by Alicia Rae
As I passed a few stalls, I was unfamiliar with the names displayed above the horses’ hay feeders. I figured they were new horses the ranch had acquired in my absence. When I reached the end of the line, I still hadn’t seen Foster, so I looped around to the other side and began to go up the opposing row.
Halfway up the other side, I halted dead in my tracks as a name tag came into plain view. The name Bentley was written in white. A vivid flashback of that dreadful day on September 10 consumed my every thought, pulling me into the past.
I leaned my back against Bentley’s forequarter and looped my arms around Colton, pulling him toward me until our foreheads were touching. The movement tipped his cowboy hat up, revealing the rest of his stunning face to me. He placed one hand on my hip to hold me steady and rested his other forearm on the saddle above my head, caging me in.
I gave him my most loving smile while staring into those soft baby-blue eyes of his. “We still have a few hours before nightfall. Where should we ride to now?”
“Hmm…” Colton drawled in his Southern accent before brushing his lips along mine.
My insides filled with butterflies as he tenderly kissed me.
He drew back and dragged his lips over to my ear where he whispered, “Anywhere you want to go.”
But his delicious full lips had left me wanting more of him. His kisses were always distracting me in the best of ways, leaving me to yearn for another taste of him, so I pulled him back down against me for a second kiss.
Colton eagerly yanked my body flush against his, and his one hand lifted to cup my face as he deepened our kiss. I moaned against his lips, loving their softness and fullness.
I loved spending time with him, especially when it was just us like this. He was my favorite place.
Bentley snorted loudly behind me, causing us to break apart and laugh.
“Hey, there. Easy, bud.” Colton maneuvered himself to pat Bentley’s hindquarter. “We didn’t forget about you.”
“So, how about riding over to the open prairie just on the other side of the river? We can go to our favorite spot and let Bentley and Missy graze while we eat some lunch.” I had packed my saddlebag with all sorts of Colton’s favorite munchies.
Colton’s eyes shifted as if he were contemplating the idea, and then he shook his head. “We’d have to cross the river to get there, and I don’t think that’s a good idea with how much rainfall we’ve had these last few days.”
Colton was a major worrywart, especially when it came to my safety. It was one of the many reasons I’d fallen head over heels in love with him.
“We both know I have ridden in worse conditions before,” I responded, knowing I had crossed that river a gazillion times over the years. Ignoring Colton’s concerned expression, I slipped out from between him and Bentley. “Come on! Let’s get going, so we can make it back home before sunset!”
“All right.” Colton sighed.
I ambled over to Missy, my nine-year-old saddlebred horse. Only a few feet away from us, she was chomping down on the grass to her heart’s content.
I heard Colton’s footsteps as he began to saunter up to me. I spun around to face him, watching his muscles gracefully move in all the right ways beneath his blue plaid shirt. I licked my lips, playing out images in my mind of how I wanted to spend our time together at the prairie. There were endless possibilities, and I didn’t want to waste any more time.
Suddenly, Colton’s brows drew together, his expression stern, breaking my divine daydream.
“But slow and steady across the water. If it’s too deep or if the current is too fast, we are turning around—no exceptions. Got it?”
“Yes, sir.” I winked, stifling my chuckle.
He was sexy as hell when he got all serious on me.
As one, Colton and I neared Missy. He set his hands on my waist and lifted me onto my mare. I didn’t need the help, but he was always a gentleman.
He strolled back over to Bentley, hooked his boot in the stirrup, and effortlessly hopped up onto his leather saddle. Then, he grabbed his reins and looked over his shoulder at me. “Do you want me to lead this time, or would you like to?”
It really didn’t matter who was in front since we both knew these parts like the backs of our hands.
Anticipating the view of his denim-clad rear hugging that saddle, I was a goner. “I’ll follow.”
As our horses trotted along the path toward the river, Colton was the first to break the silence. “This time next year, I’m hoping we’ll be able to take Foster out on his first trail ride.”
“I can’t wait to see how he is under the saddle,” I said in awe.
“Me either. If Foster is anything like his sire, he’s going to ride like a dream.”
I nodded my head in agreement. Foster’s father had superb conformation and agility, and he had been a brilliant horse during his competition days. Missy was Foster’s broodmare, who also had excellent bloodlines.
I took in the surroundings we were traveling through. Neither of our parents owned these parts, but our families knew the owners, and we had permission to be on the premises.
“It really is beautiful out here,” I said right as we finally approached the river.
“Yes, I would love to own a chunk of this land someday.” He reached the edge of the water and appeared to be assessing it. “I don’t like the looks of this, Paige.” He grimaced. “The water is deep, and it makes the underlying current that much more unpredictable.”
I stopped Missy, keeping her a safe distance behind Bentley, as I evaluated the area, too. The conditions were risky, but it was nothing we hadn’t done before. “But we’re so close to the prairie.” I noticed the north side wasn’t nearly as deep as the south, so I lifted my arm and gestured to show him my idea. “What if we stay in the shallow parts?”
