(Glory St Clair 11) Real Vampires Say Read My Hips

by Gerry Bartlett

  Jerry walked into the room. He was dressed in a short toga like my father wore with a leather belt strapped around his waist. Gladiator sandals were strapped onto his firm calves and he looked every inch the warrior. I wanted to throw myself on him, plant a flag, something, when I saw Charis lick her lips as she looked him over.

  “Beat Kratos? Probably not, but I’ll do my best.” He rested his hand on my shoulder. “Alesha said you were in here, Gloriana. Sorry to interrupt this party but I felt better and decided I’d better go on and train.”

  “Jerry! Let me introduce you.” I covered his hand with mine. “My sister, Charis, has come to visit and this is her friend, Calista. This is Jeremy Blade, my fiancé.” I waved my hand at the full table. “Since you’re doing better, can I get you something to eat or drink?”

  “No, I’m not chancing it.” He was still pale as he bowed and smiled. “Ladies, a pleasure. Please excuse me.” He headed for the door.

  “He’s dreamy.” Charis watched him until the door closed behind him. “No wonder you don’t want to give him up. You should see the man Father wants me to marry.” She shuddered. “Lykos has enough hair on his body to knit a thousand sweaters.” She and Calista giggled.

  “She’s not exaggerating.” Calista polished off drink two. “But no worries. If you don’t want to marry him, Charis, it will not happen.” She rolled her eyes. “Mars is wrapped around her finger, Gloriana. He will do whatever his precious Charis asks.”

  “Perhaps. But Mother likes Lycos as well. I’m not so sure I can wiggle out of this engagement.” Charis still stared at the door. “Are all men from your home as handsome, Gloriana? He favors Kratos a little, don’t you think, Calista?”

  “I suppose. Though I still prefer my man.” Calista reached for a refill. “Kratos will beat your man senseless, Gloriana, probably kill him. I know it.”

  “No, he won’t.” I leaned forward. “Ladies, we can’t let that happen. I won’t marry Kratos no matter how the fight goes.” I started to pick up my glass then remembered I wasn’t drinking now. Shoot. I hoped the one sip I’d taken wasn’t enough to hurt anything or anyone I might have going.

  “You can’t defy Zeus, Gloriana.” Charis shook her head. “But we have time to come up with a plan to go around him perhaps. Now I want to hear about your home, sister. I’ve heard rumors that there are such interesting things there. And clearly the men are special.” She winked. “Only the oldest gods and goddesses are allowed to visit Earth. But sometimes they bring back books and magazines. And clothes, thank the gods. Why, if it were up to Zeus, we’d all still be wearing togas.”

  “So true.” Calista ran her hand down her red cotton dress. “I love the clothes we get from there. Mother is a goddess so she creates a new wardrobe for me when she comes back from one of her little trips.”

  Charis patted her friend’s hand. “Someday we’ll get to go. I’ll see to it.” She leaned forward, her silver eyes, so different from our father’s, suddenly focused on me. “Father says you live in Texas. I’ve read stories about it. Tell me all.”

  “Yes. I live in Austin, the capitol.” I settled in for a gabfest. “But if you think Texas is all cowboys and billionaires, think again.”

  By the time Flo arrived, we were all laughing like old friends. Even Calista, with the help of her fourth martini, had relaxed.

  “What is this? A hen party and I wasn’t invited?” Flo flounced into the room looking gorgeous in a black sweater over black jeans. She had put on a few pounds and was dressing the way I did on Earth, to look as thin as possible.

  I made the introductions then summoned Alesha for another glass, a full pitcher and more snacks.

  “Well, I tell you what I miss most about home.” Flo was eyeing the stuffed mushrooms but slapped her own hand when she started to reach for one. “Television! How do you survive without it?”

  “What do you mean?” Charis shook her head. “They didn’t give you a TV? We have it but not as many stations as I hear you have on Earth. Zeus doesn’t want us to know too much when we are young.” Charis made a face. “We get,” she glanced at Calista, “basic cable, I guess you call it. None of the really interesting channels.”

  “Well. Glory, we need to ask your mother for a TV. Maybe I wouldn’t be so bored.” Flo had resisted the snacks for a good ten minutes but by her second martini, gave up.

