FeelingtheBuzz

by Shelley Munro

  “I could have gone home, you know. You didn’t have to kidnap me.”

  “Maybe I was lonely and wanted some company.”

  “Humph!”

  “I’m not like Wayne,” Sebastian said. “After the divorce—never mind. Do you want a drink of something? Orange juice or water.”

  “Give me alcohol. I’ll take a beer,” Jen said.

  Sebastian returned to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of beer. He opened them both and handed one to Jen. Bemused, he watched her drink. His ex wouldn’t have been seen dead holding a beer, let alone drinking one. He took a swallow of his before setting it aside and starting to chop an onion. “What else is on your to-do list? Maybe I could help.”

  “You don’t have to help me. I’ve been looking after myself for a long time now.”

  Sebastian paused with the knife action. “Did you ever think that I might be at a loose end and would like to fill my time helping a friend?”

  “What about your women and the revolving door on your bedroom?”

  Sebastian crushed a clove of garlic with the flat of his knife, disposed of the paperlike covering and started to chop it into small dice. If only she knew. “That’s Wayne’s bedroom, not mine.”

  “Don’t tell fibs. I’ve seen you with lots of different women.”

  “That doesn’t mean I sleep with them all.” Silent questions floated in the air, and he could feel her gaze drilling into his back as he turned away.

  “Your ex-wife hurt you,” she said finally.

  “There were faults on both sides.”

  “What sort of faults?”

  She was being nosy, but he knew nothing he said would emerge on the Sloan gossip web. “We shouldn’t have married in the first place. You know my parents died when I was three years old?”

  “Yeah, I know you and Wayne met in foster care when you were five.”

  “I thought I could make a home with Veronica. A life. But it turned out we wanted different things.”

  “A home takes work. It’s not just a house. It’s the people and the love they have for each other that makes a home.” Her voice held warmth and empathy. It twisted through him, taking root in an unused portion of his heart. Why hadn’t he met someone like Jen when he’d needed it most?

  “Wise words.” He kept his attention on the mushrooms he was slicing. “I wish I’d realized that back then.”

  “What are you going to do now?”

  Sebastian knew she wasn’t talking about cooking the piece of salmon he’d unwrapped. He paused, trying not to flinch at the thought of the long road of nothingness that stretched before him.

  “I don’t know.” The truth emerged before he could think up some bullshit answer. He couldn’t stay with Wayne forever. For his sanity’s sake, he’d leave. Wayne said he didn’t mind Sebastian crashing at his place, but he had to move on, and soon, before he did something stupid to sever their long-time friendship. “We’ve got a lot of work lined up. We’ll be busy until at least the end of the year.”

  “Hmm,” Jen said. “Which way is the toilet?”

  “Through that door, second on the right.”

  She nodded and he watched her walk from the kitchen, sensing he’d disappointed her with his answer. The truth was he didn’t have a clue. Work filled his days and some of his weekends, and since his divorce, he’d played hard during his downtime, dating lots of women. Sleeping with a few of them. It had gotten old fast.

  Sebastian put on a pot of water to boil for the pasta and started to fry the onion and mushrooms.

  “Which room is yours?”

  Sebastian looked up. “Someone’s been snooping.”

  “Yeah.” She smirked as she slid onto the stool again. “I had to check out the famous revolving doors.”

  “Guess.”

  “Well, Wayne is the messy one, but both rooms are tidy.” She scanned his face, her gaze like a physical touch. His breath caught at the unfamiliar sensations coursing through him. Happiness. Confusion because the feeling was so foreign.

  “Mrs. Partington does some cleaning for Wayne once a week. She normally comes on Friday but this week she came yesterday, which is why Wayne’s room is still relatively tidy.”

  Jen nodded. “I didn’t know you liked to read.”

  “Good guess.” A large bookcase filled one wall of his bedroom, and it was crammed full of books.

  “How do you like the ereader?”

  His brows rose. “You did snoop.”

