Darkness Before Dawn

by Ace Collins

  “Nurse Richards I realize that your husband’s death was an incredible blow to you. So over the past month or more I have been willing to cut you some slack.”

  “Sir,” Meg cut in, “I have not checked in late once. And I haven’t missed a day due to illness. I’ve even put in a bunch of overtime hours. You can look at the records.”

  Willis waved his hand and sternly continued, “Your hours are not the issue; it is your demeanor. I have a stack of complaints here about your attitude. In many cases, your bedside manner had been horrible. As you’ve done your duties, which you’ve done well, you have barely acknowledged patients and shown little regard for the feelings of staff members. You’ve been sour at best and completely lacking in compassion at worst.”

  “Mr. Willis,” Meg said, but was once again cut off by the wave of his hand.

  “I could dismiss you. You at least have earned being reassigned. But because of what has happened in your life, I’m going to give you another chance. I expect to see a dramatic change in attitude, and if I don’t, then you need to be updating your résumé. Do you understand?”

  She took a deep breath but didn’t retreat, “What have I done wrong?”

  He shook his head. “We have a reputation at Springfield for offering a loving hand and a compassionate voice with our care. That goes back decades. You might just act like a machine at another hospital, but not here. There is no doubt you know your job and rarely make professional mistakes, but your attitude is much different than it was before you husband died. We can’t have that. Look at your job description. Attitude is covered in great deal there. Do you understand?”

  Biting her lip, Meg nodded.

  “Nurse Richards, I’ve always had the utmost respect for you. Until your husband’s death, you were the model nurse. I’d never seen anyone bond with patients the way you did. They loved you because you cared so deeply about them. You were empathetic, kind, and compassionate. You defined your profession as well as anyone I’d ever met. What I want to see is that person back in this hospital. Can you do that for me?”

  Meg responded with a tone that belied the hostility boiling inside, “I will try.”

  “Thank you. You may go back to your station.”

  Meg clenched her jaw as she walked out of the office and down the hallway. What did he know about compassion? Had he shown any to her? He was demanding and aloof. No one liked him. So why should she listen? After all, nurses were in short supply, she could get another job, one where a boss would work with her and not demonize her. No she couldn’t do that, either. She had vacation time coming that she was going to need for the court battle. She had to hold on to this job until after the case was over. That meant falling into the form Willis wanted—no demanded—she adhere to. With this in mind, she forced a smile at two visitors as she joined Heather at the station.

  “What was that all about?” The other nurse asked.

  “Compassion,” Meg replied.

  “What?” Heather asked.

  “It’s time for me to show compassion. Well, I won all kinds of awards acting in high school, so looks like I will have to trot out my old stage skills again. I might not feel like Florence Nightingale, but I guess I’m going to have to act like her.”

  “I don’t get it,” Heather answered. “They should cut you some slack.

  Meg noted a call light on. Not missing a chance to show off her fake smile, she announced, “I’ll get that and the patient will love me.”

  34

  WHAT’RE YOU DOING?”

  Jim Thomas glanced up from stuffing his bat and glove into his equipment bag and watched the cute blonde walk up to his car. Once again fate was on his side and the script for this day couldn’t have been any better if he’d written it himself. The temperature was in the seventies, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and one of the most beautiful girls in school was so close he could smell her perfume. Best of all, Candy had a huge crush on him. It had always been that way and probably always would be that way. She’d been following him since elementary school. Back then she’d been a scrawny moppet, but now she was an explosive bombshell. What a transformation!

  Yet, other than her being the shortest of his harem, Candy was really no different than a dozen others. She’d do what he wanted, when he wanted it, and ask for nothing in return. Why was that? He was good-looking, but no better than a half dozen other boys. Yes, he was a star athlete and that carried weight. It seems girls loved guys who scored touchdowns, dunked basketballs, and hit home runs, but there were other guys who did that as well. And they didn’t have the luck with the girls he did. So he figured the major reason Candy and all the others flew to him like a moths to a flame had to be his money and connections. He could take them to the nicest places, buy them anything they wanted, and get them in to see people they never dreamed they’d meet. No one else at school could offer those things. Best of all, once they tasted what only he could give them, it became a drug and they constantly had to have more.

