(Glory St Clair 11) Real Vampires Say Read My Hips

by Gerry Bartlett

  “Ah, child, don’t feel bad about that. You had something to work with and you used it. Of course you were beautiful. It is a family gift. You are the image of me and your dear mother.” She smiled and my goblet was full again. I didn’t remember draining it.

  “It seems this family has many gifts. It took me a while but I finally learned to crave my own power, to not always be dependent on a man.” I glanced at Zeus again but he was busily giving Achelous an Olympus hot foot, setting fire to the god’s sandals.

  “I understand completely. Yes, power is important. But here in Olympus, it is still a man’s world. Your grandfather’s, I’m afraid. I struggle constantly to hold my own, but his word is law.” Hera smiled sadly. “Not that I am overly concerned with some of his dictates. A clever woman can do much here. I am proud that you survived as you did. Despite that bastard Achelous’s irresponsibility.” She frowned and sent a dart of fire toward Achelous again, this time with a blink of her brilliant blue eyes. It was a neat trick I wouldn’t mind learning. She smiled at me and nodded.

  “I’m glad that I didn’t make a good Siren, Grandmother. That I wasn’t good at killing. But I’ve learned it’s important to be able to defend myself.” I glanced at Achelous again. I didn’t like torture though. They should just go ahead and lock him up. This game of hurting him and making him scream sickened me.

  “You obviously have a tender heart. Don’t feel sorry for Achelous.” Grandmother waved a finger and the goblets disappeared. “Now tell me. What are you good at, Gloriana?”

  “She has her own business, Mother. The most adorable little shop.” My mother had obviously gotten tired of the “Fry Achelous” show too and stepped closer.

  I must have looked shocked because as far as I knew my mother hated my shop.

  “Really? You work? In trade?” Grandmother’s perfectly arched eyebrows couldn’t get any higher.

  “She’s into beautiful clothing, Mother. Vintage pieces. Jewels too.” My mother was spinning as fast as she could. She laughed and patted my shoulder. “And has the same love of shoes and handbags we share.”

  “Well, I suppose that is acceptable.” Grandmother looked thoughtful. I doubted a goddess ever had to earn a living when she could wave a fingertip and produce a new outfit with a thought. I hadn’t tried it yet but the very idea made my eyes sting. What a gift.

  “It was a way to survive on Earth. To gain my independence. I wanted to be a strong independent woman and I’ve made a success of my shop.” This truth made me straighten my shoulders and I felt better when my mother’s hand landed there, support I needed.

  “And do you have lovers, Gloriana?” Hera glanced at Zeus. “You will have inherited a lusty nature from your grandfather, all of his children and their children seem to have done so.”

  “Yes, I’ve just promised to marry the man who made me vampire all those years ago, Jeremiah Campbell. He is my one true love.” My mother’s hand tightened painfully on my shoulder. Guess she didn’t want me to share that.

  “Vampire?” Hera shook her head. “No, that will not do. I’m sure your mother explained things to you. Now that you are here, there will be no more of that vampire nonsense.”

  “I told you, Gloriana.” Mother gasped when I jumped up, grabbing the back of the chaise when the room wobbled.

  “It’s not nonsense. It’s what I am. Vampire.” I heard Achelous scream again. He was buried in molten lava. I was glad he was hurting, the sadistic bastard, but I didn’t have to stay and watch. “I need to go. I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “Gloriana.” My mother stayed by my side, offering her arm. “You cannot leave until Zeus gives his permission.”

  “Grandfather. I am unwell. May I go?” I raised my voice so he could hear me over Achelous’s pleas for mercy.

  “For now. But you must come back tomorrow. Your mother wants a celebration. To introduce you to the court. I like the idea. Dionysus will arrange a party. He has a talent for such things. We will invite everyone. Except this pitiful excuse for a god and Circe.” Zeus looked away from Achelous long enough to gesture at me and I went to him and got a kiss on the forehead. He smelled like ozone, acrid and hot. I was afraid for a moment that I was going to sneeze.

  Mother squeezed my arm. “Thank you, Father. That will be wonderful. Won’t it, Gloriana?”

