Assassin Territory [Assassins Book 1]
Page 9
Christy cried out, gripping him harder. In her overwhelming surprise, she grasped at him as though he held her life in his arms, encouraging him to remain within her, not wanting this feeling to end as the tide of waves washed over her, leaving her vulnerable, tired and so fulfilled. She never felt such an engulfing pleasure as her body relaxed with a shudder beneath him.
“Oh, Lando.” She craved him, not wanting this sensation to end.
She tugged at his powerful body, yearning for his weight on her slight form. She was loath to release him. Lando remained buried within her. His ragged breathing slowed and he lowered more of his powerful form onto her. She wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him.
“I don’t want to crush you, sweetheart,” he said with concern.
“No, stay. Don’t you see, nothing could ever harm me with you on me,” Christy implored, reveling in the safety she desperately desired.
Lando chuckled. “I think you’re pretty damn right in that assumption; I doubt you could even be seen under me.”
He lay pressed against her for a few moments longer, and then rolled to the side with a soft sigh. Christy cuddled up to his chest placing her head on his shoulder. She waited a bit apprehensively for a moment then relaxed when he didn’t shift her away from him. After being with Chad, he never allowed her this small intimacy, claiming exhaustion. Chad told her hurtfully he couldn’t sleep with her touching him.
Christy sighed. Lando lifted her chin and looked down at her with concern.
“What is it, Christy, are you sorry?”
“No, I’m not sorry, just afraid.”
“Of me?”
“No. Well yes, but it’s not that,” Christy mused.
“Then what?”
“If we do make it out of here alive, what then?” she asked. She felt sudden hurt at his reluctant, somewhat annoyed look, and realized perhaps he felt it was a commitment question, when all she wanted was the truth.
“I was a hired killer, Christy,” he finally answered. She listened intently, needing to understand right away all of the facts. “When we get back, I need to testify. If I’m still alive afterwards by some miracle, I end up in the Witness Protection Program. New life, new identity. No ties.”
Christy stroked the hair on his chest. I will again be abandoned, she thought, but she was grateful in a way. He was telling her the truth and not playing games. And he was right. What kind of future would she have with a man like him? She knew nothing about him. He seemed reluctant to discuss his past with her. A man like Lando wouldn’t want her near; his life was too volatile. With sad realization, she rolled away from him. It would be best not to get too close. She wouldn’t be able to stand the loss of another, perhaps another betrayal.
“Christy, don’t deny yourself a chance at a special relationship because of your fear. Doesn’t wanting me prove to you that you are, in fact, ready and willing to love again?” Lando asked. He rolled to secure her body to his.
“I don’t want to be hurt again,” she whispered, though she clutched at his arm.
“Every relationship has its failings,” Lando reasoned and returned her grip.
“This one was doomed from the start,” she moaned.
“I could see how thinking to kill you does have its drawbacks,” Lando said.
“You said you used to kill,” she challenged.
“I am what I am. And though I have no intention of hiring myself out ever again, I live for the moment.”
“I’ve never just lived for the moment,” Christy said, her bottom teeth began to worry on her top lip from a nervous habit. The concept of here and now with no future seemed so unreal.
“That’s all I’ve ever lived for,” Lando admitted. “With my lifestyle, I never knew if tomorrow would come for me. The women I’ve been with are taken with wild passion, wondering if I’ll hold one again. The food I consume is eaten with enjoyment. Everything I did or have done is as if I were living my last day because it very well might be. Never once have I planned on there being a tomorrow.”
“Have you never wanted a wife or children, your own family?” She was curious.
In her world of charity functions attended with her mother, that’s what everyone strived for. The women wanted a rich, successful husband. The men wanted to brag about their wives and how well their children were doing in school or their after school programs. They wanted not only prosperity, but a chance to show it off. What was the point in a gala affair without a beautiful woman on your arm? Or even better, Chad had said, would be to have a pregnant woman. Then everyone would know how virile he was. The idea of Chad being a father made her cringe. Would he have beaten his own children?
“How could I have a wife, Christy? Do you understand what her life would be like? Can you even imagine what fears she would be exposed to? Never knowing if her husband was coming home, never knowing if someone would try and kill her, wanting revenge. Waiting for the police to show up at her door, or worse, barging through her door to pin her down, demanding my whereabouts,” Lando said.
Christy thought about that for a moment. “You must be so lonely,” she said, sad for him. Lando’s eyes widened, apparently surprised at her compassionate words.
“I’ve never needed anyone,” he replied, his tone gruff.
“You must have needed someone. At least when you were little.”
“I was abandoned as a baby. No one wanted me. The family who took me in did it for the money. I was never shown love, compassion, or kindness. I was on the street alone by the time I was ten. But by then, I was more than able to care for myself. I learned at a young age how to fend for myself. I got odd jobs. I did all right,” Lando said; his last words were abrupt.
“That’s terrible, how awful for you,” Christy cried in outrage. No wonder he was so hard. She was surprised he was even capable of a merciful act. What a horrible childhood he must have suffered through.
