by Isobel Hart
“There,” I heard the director shout. “That’s the look I want. Now if you could just do it while looking in the right fucking direction,” he yelled with frustration. I looked over towards the shoot, to find myself eyeball to eyeball with Cat, who was glaring at me. “Have we got a problem here?” the director asked, looking back over his shoulder at me. “Do we need to clear some people off the set?” I blushed, mortified at the attention being directed my way.
“Him,” I heard Cat say, pointing at the guy that had been chatting to me. “I want him out,” he said.
The guy looked at me surprised and shrugged. “Sorry, I didn’t know I was treading on his toes,” he said.
“You weren’t,” I reassured him. “I barely know him. I’m sorry you have to leave,” I apologised as one of the assistants moved towards him to ask him to leave.
“Hey, no biggie. I get paid regardless. Nice to meet you,” he said, putting out his hand for me to shake. I swear I heard Cat growl when he touched me.
Once order had been restored, filming started again, but I could see that Cat was distracted. He kept looking towards me when he was meant to be looking at Amelia. “Cat, I’m going to have to get rid of some of the distractions,” the director finally said, looking over at me again.
“No fucking way,” Cat grumbled as I made to walk in the direction the other extras had left in. I was now mentally begging the ground to open up and let me in.
“Look, I want to finish this and get home at some point today,” the director said, frustrated. “Okay, how about we use this. Get that girl over here. Make her stand where Amelia was. We’ll get the facial shots from Cat using this girl as a stand-in and then just edit her out and put Amelia in for the final cut. We haven’t got time to re-shoot everything with another girl at this stage.” Amelia scowled at me as I was led into position beside Robert before I even knew what was happening. “Robert,” I heard the director say. “I want you to do exactly what you were doing before. Okay, and action,” he said.
Next thing I knew Robert was leaning against me, bending down towards my ear. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Cat looking at us, his face furious. “Great, perfect, Cat,” the director cut in. “Now if you could just do that but remember you’re meant to be singing the fucking lyrics to the song, then that would be perfect.” They started again, and this time I could hear Cat singing as Robert leant towards me.
“This is an unexpected pleasure,” he whispered, which made me smile and blink up at him. “You really are stunning, do you know that?” he said, looking straight into my eyes. I could hear the chorus lyrics coming to a close and knew we must be getting close to the end of the scene. “Have you ever thought about being a model?” Robert asked.
“Cut,” I heard the director say. Next thing Robert had been hoiked away from me and a very angry-looking Cat was standing there instead, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he sought to control himself. I looked up at him, terrified as he gripped my jaw and then kissed me. It was harsh and angry, but I felt my shocked body begin to respond before I came to my senses and realised what was happening.
“No,” I said, pushing him away. “You have no right to do that,” I shouted at him, slapping him hard across his cheek. He just looked at me, and for a horrible moment I thought he’d kiss me again, so I slipped deftly to the side, out of his grasp, and ran, sprinting for the bright outline of the door we’d entered through at the far end of the warehouse. I burst into the sunshine and looked around wildly for somewhere to hide, resorting in the end to the back of the car that had brought us that morning. I cringed as I replayed back what had just happened. I was embarrassed, and pissed as hell with Cat. For the first time since I’d met Eddy, I wished I could go home and see Mama.
Chapter 14
Eddy emerged blinking into the sunlight about ten minutes later, looking worried. He found me huddled in the back of the car and immediately pulled me into a hug.
“I want to go home,” I said into his chest.
“We’ll go now,” he promised. “Matt can get a lift back with one of the others.”
“No, I want to go home and see my Mama.”
“You can’t do that. You said you couldn’t or you’d get caught up with that family again.”
A fat tear rolled down my cheek. “Well, Brighton, then. I want to go back to Brighton.”
“Don’t run away, Delilah. Cat told me what he did. He’s really sorry; he didn’t mean to upset you. He’s not used to meeting women who don’t want to be kissed. You’re something of a novelty, that’s all.”