  “Flo’s addicted to reality shows.” I laughed when she nodded and picked up a stuffed mushroom.

  “Yes! I missed who the bachelorette picked! Which dancer won the competition! Oh, and the designer who got to show her clothes at fashion week in New York City. It is a tragedy!” She finished off her drink and picked up another mushroom, taking smaller bites this time.

  Charis stared at her. “We need to check out these shows, Calista. I’m not sure we get them on our channels.”

  “Reality shows have contests on television and the audience doesn’t know from week to week who will win.” I didn’t add that my own TV addiction was a singing competition.

  “But that is like our own shows in the Rotunda. We do dancing competitions. The judges vote and one dancer must leave until there is only one winner.” Calista puffed out her dainty chest. “I won last season. I have the medal to prove it.”

  “There you go.” I smiled at Flo. “Even Olympus has reality shows.”

  “Do they have a hundred channels? Where are the Real Housewives? The cat fights and hair pulling?”

  Charis laughed. “We have those, but they are in our living rooms.” She sighed. “Usually about how I am allowed to stay single and won’t marry the man they wish for me.” She and Calista exchanged looks. “Reality isn’t so great, Florence. I can’t imagine wanting to see a hundred shows about it.”

  “You may be right about that.” Flo patted her hand then reached for a cheese puff. “But there’s nothing to do here, ladies. I am sick, I tell you. If I don’t get home soon I die of boredom.” Flo waved the puff. “Where’s the shopping? The mall? If you have one here, I sure haven’t heard of it.”

  “I can send you home tonight if that is your wish.” My mother appeared next to Flo’s chair.

  “Mother!”

  Charis shrieked and dropped her glass. It rolled across the rug, spilling her drink, but didn’t shatter. “Hebe! If my mother finds out I was in the same room with you she will lock me in a closet and throw away the key.”

  “Ah, Roxana. How is the dear woman?” Mother threw back her shoulders and tossed her hair with a smirk. “Still getting your wardrobe at Bella’s discount shop, I see.”

  “As if you care how Mother is.” Charis stood and gave her own hair toss. She’d worn a cute designer dress in aqua that did great things for her pale skin. She had dark hair like our father and, with her silver eyes, the combination was stunning. “My clothes are perfectly fine, thank you. Bella has beautiful things. Calista, we will have to take Gloriana and Florence shopping there.” She turned to me and I was surprised to see her eyes glittering with unshed tears. “I have to go now, Gloriana. It was great to get to know you. I’ll send you a note and arrange for that shopping trip.”

  “Yes, we’ll do it soon.” I glanced at Flo. “It will be fun. Charis, I love your dress, by the way. I doubt it would be cool for me to come visit you or I would. You can believe that.” I hugged her, happy when she hugged me back, and even kissed my cheek. “I’m so glad to have a sister now.”

  “Me too. But you’re right, don’t come to my house. My mother wouldn’t like that. You know why.” She gave my mother a scorching look. “Now, Calista, am I going to have to call a carriage for you or can you walk?” She helped her friend to her feet.

  “I’m not that drunk. Though I definitely have a buzz on. Which I needed. Thanks, Gloriana. I’m glad you’re on my side. Too bad we don’t have a choice about this. Zeus rules, you know.” Tears ran down her cheeks and she sobbed. “Kratos will be very happy with you, I’m sure.”

  “Oh, gods, here we go.” Charis dragged her
toward the door.

  “Alesha, call a carriage for my guests, please.” I walked with them to the door. “I’m sorry Mother interrupted our party.” I hugged Charis again.

  She held onto me for a minute. “I hope you understand why I can’t be friendly to your mother.”

  “Absolutely.” I let go of her. “Hey, I can hardly be friendly with her myself. We have issues, if you know what I mean.” I glanced back but Mother was ignoring us. “Take care of Calista. We’ll figure out this thing with Kratos. If she still wants him after all this, she can have him.” I staggered when Calista flung herself at me.