“It taught me to be responsible for myself, not to depend on anyone,” Lando snapped.
“Children should never have to be responsible for themselves,” Christy began; she could tell the pity in her voice touched a nerve. “I can hear your anger and I understand where it stems from. I can feel sorry, and a deep sympathy for the helpless little boy, but you are a grown man and responsible for your own actions, no matter your childhood and upbringing.”
“As are you,” he challenged. Christy winced at his hurtful intention. She cringed wondering what horrible name he was about to call her. She resisted the urge to cover her ears. Her body tensed. “You can’t let another control you with words or actions. Take a stand and stop being a doormat. Do some yelling of your own,” Lando demanded.
“But I don’t want to make you angry; I don’t want you to hurt me,” Christy said.
Lando turned her to gaze deeply into her eyes. “I have been angry. Have I hurt you?” he asked.
“Chad said he wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I’m not Chad. You may think I’ve got no honor because of my profession; it’s Chad who has no honor. He’s a bastard. He professed to love you, but look at what he did to you. He beat you. You cry out at night, you’re still so fearful of being beaten again. He took your self-respect and stomped on it. Your body wasn’t the only thing that shit beat, was it?” Lando demanded.
“No,” she admitted her tone soft. Lando was right.
“Damn him to hell for beating your emotions. Damn him to hell for taking away your want of love and affection. Not all men are cruel. I realize I haven’t helped with what you’re feeling. I didn’t want to kill you because I’m evil. Because of who and what you are, you could never understand my need to stop suffering in a fashion I’m familiar with, the only fashion I’m familiar with.” Lando pulled her to his chest; there wasn’t an inch between them.
Christy held onto him, her emotions raging. No one had ever said to her the things Lando did. She hadn’t talked to anyone. But he was right, she didn’t understand his intentions. She would have sat with h
im, holding his hand until he died if it had been he who was injured. She never would have even entertained thoughts of causing his demise for any reason. And yet…and yet, on a deeper level she was beginning to understand some of who and what he was. He gave her a glimpse into his frightening world. A gift or a curse, it was what it was—him.
“Why were you with that police officer? I mean, why will you be put in the Witness Protection Program if they know you kill people?” Christy asked. She didn’t understand why the authorities would let someone like him go free and help him do it.
“A rift formed between some of my people,” Lando said. From the way he tensed and his tight-lipped response she could tell he was being cautious or evasive. She didn’t want him to cut her off or shut down.
“I’m sorry. Am I asking too much?” she asked, seriously concerned she overstepped her bounds.
He sighed and relaxed. “It wouldn’t be wise for you to know. When we reach civilization you might be hurt or worse if my people think you know anything or have gotten close to me. Too much information might put you in danger. I won’t be able to protect you from them if I’m in police custody.”
“Would you protect me?”
“You may not be able to stay with me, but right now, right here, you’re mine,” Lando informed her. He once more became possessive. “As long as you’re in my care, I’ll protect the hell out of you from anything, anyone. Sweetheart, you have no idea what happens in my world. I understand the people who are coming for me. You may not comprehend this, but I respect them. They’re in a class all their own. Only one who lives it would be able to understand it.”
Christy gazed at him, digesting his words, his passion. She reached up a slender hand and ran it down his rough cheek. The stubble on his face had grown in to a point that made it still harsh.
“Will you teach me to live for the moment?” Christy asked. She gazed into his eyes. She wanted him again, but she wondered if she would be able to overcome the hurt at another separation. Perhaps with his help…
* * * *
“I’ll teach you whatever you want to learn.”
Once again, Lando sensed the invitation. With renewed passion, he captured her lips. With a deep hunger, his hands roamed her body, wanting to feel all of her at once. His mouth seized a dusty rose-colored nipple and he suckled, tugging with enthusiasm. His fingers delved with hunger into her heat, searching her warmth, claiming her as his.
Christy whimpered under him and Lando looked into her skittish eyes. She seemed alarmed and fearful as he grew rougher. He wanted her in a different way this time, he wanted more of her and he would have more. She offered and he explained he lived for the moment. This time he wanted wild abandon.
“Are you afraid?”
“I want you. You seem to want to consume me,” she replied, and he sensed her panic. “No one has ever been as passionate as you.”
“I am the big bad wolf. I want to consume you. I want to own every inch of you. I want you to forget any man you’ve ever been with. I want to possess you, every inch is mine. I will possess you,” Lando declared, his raging desire burned deep.
“No cruelty?” she whispered.
“I would never rape you. I would never hurt what’s mine. You will be mine.”
Christy quivered at his intensity. She was warned and though it was brief, her gaze flickered with acceptance. He captured her lips, taking her breath away. His tongue explored her mouth, claiming, owning, while his hand settled onto a firm round breast, gripping it. Warm wet kisses over her throat led to her shoulders.
“Lando?”
His lips trailed down her hungry for her, burning a searing path, while Christy’s breath caught and held. His passion became more than consuming, it was overwhelming.
“I’ve shown you enough mercy. You offered. I’m accepting your offer,” Lando told her, rising with intimidation over her helpless form.
