Rage to Adore

by Cara Lake

  Phenex had left her alone in order to train and she had no way of getting a message to Jaro or the Eunomi. She didn’t even know if news of her engagement was common knowledge yet. What it did mean was that she could at some point get close enough to Phenex that she could kill him, but that hope was futile if he fought and killed Jaro first or, Gaia forbid, if Jaro killed him. Fear kept her in a high state of alert until finally, after being bathed and dressed by two of the ladies-in-waiting, Tanith was finally led into the arena. She found herself sitting to the right of Phenex in the seat previously reserved for Sitri. It was a blatant show of ownership and the assembled throng could not fail to understand what it meant.

  News of Sitri’s disgrace had spread like wildfire. So unpopular was she that Tani’s presence at Phenex’s side was met with a few cheers from the crowd, happy that their overlord’s former mistress had been toppled from her position of power. It was clear she had been hated and it was also clear that the citizens of Serpens were curious about the new woman at their master’s side.

  Tani met the speculative glances with what she hoped was blank indifference. Her emotional state was fragile. She still felt numb from the pain of having believed Jaro was dead but at the same time fear kept a steady hand, clawing in her chest every time she considered the upcoming fight and the possible outcomes. Fighting to project impartiality and give Phenex no cause to suspect the strength of her feelings toward his opponent was a strain on her resolve. Seeing Lorcan dead at her feet, thinking he was Jaro, had shaken her to the core and no matter her loathing for his actions, he had been a part of Jaro and for some reason Jaro had sought to protect him. She couldn’t begin to process how he must be feeling and the fact that his mother was responsible. Tani just needed to see him. To reassure him. To reforge the connection that was still there but had faded to a faint throb rather than the pulsing static buzz that had existed between them previously.

  She registered his presence the moment he entered the arena. Not just because the cheers of the crowd were so loud the roof was nearly elevated from the force of their cries but because of the sudden quickening of her pulse and the mad dash of blood through her veins. He was escorted by a large contingent of shedu guards and accompanying warloki who were frantically chanting whatever suppression or shielding spells were needed to keep him from shifting and ensure the safety of the crowd. Tani could barely make out anything other than his dark head until they reached the center of the space and finally he came into view. The escort parted to leave Jaro standing alone. He was breathtaking. Tani was not alone in her awe at the sight of him, a ripple of gasps spreading through the crowd in admiration of the warrior standing before them.

  Jaro as always stood proud, a defiant rock in the midst of a swirling sea of sycophants. He was dissension, the thorn in Phenex’s side. The one man who dared to defy his overlord time and time again. Phenex knew it. All of Serpens knew it. Tani’s blood heated as she drank in her first sight of him in days, his athletic frame taut, a coiled spring ready to unravel at a moment’s notice. He was barefoot and wore nothing but a loincloth, his skin a sun-kissed caramel glistening with the oils warriors used to accentuate their muscular attributes. And his were utter perfection. Corded ridges defined abdominals that Tani knew from experience were rock hard. The delicious V where hips met groin leading to muscled thighs, curved with contours that spoke of hours of training. His broad chest cut by chiseled pectorals and arms that held strength that could not only cause damage but were also a haven of safety. Fists clenched, lines straining his forearms, his warrior blood seeping from every pore. Phenex had allowed him no weapon, his barghesti form to be his only ammunition in this fight.

  Her eyes were drawn to his face and what she found there was pure darkness. The seething hatred she had encountered the first time she saw him in the battles had multiplied a thousandfold. Tani struggled against the waves of anger rolling off him to grasp fraying threads and sought to forge a connection that had once seemed so strong. His resistance was a battering ram to her soul. He lashed out in fury and shredded her to pieces. She could only imagine what he must be thinking. Did he blame her for Lorcan’s death? Did he think she was at Phenex’s side willingly? Tani tried to soothe his pain with her comforting embrace but to no avail. Jaro stood impenetrable before her. Fear gnawed her heart as she realized what Jaro meant to do. He was resolved to win this fight and in doing so he would die.

