Through The Woods

by Shannon Myers

  Finally, I shook my head. “Anger isn’t even close to what I’m feeling.”

  Confusion was closer to the truth.

  He stepped closer. “When you told me that the only thing holdin’ you back was the girl in the picture, I felt something I ain’t felt in a long time. Hope. I thought that I’d give you space, let you see the truth for yourself, but I can’t seem to stay away when it comes to you, honey.”

  “What about you having ‘zero interest in being my man?’ That was just a few days ago; surely your opinion didn’t change in three days?”

  He gave me a half smile. “Honey, I stand by what I said the other day—I got zero interest in being your man.” My face fell, but he continued, “You don’t need a man—you need a goddamn warrior. A gladiator—someone willing to risk it all to keep you safe. A protector—that’s what I want to be.”

  I was wrong.

  I’d compared Charm to a gravitational pull, but gravity was weak and easily defied. I could jump and break its force. Hell, airplanes did it every day.

  With him, it was different.

  A strong nuclear force was the sturdiest of the four forces in nature, but the effects were only felt within a close range. Yet, I felt the effects of Charm all the time, whether he was at the clubhouse or not.

  It was obviously an electromagnetic force between us—two complete opposites pulled together. I’d been fighting it since I arrived, but as we’d gotten closer, it had become impossible to resist. The static electricity had built up and I was beyond caring about the zap it would inevitably bring.

  “Your sister—it’s why you kept your distance.”

  He ran a hand roughly over his face. “I couldn’t watch another person spiral out of control. So, I did what I could and when it got too hard—I had the guys fill in for me. I just need you to know that I’ll wait, however long it takes, but you’re gonna be mine.”

  My heart pounded out a steady rhythm in my chest; a reminder that I was still alive, even though it felt as if it should’ve stopped several times over the last few minutes.

  I stepped forward until our bodies were touching and looked up at him. Fire burned in his eyes, but it was obvious that he wanted me to make the first move.

  The realization struck me. He was my penguin—he’d searched an entire mountainside for ways to keep me sober and had presented his pebble in the form of sunrises and textbooks. There was no use in denying it anymore.

  Charm was it for me.

  I was in love with him. Wholly and unequivocally under his spell. I stretched on my tiptoes and cupped my hand against his cheek before taking his bottom lip between mine. “I don’t want to wait…”

  I didn’t get to finish my thought before he hoisted me up into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he strode down the hallway to his room. “Not out here.”

  We made it into the bedroom and he stripped his shirt off, before impatiently untying the halter top of my dress. The room was fairly dark and I shimmied out of it, confident he couldn’t see the marks on my legs. It was one thing to know about them and another to see them up close. I shouldn’t have worried, his eyes remained on mine as he slid his jeans down, before pushing me back onto the king-sized mattress.

  I smiled as his mouth made a trail from my neck down to my stomach, each hair on his face tickling my body. A small giggle escaped and he growled before pulling down his boxer briefs. “Fuck, Neve. I need to be inside of you and I don’t want anything between us.”

  My eyes widened in understanding and he added, “In case you’re wondering, I’m good.”

  “That’s what she said,” I blurted out before a nervous laugh escaped my lips.

  Charm rocked against me with a small growl. “Is that a yes? You gonna let me in?”

  I nodded, maybe a bit more eagerly than I should have. I hadn’t been with anyone bare—Clint might’ve been strung out, but he always used protection.

  The door knob began turning and I stiffened under him. “Go the fuck away!” He roared at the door and the handle stopped moving immediately. I was thankful he’d remembered to lock it behind us.

  With a slow thrust, Charm pushed past my every barrier, taking me ‘as is’ and filling me entirely. With each wall that he demolished, I clung to him, unable to do anything more than accept everything he was giving me. His tongue moved roughly against my lips before dropping back down to my neck…to my collar bone.

  I arched up until his beard scraped against my nipples, silently offering them up to his amazing mouth. His hands slid up the back of my legs, stroking them in time with his gentle thrusts.

  We were beyond words, completely sober, yet high on each other. The smell of smoke clung to our damp skin and I closed my eyes and breathed it in, committing it to memory. I could almost hear the crackle of the firewood and see the sparks from the embers as they floated down to earth.

  He was like the woods surrounding this place and I wanted nothing more than to get lost in him.

  His muscles rippled as he held himself above me, the sweat visible on his forehead as it made a lazy descent down past his thick eyebrows. I bit down lightly on his lip and he groaned; the sound reverberating down into my toes, forcing my body to tighten around him, fusing us together.

  I had never known anything like this before.

  I never imagined that the simple act of sex could convey love, but I felt it with each thrust of his hips. His fingers brushed against my core, while his other hand gripped my ass, anchoring me up against him.

  We were no longer Charm and Neve; it had become so much more than that. The faint taste of a cigar was on his lips along with something I couldn’t quite place— I never wanted to forget it though.

  Moans and whimpers escaped my lips; sounds I’d never heard myself make before. His mouth and hands were everywhere as he rocked into me, as if checking to make sure I was real.

  “Honey...” He murmured against my hair.