  I managed a nod. “Yes, I, uh, I’m honored.” Can. Not. Sneeze. I stepped back, careful to avoid getting close to Achelous.

  “Excellent. The highlight of the evening will be when we tell your father about you. Won’t that be a fine surprise?” Zeus waved us away and went back to his torture. A ring of warriors surrounded Achelous, preparing to throw their spears at him.

  I was pretty sure I was going to hurl and almost ran out of the room.

  “Calm down, Gloriana. He was almost finished. I wanted to see Achelous’s face when he finds out he’s going to become mortal.” My mother held onto my arm.

  “Fine. Stay and watch the show. Just send a handmaiden with me to show me back to my room.” I had had more than enough of the Olympus drama. I wanted to go to bed and sleep for a week. I looked up as soon as the doors closed behind us. Blue sky. No sun but no stars either. No death sleep. I felt strange, not myself. I searched my memory and realized I was… hungry. And not for blood.

  “I’ll do that. And, Gloriana, I’ll order you some supper. You didn’t eat your breakfast and then drank Mother’s spiced wine. No wonder you are out of sorts. I will send you something delicious and then you can go to bed afterwards.” Mother patted my arm, obviously eager to get back inside. “I know it’s a bit overwhelming, but this went well, I think.”

  “Well?” I glanced back at that enormous door, sure I could still hear Achelous’s agonized screams. “They won’t accept what I am.”

  “What you were, you mean. Here you are perfect. Just what they love. A goddess.” Mother touched my cheek. “Now tomorrow is critical, of course, but we will pull it off. Mother has been wonderful, championing you. But don’t go on about your vampire lover. Hera can be pushed too far. I know that. She is happy now but she values wedding vows. Once she thinks on it, the fact that I betrayed Hercules with Mars will make her unhappy. She can take it out on you.”

  “No vampire talk. After seeing what Zeus is doing to Achelous, I’m not eager to piss off any of the gods. But don’t think I am over what you did, setting me up on a date with my own father. He kissed me on the lips, Mother. That’s an ick factor I don’t think I’ll ever get over.” I took a breath, relieved that the air was fresh out here.

  “Darling. I knew nothing significant would happen between you two. He and I…” she actually flushed and stared down at the stones under our feet, “Well, we have been lovers for thousands of years. He only went on the date with you to tease me. He is in love with me.” When she looked up her eyes were wet. “And I with him.”

  “Mother. You can’t ever be together? Isn’t there divorce here?” I actually felt sorry for her.

  “No. So we must meet in secret. Hide our true feelings in public. Your existence changes things but we will still have to be discreet.” She sighed. “Gloriana, I will never regret that you came from our love. And Mars will be so thrilled… Please don’t obsess over that one date. If he flirted with you, know that his heart wasn’t in it. He told me later that he truly liked you, but there was no passion between you.”

  “Well, I should hope not!” I couldn’t stand here much longer. Between my empty stomach and my reeling mind, I was minutes away from falling to the ground. “Forgetting the entire thing right now.” I sighed. “Now go enjoy seeing Achelous get his punishment. Send the handmaiden and supper. See you later. And, thanks.”

  “Thanks?” She stopped as she was turning away.

  “Yes. I may not appreciate everything that’s going on up here but you are obviously doing all of this, bringing me to Olympus, showing me off, out of love. And I, um, love you too.” I fell back when she slammed into me, hugging me fiercely.
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  “Darling. You can’t know what it means to hear you say that. Thank you! My precious daughter.” She dabbed at her eyes. “I will do anything for you, anything.”

  I bit back all the things I really wanted her to do. Why spoil the moment? But the time would come when I would test that love. Because I wasn’t staying here. No way in heaven or hell.

  #

  The great hall was filled with people. The crystal chandeliers had been restored and polished to a high shine and tables piled high with food and drink lined the walls. Either someone had gone to work with air freshener or magic had made any trace of Achelous and his frying punishment disappear. All I could smell were the delicious aromas of roast beef and fresh pastries.

  “Welcome to your first bacchanal, niece.” Dionysus stuck a goblet in my hand. He was smiling and looked handsome in a short toga belted at the waist. His sandals were strapped and tied up to his knees. It was a hot look.

