FeelingtheBuzz

by Shelley Munro

  He returned to the kitchen, and sent Wayne a text to let him know Jen was sleeping.

  As he tidied the kitchen and checked through the mail for the day, he realized this was the first time he’d been alone for ages. He paused, tensing a fraction. The black dog of depression hadn’t stalked him for months, not since he’d hooked up with Jen and Wayne. Even now a sense of happiness filled him, a belief in the future. He was building a family, no matter how unconventional. Now he fit in a way he never had before. He belonged, and the feeling was all he’d hoped it would be during his lonely years of growing up without a family.

  * * * * *

  “When are we going to meet your girlfriend? Bring her to your father’s birthday party next week.” Wayne’s mother beamed. “She sounds like a lovely girl. Gerrard talks about her all the time.”

  Alarm stirred in the pit of Wayne’s stomach. He didn’t think introducing Jen to his mother was a good idea. And what about Sebastian? The last thing he wanted to do was push Seb into the background. “I don’t know. I—”

  “I want to meet the woman who has put the sparkle in your eyes,” his mother said firmly. “She has been such a good influence on Gerrard and his friends. You invite her. I expect to meet her the Sunday after next.”

  “Sure, Mum.” Wayne gave up trying to argue. “Can Sebastian come too?”

  “As long as he doesn’t bring one of those dreadful girls.”

  Irritation started a slow simmer, and he bit back a retort. As much as he loved his mother, she’d never been more than lukewarm toward Sebastian. He could never figure out why, although he’d noted his mother’s approval rating was higher with friends who had Maori or Island ancestors. Certainly all his adopted brothers and sisters bore Maori blood. “Sebastian won’t be bringing a date.”

  Two of his sisters walked into the kitchen. Even though they weren’t blood related, with their long, dark hair and similar heights, they could have passed as twins.

  “Are you bringing the girl that Gerrard keeps talking about?” Marie asked.

  Janie grinned. “I think Gerrard is half in love with her himself.”

  “I’ll ask her,” Wayne said.

  “Did she grow up in Sloan?” his mother asked.

  “Yes. She’s lived there most of her life.”

  “Wayne, are you coming to help or not?” Gerrard yelled from outside.

  Saved by the bell. “Coming.”

  Gerrard spoiled his demand by sneezing and their mother started muttering about mustard plasters. Wayne wouldn’t mention that Jen had the flu because he’d suffered through a mustard plaster or two while growing up. He wouldn’t want to inflict them on Jen.

  As he drove home Wayne thought about the potential problems of taking Jen and Sebastian to his father’s birthday party. No matter which way he looked at it, introducing his family to the equation was a big mistake. He, Sebastian and Jen were starting to gel into a unit.

  Hell, Jen was still talking about moving to Auckland next year.

  Leaving them.

  The welcoming lights gleaming from the house eased some of the tension in him. He strode inside, dropping his keys on the counter and heading for the lounge where he heard the low hum of the television.

  “Hey.” Sebastian glanced up and smiled. It seemed natural to kiss him hello and drop onto the couch beside him.

  “How’s Jen?”

  “Still sleeping. I checked on her a few minutes ago. Things okay with your parents?”

  Wayne sighed. “Gerrard told Mum I have a new girlfriend, and she wants to meet Jen. She wants me to take her to Dad’s birthday party.” Wayne searched Sebastian’s face, saw the quick realization in his lover of the problem.

  “Take Jen with you,” Sebastian said. “Introduce her to your family. Your parents will love her.”

  Wayne shook his head, seeing the pain Sebastian was trying to hide. “Mum invited you too.”

  “I won’t be able to touch either you or Jen.”

  Pain wrenched at Wayne, stealing his breath. His chest rose and fell and he couldn’t tear his gaze off Sebastian. “I don’t think my parents are ready for an announcement like that. I don’t like to keep secrets but—”

  “You don’t have to explain. I get it. I’d mostly likely do the same thing if I had a family. Don’t worry about it.”

  But the situation worried Wayne for the rest of the evening. After checking on Jen, he and Sebastian went to bed. They kissed and jerked each other off. Sebastian fell asleep soon after, but Wayne remained wide-eyed for what seemed like hours.