  Charm pushed me closer to the edge with his words, stripping me bare and taking everything I had to offer, before we entered into a freefall. He thrust deeply and poured himself into me while I held him in a death grip to keep from floating away. We lay in silence for a few minutes, the air punctuated only by the sounds of our labored breaths.

  “Charm—” there was so much that needed to be said.

  “Kane, honey. In here, call me by my name. Out there, I’m Charm. In here, I’m just yours.”

  It was easy for a man to sum up his feelings in a few simple words and I blinked, trying to force the tears back in, but found it was a futile effort. My words were forgotten. He’d just confessed part of his real identity to me and I knew that I owed it to him to come clean about the truth of my past, but I’d been rendered temporarily speechless.

  His rough hands brushed away the tears that made it to my cheeks and he pulled me into his side, my back up against his chest. “Sleep, sweet Neve.”

  Sunlight peeked through the blinds, pulling me from my dreams. I attempted to roll over when I realized there was a large arm draped across—well, across my breasts, specifically. The other was tucked under my head as a pillow.

  I turned my head back to look at the biker who’d stolen my heart. He was still asleep, his breathing deep and even. I wondered what he was dreaming about as his eyelids flickered rapidly.

  Moments later, he sat straight up with a gasp, and I rolled back onto the mattress.

  He took deep gulps of air before realizing I was in bed with him. Once he saw that I was though, his features relaxed and he grinned down at me. “Mornin’.”

  “Good morning.”

  “I thought I dreamed you.”

  It wasn’t some bold declaration of love, but my eyes filled regardless. “I’m real. You know, it’s kind of silly to be asking now, but I don’t know how old you are.”

  He popped his neck and stretched before answering me. “I’m thirty—you’re legal, right?”

  I smiled and nodded. “Yes, I’m legal. Twent
y-two, to be exact.”

  His eyes moved down my body and I shivered until his expression changed. His hands landed on my thighs, softly prying them open. I quickly realized why when he sputtered, “What happened to you, honey?”

  I’d known that he would be repulsed; even I could barely stand the sight of them. I was reminded daily that my mistakes had cost me so much more than a college career.

  Trying to change the subject, I exclaimed, “I just remembered—I never went back to check on Doc again.”

  It was a pathetic diversion and we both knew it.

  Charm shook his head. “I had one of the others take care of it. Now, tell me what happened.”

  I froze, like an animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. The urge to run was overwhelming, but I owed him honesty, even if doing so meant confronting the ghosts of my past.

  I swallowed even though my mouth had gone dry. “The night of the fire, I was there. My boyfriend and I were visiting my parents. I’d worked so hard to sober up because I wanted them to be proud of me—” My voice broke off in a strangled sob, but I fought it and regained control.

  “Take your time, baby.” Charm was still laying casually on his side, his hands resting on my thighs. The pink and white scars were even more prominent against his tan skin.

  I took several deep breaths before continuing, “It was hard, but I did it, and when we were there, it felt like things were back to normal. My boyfriend had never been to California before so we spent the week visiting the beach and our favorite restaurants.

  “Our last night there, we went to bed. When I woke up, I was on the front lawn with burns on my legs. My boyfriend got me out of the house just as the entire thing went up. Our room was on the first floor—my parent’s—” I paused again. “My parent’s bedroom was upstairs. The firemen found them on the stairs. The smoke alarm had malfunctioned in the hallway outside their room and the fire spread so fast. They tried to escape, but couldn’t.”

  Charm moved over me and wiped the tears from my face. “It’s okay, honey.” He murmured and I shook my head.

  “No, it’s not okay. I’m the reason they’re not here right now.” The tears fell faster. I could drown in them, but the grief would remain. I was going to lose him, just like I’d lost them.

  His eyes narrowed. “How was it your fault?”

  “It was me. I started it. I had a cell phone that my parents had given me as a way to keep in touch and I always kept it plugged in and charging on the bed next to me when I fell asleep. They determined that the fire originated from my phone—it was right next to me. If Clint hadn’t gotten me out of there, I would’ve died with them.”

  Charm put all of his weight on one arm and brought the other around my neck, pulling me into his chest. “Was Clint the same boyfriend who beat you?”

  I nodded and explained how, after my parent’s deaths and dealing with the pain from the burns, I attempted to OD on blow. I told him how numbness was the only way I’d been able to live with what happened and the way that blow helped lessen the grief, if only temporarily. I confessed that drugs had woven their way through Clint, twisting and taking root until only the addict remained.

  Then, I went through everything that happened to me the day I ended up in the woods, culminating with my rescue by Doc and the others.

  Charm sat back on the bed. “That fucker’s a dead man. You tell me where he is, Neve. We’ll take care of it. You’re part of my family now, and no one crosses me and lives to tell about it.” His thoughts echoed those of Rooster, Joker, and Doc.

  I love you.

  The words got hung up in my throat.

  He sank to his knees in front of me, running his fingers reverently across my thighs—worshipping that which I’d tried to keep hidden away. “You’re so fucking perfect,” he whispered as his mouth dropped down to my core. My eyelids fluttered closed and my head fell back as I melted against him.

  Charm’s tongue lapped at my clit—destroying all rational thought and leaving me lightheaded.