  “This is quite a turnout.” I sipped the wine. More of that spiced stuff that made my tummy warm and my head light. I had on a beautiful toga again too. This was obviously the uniform for formal events when Zeus was going to be present. Too bad. That closet full of designer clothes had been calling my name and I’d tried on a few of the more exciting looks. Size two? Insane. I had a feeling Jerry would have claimed I looked gaunt. He liked my curves fuller and would have hated that I wasn’t showing cleavage in this rig.

  “Command performance. Everyone not in the cells had to be here.” He smiled, his teeth perfect and white. “Not that we needed a command. Who wouldn’t be curious about Hebe’s bastard daughter?” He laughed. “Now don’t look like that. There are more illegitimate children up here than those born in wedlock, myself included.”

  I guess I’d recoiled when called a bastard. Not that it really mattered to me but it was just not acceptable to uptight families like the Campbells. Or hadn’t been when Jerry had first taken me home to the Highlands of Scotland to meet his folks back in the sixteen hundreds. Of course times have changed since then. But his immortal parents hadn’t. Jerry’s father liked me, his mother? Didn’t. I had never been good enough for her boy.

  I glanced at the golden thrones at the front of the room. Of course now I was a royal bastard. Mag Campbell might even be impressed with that. If she believed it. I hardly believed it myself. I caught people staring at me, assessing me and whispering. I guess word had gotten around. Zeus’s granddaughter. These people would be watching closely to see how he treated me. If he accepted me, no one would dare be anything but thrilled to know me.

  I wondered if Mars was here yet. I looked for his familiar red plume, the one on top of his helmet. Would he wear his armor to an event like this? Maybe not. The only armor I spied was worn by the warriors standing guard at the doors. I did like Mars, had from the moment we’d met. To think that he was my father… My heart swelled. I’d always wanted a family.

  Trumpets blared and a man in a toga with a booming voice announced Zeus and Hera. Everyone bowed low and I followed suit. An aisle had been left down the center of the room and the two walked side by side as they entered from the back of the room. I’d noticed two thrones on the dais tonight. One was noticeably shorter than the other. No surprise that Zeus helped Hera settle herself into the smaller one before he sat in the larger one. You could have heard a laurel leaf drop as the god gazed around the room. Then as one we bowed even lower, practically prostrating ourselves on the floor.

  “Please rise, everyone. Hebe, Gloriana, come forward.” Zeus smiled as we raised our heads. He held out his hands and I moved toward him. My mother walked from the other side of the room. When we were directly in front of him, he gestured for us to turn and face the crowd. It was so quiet that I shivered, unnerved. There must have been close to five hundred people in the room and every one of them stared at me, sizing me up.

  “My daughter Hebe has found a daughter who was lost to her for many years. Allow me to introduce my granddaughter, Gloriana. Treat her with all the respect due her station as beloved of my wife Hera and I. We are happy to have such a beautiful addition to our family. Who, you may ask, is her father?” He gazed around the room. “It is not Hebe’s husband, who is still away fighting a war which it seems will never end. One cannot blame my daughter for seeking comfort for her loneliness.” His gaze raked the room, as if daring anyone to think ill of my mother.

  Hera made a sound and I noticed that she really wanted to say something but kept her mouth closed at a sharp glance from Zeus. He nodded then went on.

  “Of course we respect the bonds of matrimony as my wife reminds me. Hebe regrets her lapse and has been adequately punished for that by losing touch with Gloriana for many, many years.” He glanced at Hera and was rewarded with a slight smile. “But that will not keep us from now acknowledging this daughter and seeking to bring her into our world here at Olympus. I am sure you will make her welcome. And I am sure Gloriana’s father will be happy to learn he has a daughter as well.” Zeus paused, for dramatic effect, I was sure.

  “Mars, come forward and meet your daughter.”

  There were gasps and a stir as the crowd parted and Mars strode forward from the back of the room. No armor for him tonight. He was in the same snowy toga as the rest of the men. It was short to show off his muscular legs and he wore it belted. He wore a shiny silver breastplate, small and emblazoned with a crest that marked him as a military man. He stopped just feet from my mother and touched her hand.