  “Thank you, Glory. Yes, I will call you that. Glory, glory, glory.” She danced around me. “You will save me. I know you will and I’ll have my lover back. Yes, indeed.” She did a twirl then her face went pale. “Oh, I don’t feel so well.” She leaned over and threw up in the pot plant by the door.

  “Gods, what next?” Charis took a wet cloth from Alesha and tugged Calista out the door. “Come on, dear. We’re going. Look, there’s our carriage.” She waved at me. “Bye, Sis.”

  I turned back and nearly ran into Flo.

  “I thought I was like a sister to you.”

  “You are. Sister number one.” I hugged her. “Did you hear Charis? We will be going shopping soon.”

  “Yes, if Hebe doesn’t ruin things.” Flo shook her head when she glanced back at my mother who was looking over the snack tray. “I’m going. Not home. But back to my rooms. Ask her about getting us a TV. Your mother is staring at me like she will send me back to Austin any minute. You know Ricardo must stay until the fight to stand by Jeremiah and I can’t leave my husband. So I go hide.” She leaned on me for a minute. “Good luck with her, amica.” She staggered out the door.

  “Way to end a party, Mother.” I stalked back to give her a stern look.

  “I can’t believe you were fraternizing with that twit Charis.” Mother settled on the loveseat and filled a glass from the pitcher.

  “She’s not a twit. I liked her.” I shook my head when Mother offered to fill my glass.

  “She drinks too much. Mars needs to take her in hand.”

  “Mars adores her apparently. We were bonding. I think I’ll ask her to be my Maid of Honor at my wedding.” I said it just to goad her but actually liked the idea. And it would give Charis an excuse to come to Earth and see how I lived. If Mars really was lenient with her, I was sure we could talk him into giving her permission for the visit. If the wedding happened at all.

  “Ah, you are teasing. I’m glad to see you realize wedding your vampire is a fantasy that will never come true.” She patted the seat next to her. “Come, sit and let me tell you a few things you need to know about Olympus, darling.”

  I really didn’t want to sit close to her. Bad enough that she could read my mind anyway. I sat across from her and popped a stuffed mushroom into my mouth. Crab filling. Delicious. I concentrated on food. Let her read my mind now. All she’d find was an appreciation for cheese puffs and caviar.

  “Gloriana, face facts. Your man will never beat Kratos in a fair fight. And if the fight isn’t fair?” Mother set down her empty glass. “Zeus will be very displeased. Do I have to remind you how he reacts when he’s angry?” She threw up a hand and a sconce on one wall was suddenly a charred remnant of twisted metal and glass that crashed to the tile floor.

  “Mother, is that necessary?” I sighed when two handmaidens rushed in to clean up the mess. “I know he has powers far beyond yours or mine.”

  “Do you? Because I know you’re plotting to go home and act as if this little interlude never happened. You want to pretend that your Olympus roots are nothing, mean nothing.” Mother stood and loomed over me. “You have no idea how lucky you are. I would have thought the trip to the cells would have convinced you that you would be wise to go along with our plans. I guess not.” She waved her hand and we were moving.

  I gasped but had no control, no concept of what was happening or where we were going. I had a feeling of flying but the air was silent and cool. Then suddenly we stopped and I could see a pair of men below us. It was as if we were on an invisible balcony, watching them.

  “Where are we?” I recognized Jerry and another man stalking each other. They each had a knife and wore nothing but loin cloths. Sweat covered their bodies and they looked like they were breathing hard as they slashed at each other with their knives. I couldn’t hear them. Not the sound of their breaths or their shouts when they opened their mouths, clearly exchanging words before they lunged at each other.

  “The training field. Of course you know your man. The other is a soldier who volunteered to fight against him. He’s a mortal too. Both seem to be well matched. Now watch.” Mother hovered next to me. It was as if we sat on a cloud above the men. I wasn’t uncomfortable, just felt strange, like I had nothing holding me but needed no support.

  The men jabbed and swiped at each other. Jerry drew blood, opening a wound on the man’s chest. But the other man didn’t seem to notice. Instead he rushed at Jerry and grappled with him, throwing him to the ground. They rolled over until Jerry was on top but the man had his knife to Jerry’s throat. They strained against each other, their knives inches from penetrating flesh. I couldn’t breathe, terror closing my throat. This was practice? I saw a line of blood on Jerry’s neck. He was going to be killed!