  “Did you see my home run?” Thomas casually inquired as the blonde threw her arms around him. The hug lasted long enough that a couple of the other players started howling at them from the other side of the parking lot. Yet those catcalls didn’t dissuade Candy from planting a kiss on his cheek.

  As she broke away, her eyes met his. Those eyes told him all he needed to know. She’d do anything he wanted. Sadly that easy-to-read invitation meant nothing on this night.

  After zipping his bag, he looked back to the young woman admiring him as if he were made of gold and diamonds. She had it bad. Leaning down, he drew her close to him. But rather than kiss her, he asked, “I’ll ask you again, did you see the homer?” After popping the question, he pulled back, leaving her standing with eyes closed and waiting for a kiss that never happened.

  “That’s mean,” she whined.

  He shrugged, “About my question?”

  “Yeah, I got here just as it was sailing out of the park. I couldn’t get here sooner because we had a big day at the cleaners. It seemed everyone was bringing stuff in.”

  “You didn’t miss much,” he assured her. “I did get three more hits and pitched a great game, but that long ball was the key to our win. It’s what folks will be talking about tonight and reading about in the paper tomorrow. You know being a hero isn’t easy.”

  Tossing his bag in the passenger seat of his new Corvette, Thomas waved at a couple of team members who were already driving away. They pointed at Candy and gave him a thumbs-up.

  “You guys have fun!” He called out as they roared by in the Ford pick-up. “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  “That leaves things wide open,” the girl noted.

  “Yep,” he laughed. “Just want them to have a good time when they’re celebrating the victory. After all, we’re on top in our district.” Folding his arms across his chest, he looked back toward the field. With that long ball, he’d proven once more that he was king of Springfield High, and how he liked being king.

  “What’s on your mind?” Candy asked, leaning into his body in what was likely an attempt to have him turn his attention back to her.

  “Just thinking about how unfair life is,” he said as he draped his arm over her shoulder.

  She looked up at him, “Unfair? You think your life is unfair? You with the new car and you with the home run! How could life be unfair?”

  “Maybe you just don’t see the whole picture,” he explained. “My life pretty much sucks right now. Everybody gets to go do what they want to do tonight but me. Ray and Cliff are headed out to the lake to party. A bunch of the others are going out for pizza, but I’ve got to go home.”

  The blonde shook her head, “You’re going home? You never do that. How can the guys have a lake party without you? You always supply the booze. What’s up?”

  “Got that trial in two weeks,” he explained. “Dad’s being a real jerk about it. His attorney gave him a list of questions and answers that I have to memorize. So I
study them every night just like I would if I was prepping for a history test. Except this is worse. Dad puts me in a chair and drills me as if I’m in court. I can’t wait for this mess to get over.”

  His words had barely cleared his lips when Candy said, “She was in today.”

  “Who’s she?” he asked.

  “You know, the woman whose husband died in that accident.” She paused and looked back toward the field. “I wish I could get that scene out of my head. I can still see him trapped in that burning car.”

  Thomas shot an angry look her way. “I don’t need to hear you or anyone else telling me about that accident. I get that every night at home. I’m constantly having to relive every detail. I don’t care how she feels, I’m the one with the real problem. The law is going after me.”

  “She probably lives with it every night too,” Candy noted while pulling away from Thomas. She walked two steps toward the field before turning back. Rubbing her arms as if she’d suddenly felt a chilling wind, she added, “You should have seen her. She was cold and hard. Her words had a bite to them. She scares me. Does she scare you?”

  Slamming the passenger door, Thomas stomped around the car to the driver’s door. After throwing it open he slid in. For a few seconds Candy watched him through the windshield before saying, “I figured your dad could fix it. I thought you wouldn’t have to go to trial.”