“He was so angry with me. I didn’t do anything.”
“You don’t need to do anything, Delilah. You’re one of the special people that doesn’t need to do anything for the world to notice them.”
“I didn’t want him to notice me.”
“You’re hard to miss. Even for someone like Cat. Seriously, he said he was really worried after the way you ran out; he wanted to come and look for you himself, but I said it would be better if I came.” I shuddered at the prospect of another exchange with Cat.
“Please don’t leave, Delilah. I like having you with me. In a few days we’re meant to be going to the country to Cat’s house,” I started to object, but he cut me off. “No, listen, Delilah. Normally I’d say we wouldn’t go, but the guys are going there to write their next album. It’ll be amazing to listen to them create together, musical heaven. I just know you’d love it. Cat said to tell you he wanted you to come but that he’d leave you alone if you did. It’s a massive house, you’ll barely even need to see him if you don’t want to. It’s got a studio and a music room. Seriously, I think it’s my favourite place on earth. I used to spend all my time there, and I know you’ll love it too. I so want to share it with you.” It certainly sounded good. I just wished it didn’t mean having to be near Cat. I didn’t trust him. Worse, I didn’t trust myself around him.
As if on cue the door to the warehouse opened and Cat and the other guys walked out. Cat had two girls velcroed to him, one on each arm. He cast a quick look in the direction of our car but then moved towards a different vehicle, pulling the giggling girls inside with him. Matt said something to Dougie and then came towards us. He opened the door and stuck his head through. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, looking at me.
“Yeah, fine now,” I said. “Sorry about that back there.”
“From what I heard, you didn’t have a thing to apologise for. Cat’s the one that should be apologising.”
“Yeah, well, I’d rather forget all about it if you don’t mind?”
“Sure, whatever. The boys and I are going back to Dougie’s for a bit.” He didn’t need to say what for, as another group of giggling girls climbed into their car. He blushed. “We’ll see you whenever. You’re still on for coming to the country house in a couple of days, aren’t you?” he said, looking anxiously at me.
“We’ll see,” Eddy said. “I think so. Tonight I’ve got us tickets to see the London Philharmonic play at the Royal Festival Hall, so we’ll talk tomorrow.” I smiled at him. He was so incredibly thoughtful. The guy who ended up with him was going to be lucky as hell.
*
After a night of Rachmaninoff I was in a completely different place. I felt reborn. “It was so deliciously dark and rich,” I gushed afterwards to Eddy, “but you could feel the energy. Amazing.”
“The strings in the Symphonic Dances were incredible,” Eddy raved. “God, I pray one day I get the chance to play like that.”
“You will,” I assured him. “You’re brilliant. Sussex think so. You’ll earn your place, and one day when you’re playing there, I’ll be in the audience exclaiming about you.”
“Amen,” he said.
“Thank you for taking me.”
“Feeling a bit better now?” he asked as we made our way towards the Underground.
“Yeah. I don’t know why I let it all upset me so much. It was only a kiss.”
“After what that last
guy put you through, and then Robbie, I think you’re entitled to feel a little cagey about getting caught up with anyone. And Cat’s hardly just anyone – certainly not boyfriend material.” I laughed at the thought.
“You sound like my Mama. Speaking of which, I need to call her tomorrow.”
“You are still coming to the house with us, though, aren’t you?”
“We’ll see, Eddy,” was all I said. I still couldn’t quite bring myself to commit to spending time at a house that belonged to Cat. Especially when it meant I’d be stuck there for days, possibly weeks, or however long it took them to do what they needed on the new album.
“Have you played at all since we finished for the summer?” he asked. I shook my head. I hadn’t even picked my instrument up except to bring it with me. It was the longest I’d gone without playing music since Hardy had given me my first guitar. “All I’m saying is the house has the most amazing music room, and a Steinway.”
“Oh my god, are you kidding me?”