  No matter how he looked at the situation, a ticking bomb came to mind.

  * * * * *

  By Monday, Jen felt better and she drove to school prepared to sit the first of her exams.

  “It wasn’t too bad,” Gerrard said when they met up after leaving the exam room.

  Jen nodded, her stomach roiling without warning. She swallowed rapidly and breathed carefully through her mouth, and luckily the nausea seemed to settle.

  Gerrard let out a huge sneeze, and Justin poked him in the ribs.

  “Damn,” Gerrard muttered. “I thought I’d shaken this stupid flu. If I cough when I get home Mum will make another mustard plaster for me. The cure is way worse than the flu.”

  “Is that what the weird smell is?” Stan asked.

  Justin sniffed. “I can’t smell a thing.”

  “You’re lucky. Think smelly socks and add a bit more,” Stan said.

  “It’s not that bad,” Jen said. “Anyone want a drink at the canteen? My shout.” Maybe a ginger beer would settle her stomach.

  It helped a little and she managed to get through her next exam—chemistry. But on the drive home she had to pull over. She barely got the door open before she vomited.

  She groped for her water bottle and swished some water around her mouth. “Damn flu.”

  Jen drove the rest of the way home without mishap. At least she could sleep in a little tomorrow before she started.

  * * * * *

  One week later

  Jen sucked in a harsh breath as she fought the nausea tap-dancing through her stomach. She stared into the toilet bowl, helpless as the queasiness rose up and burst from her throat. Her shoulders shook with the force of the convulsions, her throat raw by the time she stopped dry-heaving.

  A truth slid into her brain. This wasn’t the flu. This was much more.

  She was pregnant.

  It was the only realistic answer because women didn’t go around chucking up for no reason at all.

  Satisfied she’d finished throwing up, she dragged herself over to the hand basin and washed her hands and face. Pregnant. She’d ring the doctors’ surgery for an appointment—no. A pregnancy kit from the chemist would give her an answer and keep the matter a little more private.

  Besides, she needed to go to school this morning. It was just lucky that Sebastian and Wayne were starting work so early and hadn’t twigged to her constant vomiting yet.

  Foregoing breakfast in favor of some dry crackers, she packed her books for school and headed out. On automatic pilot, she got through the day, and on the way home from school, she stopped at the chemist. Ignoring the speculative glance from the woman serving at the counter, she shoved the test into her handbag and left.

  Neither Sebastian nor Wayne was at home when she arrived. Thank goodness. This could be a false alarm. She really might have the flu.

  It wasn’t.

  Jen stared at the stick. The result read positive.

  Tears started rolling down her face. One after another, they plopped onto her arm. This was going to screw up all her plans for the future.

  Chapter Twelve

  God. Crying wasn’t going to solve a thing. Jen swiped her hand over her eyes and searched through her handbag for some tissues.

  “Jen. Are you home?” Sebastian burst into the kitchen. He took one look at her and strode over. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I’m pregnant.” God, even sayi
ng it out loud didn’t make it sound any better. “Sebastian, I can’t have a baby.”

  Sebastian stood frozen, staring at her as if she sported a pair of horns. Typical.

  Jen turned away, intending to retreat to her bedroom.

  Sebastian’s hand shot out. “Pregnant?”

  “Yes, so the test says.”

  “But how?”

  A sharp laugh exploded from her. “Surely you’ve worked out the how by now?”

  “Damn.” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. It’s a bit of a shock.”

  “No kidding!” Another of those stupid tears escaped and she scrubbed at it impatiently.

  “Jen, come here.”

  He opened his arms, and she stumbled into them, the tears falling faster now. She hadn’t had time to think about how Sebastian and Wayne would react because she’d been too busy thinking about the upset to her long-term plans. At least Sebastian wasn’t angry or wasn’t trying to blame her.

  “What am I going to do?”

  “Don’t worry,” Sebastian whispered against her hair. “We’ll sort something out when Wayne gets home.”

  “But I won’t be able to go to varsity,” she wailed.

