by D T Dyllin
A chime echoed three times from the loud speaker signaling the morning announcements were soon to follow. “Quiet everyone,” Mrs. Averton said loudly. I simply slumped in my seat even lower and waited for homeroom to end. This was going to be a very long day.
* * *
It was official; I was never going back to school again. Not one single person had asked me how I was doing all day, and when anyone male or female deigned to actually utter a few words to me, it was always some kind of lewd remark or insult. The guys all wanted to sleep with me and the girls all wanted to scratch my eyes out because the guys all wanted to sleep with me. I was beginning to think that Bryn was the lucky one getting shipped off to somewhere where nobody knew who he was. But then again, he’d probably be getting all kinds of pats on the back if he were the one who was left behind instead of me. It was all so unfair.
“Hey there, my little Seer.” I looked up from my spot under a tree in my back yard to meet Khol’s vivid green eyes. I had come to sit here after school because I wanted to be left alone, but my parents obviously wanted to be able to keep an eye on me. I guess they were worried I’d throw myself at the next available Guardian too, now that Bryn was gone.
“I’m not your little Seer,” I snapped focusing back down on the ground.
Khol sat down beside me, but not close enough to touch. “Oh, but you are. We’re linked, you and I.”
I lifted my head to glare at him. “Look, I’m in no mood to deal with you right now. Why did you come this time? What do you want? Wait—.” I glanced over towards my kitchen window to see if either of my parents had spotted Khol yet. “You better get out of here before my parents see you, they’ll blow a gasket if they see me out here with some guy they don’t know after what happened with Bryn. Apparently, I can’t be trusted around anyone with a penis anymore.”
Khol laughed. “Well, I don’t think that’s true. I think they just don’t trust you in general now.”
“That’s all besides the point, I don’t want them to see you here—with me.” I glanced back over at my kitchen window again. Not to mention any little rodent spies, although it wasn’t like my reputation could get any worse than it currently was.
“They’re busy at the moment. I can hear them talking.” He tilted his head and smiled. “And I’ll be able to hear them if they approach.”
Huh. Good to know. So he has super human hearing of some kind. I tilted my head to study him, almost mirroring his body language. “What are you?” I murmured. The more I was around him, the less creepy things such as his eyes became, and I noticed other little things more, for instance how handsome he was, even with his gi-normous proportions. And he had dimples; I’d always liked dimples, Bryn has dimples—Bryn. I mustn’t get distracted by Khol’s handsome face and forget my Bryn. It was as if Khol was enchanting me somehow. “Are you using some kind of—I don’t know—power—to distract me? Some kind of whatever you are mojo to make me forget about Bryn when I’m with you?”
Khol met my eyes for a moment before responding. “I possess no such powers. Whatever you feel when I am near is completely you.” He leaned closer to me, letting his leg brush against mine, the heat coming from him washed over to me causing my breath to catch in my throat. Maybe what Jenna had said was true, maybe being with Bryn had sprung me and my hormones were just going crazy now. If I knew that was the case, I could control it. “Your friend Jenna knows nothing about these things,” Khol rumbled.
“Stop doing that.” I scowled at him. “It’s creepy.”
But he said nothing; instead he leaned into me and pushed the hair on the right side of my head behind my ear, letting his fingers blaze a trail of heat down my neck before pulling away. Heat pooled in my core and my breathing was coming fast and sporadic. I balled my fists at my sides in order to resist touching him; just because my body was reacting to him didn’t mean I would betray Bryn. I stared into Khol’s electric green eyes as he leaned back into me, his face skimming along my neck, his breath hot, but his lips never actually touched my skin. He moved up my jaw and towards my mouth, never making contact, stopping just millimeters from me, his face so close I was afraid to breath. “I told you, I won’t take again what isn’t freely given.” I could almost feel his lips on mine as he spoke, sending a shudder down to my core. My chest heaved as I willed myself to move away, although I seemed unable to. He ran his hands through my hair, grasping tightly at the base of my neck, and oh, I wanted him to kiss me—so badly. I felt like a traitor for feeling that way, but I couldn’t seem to help the desire. I didn’t have to act on it though—I wouldn’t let myself.