  “Hebe, is this true? We had a daughter and you never told me?” He looked very solemn, no, furious. “Where has she been all this time?”

  I could almost see the crowd leaning forward, eager to get the gossip as my mother nodded, tears streaking down her cheeks. I couldn’t stand it.

  “Mars? Are you really my father?” I blinked as tears filled my eyes too. “Will you acknowledge me?”

  He quit glaring at my mother and turned to me. He looked me up and down and the most beautiful smile broke over his sun-browned face. Before I knew what he was going to do, he stepped forward and grabbed me, picking me up in a tremendous hug.

  “By the hand of Zeus, I acknowledge this beautiful girl as my own daughter.” He kissed me on each cheek then set me down again. His dark eyes were glittering. “I couldn’t be more proud.” He looked up at Zeus. “This is an honor I didn’t expect, Sire. Thank you for allowing me to claim this perfect child. If I’d known she existed, I would have raised her from a babe, taken full responsibility from the moment of her birth.”

  Zeus smiled. “I am sure you would have. You and my daughter need to talk. I hope you will resolve your issues and work together to make Gloriana’s life here a happy one.” He quit smiling. “Now is not the time for such a discussion however. We are here for a celebration. I want to see everyone eating, drinking and,” he glanced at Hera, “enjoying themselves. It is my command.” And with that he stood and walked down to the crowd, nodding to certain courtiers and kissing some of the women on the cheek. He suddenly had a goblet in his hand and totally ignored his wife, still on her throne.

  “Mars.” My mother edged closer to me.

  “You heard your father, Hebe. Not now. I want to speak to my daughter.” Mars reached out and snagged two goblets off a tray being passed by a handmaiden. “We are celebrating. Come, Gloriana, there are people I want you to meet.” He put an arm around my waist and led me into the crowd.

  I looked back and saw my mother approach Hera. My grandmother was surrounded by handmaidens who were bringing her food and drink. Several courtiers had also come closer and were fawning over her. My mother looked lonely and actually a little scared. Then a handsome man approached her and I saw her light up, turning on the charm like she always did.

  “Don’t worry about your mother, Gloriana. She can take care of herself.” Mars stopped next to a banquet table. “But she obviously didn’t take care of you. Tell me what happened. But not here. We need to meet. I want details. I know something of your background becau
se of how we met before.” He picked up a perfect apple and tossed it up and down like a baseball. Nerves? I couldn’t believe it.

  “I think we have to stay here for a while. I’ve already learned that you don’t disobey Zeus or make him mad.” I was into the wine again. False courage. I felt someone at my back and turned. Dionysus.

  “Put on your happy faces, people. You are the guests of honor, you know. Gloriana, you have many aunts, uncles and cousins to meet. Allow me to do the honors. Mars, quit glowering at me and follow along like a dutiful papa. But first go placate your wife. She has picked up a knife and seems likely to do murder. Can you calm her? Or should we send her to your rooms with a pair of soldiers as escort?” He laughed merrily. “This is one of my best parties yet. Great gossip, perfect food and wine and Hera looks like she could eat ground glass.” Dionysus clapped his hands. “Start the music!”

  To my surprise an indie rock band began playing on a stage that emerged from one side of the massive marble hall. I guess I’d expected lutes and lyres. But this group had obviously evolved and several couples got the dancing going. One god let loose a few lightning bolts with his extreme dance moves. Obviously he’d hit the wine too hard. He was helped outside by soldiers.

  “My wife. Excuse me, Gloriana. I need to do something about this. Zeus has his ways and I know he is our leader, but a warning here might have helped prevent some pain and embarrassment.” Mars frowned and hurried over to a woman who had her own group of sympathizers surrounding her while she waved her arms and shouted. Yes, she did seem to have a knife in one hand. The music drowned out their conversation but clearly it was heated. Finally Mars gestured for that pair of soldiers and the woman who must be his wife was led weeping out of the room.

  “Don’t worry about her, Gloriana.” Dionysus led me to a group of people across the room. “Roxanne is unstable at the best of times. No one blames Mars for seeking the comfort of another woman’s bed.”