  “Shh, don’t worry about that right now.” He kissed her neck and held her tighter.

  But Sebastian didn’t understand. She’d promised her mother. Her attendance at university was for both of them. And as much as she’d loved her mother, she didn’t want to relive her life, bringing up a child on her own and working all hours of the day to pay the bills.

  “Jen, Wayne and I aren’t going to leave you to struggle alone. Surely you know us well enough to understand that.”

  She pushed away from Sebastian to look up at him. “Sorry. I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud.”

  “You were lumping us into the same category as Giles,” Sebastian accused.

  “Sorry. I’m still in full panic flight.”

  “A baby might not be ideal, but it’s not the end of everything between us,” Sebastian said. “If anything a baby will make us into a tighter unit.”

  “You’re pleased,” she said, her voice flat.

  “Excited,” he said. “But I can understand how you feel too. We’ll talk when Wayne gets home, make a plan. I’m sure we can think of something to make a baby work for all of us.”

  Jen sniffed. “I don’t see how.”

  “Ye of little faith.” Sebastian tipped up her chin with one forefinger and kissed her on the lips.

  At first she didn’t respond, but he deepened the kiss, taking it from sweet and tender to something deeper and more personal. He showed her with touch how much he cared until she could do nothing but hold on and kiss him back. Sweet. So sweet and compassionate. Warmth swelled inside her until her entire body hummed with pleasure and all she could think about was Sebastian filling her, fucking her. No! Making love to her. This was definitely lovemaking rather than plain old sex.

  Sebastian’s hands smoothed down her back to cup her butt and hold her against him. When he lifted her, the ridge of his cock slotted neatly right where she needed it. A soft mewl of desire whispered from her as she started to fully participate. Their lips slid together and she rubbed against him, trying to get a closer contact.

  “What are you doing?”

  Jen and Sebastian jerked apart, shocked out of their romantic bubble.

  “You’re playing around with Sebastian behind Wayne’s back.” Gerrard’s jaw worked, anger distorting his face. “I thought you were his friend.” He shook his head, betrayal glimmering in his eyes. “And you—” He cut off abruptly and stomped out of the kitchen. A door slammed and when Jen strained to hear she caught the faint grumble of a car starting.

  “Fuck,” Sebastian said.

  “We weren’t doing anything wrong.”

  “It doesn’t matter. What happens if he tells everyone?”

  “Wayne will sort it out.”

  “Like you’re both going to fix my pregnancy?” Jen asked, and the tears started flowing again. “I think I’ll go and have a shower.”

  “Do you want me to scrub your back?”

  “I want to be alone.”

  Sebastian nodded and clenched his hands to fists to avoid reaching for her. She looked like a wounded animal, and he felt bad because he wanted to scream his joy to the world. Hell, he didn’t even know if he was the father, and he didn’t care.

  The warm sensation in his chest grew bigger and bigger, and his smile expanded so much his mouth ached with the joy of it. A family.

  He heard a vehicle pull up and hurried to the door, recognizing the roar of the engine. He opened the door and stood in the doorway waiting for Wayne.

  “Good news. Bad news,” he burst out. “Which do you want first?”

  “Good. Maybe it will improve my shitty day.”

  Sebastian’s gaze arrowed in on Wayne’s T-shirt. “Is that blood? Are you hurt?”

  “No, Tommy cut his hand. I had to take him to the doctor. He’s okay but he’s gonna be off work for a while.”

  “Fuck.” Tommy was one of their most experienced workers.

  “Yeah, so I could do with some good news.”

  “Jen’s pregnant,” Sebastian burst out.

  “The bad news?”

  “Jen was a bit upset, and Gerrard walked in on us. He thinks Jen is cheating with me.”

  “Fuck,” Wayne muttered. “I need a drink.”

  “A beer?”

  “Nah, break out the strong stuff so I can start working on a hangover.”

  “Aren’t you pleased about the baby?” How could Wayne not be excited?

  “I expect Jen isn’t pleased. A baby will spoil her plans for her education. Is she going to keep it?”