“No,” I whispered. “Stop.”
Every muscle in Khol’s body tensed before he slowly, ever so slowly pulled away from me. A part of me mourned the loss of his touch, and yet I knew I couldn’t allow myself to feel that way. He closed his eyes and spoke, his voice low and gruff. “I want you, my little Seer. I won’t pretend that part isn’t true. Your power, your body, your very essence is what awakened me from my sleep. I am yours, your willing servant, linked to you first by choice and now by need.”
I swallowed, trying to combat my suddenly dry throat. “Why do I seem to be the main attraction to all you guys around here lately? Why now? Why all of a sudden, when no one seemed to notice me before?” Besides Bryn that is, Bryn always noticed me.
Khol’s eyes remained closed as he spoke, his head tipped back against the base of the tree. “Because you were a pretty girl who’s now becoming a beautiful woman—a woman who deserves to be worshipped—one that can no longer be ignored. One that I’m trying my best to keep my word to.” He moved lightening fast like he had the night before in my bedroom, stopping with his hands cupping my face, his eyes boring into mine. “I know that a part of you wants me to kiss you, a part of you wants what I’m offering, even if you’re not ready.” I shuddered, unable to deny his words, knowing that even if I tried he would know. “But I will not take it from you, although a part of me yearns to do just that. I will wait.” His hands trembled against the side of my face. “We have more important things to worry about than our petty desires. I will come to you later when I have myself more… under control.” He stood abruptly and disappeared. How the hell does he keep doing that?
“P.J.” My mother came bustling out the back door of our house towards me, barely containing her excitement. “You have a visitor.”
I looked at her balefully from my spot on the ground. “I thought I was still being punished. Must be an important visitor.”
“The fact that he wants to see you at all after what happened with Bryn—well, it means you still have hope and I’m not going to let anything stand in the way of that.”
“Oh, so it’s a he? I guess it’s safe to assume that he isn’t a Guardian or anyone of that ilk, you know the unacceptable kind of guys for me to associate with.” I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my chin defiantly. If my mother wanted me to see this guy then I had no desire to do so.
“Now, don’t you ruin this. I only want what’s best for you, peanut,” my mother whispered excitedly as I heard my father’s voice growing closer. “He’ll be out in a second.
“Fabulous,” I grumbled. Well, I wasn’t going to get up for whoever it was. I looked up to see my father escorting none other than Jeremy into my back yard. He grinned at me as my mother hurried over to join my father and the two of them went back inside without another word. Well… I guess I could be trusted alone with a Gatekeeper, just not any Guardians. “What are you doing here?” I asked trying not to sound too accusatory.
“Just came to see how you were doing after your first day back at school. I know it must have been pretty rough—all things considered.” He sat down next to me where Khol had been, and just like him, he was careful not to touch me when he sat.
I picked at some blades of grass, averting my eyes. “Yeah, don’t really wanna talk about it. But thanks anyways.” I lifted my head and met his deep brown gaze, unable to keep myself from b
eing annoyed with him. “You know, I do appreciate you helping me today, and being so nice—I do—.”
“But? I sense a but coming.” Jeremy eyed me with his deep brown soulful eyes.
I sighed. “Yeah, there is… but if you come over like this my mom is going to start printing up our wedding invitations and naming our first child. She seems to think you’re my only prospect at the moment, and well, I’m sure you know how it is.”
“Yeah, I do. My mom is the same way. It’s just, well, I wouldn’t mind all of that—with you.”
My mouth dropped open. “What? You can’t be serious? You barely know me. You can’t—”
“There’s just something about you,” he interrupted. “I can’t quite put my finger on it. I wanna be with you, P.J. I thought girls all believed in the whole love at first sight kind of thing. I mean I don’t love you.” Jeremy flushed. “Not yet anyways—but I could. I know that I could.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know I love someone else. You know that. It’s been like a week since he’s been ripped out of my life. And I don’t plan on giving him up so easily.” Seriously… what had I just asked Khol about guys noticing me so much more all of a sudden? I’d gone from a drought to a flash flood. And the one I really wanted was nowhere to be found.