  Jaro tried to control his anger, knowing this would be his only chance to succeed in his quest for vengeance. His only chance to pay Phenex back for the years of torture he had inflicted, not just on him but on thousands of innocents who were also tied to him through the bonds of slavery. The urge to transform roared to life, urgent and explosive. Damn Phenex! Jaro was a performing animal, a pet on a leash. If this was to be the remainder of his existence then he would make sure it was a short one by making sure he took Phenex down. Death could not be worse than the hell he was in now.

  No matter how much he tried to focus his fury, his never-ending rage—there was always something within, buried deep that surfaced—a compassion that led him to lay himself bare for others. The masochistic vein of pity that cast him as a sacrificial lamb. He had done the same thing time and time again. He remembered Tyr Bellor and his woman. He should have killed them both but that spark in his gut would not allow it and he had been punished for it. Other faces scrolled through his memory as other recollections of times when he should have focused on himself instead of others came into view. Damn it! He was a world-class idiot but this ultimate sacrifice was worth it. Phenex could not be allowed to continue his reign of terror.

  A whisper of satin caressed his soul. It was her. Sitting at Phenex’s right hand, her position announcing to all and sundry that she was now his favored whore. She couldn’t have betrayed him. Could she? His brother was dead, his mother accused of the murder and she was rewarded with Phenex’s hand. The whole of Serpens knew she was to be his bride. No. She was the only truth in his existence. The sight of her with his master, pure torture. He wanted to believe she had been coerced into this position, that what he thought he’d seen that night was an illusion. That she hadn’t fucked his brother. She was still trying to offer him her blanket of compassion and love. His soul clawed at the silky embrace, howling that her deception was a lie. His wanted to grab her and never let her go. He hated that she made him feel this way. The best he could do was to save her from Phenex but for her freedom he would sacrifice his life.

  Phenex stood before him and waved the crowd to silence. He wore full armor, a leather cuirass breastplate bearing his sigil of a double-headed serpent twisting a knot around a sword. Vambraces and greaves protecting his arms and legs, he carried a spear, sword and shield. It seemed Jaro’s adversary was taking no chances. This was reinforced moments later when two warloki approached Jaro, one chanting spells to keep him immobile. Jaro fought their magick but it was too strong. As he struggled in vain, the other warloki encased his ankle in a metal cuff with a length of chain that led to a stake in the middle of the arena. The crowd roared when they saw what was happening but whether their clamoring expressed their disapproval for the restriction, Jaro couldn’t be sure. Phenex would deny him any advantage, but his handicapping of Jaro revealed only his fear.

  He looked toward his opponent. Phenex had his spear in hand overhead, commanding the spectators to silence for the start of the battle. Once the crowd had quieted, he spun to face Jaro, his expression one of arrogance and superiority.

  “Let’s see how this dog fights!” His cry reverberated around the arena, whipping the already electric atmosphere to a static high. The crowd echoed Phenex’s roar but Jaro’s attention was focused only on the one spectator who mattered. Even though he had previously rejected her attempts to fix the threads of their connection, they were still there, fragile and frayed and almost at the breaking point. But not broken yet. It was as if neither one of them was willing to let go, both clinging to something that had been doomed
from the very beginning. Love and Hate. Millimeters separating one from the other but those millimeters were a great wall. Solid and impenetrable.

  Jaro’s control was stretched tight. He didn’t know if he could contain the violence that seethed beneath his skin, threatening to break the surface. Heat spread through veins that bubbled, his blood hot lava thick with rage. He could see her agitation. She was scared, as she should be. She had driven him to this. For her he would become a monster. A black curtain shrouded his vision, crimson splashes erupted, the beast inside spinning out of control.

  Before Phenex could give the order to lift the suppression spell, a commotion at the entrance to arena drew the crowd’s attention. A contingent of shedu, Phenex’s personal guard, charged forward, seeking their overlord. “My Lord Phenex!” The leader’s voice held the crowd’s disappointment at bay. It was obvious his news was momentous. “Belial’s army is approaching the city, five thousand strong and more on the way.” Those words caused a tsunami, the crowd surging as fear and panic spread.

