by D T Dyllin
“What? Your little spies didn’t garner enough information for you?” I kept walking and didn’t wait for her; she scurried to catch up to me with her much shorter legs. “Which by the way—” I said without looking at her, “—is beyond creepy to have sent a squirrel to spy on me. No wonder everybody thinks Speakers are so weird.” It was a low blow and I knew it. Not many of our kind gave Jenna the time of day, unless they were a guy interested in getting into her pants, and even then that was short lived. Speakers had a reputation on the whole as being weird, and most of our kind steered clear. I, on the other hand, had instantly liked Jenna, mostly because of her quirkiness. I had always admired her for being true to herself and not giving a damn what other people thought… unless that other people happened to be me… as was the case now.
“That was just mean,” she hissed. “I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that, for the sake of our friendship.”
“Just butt out of my business,” I hissed back. “And you better keep your little spies away from me before I invest in a BB gun or something.”
“You wouldn’t.” She sounded completely appalled. “You aren’t that heartless to shoot a poor defenseless little animal.”
I stopped abruptly and glared down at her horrified face. “Try me.” I would never shoot a cute little squirrel no matter how annoying it was, but I was hoping Jenna couldn’t see past my bluff.
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared back at me. I took that as a sign that she wasn’t buying my bluff. Damn Speakers. “If you want me to butt out of your business, then I guess I can stop defending you to everyone at school, and the next time I hear another ugly rumor, I won’t try to set it straight.”
I felt all the blood drain from my face. “What are you talking about? What kind of rumors?”
Jenna’s face softened to something resembling pity. “About you and Bryn, and how he got you pregnant… stuff like that.”
“Oh, God. How does anybody even know anything about me and Bryn?” Maybe school wouldn’t be on my agenda for the day; I didn’t know if I could face everyone if that’s the kind of thing that was being said.
“Well,” Jenna said, “I’m not the only Speaker around here that has little spies. Let’s just say that a certain Miss Tina Sims is enjoying some newfound popularity over the info. she’s been feeding to the masses, even if most of it is bullshit.” Great. Now, when I had a squirrel chilling outside my window, I had to wonder who it was spying for. At least Jenna was just spying for herself; other Speakers obviously had other agendas beyond curiosity.
“Why? Why are people believing her?” I squeaked.
“Oh, P.J., you know why. People love to hear about scandal, especially when it’s about someone like you who everyone thought was a goody goody virgin. And you can’t even deny that something happened, since Bryn has been shipped off and you went M.I.A. at the same time.”
“Oh.” Jenna was right. The Bryn and P.J. rumors were probably the biggest scandal that had hit in a long time. I’d probably never live it down. It was official; my social life was ruined.
We walked the rest of the way to school in silence. Only when the front doors to my new own personal hell loomed in front of us did Jenna speak. “So are you going to tell me who that guy was last night?” I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep a lid on it for very long.
“Fine.” I let out an exasperated breath. “His name is—,” and Khol’s name seemed to stick in my throat. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish trying to say his name but nothing came out. I tried to start over again. “His name is—,” and again I couldn’t utter even a syllable of his name. That’s when I remembered something that Khol had said to me the first time I’d seen him. He said he’d bound me from speaking of him to anyone. Was that what was going on? So, I tried another approach. “He first came to me in the woods, he’s—,” Aaaah! I couldn’t even describe to her what he looked like. “Look Jenna, I wish I could, if only to get you off my back, but I literally can’t. I’m bound to not be able to. In fact, I’m surprised I can even say that much. I can’t even say his name or describe him to you—the words seem to just stick in my throat.”
She eyed me with curiosity. “I can tell that you’re not lying, but I’ve never heard of such a thing. Who bound you?”
“He did.”
“Are you doing it with him now? Did Bryn completely spring you and now that he’s gone you already found yourself another looover?” She drew out the word lover to make it sound completely dirty, which was about par for the course with Jenna.
