Mystery Bay Blues

by Robert G. Barrett

  ‘Have you seen my fuckin car?’ he howled.

  ‘What do you think I got you out of bed for?’ said Les.

  ‘Who the fuckin hell did that?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ answered Les. ‘But there was a bloke hanging round out the front last night.’ Les told

  Warren about chasing off the man with the beard before going to bed. ‘It might have been him.’

  ‘What a cunt,’ said Warren.

  ‘At least it’s not your windscreen,’ offered Les.

  ‘Ohh yeah, great. You know how much a rear window is for a fuckin Celica.’

  ‘No. The same as one for a piecost, I suppose.’

  ‘A piecost?’ said Warren. ‘What’s a fuckin piecost?’

  ‘About two dollars fifty with sauce.’

  ‘Ohh what’s the fuckin use?’ groaned Warren.

  ‘Woz,’ said Les. ‘Why don’t you go and have a shower and get ready. Grace and Clover will be here soon.’

  ‘Yeah righto.’

  Warren shuffled back to his bedroom then had a shower while Les read the paper in the kitchen. Les had just finished when a car pulled up in the driveway. He heard voices and a few moments later Grace and Clover walked in the front door. Clover had her bags with her. She left them in the hallway, then they both stepped into the kitchen, each wearing T-shirts and jeans.

  ‘What happened to Warren’s car?’ asked Clover.

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said Les. ‘Warren’s inside. Maybe you should ask him?’

  Clover walked off to the front bedroom leaving Grace in the kitchen. Les folded the paper and smiled up at her. ‘Good morning Grace,’ he said.

  ‘Hi,’ replied Grace. She gave Les a quick once up and down. ‘So how are you this morning?’

  ‘Come here,’ Les indicated with his head.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Come here.’ Grace came over and Les pulled her down onto his knee then kissed her all over her neck.

  ‘Goodness,’ flustered Grace. ‘What was that for?’

  Grace took a chair and Les told her about the pain in his back disappearing and how good he felt all round.

  ‘You’re a genius, Grace,’ said Les. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

  Grace was all smiles. ‘That’s great,’ she said. ‘I knew it would work.’

  ‘Work? It’s nothing short of a miracle.’

  ‘And you sprinted up the hill?’

  ‘I flew. My shadow was flat out keeping up with me.’ Les rubbed his hands together. ‘Poor bloody Morgan. He won’t know what’s hit him.’

  Grace looked sagely at Les. ‘Don’t be too sure, Les. He’s a big man. And I’ve seen what he can do to people.’

  Les was about to say something when Clover and Warren walked into the kitchen. Warren was still wearing his tracksuit. But he looked much better after a shower.

  ‘Warren tells me you had an intruder last night,’ said Clover.

  Grace turned to Les. ‘An intruder?’

  ‘Yeah. In the front yard.’ Les pushed out a chair. ‘Okay Clover. Grab a seat. I’d like to have a word with you. You too Grace.’ Les waited for Clover and Warren to get comfortable then he zeroed in on Warren’s girlfriend. ‘Righto Clover, what’s going on?’

  ‘Going on?’ replied Clover. ‘How do you mean, Les?’

  ‘How do I mean? All right,’ said Les evenly. ‘This house, both your little ears prick up when me and Warren mention things that keep happening. Like the bear, and the rat in the piano. And the cold. And you’re always asking us how we slept.’

  ‘So?’ shrugged Clover.

  ‘So,’ repeated Les. ‘Our stuff lying around the bathroom and the rat-trap in the fridge. And the horsehoe under my door. I thought that was Warren. But it wasn’t.’ Warren smiled, vindicated as Les pointed his finger at Clover. ‘Anyway, forget all the other shit for the moment. But that horseshoe sitting on the back seat of Warren’s car. It’s the same one that was under my door. I threw it under the trees out the front. Now, if Warren didn’t stick it under my door, who did?’ Les narrowed his eyes at Clover. ‘You? Grace? Elves?’

  Clover glanced at Grace then looked directly at Norton. ‘Okay Les,’ she said. ‘I’ll give it to you straight. The place is haunted.’

  Warren sat up in his chair. ‘Haunted?’

  ‘Yes. There’s a presence in the house,’ said Clover.

  ‘That’s right,’ added Grace. ‘The Merrigan house has a poltergeist. It’s the town’s best kept secret.’

  ‘Well, I’ll be buggered,’ said Les. ‘How bloody slow am I?’