  He didn’t answer. Starting his red Corvette, he jammed it into drive and pulled out of the parking lot leaving Candy standing alone and confused. He was sure his father could fix it as well. That’s what the judge did; he fixed things. But for some reason the old man couldn’t make this go away, and until it ended, it looked as if the king of Springfield High would remain a prisoner in his own castle. Life just wasn’t fair.

  35

  I’M GLAD YOU COULD MEET ME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.”

  Meg nodded as she took a seat on a bench beside Cheryl. It was cloudy and rain was predicted for later in the night. So, except for two old men playing checkers on a table a hundred yards away, the city park was empty. That’s probably why Cheryl chose this place for their meeting.

  “I take it you have something new on the case?” Meg asked.

  The assistant district attorney shook her head. Leaning close, she whispered, “They’re worried.”

  “You mean the Thomas family?”

  Her blue eyes sparkled as Cheryl answered, “The whole defense team. They’ve even put out feelers to see if we can work out an agreement to avoid going to trial.”

  “What do you mean not go to trial?”

  “Unofficially, they’ve approached us with an offer. Jim Thomas will accept a guilty plea in exchange for attending alcohol abuse classes, five years probation, a stiff fine, and community service.”

  “No jail time?” Meg asked, her tone clearly showing her disapproval.

  “No,” Cheryl admitted, “he’d never spend a day in jail. But there is something else. This deal also means you could find a lot of money in your bank account. They’re offering a quarter of a million to make the case go away. I think you could probably double that.”

  Meg’s hands formed two fists, her blood boiled, and her heart raced. They thought she could be bought! Toss a little money her way and they thought she’d just go away and leave them alone! Who did they think they were?

  A light mist was starting to fall, driving the checker players to their car. Yet as one minute became two and two became three, Meg said nothing. As the silence dragged on, the assistant district attorney leaned back into the bench and shoved her hands into her pockets.

  “Meg,” Cheryl finally chimed in, “you’ve got a kid coming in the near future and that is lot of money. Let’s face it, you could use it. Steve’s life insurance barely paid for his funeral.”

  Meg clinched her jaw and shook her head.

  “You have to carefully consider it,” Cheryl said. “This means security. And there is no guarantee that we will win. Even if he is found guilty, Thomas might even get less punishment than what is in this deal we’ve been offered.”

  Pushing off the bench, Meg stood facing the north wind. The mist was now thicker and within seconds her face was moist and cold. They were trying to buy her off! The mere fact Judge Thomas thought she would cave for cash was a cutting insult. Steve’s life and death could never be erased with money.

  Whirling around, she stared at Cheryl, “I suppose you think this is a good deal.”

  The assistant district attorney shrugged. Standing, she walked over to Meg, pulled her hands from her coat pockets and placed them on the hurting woman’s shoulders. “It is a good deal. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.”

  Meg hadn’t felt this alone since the night Steve had been killed. Even the one woman once driven in an effort to get justice had now seemingly deserted her.

  “What can I do?” Meg coldly asked.

  “You can do what you want to do.”

  “I can’t spend the rest of my life knowing I can be bought.”

  Cheryl nodded. “So you want to reject the deal and move on with the case?”

  “I do.” Meg’s reply was resolute. “But what about you?”

  “I never settle,” she smiled.

  Stepping forward, Cheryl took Meg into her arms. In an instant, the two had been transformed from allies to friends.

  “You’re giving up a lot,” the assistant district attorney said as she broke the embrace. “There is nothing guaranteed if we do it our way. And there won’t be any money for you even if we win.”

  “I can’t be bought!”

  Cheryl smiled, walked over to the bench, and retrieved her briefcase. Looking back to Meg, she said, “Webb Jones bet me you’d take the deal. I love it when I’m right and he’s wrong.”