“Seriously, he’s a really good pianist. Forget putting your name down on a list at Sussex for a session on the Steinway there. You can pretty much have at it if you come with us.”
“That is so sneaky of you,” I grumbled, knowing the lure of the piano was seriously tempting. “Let me speak to Mama in the morning, then I’ll make my decision.”
*
“Sweetheart,” Mama said as soon as she heard my voice the next morning. “Oh my God, darling, it’s been so long. How are you? I’ve missed you.”
“I’m good, Mama. I’ve been staying with Eddy’s brother. I’m good.”
“You’re okay? Really? No problems? You sound funny.” She could always tell when I was unhappy.
“I’m missing you,” I said quietly. “I want to come home for a bit.”
She was silent for a long minute. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, honey. Hardy’s back.” I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped. “He’s looking for you. He came here and nearly tore the place apart looking for something that would tell him where to find you. He’s really angry you left.”
“What’s he got to be angry about? He’s the one who broke promises. He’s the one who lied.”
“I don’t know, honey. He just said he needed to talk to you. He’s been looking for you ever since. Emily mentioned to me that he found out about what Clarissa said to you. I don’t know what he wants, but he’s mad as hell. I don’t want you near that right now. Plus Mr Somerville was cross about me letting you go off like that. I think you’re better off keeping away right now. Don’t send me anything with an address on it, and stay off social media. Keep away from here. He’ll move on. Then you’ll be okay to come home.”
I sighed. It seemed ridiculous to allow another family to dictate our lives like this. “One day, Mama, they won’t have this hold over us. I promise you, I’ll make sure you can get away from him.”
“I know, baby. One day.”
We said our goodbyes, and then I lay back down on my bed and pondered what it meant. I couldn’t go home right now, that was certain, but did it mean I should stay with Eddy and the band? Or could I return to Brighton? Thoughts of the waiting Steinway flashed through my mind, and I cursed Eddy for putting them there. One of our pieces of coursework for the summer required us to compose an original piece, and the thought of doing that on a Steinway was almost irresistible.
“Delilah?” I heard Eddy call. “Delilah, are you awake?”
“Yeah,” I called back, “come in.”
“I thought I heard you talking to someone,” he said, looking around as if he expected to find someone in here with me.
“Mama, on the phone,” I explained.
“Oh, is she okay?”
“She’s fine. She told me Hardy’s back, though, and he’s looking for me.”
“Looking for you? Seriously? God, Delilah, that’s crazy. You have to come with us now.”
“I don’t know…”
“What do you mean you don’t know? We can keep you away from him, hidden. The band have security. No one’s going to get past them. It can’t be that hard to find out which University course you registered with. Especially if he has money. He’ll find you in Brighton, and if you’re there alone... You have to come with us, at least for now. You can’t be there.” He was right. It wouldn’t be that difficult to find my name linked to a university profile. He’d know for sure I was studying music – he wouldn’t even have to look that hard.
“Okay,” I finally said, nodding. “I’ll come, but only because of the Steinway.”
“Only the Steinway?” he pouted.
“The Steinway and you. That’s all.”
“Good enough.” He grinned and pulled me into a hug.
*
Four days later we were in a car headed back towards Cambridgeshire. It worried me how close I’d be to Hardy, but I pushed it to the back of my mind, convincing myself that we’d be secreted on an estate, away from prying eyes, with security to protect us.
The long tree-lined driveway was impressive when we pulled in through the wrought iron gates. It reached for nearly half a mile before opening up into a large expanse of grass fronting a Tudor-style mansion. The place was amazing; a vast red brick building that sprawled across the lawn. Grounds extended as far as the eye could see, and I took some comfort in the level of privacy it offered.
We got out the car and made our way to the front door, where Eddy greeted a burly security man by name, who then nodded us through into the house. The sound of pumping rock music hit as soon as we walked into the entrance hall. The others had travelled up a couple of days before, but Eddy had sensed my need for space and suggested we arrive a little later. “They’re in the day room,” the security man told Eddy with a nod, who then veered immediately right out of the hall and led me along the corridor, towards the source of the noise. I prayed this wasn’t the planned new album.