  “Answer my question. I was thinking of getting one.”

  “I tend to buy more ebooks these days. There’s a big selection available and I don’t need to worry about storage.”

  “What do you read?”

  “Just about anything. Go and get my ereader and try it out.”

  “Thanks!” Jen beamed and jumped off the stool. She returned moments later and perched at the breakfast bar, muttering a little when she forgot and tried to use her right hand. “Oh my god. You’re reading an erotic romance.”

  “It was free.” And it was actually quite good.

  “A threesome. Kinky.”

  “Do you think three people can have a relationship?” The question popped out before he could curtail the thought.

  Her head jerked up, her eyes rounding as she stared at him. “It works in stories.”

  “Yes.” Wow, that was a real smooth introduction. Exactly why I should leave this stuff to Wayne. Shock followed swiftly. What? Was he actually considering Wayne’s crazy idea?

  “Gaby, Liam and Fletch seem happy.”

  “You haven’t answered my question.”

  Heat suffused her cheeks, and she couldn’t meet his intense gaze any longer. She focused on the ereader’s screen. “I’m too busy for romance.”

  “Coward.”

  She looked at him then, searching his expression, trying to work out what he wanted from her. Was he suggesting a threesome? Or was it a random question because of the story he was reading at present? “I think it takes three very special people to have that sort of relationship. There’s a lot of trust involved, and I think it would be easy for jealousy to creep into the equation. Gaby says open communication is the key.”

  “Could you?” Damn, one strike already. According to his ex, he sucked at expressing his feelings.

  “Is this about last night?” She waited impatiently while Sebastian added the penne to the boiling water. “About Wayne wanting me to come here with both of you?” She’d felt so safe when she’d stood between them, pleasure gripping her body. It had been nice to lean on someone else for a change. Her blush intensified but she forced herself to scrutinize him, to watch every flicker of expression.

  “It’s difficult enough trying to keep one person happy, let alone two.”

  “But you’d have two people to share your troubles.”

  He forced a grin. “Two people to kiss and caress you.”

  Jen frowned at him, fiddled with the label of her beer bottle. “Would you really do it? Have sex with two people at once?”

  Sebastian took the vegetables off the heat and added a salmon fillet to the pan. It sizzled as the skin met the hot surface. “Permanently?” He turned to her with a shrug. “It would depend on the circumstances and the people involved. I’d have to trust them.”

  “So you’d go into the situation after thinking it through. It wouldn’t be impulsive for you.”

  “I like sex as much as the next guy. I’ve had sex since my divorce but the connection is only fleeting. I want more.” Pain flickered in him as he said the words and her heart twisted. Here was a guy who wanted marriage and probably fatherhood, yet his wife had screwed him. Most women would kill for a man who wanted to settle down and grow roots. It was a pity they were at different stages in their lives, because men like Sebastian were rare.

  Jen picked up her beer and swallowed the last of the liquid in the bottle. “Would you choose two women or would you want a man and a woman?”

  “I’ve had one three
some and that was with Wayne and a woman.”

  “Who?” Nosy interest slipped the question out before she could button her lips.

  “The who isn’t important.”

  He didn’t intend to tell her. Tick on the approval rating. “Did you talk the encounter to death before you did anything?”

  He flipped the salmon, his snort sounding over the renewed sizzle of the pan. “No we did not. We all drank too much and things developed from there.”

  “Are you still friends with the woman?”

  “We don’t see her much these days. In the light of the day, she wasn’t very comfortable with the three-way. She accused us of getting her drunk on purpose.”

  “Did you?”

  “What’s with all the questions?”

  “I like to know what makes people tick. This isn’t work, so I can be as interested as I want. So did you ply her with alcohol?”

  “Do you think that’s something either Wayne or I would do? Do you?” His voice rose toward the end of his sentence, and he waved his spatula in time with his abrupt words.

  “There’s no need to get defensive.”