  36

  IT ALL STARTS ONE WEEK FROM TODAY,” MEG EXPLAINED.

  “And you’re ready?” Nancy asked, her tone breathy and hoarse.

  “Well,” Meg explained, “I’ve been prepped. I have an idea of what the defense will try to do and the questions they will ask. So I guess I’m as ready as I can be.”

  “I’m ready, too,” Nancy grimly said.

  Meg didn’t know how to reply to the small woman’s pronouncement. She was also scared to ask what it meant. What she did know was that her habit of not leaving after work until she had visited with Nancy had become very meaningful and she didn’t want it to end. The tiny woman had a strength that awed Meg. Others would have given up by now. Their funerals would have been weeks ago, but not this lady. She was a fighter. She was determined to cling to every second she could. But, even though Meg didn’t want to think about it, there was an expiration date looming.

  “The pain must be getting bad,” Meg whispered.

  “I can handle it,” came the quiet reply. “Besides, if I was on the meds, I probably wouldn’t be awake when you came by each day. I look forward to that time. And, as I know you don’t work everyday of the week, I appreciate that you come to see Nosy Nancy on your days off, too. It’s kind of like having a sister.”

  Leaning closer to the bed, Meg patted the small woman’s hand. “I think you’re the reason I’ve learned to care about my patients again, so I still have my job thanks to you. I guess you’re the person who keeps the old Meg alive.”

  “You don’t need to lose that part of you,” Nancy warned. “After all, that’s who Steve fell in love with.”

  Though she hadn’t meant it, Nancy’s words cut to the bone. She was right! Steve wouldn’t have fallen for the person Meg had become. In fact, he wouldn’t have recognized the person who now carried such rage in her heart.

  “Did I say something wrong?”

  Meg smiled, “No, Nancy you said something very right. When I met you I was mad at everyone and everything in my life. You’ve caused me to refocus. I’m not angry with the patients anymore. I’m not mad at my mother. I’m not ready to pal around with her yet and I need my space, but I no longer feel a desire to push her completely out
of my life.”

  “But you’re still carrying a lot of rage,” Nancy pointed out.

  “Only for those who deserve it,” Meg admitted. “I focus now on the Thomas family, especially the judge and his son.”

  “What about God?”

  Meg cocked her eyebrows. This woman really had a way of pushing buttons. “God is not on my good side. If confession is good for the soul, then I’ll confess I don’t like Him much, either.”

  “Even a little hate can chew you up,” Nancy warned. “It’s like cancer; it starts small and grows. If you don’t cut all the anger out of your life, it will kill everything that is good in you.”

  Meg leaned closer to her most special patient. “You go places others dare not tread.”

  “Tact is not very important when your days are numbered.” Nancy paused, smiled, and added, “But friendship is. Thanks for being my friend.”

  “If Steve had met you first,” Meg whispered, “I don’t think I’d have ever caught his eye.”

  37

  THANKS TO WILLIS’S WARNINGS AND NANCY’S INFLUENCE, MEG WAS ONCE more acting like the perfect nurse at Springfield Community; yet in almost every other situation, she was aloof and distant. Many who had once cared deeply for her, those who had once thought that after she had time to work through her pain she would return to her values and her beliefs, now tried to avoid her. Meg didn’t care that she was being avoided. In fact, she liked the separation. It made it that much easier for her to embrace her private little pity party.

  When she wasn’t at work, Meg didn’t have to act like she was happy. She could be as miserable as she wanted. And she usually was. She had quickly gotten used to being by herself, but that didn’t mean she liked it. Even she had to admit her life was depressing. There would be no happiness or satisfaction until Jim Thomas got what he deserved. That goal kept her going. Seeing the teen declared guilty was her first thought each morning. To emphasize the coming of that special day, every night she crossed out the day on the kitchen calendar. Thus she was able to clearly see just how much time she had left before putting the boy in his place. The big X over today’s date meant April 26 was now just two days away. That was reason to celebrate.