  “Keep it?” Sebastian was aware he was gaping at Wayne. He could see his friend’s mouth moving, but he couldn’t hear a thing over the roar in his head. Surely Jen wouldn’t give up her baby? Have an abortion.

  “Sebastian. Sebastian!” Wayne shook him. “Breathe, dammit. Breathe.”

  Sebastian sucked in a huge breath, Wayne’s grip on his biceps helping to ground him, dragging him back from the dark abyss that had opened in his mind. “We need to talk to Jen. She can’t give this baby away.”

  “We will. What did Gerrard say?”

  “I think he intends to talk to you.”

  “Okay. As long as he doesn’t go blabbing all over town we can deal with him. If I ask him to he’ll keep it quiet.”

  “But what about Jen?”

  Wayne gave him a swift hug before pulling back. “We’ll have to talk to her. It’s her body, her future,” Wayne said. “We’ll have to take her wishes into consideration.”

  “You mean you’d let her have an abortion?” Shock rippled through Sebastian, knocking down all his flimsy defenses until he wanted to yell and lash out with his fists. A low, anguished groan escaped him and he wrenched from Wayne’s touch. He had to go. He had to go now before his entire world imploded on him.

  Wayne stared after Sebastian, muttered a curse and headed for the booze. He made short work of his first whisky and poured another. Jen pregnant. That wasn’t such a big problem for him. He’d do anything Jen wanted even if that meant an abortion because it was Jen’s future and well-being that mattered most. Gerrard thinking Sebastian and Jen had betrayed him. That too he could deal with—tomorrow. Gerrard wasn’t a blabbermouth. He wouldn’t do anything until he’d spoken to Wayne. And he would, because Gerrard was fiercely loyal to those he loved. And that left Sebastian.

  Sebastian was the smoking gun in this scenario.

  Wayne sighed, his throat burning as he gulped more whisky when he heard Sebastian’s vehicle peel away from the house. He hoped like hell Sebastian didn’t drive off the road on the way to wherever he was going. Sighing again, he topped up his glass and went in search of Jen.

  The Thirsty Cricketwas busy for a Thursday night, which pissed off Sebastian. He pushed his way to the bar, ordered a beer with a bourbon ch
aser, found an empty seat and settled in to numb his mind. He downed the bourbon and indicated he wanted another. The competent barman filled his order and kept an attentive eye on him for the rest of the evening, refilling his glass when required. Good man.

  Luke Morgan, Sloan’s head cop, came up to the bar with James Bates, one of the owners of Fancy Free, the condom company. “Hey, Sebastian. Come and sit with us. We have a table out the back.”

  “I’m not good company.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” James said.

  Sebastian didn’t miss the silent exchange between the two friends.

  “It’s a woman-free zone,” Luke said. “We’re shooting pool.”

  “Come on,” James said. “We’re losing badly and need someone to help us out.”

  “Speak for yourself. I’m not a crap pool player,” Luke said.

  Sebastian found himself relocating, following in the wake of James as he navigated the crowd on the dance floor. He tripped and staggered, only keeping his feet because Luke grabbed him by the scruff of his T-shirt.

  “Easy there.” Luke didn’t release him until Sebastian took a seat. Beer sloshed from his glass when he set it down, but he didn’t spill a drop of the bourbon.

  “Woman problems?” James asked, taking possession of the opposite seat.

  “Man and woman,” Sebastian blurted before his brain engaged. “Shit.” He shook himself. “Pretend you didn’t hear that.”

  “Hear what?” Luke said.

  Sebastian sank back into the faux leather seat and tried to relax. No amount of even breathing helped to settle the roiling in his gut. He closed his eyes and saw Jen swollen with child. Every muscle in his body tensed. Fuck! He forced his eyes open and stared at his drink instead. “Who are we playing pool against?”

  “Him,” Luke said with a jerk of his thumb in the direction of the tables. “I’d like to knock him on his pretty city-boy ass.”

  “Can’t do that,” James said. “You’re a cop.”

  “Not on duty,” Luke pointed out.

  “Let’s do this.” Sebastian was all for kicking ass. Anything to help settle the angst seething inside him.