Eddy pushed the door open and immediately tried to stop me from entering behind him, but it was too late. I stood in the doorway and surveyed the scene, feeling a familiar bile rising in my stomach. Henry was sprawled on a sofa, legs spread with a girl’s head nestled between them, sucking him off. What made it worse was he had a beer in one hand and was carrying on a conversation with Cat at the same time, who seemed utterly unconcerned about the activity going on in front of him. On the table in front of them was a mirror containing lines of white powder and a rolled twenty-pound note. Another girl, wearing nothing but her bra and knickers, was pressed into Cat’s side, although he seemed to be completely ignoring her. Matt and Dougie were on the other side of the room playing an Xbox, while two more girls watched on, looking bored. Eddy cleared his throat loudly, making Henry look up.
“Oh man, I think we’ve got company,” he said to Cat, who followed his line of sight and saw me standing there watching them. I saw panic flash across his face as he took in what I must have seen, pulling himself free of the girl beside him and standing up.
“Matt,” Cat called, “I thought you said Eddy and Delilah were coming tomorrow.” He sounded really pissed.
“Tomorrow, today, what difference,” Matt said, unconcerned. Then he looked around and realised what we’d walked in on. “Oh, sorry, Ed, Delilah. Shit,” he said, catching sight of the coke on the table. “We had a really great day in the studio yesterday. We were just blowing off steam,” he apologised to his brother.
“Obviously,” Eddy said, sounding uncharacteristically angry. “Look, we don’t want to cramp your style or anything, but I’m not going to subject Delilah to this. I’m offended and I can’t even see half the shit that’s going on. We’ll head back to Brighton,” he said, starting to back out the room and trying to pull me with him.
“No, man, don’t go,” Matt said. “Put it the fuck away,” he said to Henry with a scowl as Henry continued to allow the girl to suck him off. The girl must have been so off her face she hadn’t even paused when we’d entered the room.
“Fuck off,” H
enry said, until Cat cuffed him round the head. “Fuck! What was that for?”
“Put it away, like the man said. Now. Or at least go to your room,” Cat commanded. “There are ladies present.” Henry swore and pulled himself out of the girl’s mouth. He tucked himself away as asked and stood swiftly, took her hand and pulled her with him, heading for a different room. The girl seemed virtually oblivious to where she even was as she trailed along behind him. “The rest of you,” Cat said, looking at the other girls, “I want you gone.”
“Cat,” the girl who had been pressed against him said, “we haven’t even done anything yet. I thought you wanted to fuck me. I know I want to fuck you,” she purred.
“I was never gonna fuck you,” he said, somewhat unkindly, as he picked up the mirror from the table and placed it into a cupboard. “You were just a club skank who happened to luck out last night, and now you’ve outstayed your welcome. Get out. Security will call you a cab.” The girls by now were all scrambling to find their possessions. The one who had been latched on to Cat turned as she began to dress herself, and I saw her face properly for the first time.
“Emily?” I said, surprised. She peered at me through shiny glazed eyes.
“Fuck, is that you, Delilah? Wow, what are the chances? What are you doing here?”
“Just visiting friends,” I said, looking nervously at Eddy.
“Where have you been all year? You just vanished after...”
“Oh, here and there,” I answered vaguely, cutting her off before she could say more.
“Did Hardy find you? He blew a gasket when he found out you’d left.”
“Oh, did he? Well, I’ll be sure to get in touch,” I said, hoping it would be enough to satisfy her curiosity.
“Do you know Cold Comfort, then?” she asked, looking impressed.
“They’re friends of a friend,” I explained, trying to lead her away from the others, who were all now hanging on our exchange. “Well, it was good to see you again,” I said, hoping Emily would take the cue and leave.