  “Anyone I sleep with knows the score ahead of time.” His level look drove the point home. “And I don’t need to get them drunk. What sort of books do you like to read?”

  Jen accepted the change of subject even though she wanted to ask more nosy questions. “I like mysteries and thrillers. Romance is okay, but I like to have a mystery angle combined with the romance. I doubt I’ll have much time to read for pleasure once school starts.”

  “Are you nervous?”

  “Not yet. I probably will be when I walk into the classroom for the first time.”

  Sebastian handed her another beer. “You’ll be fine once you settle in, although I’m glad it’s not me. I hated school.”

  “Why?”

  “I lived in a foster home. That made me stand out.”

  Jen laughed out loud. “Don’t tell me about different. I’m nervous enough about joining class.”

  “Ah, but you’re choosing to go to school. I only went to eat my lunch. Would you like to have a glass of wine with your dinner?”

  Obviously another touchy subject, one she couldn’t let pass. “You’re not stupid, Sebastian. You and Wayne have built up a successful business. That takes brains and initiative.”

  He snorted. “You didn’t see the comments on my school report. Have you seen any good movies lately?”

  “No, I’ve been concentrating on getting everything shipshape at home. It’s such a big house to look after on my own. I’ve been thinking about selling and buying something smaller.”

  “But?”

  “Alexanders have lived there for four generations. Mum inherited it from her parents when they died, and it’s full of memories of my mother and my childhood. I don’t know. My head tells me selling is a good idea while my heart sings a different tune.”

  Sebastian flaked the salmon and added it to the drained pasta. Fascinated, Jen watched him put the dish together and garnish it with fresh basil. He made it look effortless, and watching him did something to her, made her see him differently. No, that wasn’t quite the truth. The change had occurred last night when he’d held her so tenderly and kissed her neck while she’d fallen apart at the seams.

  He was a good man even if he didn’t see himself that way.

  “If you need help to do anything around the house, let me know. Okay?”

  She nodded, silently placating him even though she had no intention of asking for help.

  “Verbal agreement,” he said with a meaningful rise of eyebrows.

  “Yes,” she said crossly.

  “Good.” Sebastian set out placemats and cutlery at the breakfast bar. “I think we’ll drink Wayne’s bottle of wine with our dinner. Here, take these.” He handed her a bowl of pasta and she winced a bit at the throb of pain in her hand.

  A few minutes later, Sebastian took the seat opposite her.

  Jen swallowed a mouthful of the pasta. “This is delicious.”

  “You sound surprised.”

  “I am. None of the men I’ve dated could cook.”

  “I used to hide out in the kitchens at the foster home. The cook said if I stayed there I had to work.”

  “Hide out?”

  “I was small as a kid. The other kids picked on me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Why?” Sebastian sounded surprised. “There’s always a pecking order amongst kids. Besides, Wayne stuck up for me.”

  Conversation meandered after that, and they didn’t touch on anything too personal again. Sebastian opened another bottle of wine, and after doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen together, they settled down in front of the TV. They both sat on the couch, their shoulders and legs touching.

  “If I didn’t know better I’d think you intended to seduce me,” Jen said, feeling surprisingly comfortable.

  “Because I’ve been plying you with alcohol?”

  “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

  “I didn’t force you to drink. For all I know you might intend to jump me.” His eyes glowed with suppressed humor, his large frame more relaxed than normal. “What would you like to watch? Rom-com or action movie?”

  “Action movie,” she said.

  Sebastian pushed a few buttons and placed his arm around her shoulders, drawing her nearer.

  “Is that your best seduction move?”

  “Nope. I was feeling cold.”

  Jen grinned. “Liar.”

  “Shush, the movie’s starting.”

  Disinclined to move, she cuddled against him and concentrated on the movie. His scent wrapped around her while his warmth soaked into her side. Fully relaxed, physical tiredness claimed her. Her eyelids kept falling shut and finally she gave up the fight and slept.

