“Okay. This doesn’t mean you’re my man though, right?” I laughed easily and licked my dry lips, high off of every inhale and exhale. His fingers tightened on my waist at the words and I bit back a moan.
Keep it together, Neve.
He frowned before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I got zero interest in being your man, honey.”
The music ended and I realized that Rooster was the only one still in the room, sitting on a barstool, watching both of us curiously.
“Charm.” Gunner walked in. “Got something you need to see.”
I waved at him and he scowled in return, giving his full attention back to his Prez.
Charm stumbled as he backed away. “Yep. Let’s go. Neve, you good here? Got everything you need?”
I nodded and waited until they left before letting out a heavy exhale of disappointment. It wasn’t like a relationship with Charm was even a viable option, but finding out that he had zero interest in being my man still stung.
I had to pull this party off.
They were all counting on me.
I just hoped that I didn’t let them all down.
Charm
My girl’s a goddamned genius. And it’s not just her impressive math skills; she’s changing them.
Guardrail is all of a sudden cutting back on his alcohol. PD’s gone homeopathic—and it’s not even related to the Pilates shit that Ali talks him into. I saw Gunner studying one of Neve’s ASL signs like it was a treasure map.
Gunner.
Doc swore that she would be replacing him any day now.
And Twitch? I hadn’t seen him smile like that since her. I hadn’t seen him fight to stay sober in a long time either.
Now, Rooster has her giving him dating tips.
That night, on the porch, I thought we were close. The air reeked of weed and I knew that Twitch was most definitely behind it. Instead of being angry, I’d been caught up in her words.
It had been real to her too and her confession only made me want her more—despite her fucked up past, she had honor and that wasn’t something just anyone possessed.
She disregarded her feelings out of respect for Rae.
Neve had looked up at me from underneath her lashes and her lips automatically parted when I led her up against the side of the clubhouse, leaving me feeling—I wasn’t even sure I knew how to describe it. I’d never felt it before.
Overjoyed?
Thrilled?
Ass over teakettle for her?
Whatever it was, I’ve felt it every time I looked at her.
It was irrational—craving her like this.
With any other woman, I would’ve walked away by now, but she makes life worth living. She’s taken eight men—men who had nothing—and given them purpose.
She carries physical and emotional reminders of her past, yet always seems to have a smile on her face.
Little Miss Sunshine.
If I ever work up the courage, I’m gonna tell her about the girl in the picture and then claim her as mine for eternity.
Chapter Nineteen
“Okay, we can set that pan over on the back counter.”
Joker grabbed a pair of oven mitts and moved the pan of baked beans from the oven to an empty countertop. We hadn’t had a moment to rest. The past three days had been nothing but work.
I spent yesterday morning cleaning the entire clubhouse and the damn thing sparkled from all the elbow grease. I’d taken some extra time cleaning Gunner’s room—okay, I snooped.
Again.
I’d done something nice for almost all of the guys, but I hadn’t been able to think of one thing to do for him.
It had taken me an extra fifteen minutes, but in his nightstand, under a roll of condoms, was a worn picture of two Marines. I studied the picture and realized that one of them was Gunner. When I turned the picture over, there was a name and a date.
I’d known that he was a Marine, but nothing was ever mentioned in the journal about his return home. It appeared that Twitch wasn’t the only one who’d lost friends in battle.
Feeling like a thief, I’d tucked the photo into the waistband of my jeans and finished cleaning. Once I was sure that no one was paying attention, I snuck out and drove into town. The men were busy getting the meat ready to smoke—something that was going to take all night from what I understood.
I doubted they’d even noticed I was gone. I parked the truck to find them gathered around the smoker back near the storage shed, drinking and laughing. I’d simply returned the photograph back to his nightstand and set the canvas up on his dresser before heading back to work.
Hours later, I woke to an empty house and realized that the men hadn’t even made it back inside. Joker joined me in the kitchen about an hour after I got up and we worked side by side in comfortable silence. I’d made the potato salad up in advance, so all we had to take care of were the baked beans.
I was going to need to nap for a week to recover.
I cleaned out her room today—Luck insisted. Said he had a prospect that was patching in and needed a place. I thought about splitting his face open, but remembered the plan.
Billy showed up and helped; Bobby’s still in Psych…something about a mandatory seventy-two hour hold. We didn’t talk; just worked in silence, packing her things.
I was proud of myself, thinking that I’d done alright until I saw the book. We all had one—she’d insisted on it. After Matt’s broken arm, she was adamant that we learn to communicate with him the only way he knew how. I sank down on the bed and turned the pages, my fingers tracing her drawings, as my chest tightened in despair.
It just hit me that she’ll never draw another picture.
I’ll never again see her head bent over that damn desk while she furiously sketches a masterpiece.
I lost it and demanded everyone’s copy.
I torched them all, but the pain in my chest has only gotten worse. My love for her is a grave that I can’t seem to stop digging.
I wanted to shed my ratty clothes and head upstairs to shower, but I owed this to Charm. I was finally beginning to understand his anger over the signs I’d made. I’d practically rubbed his face in the fact that she was gone.