Colton eyed the path for several moments. “Fine. We’ll try to cross.” He sighed heavily. “But stay to the far left, and don’t veer from my tracks. I mean it, Paige.” He tilted his head toward the intended pathway.
“You got it,” I responded, leaning forward in my saddle to affectionately rub Missy’s neck.
Then, we guided Bentley and Missy through the mud banks outlining the river. Our weight on the horses made them sink several inches below the ground, causing a loud suction noise to sound off each time they lifted their hooves for the next step.
Colton dipped Bentley down into the river first, and the water reached nearly halfway up his legs. Without hesitation, Missy went in right after Bentley. She momentarily bent down to scoop up a drink of water before continuing onward. Meanwhile, I mentally absorbed every step she took on the rocks at the bottom of the river, preparing for whatever might come our way.
“The current is picking up,” Colton warned as we approached a third of the way across the water.
I slowed Missy down as a precaution and reevaluated our intended course. The water was deeper, and the current was more powerful than originally expected.
“I don’t like it, Paige.” Colton shook his head. “We are going back—now.”
“I agree.” I allowed Missy to take one more forward step, so she could find a comfortable stance to turn around.
In that instant, her back leg slipped on a rock, and I let out a shriek as I was heavily jolted to the right. Missy strained to catch herself, and in turn, she moved directly into the path of the current.
I could feel the cool tears running down my face. I tried to pull myself out of reliving the nightmare as I heard footsteps gently hitting the concrete at a close proximity, but I was powerless to stop the events from replaying in my mind.
“Paige!” Colton yelled, spinning Bentley around. The look in his eyes was of sheer terror. He quickly jumped off his horse, and without a moment for a second thought, he started running through the river toward me.
But it was too late.
Missy slipped farther into deeper water. She released the loudest, most heartrending neigh I had ever heard as sh
e desperately tried to regain her balance. Her rear legs bowed down beneath the surface, drenching me with ice-cold water. I frantically wiggled my leg in hopes of freeing my left foot tangled in the stirrup, but it was stuck from her rapid movements.
Then, with lightning speed and an incredible force, Missy and I were pulled under the water.
I wrapped my arms around my center as I shivered while recalling the next several instances of that day, which were a blur to some extent. I remembered the current pulling me under, not wanting to let me go, and the excruciating force of Missy’s weight slamming me against a rock. My femur had snapped in two, and my leg had been cut wide open. The most wretched panic had set in during that time, and I’d feared that I didn’t stand a chance at making it out of the river. Due to the magnitude of my injuries, I had been too weak to fight back against the current that was dragging me farther away from the shore.
Then, by some miracle, Colton had managed to find me. He’d gotten his arms around my waist before pulling me to a fallen tree trunk lying on the edge of the water. I’d never forget the profound sense of relief and gratitude that had coursed through me. I’d felt beyond thankful to be alive and lying in his arms.
To this day, I couldn’t forgive myself for not only taking Missy’s life, but for also nearly taking Colton’s life and my life in the process. I had been foolish to ignore Colton’s many warnings as I’d thought it was safe to cross the river in those conditions.
The footsteps I’d heard earlier came to a halt behind me. Without even turning around, I knew that Colton was with me, yet I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
“You told me the water was too deep that day.” I cried at the loss of Missy. “It’s my fault that she’s gone,” I admitted the truth aloud to myself more than anyone. “I could have killed us both that day.”
Colton’s hand came to the side of my rib cage, and he gently spun me around until we were facing one another.
My admission was left dangling in the air as his domineering body towered over me. His eyes traveled a measured slow pace across my face as if he were memorizing every plane. The air between us intensified with each passing second.
On a hushed whisper, my name left his lips, “Paige…” His uneven tone was filled with longing, and his voice revealed the raw emotions I felt.
He lifted his other hand and tenderly brushed his knuckles down my cheek. My skin ignited, coming to life from his touch.
I allowed myself the same privilege and drank him in. It had been three long months since I last laid eyes on him, and I was taken aback by just how handsome he was. He was still as breathtaking as he’d always been.
His chocolate-brown hair, looking disheveled from his cowboy hat, was a bit longer than usual. His baby-blue eyes raked over me, perusing me with such a striking intensity. I was riveted by those eyes of his that could express an endless number of emotions. He didn’t need to speak one word because I could see what he was thinking.
I was unprepared to see the sadness reflecting back at me. It was then I knew that I had not only hurt myself, but I had also wounded him. The thought was unbearable, and I had no choice but to break our connection, glancing down at the ground.
Colton finally spoke, “You can’t keep blaming yourself, Paige.”
The familiarity of his deep voice warmed my insides, yet the painful memories remained, haunting me.
This was a conversation we’d had many times before, and it had driven a wedge between us. It had impacted my family and my life as I had once known it, too. I still didn’t know how to move past that traumatic day, especially since my leg served as a constant reminder of my poor judgment and actions.
I blinked and forced my eyes to scan the area before looking back at him. I needed to change the subject. “How did you know I was here?”