  More.

  I needed more.

  I sat up and took in the sight of his massive hands framing my thighs. It wasn’t his mouth that completely undid me; it was those hands. I’d felt it the first time he held mine under the guise of warming me up. They were daunting; I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out that he’d killed men with them.

  That was just it though.

  He’d had more than one opportunity to use those hands against me, but never once had he raised them in anger. Those hands had spoon fed me broth, wiped away my tears, and held me lovingly. Even now, his fingertips traced my scars while his mouth fought to bring me pleasure.

  For the first time in a year, I ignored the way the scarring looked silver in the sunlight, and pushed Charm onto his back. He looked up at me in surprise as I settled on top of him, yet his hands slipped easily around my waist, holding me steady. I sank down onto him and we each gave a low groan.

  I’d spent my entire life running—toward an unattainable goal or just away—but with him, I felt like I could stand still and just breathe. All of the obstacles that had come up against me were no match for my biker. Without words, we settled into a gentle rhythm; and with each thrust, he chased away the demons.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  December

  I stood up on my tiptoes to add the last gold ornament to the tree before stepping back to admire my work.

  Tree number three was complete.

  We had one in the living area, one in the dining room, and one for Charm’s room. I was just debating whether or not to go out and look for seven smaller trees to place in the other biker’s rooms when I heard the door slam downstairs, along with an exclaimed, “Holy fuck, Neve!”

  So, I may have gone a bit overboard, but it was my first holiday sober. Amber had talked me into wrapping the banister in garland, claiming that it would give the lodge a cozy Christmas feel. From the sounds coming from downstairs, I was going to have some explaining to do.

  The bedroom door opened and Charm strode in, shedding his leather vest on his way over to me. “Honey?”

  I plastered a large smile onto my face as I stood in front of the tree, hoping it would convince him that the decorations were a necessity. “Yes?”

  The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly, although it was obvious that he was trying to fight it. “Looks like you went shopping today…”

  I nodded, refusing to give anything away.

  He scratched at his beard. “And we needed all of these decorations why?”

  “Because of Christmas. Did you know that you’re standing under mistletoe right now? And mistletoe is actually an interesting thing to kiss under, considering—”

  “Considering that it’s a parasite that drains its host dry? Yeah, that doesn’t exactly scream romance.”

  I stood there, dumbfounded. “You know that? How?”

  He gave up the fight and let the grin take over his face. “Oh, honey. I read it in a book. A man has to find ways to keep up with you. Now tell me, do you know why people kiss under the mistletoe?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest cockily and opened my mouth just as I realized that I had no idea. For the first time in quite some time, I was stumped. “Well, it’s because of—I mean, everyone knows about the thing…”

  “Right. Come here.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his boots before gesturing for me to join him.

  I climbed onto his lap. “Alright, Mighty Bringer of Knowledge, why do people kiss under the mistletoe?”

  “Well, it goes back to Norse mythology. Baldr, son of Odin, dreamed of his own death. Turns out, his mother, Frigg, also dreamed of his death. She was afraid that it was prophetic and made every object vow to never come against her son.

  “Well, every object obeyed, except for mistletoe. Loki, the trickster god, used that to his advantage. He fastened it to a spear and handed it over to Baldr’s brother, who inadvertently used it against Baldr, killing him.
Luckily, the gods were able to resurrect him and Frigg declared mistletoe a symbol of love and vowed to bestow a kiss on all those who passed beneath it.” His gruff voice lulled me into a relaxed state and I settled my head against his shoulder.

  “So, because some god’s wife decreed it, a parasite that killed her son is now a symbol of love?” Mythology had always perplexed me. I think it had something to do with the fact that none of it was rooted in science.

  Charm pressed a kiss against the top of my head. “I think you’re supposed to take away that love can conquer anything, including death.”

  I slid off of his lap and back onto his bed—our bed— with a yawn. I hadn’t slept in my room since before the gathering. We’d slipped into a routine over the past couple of months—and the funny thing was that none of the guys seemed to care. The morning after the party, Charm announced that he’d claimed me and that was it.

  In biker code, I guess it meant I was off-limits and no one was to mess with me. My relationship with the other bikers had gone on, much like it had before. They were like older brothers; always teasing, yet making sure that I knew I was safe with them.

  Everything else was the same—except, at the end of the day, I fell asleep in the arms of the man I loved. It was a strange thing, being in love. While I’d seen Charm angry plenty over the past few months, he seemed happier when he was with me. The other men noticed it too—so much so, that Rooster began calling me Charm’s ‘Xanax.’

  If he was upset, they’d come find me and send me down to him. His face would light up and his body would relax the minute I entered the room. I swore I could visibly see the tension as it left his body.

  He valued my input too. He started coming to me with the club books, asking me for help. I still didn’t know exactly what the club dealt in, but he and I had become a team of sorts.

  I think he knew that I loved him, but I wanted the first time I told him to be special. I was kind of hoping that I’d come up with something spectacular while it was just the two of us over the next couple of days. The other bikers were going to be riding down to the Springs to help out another MC that had just lost their Prez. From what I’d gathered from the other bikers, they were considering bringing them on.