“You know how much I hate it when guys say they are really into red hair. It’s like they don’t even care who the woman is that’s attached to the hair. I really couldn’t date a guy who picked me based on my hair color.”
“I know; I don’t think it’s like that. You know it’s really hard to get in Patty’s good graces; it might be nice to meet with her and just see what she can come up with. Or just fill out the online profile, and I’ll let her know you did it so she can get in touch with you. Take a chance,” Beth said enthusiastically.
We stopped talking as two men approached us. They were both tall, over six feet, and wearing business suits. It was clear they didn’t fit in at the bar anymore than we did. They seemed like the all American kind of guys, and I was happy to entertain their flirting.
“You two ladies look like you need some company. I’m Malcolm, and this is Matt,” the guy brown haired handsome one of the two said as he pressed his hand forward to shake mine.
“I’m Kristina, and this is Beth. Nice to meet you.”
“You two beautiful women shouldn’t be sitting here alone. Let us buy you some drinks and join you.”
“Sure,” Beth blurted out before I could offer any answer.
Malcolm sat near me and Matt near Beth; they had decided which of us they wanted. There was a desire in Malcolm’s eyes as he looked at me, and I couldn’t deny that it was exciting to see that. What woman didn’t like a sexy guy flirting with her? I’m sure there were women who would say they didn’t like it, but I loved it.
“What are you drinking?” Malcolm asked as the waitress approached us.
“Long Island iced tea.”
“A girl after my own heart. I love how strong they are, and they taste like sweet tea going down. My biggest problem is I drink too many whenever I have them.” He laughed.
It was boring banter, but it wasn’t horrible so far. I looked him up and down, and I certainly could imagine him in my bed, his big frame over me as he thrust hard on top of me. I felt my body reacting with a little pleasure as I looked at his large hands. There was an old saying about the size of a man’s hands coinciding with the size of his member; this guy was going to be huge if that was true.
“Yeah, I’ve already had a couple; this will have to be my last one.”
“I’ll buy you as many as you’d like,” he said with a wink.
“So do you work around here?” I asked as we continued with the banter.
“I’m a little further north, but my apartment is just down the block.”
“Oh, so you’re nearby.” I laughed.
“Just a fact; I’m not implying anything.” He laughed, also.
Our conversation flowed easily, and after about an hour, I was feeling pretty confident that I was going to have a nice hunk to go home with for the night. After the day I had just had, some relaxation and stress relief was just what I needed.
The problem I always seemed to have was that I liked guys who were decent men. Nothing about Malcolm was scary or disheartening. I didn’t pick up on any bad vibes or concerns. There was even a moment when I thought I could actually date a guy like this; I could actually date this man. But those thoughts happened with every guy I considered going home with; inevitably, nothing worked out past one night.
On occasion, I’d kept a man around for a few weeks, but if they weren’t interested in moving things forward, I wasn’t interested in keeping them around. There was this illusion that a woman couldn’t deal with a one-night stand; it wasn’t true. I could deal with them just fine as long as I knew what I was getting into from the beginning. The times that pissed me off was when guys pretended like they were looking for something more just so they could get laid. Honesty was important; just tell it like it was, and I’d probably still go home with them; lie, and I’d rather go home alone.
“I’m going to run to the restroom for a second,” I said as I grabbed Beth and pulled her with me. “We will be right back.”
“I’m totally going home with Matt,” Beth blurted out as soon as we made it back near the restrooms.
“I’m going to Malcolm’s too, I think.”
We didn’t actually go into the bathroom and instead stood and talked for a few minutes about our dates. It was pretty unusual to have two decent guys show up to talk to us like they had. It was hard enough to find one decent guy, but two of them were an anomaly for sure. We felt like we had hit the jackpot of random bar men.
“Oh, shit!” Beth said as she grabbed my arm and pointed at the guys. “They are drugging our drinks. Can you believe that crap?”
We both looked on as Malcolm poured a powder into both of our drinks. I had never actually witnessed such a thing, and it took me a minute to figure out what was going on. I knew better than to leave my drink alone with a guy, but this guy hadn’t given me anything to be concerned about. He seemed so normal; we were getting along. I was going to go home with him. Why on earth was he slipping a drug into my drink?
“What the hell. We were both going to go home with them anyways. I don’t get it. Stupid men.”
Before I had even finished my sentence, Beth was already on her way back to the guys. She was pissed and looked like she was ready to destroy them. Hell had no fury as horrible as Beth when she was angry. Luckily, she had never been that angry with me, but I’d seen some people on the other end of her anger, and I was certain this wasn’t going to turn out well for Matt or Malcolm.
“Those pieces of dirt, how dare they.”
“Beth, calm down. I want to see what the hell they are up to. Follow my lead and just pretend to drink for a minute with me. But don’t actually drink any of it.”
“I don’t like this at all. I’m usually the one with the plans.” She laughed.
“Hey,” I said as I grabbed for the drink I had just watched Malcolm drug.