His body restrained as much of his power as possible while his body enveloped hers. He plunged his throbbing cock in her heat and she cried out. His cock was doing the taking, not one ounce of his flesh punished her bruised body. His size once again a shock by her expression, his exuberance overtook him while he could hear her attempts to breathe but managed only to gasp for air. He removed himself and plunged again. Christy clasped at his broad shoulders and he could feel her nails raking against his heated flesh. Good God, she felt so small beneath him. He wanted her to feel helpless. With one hand he caught her wrists, pulling them high over her head, while his other grasped onto a thigh, dragging her hips higher. His tanned huge fingers were ominous against the paleness of her satin skin.
Sensations swarmed within him. He knew she wanted him yet she was afraid of him, of his lovemaking. He was intense, demanding. He wanted only for her to remember he lived for the moment. For him tomorrow might never come. He wanted her to realize tomorrow might not come for her either.
“Feel Christy, just feel, don’t think.”
He wasn’t purposely trying to frighten her, just make her aware. He wanted her to lose herself in wild abandon and enter into his world; he would keep her safe from harm if she trusted him.
He could tell the moment he succeeded. Christy began to move beneath him, trying to keep up with his exhausting, frantic pace until they developed a rhythm. She met each of his demanding thrusts until he knew her mind filled with thoughts of him, only him.
“Say my name, Christy,” he demanded, his words harsh and gritty.
She cried out his name again and again, her body shaking with intense spasms. Lando wrapped his body around her in possessive want, claiming her as his, satisfying his needs as well as hers. His hand released her wrists and gripped a double handful of her hair, holding her in place as his huge body drove within her, needing release. He howled his victory and plunged one last time. Her scream of release filled his ears. His body heaved as he gasped in great breaths of air. As his heart calmed, he grinned with satisfaction. He had made her his. Christy lay motionless beneath him.
“Christy?” Lando asked, feeling a moment of concern.
His nose nuzzled at her bruised cheek. No response. She remained still, silent. He blew a soft breath in her ear, hoping to elicit a response. Lando lifted higher to gaze into her serene face. Engulfed in his wild passion, he had forgotten her bruised ribs as emotion took over. He forgot her fear of what transpired earlier in the day. He forgot how tiny and frail she was compared to him.
“Christy?” he again questioned growing worried. His hand clasped her chin, shaking it with care.
“Please, Lando. I know you have shown me enough mercy, but you wore me out. Let me sleep,” Christy implored on a quiet breath. Her body sated, she looked beyond exhausted. She rolled beneath him, tugging on his arm, enticing him to cuddle with her.
Sighing with relief, Lando pulled her to his side. He would have to be gentler with her in the future or she might be too afraid to let him touch her again. That would be a shame; they would undoubtedly be out here for a while. She wasn’t like the women he was used to; he could have hurt her. Lando didn’t want to hurt or frighten her. He could also hear the voice inside his head voicing its anger at his roughness. Lando cringed, suddenly embarrassed.
The big bad wolf? Please!
Chapter 7
Christy watched with apprehension as Lando slung her duffel bag to his shoulder. She wanted to stay in the first safe shelter she had really known since Chad, yet Lando insisted they must keep moving while the weather held. They couldn’t possibly survive in the wilderness throughout the winter in such a tiny cave with no provisions. This far north the snow would cover the cave, leaving them trapped and unable to forage for food. Christy understood his reasoning but was loath to give up the security and protection the small cave offered.
“How do we even know if we’re headed in the right direction?” Christy mused.
“Mac’s watch has a compass on it,” Lando explained. “Between that and the starlight, I’ve been able to sta
y on a basic route. It’s just a matter of locating the North Star and the Big Dipper.”
“Very impressive for a city boy.”
Lando tossed her a calculating look. “Some people can be very helpful while looking down the barrel of a silencer.” Christy’s eyes widened, feeling unnerved.
Lando began walking, but she could hear his soft chuckle. She guessed he sensed her indecision. Christy looked longingly back at the warm cave, missing the safety it offered, then turned and followed Lando.
They trudged on for hours at a steady pace, following the stream down river. Many of the large trees were coniferous, their branches bulky, which made seeing past the next tree or large pile of rocks difficult.
Christy was fearful as they rounded each bend. She was apprehensive of running into another Kodiak. She climbed over one fairly large mound of dead leaves, moss, and small broken limbs, yanking at clothing the foliage determined to make its own. She scrambled after Lando, who moved with ease, his longer legs a definite boon, until Christy’s stumbling began to increase. To her credit, she never lagged or complained; she refused to. She was abused and battered but she wanted to take some of her emotions back, which proved hard. Each time she stumbled, she heard Chad’s hateful words about how useless she was and with determination she put one foot in front of the other and tuned him out. Over time, she reluctantly admitted she wasn’t useless, just injured. Christy was completely exhausted before long, afraid she’d soon be unable to continue.
Lando stopped by the stream and dropped the duffel bag. Christy slumped on a large rock. After Lando had a quick fire going, he moved off to the stream to fish.