  “We have to stop this!” I tried to reach out, throw myself on them and tear the knives from their hands. I couldn’t move.

  “Mars will do what needs to be done.” Mother leaned back and materialized a pear, biting into the fruit. “Actually, I expected this to be worse. Your man is holding his own fairly well. Mars said at first he had to bring Blade back to life a half dozen times.”

  “Back to life? What do you mean?” I could finally breathe again when Mars stepped into the circle. The men had rolled off of each other. Jerry tossed his knife aside then lay on the floor as if to catch his breath. The soldier jumped to his feet then offered Jerry his hand, helping him up. I was relieved when Jer stood and seemed no worse for wear.

  “Was he dead? Really?” I couldn’t take my eyes off of him as he picked up his knife and wiped it on his loin cloth. He clearly wasn’t dead now, gesturing and talking as he rehashed the fight that had just ended in a draw.

  “Your vampire, who isn’t a blood drinker up here of course, was killed during the first few fights he attempted. He was sorely overmatched against Mars’ hardened soldiers. So my dear Mars breathed life back into him. We are gods, Gloriana. We can do that. Give life. And take it away.” She polished off the pear then made the remains disappear. A basin full of water appeared next so that she could wash her hands. Then a towel fell into her lap. When she was satisfied that she was clean again, she whisked them away with a gesture.

  “Mother, I don’t believe you. Jerry would have said something.” I looked down at him. “He never would have continued if he knew…”

  “Oh, your man doesn’t remember it that way. Mars felt it would demoralize him. So he planted memories of a fair beginning for your lover.” She frowned. “Mars does know how to manage men. But he will not listen to me concerning your future. He should have let your vampire stay dead and you would have no choice now but to marry Kratos.”

  I barely heard her. “He died.” I stared down at the scene where Jerry was wiping himself down with a towel. Mars touched his wounds and they disappeared. Jerry didn’t seem to have noticed them. All three men were laughing over something my father said and then Mars clapped Jerry on the back.

  “Yes, Gloriana. But Mars can’t use his magic on the day of the real fight, not without incurring my father’s wrath. Face facts. Your man had too many years of relying on his vampire skills. Then there was the time in the cells that drained his strength. If he stays and fights Kratos, it will end badly. Fatally.” Mother picked up my hand. “All you’ve done is put off the inevitable. For your lover’s sake, you must send him home. Do your duty here, darling. Encourage him to
find a new woman on Earth. Someone who is like him. Another vampire if that is what he wants. But not you. You are a goddess. Too much for him. Don’t you realize that yet?”

  I jerked my hand away. I couldn’t stand her touching me. She wanted Jerry dead. How easy that would be. I could marry Kratos and be stuck here forever. I wouldn’t look at her or I was afraid of what I might say or do. Shoot fire or scream all the obscenities that were on the tip of my tongue.

  Instead I watched the man I loved step back into that circle and get ready to spar again. This time with his broadsword. Madness. I couldn’t breathe again. And here on Olympus, breathing was recommended. God, I just couldn’t make such a choice. Couldn’t doom Jerry and couldn’t give him up. What now?

  “Don’t you dare faint.” Mother sighed and gestured. “Come. We’re going back to your rooms. He will be returning soon and I won’t begrudge you some time with him.” She lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. “You must tell him good-bye, Gloriana. It will be a kindness. Don’t you see that?”

  I didn’t answer her. I just stayed silent as she whisked us back to my chambers. Just when I thought I couldn’t hate Olympus more, she’d twisted the knife. Of course sending Jerry home was the right thing to do. But I knew he’d refuse to go. I couldn’t hurt him again by pretending I didn’t want him either. There had to be a way to fix this situation. I needed an ally.

  When she realized I wasn’t speaking to her, my mother invented an excuse and took off. But I hadn’t missed her triumphant gaze, as if she knew she’d won. She thought she’d left me with no way out. But she didn’t really know me, did she? There had been too many years where I’d been on my own, learning to survive and make decisions without a mother’s guidance. With a mother like her, I realized now I had been much better off alone.