“No, of course not,” I snapped, “I love Bryn. End of story.”
“Then why were you kissing this other guy?” Jenna raised her eyebrows at me.
“I can’t tell you, but let me just say I didn’t want to be kissing him. The only guy I wanna kiss is Bryn.”
“Hmm,” Jenna grunted.
It was then, as we walked up the front stairs to school, that people began to take notice of me, and whispers seemed to follow in my wake. I kept my eyes straight ahead and pretended I didn’t notice. I so wished Bryn was with me to hold my hand and make me feel better. We pushed through the huge front doors and headed towards the senior hallway. My locker was in my sights when someone grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me to a halt. I found myself looking up into the dark eyes of Eddie Covington; a large Guardian-to-be that also attended our school. He was tall, like all guardians seemed to be, with a rather plain face, and dark brown hair. I guess he could be cute, but next to Bryn he would be lucky if anyone noticed him at all.
“Hey there, P.J.” he said with a smirk. “I heard you have a thing for us lowly Guardians. Now that Bryn’s gone, I was hoping you might be looking to fill his spot.”
“Get your hands off of me.” I shook free of his hand and rubbed my wrist while frowning at him. I didn’t know what else to say, so I simply turned to leave.
Eddie crowded the space in front of me. “Oh, come on P. J., there’s no use in pretending anymore. I have to admit you had us all fooled with your little virginal act.” His dark eyes looked me over from head to toe and he smiled. “Most Seers wouldn’t touch one of us with a ten foot pole and here you’ve been, right under our noses, screwing Bryn the whole time. No wonder he was so protective of you; guess he didn’t want anyone getting their hands on his little prize. Everyone should have known, with you being friends with a slut like her.” He pointedly looked in Jenna’s direction. “And who was the guy in your room this morning? Tina’s already let all of us know about him. Another Guardian maybe—older—teaching you some things—things that maybe I’d be interested in learning.” His hand snaked out and grabbed my wrist again with force. “Come on, P.J., how about showing me what you’re really all about.” His grip tightened almost painfully.
“Get your hands off me, you asshole.” I took a step back from him but he followed. I knew we were in school, and I knew he couldn’t do anything to me here—at least not out in the open, but my mind flashed back to the night at Ryan’s party and the still un-named guy trying to force himself on me. Panic began to bubble up in me just like it had that night, especially because I knew there wouldn’t be any Bryn to come to my rescue this time.
“You heard her—get your hands off her, asshole.” Eddie was abruptly shoved away from me and I stumbled back into the row of lockers behind me, Jenna rushing to my side. Eddie retreated fairly quickly and my savior approached me. I took in his sandy brown hair, deep brown eyes set over a long straight nose, high cheekbones, full firm lips and a square masculine jaw. “Jeremy?” I muttered as his brow furrowed with concern. What the hell was he doing here?
“You okay?”
My face heated with sudden embarrassment. Who else had seen and heard what had just gone down between Eddie and me, and the bigger question was would it happen again? “What are you doing here? At my school?”
He flashed me a smile. “It’s my school now too. My family and I moved here a week before our date. I started that f
ollowing week. Didn’t I mention that?”
I frowned. “No, you didn’t.” That I would have most definitely remembered.
“Well, here I am. And just in time I see.” Yeah, just in time to witness my complete and utter humiliation, I thought.
“Eh-em.” Jenna cleared her throat reminding me she was still there. “You never answered if you’re okay. Eddie is such an asshole, just ignore him, I always do.”
I turned and met Jenna’s dark eyes, which, despite her outward calm, were narrowed with tension. She was worried about me. “Yeah, just fine.” Mostly, anyways.
“So what was that all about? A Guardian shouldn’t be treating you like that.” Jeremy clenched his fists with anger.
“Oh—you haven’t heard. There’s some rumors going around about P.J. and—,” Jenna started but I certainly wasn’t going to let her finish.