  The girls looked at Norton without saying anything.

  ‘So what happened?’ asked Les. ‘Did someone get murdered in here?’

  ‘No,’ answered Grace. ‘We think it’s Edward Ruddle.’

  ‘The surveyor?’ Les stared at Grace for a moment. ‘Hey wait a minute,’ he said. Les hurried out to the table on the verandah and came back with Jasmine Cunneen’s book. He sat down and flicked through the pages till he came to the photo of Edward Ruddle and Gwendolyn Monteith. ‘That’s him,’ said Les, stabbing his finger on the page. ‘That’s the bloke I saw out the front last night. Only he was wearing a straw hat.’

  ‘Edward actually appeared last night?’ said Grace.

  ‘Yeah,’ answered Les. ‘In this green cloud. I thought I was still tripping.’

  ‘Oh my God!’ said Clover. ‘That was the ectoplasmic aura. You saw the real deal, Les.’

  ‘Christ! A bloody ghost,’ said Warren.

  ‘What exactly was he doing out the front, Les?’ asked Grace.

  ‘Nothing really. He was just standing near the cars staring at me.’ Les thought for a second. ‘Then he held his hand up and pointed. Like he was trying to tell me something.’

  ‘So what did you do?’ asked Grace.

  ‘I told him to piss off.’

  ‘And did he?’

  ‘Yeah. He just vanished into the night.’

  ‘Then came back later,’ said Clover.

  ‘But why would he want to break my window?’ asked Warren. ‘I’ve never done anything to him.’

  ‘This is the fifth day people have been in the house,’ said Clover. ‘That’s when the presence starts to get violent. After the fourth day.’

  ‘Terrific,’ said Les.

  ‘Now you know why we never rent the place,’ said Clover. ‘We can’t rent it. We can’t sell it. We can’t do anything with it. We’re stuck with it.’

  ‘That’s what happened to Eachan,’ said Grace. ‘Edward drove him insane.’

  ‘Well, why didn’t you tell us what was going on?’ asked Warren.

  ‘Yeah. You could have warned us,’ agreed Les.

  ‘Oh, you both would have laughed at me,’ said Clover. ‘Besides that,’ she smiled, ‘I wanted to know what went on in here.’

  ‘Thanks Clover.’ Les turned to Grace. ‘Naturally you were in on this too?’

  ‘Well, I’d heard so much about the place, Les,’ answered Grace.

  ‘So when it turned freezing cold in here at night,’ said Warren, ‘that was Edward cruising around.’

  ‘Yes. That was the ectoplasm, sweetheart,’ smiled Clover. ‘Edward’s cool vibe from the spirit world.’

  ‘Shit!’

  There was silence for a moment, then Les looked around the table. ‘So what do we do now? Call Ghostbusters?’

  ‘No,’ said Clover, rising to her feet. ‘We go and have breakfast. Grace has got something she wants to show you.’

  ‘Yes. Let’s have breakfast,’ said Grace, also rising from her chair.

  ‘Yeah, suits me,’ said Les. ‘Ghost or no ghost. I’m that hungry, I’d eat the arse out of a dead werewolf.’

  They got their things and walked up to the restaurant. The girls were chatting away, quite pleased that thanks to Les they could now verify who the spirit was. Warren was glad he was getting out.

  Carey’s wasn’t crowded and they were able to get a table near the window. They ordered br
eakfast, Les paid and they got their little wooden objects again. Les couldn’t help but laugh when Warren got a pineapple. They sat down, the first coffees arrived, then they started talking about the night before and the mushrooms. Grace reminded them that they’d have a flashback sometime tomorrow.

  The waitress brought the food over and the conversation swung back to the house. Clover told them how the presence never made itself felt before midnight. Why? She didn’t know. The house had never been broken into or vandalised. The locals gave it a wide berth. Some kids from Sydney got in there once. One fell over the balcony and broke his leg. Another had his fingers crushed when a door slammed on them. A medium from Sydney stayed there two nights. Although she never identified the spirit, she said it was seeking something. But it was trapped around the house. And until it got what it sought, it would remain in the house and the violence would continue. Clover’s parents avoided any publicity and apart from one small story in the local paper, they’d managed to keep everything away from the mainstream media. All up, it was a lovely old house. But it was also a giant pain in the arse — thanks to Edward. Their second coffees arrived and Les turned to Grace.

  ‘Clover said you had something you wanted to show me?’ he asked her.

