We both laughed as we sipped our green health drinks and analyzed the other women that Patty had sent over for me to review. After we were done, I had narrowed down the group of women to three that I wanted to go on a date with.
“You know, for once I’d just like to see a woman who puts it all out there in one of these profiles.” Dean laughed. “Like states exactly what she wants, what she has no idea about, and who she really is. It does seem like we have to guess about everything.”
“There’s an art to selling yourself, I guess. I don’t fault a woman for putting her best foot forward. I just don’t have the time or energy to date them all to figure out who is a good fit for me.”
“One thing I can tell you is you’ll know it when you come across the girl. When I matched up with Angelina, it wasn’t love at first sight, but I knew there was something special about her. She drove me crazy, and none of the other women did that. Even if a girl doesn’t look perfect on paper, but you’ve got a feeling about her, give her a date. That’s the best advice I have.”
“I don’t get those kinds of feelings about women,” I said with a laugh. “I like them all.”
“No, this will be different. She’ll annoy you. She’ll make you laugh. You’ll put your phone away and find yourself wondering if she messaged you. You might even think she’s not at all the person you’re looking for, but there’s a connection between the two of you that you just can’t deny. That’s when you know it’s the girl.”
“Wish me luck, then, because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Good luck.” Dean laughed as we toasted with our green juice. “To your happily ever after, may you find it when you least expect it.”
“Ha, yep, I don’t know if I’m ready for happily ever after yet. I’ll settle for happily in the moment.”
***
Date number one was with Cynthia, a financial broker from New York with blonde hair and big boobs. Of course, I wasn’t going out with her because of her physical attributes, but they were a bonus. When I arrived at her door to pick her up, I instantly knew this girl wasn’t for me.
There was a strong odor coming from her apartment long before she actually opened the door. When she did open the door, the odor practically knocked me off my feet. It smelt like an actual zoo in her apartment, I couldn’t understand how that was even possible in the middle of Manhattan. I’d never been to a woman’s apartment that smelt as badly as this one did. I wanted to turn around and run in the other direction, but I already had her standing right there in front of me.
“Wow,” I said more in response to the smell than to her looks, although she was very beautiful.
“Thank you; it’s nice to finally meet you.”
She grabbed her coat and shut the apartment door, but there was no stopping the smell that still lingered. She was drenched in the stench, and I could only hope that the farther away from her apartment that we got, the better she was going to smell. Because at that moment, I couldn’t imagine making it through a single drink with this woman let alone a whole date.
“Do you have a lot of animals?” I asked as we walked down the hallway.
“Oh, yes, I love animals. I’ve got three dogs, four cats, and eight birds. I used to have a bat, but one of the cats ate it.”
I wanted to stop the date right then and there and plead false advertising. She should have mentioned her extreme penchant for animals in her profile. I’m an animal lover as much as the next guy, but when you have more animals than family members, it’s just too much.
I pushed through it though because I didn’t want to be the jerk who ran out on his first date through the Millionaire Matching program. For three long hours, I pretended to be interested in this girl, and we enjoyed a nice dinner and drinks. If I didn’t have a contract with Patty, I probably would have brought her back to my place, but I didn’t, and instead walked her to her door and said my goodnights I was at least going to be a gentleman and walk her to her door.
“It was nice meeting you. I wish you the best in finding your match,” I said bluntly at her door.
I didn’t stick around for small talk, but at least I had actually walked her back to her door. I had considered dropping her off at the front of the building but decided against it at the last moment. I wasn’t a cruel man, but I also wasn’t the right man for this girl, that was for sure.
“You too,” she replied with a fake smile.
By the next morning, Patty was calling me, and I knew I was in trouble.. At least I hadn’t slept with the girl. That was my only saving grace as I answered her call and prepared to explain what had happened.
“You’re not even trying!” Patty yelled.
“Oh, I tried.”
“You brushed her off.”
“No, I was up front and honest with her. You should be praising me. I didn’t sleep with her. You don’t want me to pretend to like someone when I don’t, right? I should have canceled the date the moment I picked her up, but I didn’t. I gave her a chance.”
“You didn’t even like her; why would you sleep with her? Oh, don’t even tell me. Okay, so why were you going to cancel the date when you picked her up?”
“I liked her enough to sleep with her. Nothing has ever stopped me from sleeping with a beautiful woman before,” I argued. “She smelled like a zoo and had more animals in her apartment than anyone I’ve ever met.”
I expected Patty to fight me on this one, but she paused for a minute and seemed to be flipping through some papers.
“She said she likes animals in her profile,” Patty said flatly. “I didn’t realize she was so extreme about it. But you can’t just brush them off like that. Try a little more tact next time, please.”
“I’ll try.” I laughed. “I’m going out with Robyn, the elementary school teacher next.”
“She’s nice, but I don’t think you two are going to hit it off now. It’s probably not a match. Have you already scheduled your date?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, but be nice to her; she’s a fragile one.”