Jeremy frowned, picking at some blades of grass himself. “You love him? No, I didn’t know that part. I just knew you had feelings for him.”
“Even if I only just had feelings for him, well, it’s still only been a week.” I sighed. “Look Jeremy, you’re wasting your time with me.”
“So what do you plan on doing? He’s a Guardian, P.J., and even though I would never judge you for your indiscretion—are you willing to give up your friends and family for him? Are you willing to become an outcast to be with him?”
I didn’t even have to think about it. I would do anything to be with Bryn. “Yes,” I whispered. “I would do anything to be with him.”
“Oh,” Jeremy said. “Even still—I can’t just give up on you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
I let out a frustrated groan. “I don’t wanna hurt you, Jeremy. Despite not wanting to be with you romantically, I still like you, I still want to be friends.”
“Friends,” Jeremy grunted with displeasure.
He then abruptly leaned into me, crushing his lips to mine. I barely had time to mentally process what was going on before his tongue was sliding into my mouth, and, just like with Khol, I found myself kissing him back. And as much as I hated to admit it, my body responded to his as well. His hands snaked up into my hair, his thumbs pressed against the sides of my jaw, and I couldn’t help but let out a little moan. He’s such a good kisser, I numbly thought as his tongue massaged and played with mine.
And then it happened… it’s hard to put the sensations into words but I somehow knew it had something to do with his powers and my powers intermingling. I felt myself being pulled out of my body like when I had visions before and yet at the same time I was still very aware of Jeremy’s body touching mine. I heard myself gasp as a vision slammed into me—white hot light, images coming at me almost too fast to interpret—but it was bad, very bad—those things—those aliens in so many people. They’re everywhere hiding, and yet in plain sight. They have a plan, a plan they’ve already set into motion, I could almost see it, and yet it was just out of my grasp.
Then I was jolted back into my body when I felt myself begin to peak. I’d never felt anything like it, Jeremy was only kissing me, and one hand slid down to pull me closer to him, but he wasn’t doing anything that should have caused that kind of reaction in me. My whole body was spasming with ecstasy from little more than a kiss. I moaned into his mouth, my hands digging into his shoulders. He then pulled away, staring down at me as my eyes fluttered open, little aftershocks still racking my body. I bit my lip not knowing what to say to him.
He didn’t seem to have the same tongue tied problem. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
“What—what was that?” I sputtered, guilt crashing over me like a tidal wave, threatening to drown me. First Khol and now Jeremy… what would Bryn think?
“I’m not a hundred percent sure. I can manipulate all kinds of energies, but I’ve never been able to do that before. It was like I could feel our powers intertwining when we touched, and then…” His voice trailed off as he flushed, a small smile playing across his lips. “You did, didn’t you? You know?”
I blushed and averted my eyes. I supposed I might as well be honest with him because I had a feeling he already knew what he had done to me, and that he was just pretending that he couldn’t tell. After all, how could he not know when he knew before when I was still a virgin just by reading my energies? “Yeah… ,” I breathed, still not looking at him. “You?” I couldn’t help but to be curious. I wanted to know if he had been affected the same way that I had been.
“Yeah… no. I have a little bit more control than that over myself.”
I narrowed my eyes at him angrily. “So what are you trying to say? That I have no control over myself? Do you think I’m easy or something because of what happened with Bryn?” I knew my anger was misplaced. Jeremy seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and I didn’t actually think he’d meant anything by his comment, and yet I needed to be angry with someone. I needed to yell at someone because I hated myself for betraying Bryn. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” I hissed.
“No, and you know I didn’t. Don’t be mad at me because you feel like you betrayed Bryn or something. Maybe it’s better you figure these things out now before it’s too late.” Was I that obvious that he knew right away why I was really angry?