  ‘Yes.’ Grace opened her bag and took out a small folder of photos. ‘I only got these this morning. But remember when I came round the house and took some photos?’

  ‘Last Friday?’ said Les.

  ‘That’s right. And I took a couple of you standing in the doorway out on the verandah. Take a look.’ Grace slid the photos over.

  Les looked at the photos. They were good, happy snaps. He was facing the sun with a smile on his face and he looked fit and relaxed without posing.

  ‘That’s definitely me,’ said Les. ‘Handsome devil that I am.’

  ‘Arguably,’ said Grace. ‘But have a look at the doorway off the lounge. Up on the right.’

  Les peered at the photos. It was a little dark inside the house. Then he saw it, sticking out of the door jamb. A shadowy hand and wrist.

  ‘Bloody hell!’ exclaimed Les. ‘Look at that. It’s a hand.’

  ‘Give me a look.’ Warren picked the photos up from the table. ‘Shit! It is too.’

  ‘You can bet that’s Edward’s hand,’ said Clover.

  ‘Just letting us know he was around,’ said Grace.

  ‘Is it in any of the other photos?’ asked Les.

  Grace shook her head. ‘No. Only those ones.’

  Les continued to stare at the photos. ‘That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.’

  ‘Yes. Kind of spooky, isn’t it,’ said Grace.

  Warren handed the photos back to Grace and turned to Les. ‘Brrrhh,’ he shuddered. ‘I’m glad you’re staying there Ugly, and not me.’

  ‘Yeah. Not for much longer,’ replied Les. ‘I’m booking into a motel. Before Edward starts leaving funnel web spiders round the house or something.’

  ‘I don’t blame you.’ Warren looked at his watch and turned to Clover. ‘Well, Clover dearest,’ he said. ‘We’d better make a move. We’ve got a long drive home.’

  ‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘And it’s going to be a breeze too.’

  ‘Yeah,’ nodded Warren. ‘Thanks to Casper, the not so friendly, bloody ghost.’

  ‘Hey Warren, how much money have you got on you?’ asked Les.

  ‘Money? About three hundred bucks.’

  ‘Can you get any more on your Visa card?’

  ‘Yeah. Another four hundred. Why?’

  ‘You got any money on you, Clover?’ asked Les.

  ‘A couple of hundred,’ she replied.

  ‘Can you get some more from the ATM?’

  ‘About the same as Warren. Four hundred.’

  ‘Okay,’ said Les. ‘Can you give it to me? I’ll give it straight back to you as soon as I get home.’

  ‘What’s with all the money?’ asked Warren.

  Les winked at Grace. ‘I’m feeling pretty good. And I want to back myself this afternoon.’

  ‘That’s right,’ said Warren. ‘You’ve got to fight that relation of yours from Queensland. I forgot all about it.’

  ‘And you want to … back yourself?’ said Clover.

  ‘Yeah,’ answered Les. ‘I reckon I’m a chance to beat him.’

  Clover shook her head. ‘I’ve heard you’re pretty good, Les. But Morgan Scully? Christ! He eats crowbars and shits barbwire.’

  ‘You haven’t been into those mushrooms again, have you Les?’ asked Warren.

  ‘No. But thanks for all your support,’ said Les. ‘A hanged man would get the same from a length of rope.’

  ‘Sorry mate,’ smiled Warren. ‘It’s just that I’ve seen the opposition.’

  ‘So can I get the money?’

  ‘Yeah, come on,’ said Clover. ‘There’s a bank opposite the paper shop.’

  They all rose from the table, then walked down to the lights and crossed the road to the ATM. With what Les came up with, they were able to raise two thousand five hundred dollars between them. Clover would call into Dalmeny on the way home and get some travelling money from her mother. Les counted the money in front of everybody, then they walked back to the house.

  While Clover helped Warren pack his gear, Les got a whisk broom from the boot of his car, took the horseshoe from Warren’s, placed it near the steps and brushed away the broken glass. Grace got a dustpan and broom from the kitchen and helped. Before long Warren’s car was tidied up, his bags were in the boot with Clover’s and everyone was standing in the driveway.

  ‘Well Les,’ said Warren. ‘What can I say? Good luck with that big goose this afternoon.’

  ‘Thanks Woz,’ replied Les. ‘I’ll tell you all about it when I get home.’

  ‘See you then, Ugly.’

  Les gave Warren a pat on the shoulder, Clover gave Les a goodbye kiss on the cheek and kissed Grace goodbye, promising to keep in touch. Clover got in the car and Warren started backing down the driveway. He tooted the horn and they disappeared towards the highway.