  When the closing credits of the movie started, Sebastian carefully separated himself from Jen and stood. She didn’t wake when he picked her up and carried her down the passage to his room. After managing to pull back the covers with one hand, he set her down gently. She murmured something unintelligible when he removed her shoes, but still didn’t wake. He was tempted to join her but didn’t. Wayne wanted her, and he couldn’t make a move on Jen or do anything that might upset Wayne.

  Loving Wayne the way he did meant it wouldn’t be fair of Sebastian to take his friendship with Jen any further. No, it would be best if he left her to sleep in his bed. Alone.

  A quick glance at his watch confirmed the lateness of the hour. Wayne had obviously decided to spend the night with his parents. He’d spend the night in Wayne’s bed. Wayne wouldn’t mind.

  Chapter Four

  “Sebastian!”

  Sebastian grunted, rolling over to avoid another elbow to the ribs. “Damn it, Wayne.” His voice was gritty with sleep, but he came awake quickly with a half-naked Wayne leaning over him. The darkness of the room made his other senses pop, and he could smell Wayne’s aftershave and the soap they used in the shower. “Do you have to shake me?”

  “Why are you in my bed? You have a perfectly good one in your room.”

  “Jen’s using it. She stayed for dinner and went to sleep while we were watching a movie. It’s cold. Put the covers back.”

  Wayne ignored his request. “Dude, why aren’t you in there with her? You’re missing a perfect chance to make a move on her.”

  “Not when I know you’re interested in her.”

  “I told you last night. Both of us should go after her.”

  “For a little fun? I don’t want fun.” Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut at the pain knifing him in the chest. “I want a relationship with someone who cares for me. Me. Not the possessions I bring to the table.”

  “Shift over.” Wayne slid onto the bed, and pulled the covers back into place.

  Sebastian froze, his breath catching when Wayne pressed his cold body against his back. “Snuggling?”

  Wayne chuckled, not embarrassed in the least. “Y
ou’re warm. We could have something special with Jen. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”

  “Man, I know you’re the idea person in our business, but have you thought this through? Say we go ahead. You know some of what Fletch and Liam went through when they hooked up with Gaby. Do you want that for Jen? People abusing her in public? And what about your family? Surely they wouldn’t approve?”

  Wayne’s adopted family was brilliant, but he didn’t think they’d feel comfortable about Wayne sharing a woman. They held traditional values. Not that there was anything wrong with that.

  Sebastian took a shallow breath and tried to ignore Wayne’s solid chest at his back. “Besides, Jen and I discussed threesomes over dinner. We both decided there was potential for pain. I don’t want to lose your friendship.”

  “Don’t be silly.” Wayne’s warm breath blew across his ear.

  Gooseflesh pebbled on Sebastian’s arms and legs. Move your mouth a little lower. Self-loathing followed swiftly, and he burst into speech. “All I’m saying is you can’t just decide something like this. Not when it has the potential to blow up in our faces.”

  “Ah, so you are considering my suggestion.”

  “Jen intends to focus on her studies. Besides, there’s one thing you haven’t mentioned. What about you and me? We’ll touch. Three sets of hands and mouths get confusing. Could you handle me kissing you? Getting that up close and personal?” Bloody hell! He’d definitely drunk too much tonight. He hadn’t meant to blurt out stuff like that.

  There was a long pause and Sebastian’s mouth twisted. Yeah, exactly what he’d thought. Introduce a little bit of gayness to the conversation and Wayne clearly hesitated.

  “Do you think Fletch and Liam fuck each other?”

  Sebastian grunted and rolled over to face Wayne. Not that he could see much in the dark. “That’s none of our business, but they do seem comfortable together.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Wayne said. “You’d better go back to your own bed. I’m sure Jen won’t mind once you explain about the couch.”

  Disappointment surged through Sebastian. Of course. Once the conversation became difficult Wayne bailed. Not that he could blame him. Most other men would do the same. Without another word he rolled off the bed and left. His bed was a king. He could get some sleep and not even touch Jen.