  Phenex’s expression was one of shock. A fragile truce had existed between the two warlords but was apparently no match for the hatred that lay between them. Belial’s recent humiliation and failed kidnapping of Tanith Laska had given him the impetus to strike. He wanted retribution.

  Jaro watched the ensuing pandemonium from the center of the arena. He alone remained still while all around him spun in motion. Phenex was barking orders, the spectators scrambling to leave and return to their homes. With Belial’s army at their door, a barghesti fight was of little importance. He was forgotten. But not by all. His gaze locked on to the redhead as hers locked on to his. For a brief moment he felt his soul, all his years of existence solidify and fuse with the vibrancy that was this woman. She was the spark, the catalyst, his raison d’être. The commotion ceased to exist and his only reality was her. He saw her move forward, as if she were considering running to him and his heart swelled with that foreign emotion that kept tantalizing his mind. Hope.

  But hope was dashed when he watched her falter and turn to Phenex. Reality broke the spell and he flinched, anticipating a fresh betrayal. At the same time he felt a lightness in his cells as pressure lifted and he realized Phenex’s warloki must be distracted. Their suppression spells were weakening and his body began to take back control. This was it. His chance to shift. The barghesti inside howled in triumph. He would kill Phenex and then it would be over. He would die and she would be lost to him. Jaro’s eyes focused on his prey.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Retribution

  The palace was in uproar. The news that Belial’s army was on their doorstep with Belial’s men poised to attack had caused widespread panic that Tani understood only too well. But for her it was a relief. There would be no battle in the arena. Jaro was safe for now. He was alive and she could still save him.

  Ignoring the surrounding chaos, Tani’s gaze was drawn inexorably to Jaro’s dark scowl. It was clear he thought she had betrayed him but she had to try to break through his resistance to try to retie the tangled, broken threads that still lay between them. Intensity and anger rolled off him, so strong that the impulse to go to him and soothe his rage had her feet moving in his direction. Then she stopped as she realized she couldn’t. Her priority was Phenex and her best chance of success was to attack him now, while he was under pressure. She was a warrior of the Eunomi and would vanquish him in a fair fight but she knew Phenex was strong and likely to fight dirty. So the chaotic circumstances would be to her advantage.

  Tani made her way to Phenex’s side and waited while he instructed his commanders to deploy his men as well as every able-bodied man, woman and child in the city. Phenex would use all his slaves as cannon fodder, even those untrained in fighting. Before she could decide how to go about challenging Phenex, a loud roar thundered across the arena, earsplitting and earthshattering, it was a sound Tani had heard before. In the center of the arena a transformation was taking place. The suppression spells must have lifted and Jaro was shifting! Her heart pounded as a fresh wave of panic surged from those who had remained in the arena when they saw Jaro’s barghesti form take shape. Seconds later and the shift was complete.

  The arena seemed to shrink as Jaro, fully shifted into a huge black barghesti, howled to the heavens, swirling silver eyes locking on to his prey. He charged forward and all Tani could do was watch mesmerized by the sheer power and fluid elegance of the beast Jaro had become. Beside her, Phenex stood frozen, his expression one of extreme fear. It seemed Phenex was all swagger and bluster. He hadn’t expected to be at a disadvantage before Jaro and his true colors were now on display. And it appeared they were bright yellow.

  The barghesti that was bearing down on him suddenly reared back, roaring in pain, tugging at his back leg, halted in his tracks by the restriction of the ankle chain. His bark of anger thundered around the now nearly empty space, his jaws snapping in frustration. He lunged forward again, pulling at his bonds. Standing next to Tani, Phenex breathed an audible sigh of relief and was just about to make good his escape when the grating sound of metal against metal caused them both to turn back. The metal stake holding Jaro back was bending as the chain rubbed against its length. A loud snapping sound and it was broken, the strength of Jaro’s barghesti form too much for a spike of rusty metal. He lunged forward again with a howl of triumph.