“Fine, but why don’t you try to find me some better matches? None of these girls seem like a good fit for me. I mean they are nice women, obviously beautiful, but I need more personality in a woman.”
“I’ll see what I can find.”
My date with Robyn, the elementary school teacher wasn’t horrible. She was a nice girl, and I was positive she’d find a match someday, but I just wasn’t it. The chemistry between us was nonexistent, and I could hardly keep my eyes open as she talked about the children in her class for over an hour. I commended her on dedicating her life to children, but it wasn’t the kind of life I had, and I found it difficult to imagine the two of us having much in common.
“Thank you for going out with me. I appreciate your time, and I really hope you at least enjoyed our evening.”
“Oh, yes, I did. It’s hard to know if you’re right for someone until you go out with them. I don’t think we are a good fit, though. What do you think?”
“Probably not.”
“Well, maybe you’ll find your match, or maybe God has some other plan for you. Enjoy your evening,” she said as she got up to leave the restaurant.
“I have to insist on taking you home,” I said as I quickly followed her.
“I’m okay.”
“No, Patty would be angry with me.” I laughed. “I can’t be a jerk. It’s in my contract.”
“Okay then, only for Patty.”
Robyn let me ride in the Uber with her back to her apartment, and we said goodbye. She was a really nice woman, and I genuinely hoped she found her match, although I didn’t think she was going to find it on the Millionaire Matching site unless she was willing to give up her job.
It was horrible to think, but most of the millionaires probably were looking for a woman who didn’t work. What a contradiction that was. We wanted smart, independent women, but then wanted them to give up their jobs and follow us around so we didn’t
have to coordinate with their schedules..
I went out with the last woman that I had liked from the batch of Patty’s matches. Sahara was a dancer and had a lean dancer’s body. She had a picture of her dancing in a ballet, and I liked that. The artistic type of woman was always someone I enjoyed being around. Although I wasn’t very artistic myself, I thought that personality type complemented me well.
It turned out that Sahara had been lying about her history and was actually an ex-stripper and just looking for a sugar daddy. When I told Patty this, she was irate and vowed to ban the girl from her program forever. It was a nice gesture, but I felt bad because I was sure she would have matched up with one of the men eventually. Most of the men I knew would overlook a woman’s history if it meant they got to have a beautiful woman on their arm.
I was done with the dating site for the time being. Patty needed to find me some better matches or at least some women who were honest. I didn’t have time for traditional dating, and that was why I had paid so much to join the exclusive millionaire club. I wanted that perfect match, the woman I wouldn’t be able to live without. I wanted what I saw Dean and Wyatt had. It was funny because I hadn’t been so agreeable to the whole forever loving a woman thing until I had seen how happy those two guys were.
Perhaps I was expecting too much in going to the club. Visions of sexy women throwing themselves at me were a little too much, but I didn’t think dating was this hard. Then again, I hadn’t dated much with the purpose of having a relationship. My history in the dating world was much more concentrated on the short term. Although I logically knew these two worlds were different, I hadn’t been aware of how vastly different they were when it came to the quality of woman I was looking for.
Patty was surprisingly scary to me, though. I didn’t want it to get back to her again that I wasn’t being appropriate with one of her girls because I was pretty sure she’d kick me out of her club for good. Even though I wasn’t sure I’d find the perfect girl for me right away, or that I’d be ready for her if I did, I didn’t want the opportunity to be taken away from me.
My phone dinged with a notification, and I got a little excited as I went back into the Millionaire Matching application. Who had Patty Matched me up with now?
Chapter 4
Kristina
“Hi, Kristina, this is Patty Stillman from Millionaire Matching. I received your profile, and I have someone I’d like to match you up with. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience.”
“Why is Patty calling me?” I asked Beth as we sat at the coffee shop one Sunday afternoon.
As usual, the coffee shop was packed with millennial getting their morning fix of caffeine even on a Sunday morning. The smooth jazz music played in the background but was drown out by the chatter of all the conversations going on around us.
“I don’t know. Maybe she wants you to meet someone.”
“But I didn’t finish setting up a profile,” I said as I stared her down.
“What? You didn’t?” Beth smiled as she coyly drank her coffee.
“You set it up, didn’t you?”
“You were never going to do it. I couldn’t wait forever. I wanted to see if she would find you a match. You should be happy. She actually called you? What did she say?”
“She said she has someone she wants to match me up with and to give her a call,” I replied reluctantly. “I’m not ready for this. What am I going to have to talk to some millionaire about? I can hardly talk to the dorks who hit on me now.”
I wasn’t sure I was ready to be matched up with a millionaire. Those guys were looking to get married, to find the woman they were going to stay with forever; that was a lot of pressure on me. How was I supposed to deal with that kind of pressure when I was just getting into dating real guys and not losers?
“Well call her back.”
“What if she wants me to go out with some old guy? What if he’s a total nerd? How am I supposed to deal with this? Oh, my gosh. Beth, this is crazy. She already has a match. ”
“She won’t set you up with someone horrible; I know her, and she wouldn’t do that. I specifically put your age range on there. I know you; I made sure she knew the kind of guy that would be best for you.”