“Shut up Jenna,” I hissed, turning to look at Jeremy, who now wore a slightly bemused expression. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“I’ve already heard the rumors, P.J. As the new guy around town, everyone was more than happy to fill me in on all the latest gossip.” He took my bag from my shoulder and started walking, and since he had my stuff hostage, I had no choice but to follow. I assumed Jenna wasn’t far behind us. “So what’s the real deal? Because I’m not the type to buy into that kind of stuff.”
I met his eyes briefly before studying my shoes as we walked. “I don’t know; what’ve you heard? Although I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Just that you’re an easy lay, you even do Guardians, you were sleeping with your no longer future Guardian amongst a host of other guys, and that he was shipped away after he got you pregnant, and your parents forced you to have an abortion.”
I turned and glared at Jenna who was walking a few steps behind us. “You never said anything about me sleeping with a host of other guys, or the abortion.”
Jenna at least had the decency to look a tiny bit sheepish for once. “I didn’t wanna upset you anymore,” she mumbled.
“Because finding out this way was so much better,” I snapped.
Jeremy touched my arm and I met his deep brown eyes that burned with curiosity. “So what started these rumors?”
I mulled over what I should say to him. He seemed like a nice enough guy on our date, and he had come to my rescue with Eddie, but how would he react once he knew the truth? I could use as many allies right now as possible. “Bryn was shipped away, and you know people talk. Suddenly I’m the biggest slut this school has ever seen apparently.” I scuffed my shoe along the ground angrily. “I’ve only been with one guy for fuck’s sake, and I’ve only had sex a couple of times; I was a virgin until recently.” I inhaled and exhaled deeply trying to calm myself. “It’s so not fair.”
“But it was Bryn, wasn’t it? Who took your virginity?” Jeremy asked softly.
I whipped my head up and met his gaze sharply. I’m not sure what I saw there but suddenly I wanted to tell him the truth. “Yeah, it was.” I began studying my shoes again.
Jeremy’s hand reached out and tipped my chin back so he could look me in the eyes. “It’s okay. I won’t judge. I already knew you had feelings for someone else when we had our date. I was just hoping I could compete. And you were a virgin then, I could tell.”
“What? How?” I asked incredulously.
He smiled. “I’m a very strong Gatekeeper. Not only can I sense and manipulate energy around the gates, but I can sense and manipulate other energies.”
Oh, that was just fabulous. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Yeah, because that wouldn’t have freaked you out or anything—by the way—P.J., I—,”
I interrupted him with a laugh, already knowing where he was going with his line of thought. “Yeah, you may have a point there.” I couldn’t help the smile that cracked across my face. “I’ve never heard of a Gatekeeper being able to do that before.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Most can’t. I can. No biggie.”
Jenna took that opportunity, obviously no longer feeling very sheepish, to push up in between Jeremy and me. She looked up at him and batted her eyelashes. “Hi, I’m Jenna.” Her voice had gone lower and huskier and there was no doubt what she wanted from him.
Jeremy’s lips twitched up into a wry smile. “You have all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, don’t you?”
Jenna blushed, and I laughed, causing Jenna to shoot me a glare. “That’s our Jenna, blunt as can be.”
“Well, I can be pretty blunt myself. Sorry Jenna, don’t waste your time on me, I’ve already got my eye on someone else.” He looked at me and smiled, and it was my turn to blush.
“Jeremy, I—well I—,”
He slid my bag back onto my shoulder and winked at me. “Don’t sweat it. I know you have feelings for Bryn, or otherwise you wouldn’t have slept with him, I can tell that’s the kind of girl you are. But he’s gone, and I’m here. I have every intention of wooing you to the best of my abilities.” He crowded my space by stepping into me, and for a second I thought he was going to try and kiss me.
Instead he leaned over and whispered in my ear. “I’ve been on a lot of dates with a lot of Seers lately and none have piqued my interest like you have. You’re who I want P.J., and I don’t mind waiting around until you can be.”