I turned to Joker. “Hey, I forgot to take the signs down. I’m just gonna take care of that while this finishes up. Okay?”
His face fell, but he nodded.
No one had mentioned them again, but I knew what they must’ve been reminded of every time they passed by one. The other clubs weren’t likely to let it go unnoticed either. I’d just pulled the second one off when his voice startled me.
“What the hell are you doin’?”
I jumped and turned around. “Hey, good morning. I was just getting rid of these before the party.”
I wanted to try and fix a horrible mistake…
Charm shook his head before barking out, “Let’s put it to a vote. See what the club says.”
My mouth fell open in shock. “Are you drunk? You all but told me to take them down not that long ago.”
“Guys! Let’s go.”
The other bikers walked in and sat down at the table, as if it was completely normal to call impromptu meetings in the middle of the dining area.
He walked around to the head of the table and addressed them. “Listen up, Neve here was thinking she should take down the signs before the other clubs arrive. Thoughts?”
PD shook his head. “They stay.” He’d been using his Neti Pot faithfully and I hadn’t heard him sneeze since. He was much more pleasant to be around; although that might’ve had more to do with me bumping into Ali as she snuck out of his room one early morning last week.
Rooster gave me a cocky grin. “Stay.”
Joker held his thumb and pinky out in a Y handshape before shoving his knuckles forward and down.
Stay.
Guardrail raised an O’Doul’s in a toast to me. “I like ‘em.”
Twitch fingered a chain around his neck and my he
art skipped a beat at the sight of the medallion hanging from the end of it. “The kid’s stuff stays.”
Doc pinched his lower lip between his thumb and forefinger, lost in thought. He looked like he’d done more than just hang out with the smoker—I wasn’t even sure how he was remaining upright. “I vote they stay,” he said, with a slight slur.
Gunner sat silently at the end of the table. I knew there was no way in hell that he’d be on my side. He cleared his throat and looked around the room. “Well, Neve. I’ll say what no one else has the balls to—” I cringed. “The signs class this shithole up. I say they stay.”
Charm nodded. “Looks like it’s unanimous. You better get those two rehung and then get ready for the party.”
The men cleared out to finish setting up and Joker retreated back into the kitchen, while I stood in disbelief with the signs in my hand.
Had Gunner been abducted by aliens?
That was the only explanation for the complete one eighty he’d just done.
“Neve.” The voice was soft.
I held my hand up. “Just a second, Gunner. I’m trying to determine if you’ve been body snatched.”
He smirked at me, but his eyes were shiny. He tried to cover it up by running his hands through his hair. “You know there’s no motherfuckin’ way that aliens would even think about crossing me.”
I smiled. That sounded like Gunner.
He cupped my face in his hands and my eyes widened. This was definitely not Gunner.
“Neve, I saw what you did—in my room. No one’s ever—that picture—honoring Cody like that?” He got choked up and paused. “Let’s just say you’re not a complete pain in the ass.”
If I would’ve known that enlarging a photograph of him and a Marine buddy was the way to his heart, I would’ve done it day one. He might as well have told me that he wanted me to have his babies. My mouth was near the floor and he kept my face gripped in his hands before leaning in and pressing a rough kiss to my forehead.
“Thanks.”
By the time I remembered to respond with a weak “You’re welcome,” he was already gone again. A river flowed from my eyes as I rehung the two pictures and, after being assured that Joker had the kitchen under control, I went upstairs to shower.
I let the hot water knead my sore muscles for as long as I could stand it before towel drying off and getting to work on my hair and face. I hadn’t worn any of the makeup I got at the store. I hadn’t worn anything since the afternoon that Amber came over. There just hadn’t seemed to be any point to it with me cooking and cleaning all day.
I wiped the steam from the mirror and smiled at the girl in the reflection. Almost three months of taking care of myself had done wonders. I’d put on some much-needed weight and my face no longer looked skeletal.
I was damn proud of the woman I was becoming, even if I’d endured Hell to get here.
I took my time applying makeup and blow-drying my hair until it hung in loose waves down my back. Amber had told me that these gatherings were a big deal, so I wanted to look my best.
Once satisfied that I’d mastered the beauty aspect, I pulled the dress out of the back of my closet. I’d gone into Pearl’s Treasures with plans to find a nice blouse, but when I’d told her that it was for the barbecue, she led me over to the dresses and began gathering them up by the armful.
“Let’s get you a dressing room started.”
She had me try on only one. When I slipped on the vintage halter dress, we both agreed it was perfect. It featured large white polka dots on red material. The bust was white, with cherries and red skulls across it. It was low-cut, but for a biker gathering, I’d fit right in. The best part was that it came down to my knees, so none of my scars showed.
I smiled as I slipped it off the hanger and stepped into it. I was going to match the guys with their flaming skulls. Pearl had tried to talk me into a pair of vintage red pumps, but with it being an outdoor party, I settled on a pair of red flip flops instead.