“What’s my age range?” I laughed. “I don’t even know what my age range is; how could you know, Beth? What kind of guy is best for me? You don’t know these things if I don’t know them yet.”
“I put that they could be from twenty-five to forty-five.”
“That’s good. Okay, what else did you put on my profile? Did you put real pictures of me? I don’t like it when people put up pictures from a long time ago or pictures where they don’t really look like themselves.”
“I’ll show you the profile in a minute; just call Patty back already. I want to know who she fixed you up with.”
I dialed Patty back, and my nerves had me shaking a little bit. It was all happening so fast. I had just been talked into the whole dating thing, and she had already found someone for me to go out with. My mind flashed to scenes from the movies, and I couldn’t help wondering who this guy was going to be.
“Hi, Patty. This is Kristina Masters, returning your call.”
“Oh, yes Kristina. I’m so happy we connected. I’d like to go through your profile with you and see if I can match you up. I think there are a few different men who you could match with. Do you have a minute?”
“Of course,” I replied as I eyed Beth. I was supposed to go over a profile that I hadn’t even seen yet.
“You have red hair. Is it naturally red or are you naturally another hair color?”
“It’s naturally red, although I do have it dyed to brighten up the color and give me some dimension,” but I’m not looking to date guys who only want to go out with me because of my hair.”
“Of course; I totally understand. I’ll make sure that you’re a match in many other ways. In fact, I’ve got a gentleman who I think might work out perfectly for you. He’s in his mid-twenties and a radio jockey here in town. His name is Jeb he’s a sweet guy and would make a good first date.”
“Jeb?” I snickered at the name. “Really?”
“Yeah, he’s really nice and around your age, but he does spend his evenings working in the clubs.”
“Do you send his profile to me or what do you do? I’m not sure I would be a good match for someone who likes to go out to the clubs all the time. I don’t mind going out, but I’m a little more laid back than that.”
“I would add you to his available list if that was alright with you.”
“Sure. Do you have any others?” I asked as I looked around the coffee shop to see if anyone besides Beth was paying attention to my conversation. Of course, no one was. Everyone in New York knew how to focus in the midst of chaos, except me. I found myself glancing around at the tables near us and distracted as I tried to refocus on what Patty was saying.
“Yes, I’ve got a couple of finance executives that I think you would work well for. Do you mind if I add you to their profiles so they can contact you if they are interested?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“Oh, wait. I’ve got one in particular that I think would really work well for you. His name is Merrick. You know I really think you two would hit it off. Would you mind if I just gave him your number, and he could give you a call to set up a date?”
“Without seeing his profile?”
“I’ll send it over to you, but I’d like to send him your information right away if that is okay with you? The two of you might just be a perfect fit.”
“I guess, but I’m still really nervous about this whole thing,” I muttered.
The truth was that I was extremely nervous. My hands were literally shaking at the idea of some millionaire calling me up and asking me out before I even knew what he looked like. I wasn’t some sort of dating expert who could go on a date with ease; I got nervous, and this guy was already making me really nervous.
“To tell
you the truth, I’m not sure he’s ready for a commitment yet, and I’ve got a rule about no sex before a commitment. Even though you two would make a good match, just keep that in mind. He is a good first date for you to get you started. If you two hit if off, that’s great, but I’m not sure Merrick has the hang of this whole dating thing just yet.” Patty laughed. “He’s one of those guys who has been playing the field so long that he has no idea what it is he’s really looking for. He’s a nice looking man, though, and very sweet. You could just go out with him for a relaxing date and to have some fun. If it doesn’t work out, I’m sure I have plenty of other men we could set you up with.”
“Alright, but please send over his profile too so I can take a look.”
“I’ll get it over to you first thing tomorrow. I have a good feeling about you, Kristina; I don’t think it will be long before we have you matched up.”
***
By Monday morning, Patty still hadn’t sent me the profile, and I was back to my busy job. We’d been working our butts off to get donations, but they just weren’t coming in like we had hoped for. Cold calling people was one of the worst parts of my job. I honestly didn’t think it was possible to get people to donate through cold calls, but I just wanted to be able to get their emails so I could send them information about our upcoming events. Email addresses were valuable to me, so we had to build up our list before we could plan an event large enough to sustain the dollar amount we needed to get in donations.
I had September working with me on that day and the two of us had taken over our small corner of the office. She was a young nineteen-year-old student at NYU and was horrible at making cold calls for donations but fantastic at getting them to sign up for our newsletters. It was a good compromise for me, and I had made a goal of us signing up 200 people for our newsletter that day. We had added almost 1,000 people the previous week, but we had four people calling, and I couldn’t afford to take everyone off their regular tasks on Mondays.
“Okay, so I’m going to call this list,” I said as I grabbed one of the sheets of paper. “You call that one and let's see who can get more people to commit to the newsletter.”
Four Reasons to Come Page 73