My heart thrummed in my chest with him being so close to me, and it wasn’t just because he was a hot guy and my hormones seemed to be set on overdrive lately, no it was something else… something more. It made me think about what Khol had said to me about me eventually craving… well more. Was it his power that was calling to mine? Would these feelings grow with my developing powers? “Jeremy—,” I tried again, but with a smile he turned and trotted off down the hall.
“Wow,” Jenna said as she fanned herself. “Some girls have all the luck.”
I grimaced. “Yeah, but it’s not necessarily good luck.”
“Only you would complain about having multiple hot guys vying for your attention.” Jenna stuck out her lower lip at me.
“Too bad the one I really want has been shipped off to who knows where and I’m the one left here to deal with the fallout of everything. Or do you consider it lucky too that everyone in school thinks I’m such a big whore now?”
“Oh, stop being so over dramatic, we’re seniors and school’s ending in less than a year, not to mention when you graduate you and Bryn can do whatever the hell you want. Things could be worse. At least you have Jeremy to keep you occupied.” She smiled wistfully and I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously… what don’t you understand? I’m not interested in him like that.”
Jenna sighed. “Speaker here, something that you keep forgetting, I’m totally awesome at reading body language and yours was saying something completely different just now. You might love Bryn, but Jeremy could definitely get you going. Why not use him until Bryn gets back?”
My jaw dropped in shock—she couldn’t be serious. “Are you suggesting that I sleep with Jeremy until Bryn gets back?”
She nodded her affirmation. “Yep, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting. It could be the solution to all your problems. You could marry Jeremy and take Bryn on as your lover slash Guardian.” She clapped her hands together excitedly. “It would be perfect.”
Jenna was worse than a guy sometimes. Her plan was a horrible idea; even if it was something that I was interested in, which it so wasn’t. I could just imagine trying to explain it to them. Oh hey, Jeremy, even though you’re my husband, I’m going to keep on having sex with Bryn, hope you don’t mind sharing. And Bryn, you know I love you but I need to have sex with my husband in order to try and get pregnant with his baby, you know duty calls and all. You okay with that? “You’re absolutely insane, you know that, right?”
“Insanely smart.” Jenna giggled.
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” I grappled with swapping some stuff out of my locker and into my bag, before I turned in the direct
ion of homeroom with dread. Something must have shown on my face because Jenna looked at me with sympathy.
“The first day is always the worst; people will move on to the next big thing really soon.”
I inhaled and exhaled deeply trying to center myself. Who does that ever really work for in real life? It certainly wasn’t working for me. “Alright, here I go.” And it wasn’t just the rumors and whispers that I’d have to deal with that were bothering me, it was also my first day back at school without Bryn at my side. The emptiness I felt left a gaping hole in my chest that I could almost feel physically. I moved forward on shaky legs, ignoring the small groups of people whispering about me as I passed them. The first warning bell rang and I hastened just a little, looking back only once, wishing that Jenna could come with me. She wasn’t much but at least she would be some kind of buffer. She waved at me with fake cheer and turned to go off in the opposite direction where her homeroom was located. Okay, I can do this. I mentally steeled myself. Oh, for the days when my biggest worry was someone getting wind of my middle name and telling everyone.
As I entered homeroom, every pair of eyes looked up to stare. Some tried to do it more covertly, and others openly gawked; a weird kind of quiet settled over the room as I made my way to my seat. I slumped down in my chair and dropped my bag at my feet, staring straight ahead as the final bell rang. I could feel everyone’s eyes burning into me, and I felt my face heat as the whispering began when I couldn’t help but glance to my right at Bryn’s empty desk. Why was everyone so completely obsessed with what was going on? I understood my kind with the whole Seer hooking up with a Guardian thing being thrown for a loop, but we didn’t make up the majority of the school, and it seemed like more than just my kind had taken an interest in the gossip that was surrounding me. It hadn’t escaped my notice that not one person had greeted me when I had entered the room. I had become the local pariah. Yay me!