I applied sunscreen to my arms and chest before giving myself one last glance in the mirror. It was amazing what a good dress and a little red lipstick could do.
I heard the rumble of bikes pulling up as I got to the top of the stairs and I was only slightly disappointed that there wasn’t a handsome biker with dark hair waiting for me at the bottom. However, this wasn’t Titanic and I wasn’t a woman of high-class.
With a deep breath for courage, I opened the front door and stepped out into the sunlight.
Rooster was talking to a man from one of the other clubs, but stopped and stared when he saw me. I gave a shy wave and he held his hand up, frozen.
The other guy was still talking as if nothing was amiss when I walked up. “Hey, Rooster.”
His eyes pinballed up and down my dress more than once. “Holy fucking hell, Neve. Has anyone else seen you?”
I shook my head. “Is this not okay?”
He excused himself from his conversation and latched onto my arm, pulling me through throngs of people. The biker left behind stared longingly at me and I looked away, suddenly uncomfortable.
Charm was behind the smoker, a beer in hand.
“Charm. Did you want Neve to be somewhere special?”
He didn’t look at us. “Uh, no. Just tell her to stick with our guys.”
“Why don’t you tell her yourself,” I suggested playfully and he turned around, nearly dropping his beer when saw me.
Rooster chuckled. “I thought you’d wanna see.”
I smoothed the front of the skirt with my hands and waited for him to say something, while Rooster went to grab another beer, leaving the two of us alone by the smoker. If we hadn’t been surrounded by dozens of other people, it might’ve even been considered romantic.
“Jesus, honey. You look fuckin’ amazing.” He kept staring and I began babbling away to cover up the awkwardness.
“Did you see I have skulls right here?” I gestured toward the bust. “Just like you guys.”
He swallowed and nodded. “I—uh—I did see that.”
“They’re actually considered the center of individuality and archaeologists have found skulls dating back thousands of years ago, some even predate writing systems. This means that we don’t even know why they had them on display.”
Charm nodded again, the corner of his lip turning up into a slight smirk. “You’re doing it again, Neve.”
“Doing what?”
He chuckled. “Spouting off inane facts because you’re uncomfortable.”
Luckily, PD walked up before I had to explain myself. He actually did a double take when he saw me. “Holy shit, Neve. You look sexy as fuck.”
Charm growled. “Somethin’ you need, PD?”
He frowned and took a step back. “Yeah, actually. I need Neve—we’ve got a little situation.”
I looked around. “Where’s Doc?”
PD kicked at some loose gravel with his boot. “Well, the situation is Doc. Guy’s been drinking since last night and he is beyond fucked up. Said Neve owed him.”
I groaned. “Where is he?”
I was hoping to enjoy the party for a little while before having to take care of anyone.
“We got him up in his room, for now.”
Charm gave PD a look and he added, “I’ll take you up to him.”
I brushed off any feelings of disappointment. I’d given my word to Doc. “Bye Charm. Save me some food.”
He gave me that weird look again before agreeing.
The party was in full swing now—there were bodies everywhere. I was busy counting the bikers in attendance when I got the distinct feeling that I was being watched. I turned around and there he was, back by the trees.
Clint.
He’d found me, but didn’t make a move, like I’d expected. He just stood there, watching me silently.
I sucked in a breath and PD grabbed me, spinning me around to face him. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
I blinked and looked again,
but he was gone. Had I imagined it? “I’m sorry. Thought I saw something.”
It was a hallucination.
That was the only thing that made sense.
“Neve. Neve. Neve.”
I took a deep breath and patiently replied, “Yes, Doc?”
“Have I told you how pretty you look?”
“Not in the last five minutes, no.” If I’d acted anything like he was while I was detoxing, it was a wonder he hadn’t thrown me out into the woods himself.
PD had dropped me off to find Doc hunched over the bathroom counter. “Kill me,” He’d groaned. “Why did I drink so much?”
From there, he’d proceeded to splash cold water onto his face before giving up and sinking down to rest his head against the toilet seat. I’d patted his back as he repeatedly told me how pretty I was. Apparently, his idea of manning the smoker had involved copious amounts of liquor.
“He’s gonna be so fucking pissed at me for keeping you in here,” he grumbled to the toilet seat.
I wet a washcloth with cool water and placed it on the back of his neck. “Eh, what’s a party without you?”
He continued mumbling to himself. “If I thought the black eye was bad—shit, he’s going to murder me.”
“Wait, Charm gave you the black eye?”
He nodded slowly. “Yep. I opened my big mouth and told him about strip Go Fish. I shouldn’t have done it, but I wanted him to know about your legs—see if we could track down the assholes responsible. Obviously, he didn’t take it well.”
I shook my head as my face went numb. “But, that was right after I got here. Why would he care about our game?”
He hadn’t given any indication that he’d felt anything other than disgust back then.
Doc propped his hand up under his chin and looked at me. “I can see down your dress, Neve. Is that a new bra?”
I slapped the back of his head. “Focus, Doc. Why did Charm hit you? It doesn’t make sense.”
Through The Woods Page 18