“Too late for what?”
He stepped towards me and I backed up, causing him to throw up his hands in a sign of defeat. “Before you two do something really stupid and then you figure out down the line that he isn’t right for you.”
“And I suppose you think you’re right for me?”
His brown eyes flashed with emotion as his lips pressed into a thin line briefly before responding. “Yeah, I do.”
“And why is that, because you just made me… well you know?” I couldn’t bring myself to actually say it.
Jeremy grunted, his lips turning up slightly at the edges. “Partly, you can’t deny we have good chemistry, P.J.”
“I have better chemistry with Bryn. I love him. I don’t love you.” It was just like a guy to think everything was all about sex. There is more to chemistry than just sex. Okay, fine, sex plays a huge part in it, but other things go into the mix, like emotions—emotions like love.
“So, you’re not even willing to give me a chance after that? Won’t you at least go out on a second date with me? Didn’t that kiss at least warrant that much?” Jeremy’s face was pleading and not the least bit arrogant or cocky. I would have at least expected a touch of arrogance after that little performance. Hell, I would feel a little smug if the shoe was on the other foot, and yet his deep brown eyes only held a kind of desperation. “Please, P.J., give me a chance, a real chance. That’s all I’m asking for.”
I looked away from him, not wanting to see his sad eyes anymore. I wasn’t cruel after all. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I love Bryn.”
“If you love him so much then you shouldn’t be worried about going out with me again. You could go out with me, give us a real shot, and if you really love him as much as you say you do, well, then I won’t be able to steal you away. You owe it to yourself to find out, don’t you think?” I didn’t say anything, not really liking where this conversation was going. “The only reason to not go out with me is because you know you don’t really love him, at least not the way you say you do. Don’t you think you owe it to him to find out if you truly love him?”
“Stop,” I said, my shoulders slumping. What if he was right? What if I was afraid to give anyone else a shot because I didn’t think I could be faithful? Would Bryn want to be with me if he doubted how much I really loved him? I knew Jere
my was trying to twist things to his advantage, trying to manipulate me into going out with him again, but even I couldn’t deny he made some very valid points. “Alright,” I said flatly. “I’ll go out with you again.” I raised my eyes to meet his merrily dancing brown gaze, a huge grin spread across his face. “But none of that again—don’t do that to me again.” I bit my lower lip and eyed him warily. This could all be a huge mistake.
Jeremy’s grin turned sly. “I can’t make that promise. I’m going to use every God given gift to try and make you mine.”
“Jeremy—,” I groaned, my face turning into a scowl.
“Nope. You already agreed to go. I’ll mention it to your mom on the way out, you know, so you can’t back out of it later.” He turned and loped back towards my house.
“That’s playing dirty,” I called to him with annoyance.
He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Yep… but at least I’m in the game.”
I turned and braced myself on the tree, running my fingertips idly over the bark, freezing when I felt something very familiar. When Bryn and I had been little kids, we had both carved our names into the trunk of the tree that I was currently touching. We hadn’t put our initials together inside a heart or anything like that, we hadn’t known about such things as love yet, but both our names did grace the trunk of this tree. And I had unerringly found the grooves in the trunk that spelled out Bryn’s name. I stared at it as big fat tears began to slowly slide down my cheeks. I’d just betrayed him—twice—and both times while his name hovered above me. My heart hadn’t been in the kiss with Jeremy, nor the almost kiss with Khol, but my body had been, and it had called for more. Not to mention the actual kiss I’d shared with Khol in my bedroom last night. Bryn had been gone just over a week and I’d already been unfaithful to him three times all in all. What kind of girlfriend did that make me? Not a very good one, that much I knew.
I loved Bryn, with all of my heart, and I felt things with him that I knew no one else could ever make me feel. So why did my body respond so willingly to both Khol and Jeremy? And how could I put a stop to things when they obviously were both dead set on having me for themselves. Maybe in a year when Bryn comes for me, he won’t want me anymore. Maybe he’ll realize I’m the one that’s not good enough for him.