  Tani could only do what instinct dictated. She knew that if Jaro killed Phenex the slavery oath he had sworn would mean his death two minutes later. She had to stop him. Every cell in her body attuned to ensuring Jaro’s survival, she put herself in between the barghesti and Phenex, closed her eyes and braced for impact.

  Heat warmed her face and she breathed in his scent. Tani’s lids fluttered open, her heart beating so hard she thought it might explode. She was confronted by two mercury pools of silver flaring in anger and slavering jaws that snarled at her in fury. She had stopped him in his tracks, keeping Phenex alive, but in making that choice she had stirred Jaro’s rage. Hate crashed through her, biting chunks of her flesh and shredding her soul to pieces. She had never seen Jaro so enraged, so full of hatred. All his emotions were poised on the sharp point of a spear and it was aimed straight at her heart.

  Jaro couldn’t believe it. Phenex had been in his sights, he was all set to grind the bastard into dust and then Red barged in front him. She had protected Phenex from justice and thwarted his chance for retribution. Chaos damn her to the abyss! He growled at her, baring his teeth, enraged by yet another betrayal. Did she not understand that he was trying to save her? His jaws snapped and she flinched but she didn’t move aside, only her hand rose as if to touch the dark shaggy hair of his snout and even angry as he was, it was all he could do not to nuzzle into the warmth of her palm and lick the sweet salt of her skin.

  “Don’t,” she whispered. “I’ve got this.” Before he knew it, she turned and ran to his master who was calling for her to follow and they both disappeared up the spiral staircase that he knew exited into the sprawling alleyways of the ghetto. Phenex’s escape route was too tight a fit for a barghesti Jaro’s size. He howled with disgust, realizing he could follow only if he shifted. That was fine. He would rather fight Phenex face-to-face, man-to-man than fight as a dog.

  It took Jaro a few moments to shift back and when he’d done so, he cursed, realizing his nakedness. He needed clothes and he needed weapons. The arena was all but deserted, the few stragglers cowering in the shadows mainly female slaves and old men. He could feel their fear. Belial the Bloody was known to be ruthless to those he conquered. If he managed to take Serpens, it would be a massacre. Jaro’s gut clenched as he thought of Sami, Liana and his other friends in the ghetto. Alone and defenseless, they would be sitting ducks, wide open to rape and pillage. He cursed and headed for the weapons room that served the gladiators of the arena.

  Kitted out in black combat pants and leather breastplate, knives sheathed and sword in hand, Jaro took the staircase up to ground level. The
street was empty but sounds of battle assaulted his ears. Belial was laying siege to the city. Jaro turned toward the main gate, assuming Phenex had gone that way when his sensitive nose caught his master’s scent. Surprised, he realized Phenex had gone toward the palace, away from the arena, the gate and the siege. What game was he playing? It looked as though Phenex sought to oversee the battle from the relative safety of a more fortified structure. The coward!

  Jaro was torn. He sniffed again, his barghesti senses catching the redhead’s succulent scent. Tani had also followed Phenex and that was all he needed to know. Why had she gone with him? The urge to kill Phenex was too great to ignore. Jaro was all set to stride in the direction they had gone when a loud voice shouting his name stopped him in his tracks.

  “Rodach, you bastard! Get back here!”

  Jaro turned slowly, ready to give Tyr Bellor hell. Unfortunately the warrior was not alone. He had a squadron of at least fifty Eunomi at his back and a determined expression on his face. “Where are you going, Rodach?” Bellor drew close until they were practically nose to nose.

  “What’s it to you, Bellor? I’m not one of your men.” He turned to walk away.

  Tyr Bellor circled around, blocking his path. “You’re going the wrong way. The fight is in the other direction.”

  “I need to find Phenex.” Jaro growled at the warrior and tried to push past him. Bellor was a rock and wouldn’t back down. He shoved him back. “You need to help us protect the city.” Jaro ground his teeth in frustration. “Why? Why in Chaos would I willingly help you, Phenex or this city?”

  “Because if what I know about you is true—you care—and because you know it’s the right thing to do.” Bellor’s black eyes challenged him to deny it. Jaro clenched his sword and drew in a deep frustrated breath.