  Les turned to Grace. ‘So what did you think of the boarder?’

  ‘He’s lovely,’ she replied. ‘They both are.’

  ‘Yeah. They’re all right, aren’t they.’

  Grace smiled at Les. ‘So you’re moving out of the house?’

  ‘Yeah,’ nodded Les. ‘I’ll book into a motel this afternoon. I’m not scared or anything, I’m absolutely terrified … What if Edward turns out to be a raving poof?’

  ‘If you’re a good boy,’ said Grace, pulling gently at Norton’s belt buckle. ‘I might let you stay in the spare room at Graceland tonight.’

  Norton’s eyes lit up. ‘Fair dinkum?’

  ‘Yes. But only tonight. I’ll have to kick you out first thing tomorrow. Ellie gets here in the morning. And I want to spend the day with her.’

  ‘Unreal,’ said Les. ‘I’ll bring something with me.’

  ‘Okay. That would be good.’ Grace looked up at Norton for a moment. ‘Les. If anything should go wrong this afternoon, ring me, and I’ll be straight over.’

  Les smiled back at her. ‘Nothing should go wrong, Grace. But I’ll ring you anyway.’

  Grace let go of Les and opened her bag. She found her purse and handed Les a fifty dollar bill.

  ‘What’s this?’ asked Les.

  ‘That’s my last fifty dollars till Ellie’s grandmother gets here tomorrow,’ replied Grace. ‘I want to place a bet on you.’

  ‘You want to back me with your last fifty dollars?’

  ‘Why not? It’s my money.’

  Les looked at Grace for a moment then pocketed the fifty. ‘I’ll make sure you get extra good odds.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Grace fumbled for her keys. ‘I have to go.’ She ran her hand across Norton’s cheek and kissed him goodbye then got in the Jackaroo. As she backed down the driveway, Grace poked her head out the window. ‘Les. Be careful this afternoon.’

  Les smiled and gave Grace a wave a
s he watched her drive off, then picked up the horseshoe and went inside.

  Les placed Grace’s fifty on his dressing table, shook his head, then put the horseshoe in the pantry and walked out onto the verandah. He watched the ocean for a while then looked at his watch and went back to the bedroom to change. Amongst his T-shirts was a plain white one with a small pocket on the front. Les wore that out over his training shorts, slipped on his thongs, packed his camera and a towel in his bag, then removed the capsules of fake blood from their packets. He placed four in the pocket of his T-shirt and the rest in his shorts, along with the twenty five hundred dollars. After a glass of water in the kitchen and a quick trip to the bathroom, Les put his Bugs Bunny cap and sunglasses on, picked up his bag and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.

  Les took the way to the park along the jetty. As he passed the baths, he noticed the hessian was still up but the tents had all been pulled down. Two men were standing at the side entry and there appeared to be quite a commotion inside. Les walked round the front to find a small queue at the entrance. Above the entrance a plastic sign said: GALA SPORTING EVENT. FIVE DOLLARS DONATION FOR THE LIONS CLUB. LUCKY DOOR PRIZE. Two women in jeans and jackets were standing behind a table taking donations and handing out tickets. Les joined the queue and waited his turn.

  ‘What’s the story, ladies?’ he asked.

  ‘The Lions Club is having a boxing match,’ said one lady with dark hair. ‘It’s five dollars in and there’s a lucky door prize.’

  ‘Yeah. What’s the lucky door prize?’ asked Les.

  ‘A special meat tray from the Lions Club.’

  ‘Unreal. So who’s fighting?’

  ‘A man from Sydney and a local boy. They’re both heavyweights. And it’s a grudge match.’

  ‘Sounds good,’ said Les.

  He fished a fifty from his pocket and handed it to the woman with dark hair. She gave him a ticket and counted his change into his hand.

  ‘Thank you,’ said the woman. ‘And have a nice day.’

  ‘I’m sure I will. Thanks.’ Les pocketed his change and walked inside.

  Along with the big tents, the food stalls had gone from the end of the park and in their place a large crowd had formed out from the fence. To the right was a small caravan with a table in front of it and standing next to a whiteboard, you couldn’t miss Norm’s bulk in a Blues Festival T-shirt. As Les approached he noticed Norm’s wife and another woman, both wearing Blues Festival T-shirts, seated at the table taking bets and putting the money in a metal strongbox. Les strolled over and caught Norm’s eye.