The look he gave me told me that he didn’t like my attempt at redirecting our conversation. It was something I’d always done, and he rarely ever let me get away with it.
His lips parted, and he answered, “That Gator of yours never was quiet.”
“That’s true,” I responded, keeping it simple because I was unsure of what else to say.
“You should have told me that you were stopping by tonight,” he said softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I would have come down to the barn with you.”
That was just it. Seeing Colton was what I had been trying so hard to avoid. I was an emotional train wreck, and I needed to get a grip on my life before I could even begin to think about him again.
He neared, closing what little space there was between us. He lowered his head and nuzzled his nose into my hair. “God, Paige, I’ve missed you so damn much,” he breathed.
I heard the heartache in his words, and it was simply more than my heart could take. I sensed the verge of a breakdown coming on, and I wasn’t prepared for him to see me like that.
I wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms, to forget the past year, to remember how much I’d loved this man since I was just a little girl. He was my first kiss, and he was supposed to be my last, yet I could not have felt more distant from him right now if I tried. I had no one to blame but myself.
My heart splintered into a million pieces, piercing my chest, as I backed out of his arms and looked up at him. “I have to go.”
I turned and headed in the direction from where I’d come. I was mindful to keep my movements slow, so he wouldn’t notice the slight limp I still had. Having him witness my physical impairment was the last thing I needed to add to the mix.
“Paige!” Colton called after me.
I paused at the desperation in his voice, and I glanced back at him over my shoulder. The light above him revealed the hurt in his eyes, and knowing I was the cause of it hit the depths of my soul, twisting and churning so deeply—not only for inflicting the emotions in him, but also for the loss of the precious love we had once shared.
“I’m sorry, so sorry, Colton,” I offered, keeping my tears at bay. “But I have to go.”
Without another word, I increased the distance between us.
When I was safely back in my parents’ home, I locked myself away in my childhood room. I let the grief wash over me as I cried myself to sleep.
I could only pray tomorrow would be brighter.
THE NEXT MORNING, it was a perfect day to release my pent-up aggravation on the dirty chores around the property. I spent the entire day shoveling horse manure out of each of the stalls before laying down fresh bedding in its place, cleaning the automatic trough system so that the horses would have fresh water, and moving hay bales into the front loft of the barn.
Sweat beaded on my forehead, and every muscle within my body screamed for me to stop. After wiping my face with my bandana, I forced myself to keep going. Things needed to be done around here, and I was the man for the job.
While working, I thought of my reunion with Paige last night. It had not gone as I’d anticipated. In the twenty years of knowing Paige, minus the past three months, I had only gone a handful of days here and there without seeing her. After being apart for so long, I had expected Paige to eagerly jump into my arms. Last night, I’d wanted nothing more than to yank her toward me, so I could kiss her hard with an assertiveness to show her that she was still mine. Then, I would have reverently moved my lips over hers to show her just how much I’d missed her.
I could tell by the look in her eyes that she still loved me, but something had been holding her back. It pissed me off to feel so helpless.
Well, that was about to change—big time.
Yes, Ashlee was right. Paige could be stubborn, but so could I.
In the next instant, it was as though a switch flipped within me, deepening my need to have Paige back in my arms.
I was going to swoop my girl off her feet.
After showering and dressing in a white T-shirt and jeans, I threw on my hat and my favorite dark leather cowboy boots before making my way down
to the barn. I hopped onto my Polaris Sportsman 570 camo four-wheeler, started the engine, and headed toward Paige’s house.
She had no knowledge of my plans, and I was hoping my surprise attack would work to my advantage. I’d also left early just in case I would need the extra time to convince her to spend the evening with me.
I brought my ATV to a stop at her back porch, and I turned off the motor. Dave, Paige’s father, was making his way from the barn to the house.
“Hello, sir,” I said, greeting her old man as we met at the stairs.
We both paused and glanced at one another.
“Howdy, Colton,” Dave responded with a genuine smile. “You must be here to see Paige.”
“Yes, sir.”
“She’s inside, helping her mom in the kitchen.” His eyes altered, looking curious. He set his arm on the railing and continued, “She didn’t mention that you were coming by.”
“That’s because it’s a surprise.” I grinned innocently.
“Oh.” Dave nodded with a laugh. “Would you like to come in and stay for supper?”
“Of course. I would never turn down one of Nancy’s meals.”
Paige’s father tilted his head to the side, and I could see his eyes from beneath the rim of his hat.
“Wise man.”
The two of us started to walk up the stairs together.
At the top, Dave hesitated and faced me. “One more thing,” he drawled.
“Yes?”
“Make my little girl smile again.” He gave me a manly slap on the back and then began ambling in the direction of the door.
“That’s the plan, sir,” I called after him.
Dave opened the back door and sauntered in first. I followed and then stepped out from behind him. Paige was setting the table. At the sight of me, her beautiful brown eyes went wide, and she almost dropped the handful of plates she was carrying.
“Good evening,” I drawled, accentuating my Southern accent that I knew she loved. I gave her my sexiest and most innocent smile.