I didn’t actually drink from it but did a convincing motion like I was drinking. Was this guy’s whole motive to drug girls and get them back to his apartment? It seemed so out of place for such a decent looking guy who could actually manage a conversation. I’d always thought guys like him were ugly or something like that.
“My place is only a little bit away. Would you like to come home with me?” he asked.
“Maybe,” I said demurely as I pretended to drink again and then did a dramatic stumble as I leaned over and whispered in Beth’s ear, “I’m so drunk,” I said much louder than a real whisper.
“I don’t think you should go anywhere,” Beth said as she pretended to drink as well.
The two of us talked to each other and started to slur our words as we pretended to be drugged by whatever it was that they had put into our drinks. I wrapped my arms around Beth, and she held me up as if I couldn’t actually stand on my own. The two of us were pretty impressive actresses if I do say so; Malcolm seemed convinced enough that he started to talk with Matt about the plans for the evening.
“Follow us back to my place,” Malcolm said as he handed Matt a couple of hundred dollars. “Drop that one off for me, and you can go.”
“Are you sure I can’t play with her first?” Matt joked.
“Sure, I don’t care. She’ll be passed out in ten minutes, though, so we better hurry up.”
“What the hell is going on?” I screamed. “You’re some sort of maniac that drugs women and sleeps with them? And your friend here helps you? You two are sick!”
I threw my drink in Malcolm’s face, and Beth threw hers shortly after that. We stormed up to the bartender and pointed the two guys out so he could call the cops, but of course, Malcolm and Matt took off as soon as they saw us identifying them.
“I’ve got their credit cards on file,” the bartender said as he continued to call the police. “Maybe they can do something about them? We also have video; thanks for letting us know.”
“Doubtful the police will do anything. There’s no proof since we threw our drinks at them,” I sulked as Beth and I made our way away from the bartender. “These are t
he types of guys that are left out there, Beth. This is it. I’m going to have to settle for a douche bag, or I’m just going to have to be happy as a single woman and maybe even just go have a test-tube baby.”
“No, you need to at least give Millionaire Matching and Patty a try. Promise me!”
I didn’t want to promise her anything. The Millionaire Matching thing seemed much more possible for young twenty-something women with huge tits and a perfect body. That wasn’t me; I was thirty now and thin like a model, with enough curves to make me happy, but probably not enough for a millionaire who is going through a matchmaker. I envisioned those men only being interested in huge fake boobs.
“You’re not going to let me say no, are you?”
“No,” she said with a laugh.
“None of those guys are looking for a thirty-year-old woman, and if they are, it’s probably one of those weirdos with a redhead fetish. I don’t want to go through that, and I don’t want to date some super old guy.”
“I’ll help you set up your online profile.” Beth beamed as she grabbed my arm, and we walked to the cabs. “We can tell Patty what your age limits are. I’m sure there are some really nice guys in their thirties and forties who would kill to date a woman like you.”
“Fine, but I’m only saying yes as a last resort. I’ll give it a couple of months, and then I’m just moving on with life. I’ll probably have to get a new job anyways, so I’ll just make sure it’s one that has great healthcare and can pay for my artificial insemination.”
“What if you find the perfect guy, Kristina? What if there’s a guy out there that is just right for you, and you are just right for him? Plus he’s rich! This could work out very well for you. I have a good feeling about it.”
“Then why aren’t you doing it?”
“I am, but I can’t seem to get matched up with anyone. Patty says I’m too immature still. I think she’s purposely not matching me up.”
I couldn’t help laughing. Beth didn’t seem like she could take care of herself yet, that was for sure; it was probably a good thing that Patty wasn’t connecting her with some rich sugar daddy. Beth was on a path of her own, and I suspected someday soon she was going to find what she was passionate about.
“I can’t believe you’re talking me into this.”
“Give me your phone; I’ve got the password to set up an account for you.”
“Already?”
“Yeah, I emailed Patty earlier when we were talking about this. I was going to set up your profile without you, but I’m glad you came around and said yes. I have a really good feeling about this. I think you’re about to find the man of your dreams.”
“What if I would have said no? You really would have set it up without me knowing?”
“I would have set it up without you.” She laughed. “Sure thing, I’m okay with a little deceit if it results in you finding a love match.”
Chapter 3
Merrick
After spending nearly two days going through the entire online profile setup, I finally gained access to my special online area where Patty connected me with potential matches. It was surprisingly less exciting than I thought it would be. Basically, Patty gave me access to women’s profiles that she thought would be a good match for me. She made notes by them about why she saw them as a good match, and it was left up to me to contact them. I wasn’t exactly sure what I had envisioned the process looking like, but it certainly seemed more exciting in my head.
On Sunday morning after my investment club meeting with my friends, I sat down and began the process of analyzing profiles to see if there were any women that I wanted to go out with. Patty had compiled a list of amazing women. The women she matched me up with all had college degrees and a career, which was instantly a relief for me. I could date a ditzy model anytime I wanted, they were a dime a dozen. If I was going to consider a solid relationship, the woman was going to have to offer me more than just a pretty body.
After reading profiles for almost an hour, it was a relief when Dean called and wanted to drop by. He had recently settled down with a hot young actress, named Angelina, and they split their time between New York and Los Angeles; although they were in L.A. more often lately.
Dean and I hadn’t been close when we first met, but over his year in New York and his involvement in the investment club, I’d come to count on his opinions. He was the only one in my tight circle who was older than me and actually had some serious life experiences that I could trust.
“Hey, man, how are you?” I said as I greeted Dean at my door.
“Doing really good man, just in town for the day, and I missed you at the investment meeting. I had a chance to see Wyatt and Ren but wanted to stop by and catch up.”
“Should we go grab a beer?”
“Actually, I’m on this healthy juicing thing right now. Do you mind heading to one of the juice bars?”
“Wow, this girl really does have you wrapped around her fingers.”
I couldn’t believe how much Dean had changed since meeting Angelina. He was more confident than he had ever been while in New York. Although, while he did his play on Broadway he had no problem meeting ladies, there was a general level of sadness about him back then. Now, with Angelina and love in his life, Dean was smiling from ear to ear. He looked fit and in better shape than I’d ever seen him, and he was making a huge comeback with his movie career.
“Man, I can’t tell you how often I think that, but I don’t care. I’d rather be wrapped around her sexy ass fingers than be without her.”
“Well, a good cup of juice never hurt anyone.” I laughed. “Let’s go. I could use your advice on my own dating dilemma.”
We made our way down the block to the only juice bar I knew of in my neighborhood. I hadn’t actually gone in there before, but I wasn’t getting any younger. A little healthiness would be good for me. I’d walked past the place at least a hundred times, but I had no idea what to order and didn’t want to look like one of those crazy people who stood in the juice line for an hour. Healthiness hadn’t really been on my radar until I turned forty, then I suddenly started caring about what was happening to my body.
“So I signed up for a matchmaking service,” I said with a look of disgust on my face. “Am I totally crazy?”
I looked around the juice bar and felt pretty damn crazy. Everyone was dressed in workout clothes and seemed like they were on the way to the gym or just getting done with their workouts. I looked wildly out of place with my business suit.
“Good for you, Merrick. I’m not sure you’re ready for it.” He laughed. “But good for you. No, I don’t think you are crazy.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I am either. I’m on the fence about it, but maybe I’ll find a good match?”
“My advice is to date a few girls that you know aren’t right for you but are still decent women. You’ve been dating a lot of bad apples; it will be good for you to see some nice women. It might give you some clarity on what it is you are really looking for.”
I grabbed my phone and pulled up the online for Millionaire Matching. Patty had added even more women, and it was overwhelming. The think about it all was that I didn’t see any of the women I had dated as being bad apples. They were each unique, and I’d loved that about them. I wasn’t sure I was going to pick women that were any different, even given a better crop of women to choose from.
“Look, they are all beautiful, intelligent, and seem like the perfect combination. How the hell am I supposed to choose?”
“Since when is choosing a problem for you? Just go out with them, have some fun.”
“I had to sign a contract that I wasn’t going to sleep with them.”
“Ouch, ever? You’re not going to sleep with them ever?”
“No, Patty has a policy about being in a committed relationship, though, and I agreed.” I could see Dean’s wheels turning in his head exactly like they had for me. “And yes, I did consider just making it a committed relationship r
ight away.” I laughed.
“This is going to be a challenge for you. Are you interested in getting married? What is your goal with these dates?”
“I don’t want to seem like a jerk here, and I wouldn’t say this to anyone else, but they all seem about the same to me. I am interested in something more than what I’ve been doing so far. I have no idea what that will entail, but I want a woman that is my match. She doesn’t have to be perfect to everyone, just perfect to me.”
“I get you,” Dean said as he scrolled through the list. “You’ll need to delve deeper than usual. Read between the lines a little. Like this one, it says she spends a lot of time in the Hamptons.”
“Dean, what’s wrong with the Hamptons?”
“Oh, come on. You know the type of woman who likes to go out there all the time. She’s more into social status than anything else. That’s something to pay attention to. Women are going to make their profile look appealing, and that’s great; you should do the same thing with yours. What is important is to see what they are telling you, without them actually telling you.”
“Oh, man! You’re right!” I hadn’t thought about that at all when I had read her profile. “What about this one? I don’t see anything alarming.”
Dean read over the profile of a nice looking brunette. She was tall, thin, smart, and sexy; certainly, there wasn’t anything wrong from what I could see on her profile. He looked through it and then scrolled to the top again.
“I’d go out with her,” he joked. “The only thing I think you should watch out for is this sentence right here.”
“Looking for an honest man,” I read. “What’s wrong with that? Honesty is an important thing for me too. Are you telling me that her looking for honesty is a bad thing?”
“In my experience, it means she was hurt badly by some jerk and isn’t over it. If she starts talking about him, run for the hills.”
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