High Balls

by Tara Lain

  Snake frowned as he sat. “For what?”

  “For being a flaming coward.” He looked in Snake’s eyes. Yep, he knows exactly what I mean. “It’s just I have to get past my orals, get my PhD, and then everything will fall into place. I can get a good position on a tenured track and know I can support my son.”

  “I’m sorry you have to put up with dudes like that.”

  If he only knew. “Can we go? I need to go.”

  “You bet.” He raised a finger for the check.

  Chapter Seven

  OUT OF here. Before Snake even finished negotiating payment, Theodore tossed what he guessed was his part of the check on the table and hurried to the entrance. Out in the rapidly cooling evening, he leaned against the wall. I knew this would happen. It had to. Someone from work was certain to see us. Shit, what if it had been one of the Andersons? Dumb. Dumb.

  Snake stepped out, took one look at Theodore, and frowned. “What’s wrong? Did I do something, or is it that guy?”

  “Come on.” Theodore looked both ways and hurried across the parking lot toward his old Toyota, where he turned to Snake. “I don’t have the right to take these kinds of chances.”

  “I don’t understand. What chances? You work with an asshole. So what?”

  Theodore felt his head shaking like some old cow. “No. No. He’s popular with the head of the department. They go to the same church. If the department chair decides my dissertation is inadequate, he can queer the whole thing for me and for Andy. And my in-laws. If I can’t get a good job, they could try to take Andy away.”

  Snake put a hand on Theodore’s am. “Come on, man. That won’t happen. Courts only take kids away from their dads for serious addiction issues and shit.”

  Theodore felt his face turn cold. Don’t tell him. Don’t. “But they can make life very difficult.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. “I’m so sorry. I like you a lot, and I enjoyed dinner, but I can’t do this. It’s too big a risk.” He pulled open the door and started to slide in.

  Snake knelt beside the car and leaned his head against Theodore’s thigh.

  Well, shit. All by itself, Theodore’s hand caressed the shiny dark hair.

  “I really like you too.” He turned his head so he looked up at Theodore with huge, green, puppy dog eyes. “Can’t we work something out?”

  Theodore had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. “What would you suggest?”

  “I’ve got an apartment with a kitchen and furniture and everything. There’s a big-screen and I get cable.” He grinned and Theodore had to smile back. “Couldn’t we have dates there—where no one can ever see us? I even know how to cook, my man, and if you don’t like my culinary efforts, I can get Wahoo’s. What do you think?”

  “Why would you want to? You don’t even know me. I’ve essentially said I can’t be seen with you, and you still want to spend time with me? Trust me, I’m not worth it.” He smiled a little sadly.

  Snake slipped a hand over Theodore’s. “Would you like to spend time with me? Be honest. Better for me to know now.”

  Theodore gazed at that handsome, rugged face with the too-pretty eyes and lips. Do I want to? “Hell yeah.”

  “That’s all I need to hear. Let’s go watch a movie—at my place.” He pointed. “Follow the Harley.”

  Theodore watched Snake walk away—uh, maybe slither or slink might define it. Now that he’d said yes, every conceivable misgiving popped into his brain. Do I really want to have a secret relationship with Snake? If all the niceties are gone, isn’t that going to lead to sex in about thirty minutes? He snorted. And this is a problem, why?

  He started the car as the motorcycle pulled in front of him. I like Snake better than any man I’ve met in a long time. I’m not sure why he likes me so much, but forget about equine dentistry and go with it. His foot pressed the accelerator as the rumble of the Harley vibrated through the car. He might have misgivings, but his nether regions didn’t.

  They drove north from Dana Point back through South Laguna, and only a short distance into town, Snake turned right up the hill. Theodore glanced around as he followed. If Laguna was eclectic, South Laguna doubled it. Huge mansions snuggled in true California tiny-lot fashion next to near-shacks that had been on the same spot since the 1920s and stayed largely unimproved.

  Snake turned on a short dead-end street that seemed to have mostly modest houses except for one or two that had been significantly remodeled. He pulled up in front of one of the latter. The place was modern, really attractive, and appeared to be several units—a large apartment on the top, which probably had a killer view, a smaller one also up a set of brick stairs, and then two units that entered from the ground level.

  Snake waved an arm to show Theodore should park at the curb. Snake pulled into a driveway that led behind the house.

  So how the fuck did a bartender afford a nice place like that? Tips must be awfully good.

  Snake came back around the house and motioned toward the smaller of the two upper units. “My place. Come on.”

  Curiouser and curiouser. Theodore followed Snake up the curved stairs to a small deck, where he opened the door to his place. After reaching in to turn on the light, Snake stepped aside for Theodore.

  “Okay, wow.” Theodore walked into a large open room with one wall of glass that looked out toward the vast blue of the Pacific. A modern chandelier hung over a dining table that must be Danish, and an island separated the dining space from the kitchen. What he could see over the granite-and-wood bar suggested a lot of gleaming appliances. In the large living space, a curved sectional facing a big television reflected true guy decorating, but it still looked great. “Man, you must be a good bartender.”

  Snake chuckled as he dropped his keys in a bowl on the entry table. “I’m a good investor.”

  “Can I see the rest?”

  Snake’s eyes shifted toward the arch that seemed to lead to a hall, and he nodded. “Uh, sure. Come on.”

  Theodore followed him down a short hall. First came a bathroom with a big tub and nice shower, then a big bedroom with a massive king-sized bed and doors that probably led to closets. “This is really nice.”

  “Thanks.”

  They walked a little farther to a half-closed door. Snake said, “This is my office.” He pushed open the door, and Theodore caught sight of a large, kind of messy desk and tons of books on shelves.

  “Is that where you handle your investments?”

  “Yeah.” He walked past another open door that seemed to lead to a guest room with a comfortable-looking bed and a nice chair and dresser. “Come on, let’s pick a movie so you get to see it all before you have to go.”

  Interesting. Snake hadn’t even tried to maneuver him into the bedroom. Theodore half appreciated that—and half didn’t.

  Snake got them iced coffees and some oatmeal raisin cookies from his kitchen while Theodore cozied into the big couch and surfed the available movies. “What do you like?”

  Snake set the goodies on the coffee table and looked up at the movie menu. “You pick.”

  Damn, better look for action movies. He scanned through the list.

  “Wait. Have you ever seen that?” Snake pointed and smiled big.

  “Which one?” He couldn’t mean—

  “Miss Congeniality. That’s funny as hell.”

  Theodore closed his mouth a moment. “Uh, it’s a favorite of mine. I’ve seen it, like, seven times.”

  “Yeah. Me too.”

  “Want to see it again?”

  “Sure. If you do.” And wonder of wonders, he pushed Play on a movie only one step less likely to be a favorite of a Harley-riding, tattooed Snake than maybe The Notebook.

  For the next two hours, Theodore sat on the couch with Snake beside him, Snake’s arm draped over the back cushions but never slipping down onto Theodore’s shoulders. They both laughed at the same scenes, sang “Mustang Sally” together as Sandra Bullock emerged from her makeover, and at the end,
when Sandy received her Miss Congeniality award and expressed her love for world peace, and Theodore had to blink hard to keep from crying, he glanced up to find Snake’s eyes suspiciously shiny. Altogether one of the most fun and surprising evenings of—ever.

  As the credits played, Snake leaned back and stretched, showing off several inches of flat hard belly beneath his partly unbuttoned shirt. “Want more cookies, or do you need to get home to Andy?”

  Jesus, he even remembers my son’s name.

  “I better go. There’s a very slight chance Andy may be asleep, but my babysitter has a curfew on a school night.”

  “Want me to lead you home on the bike to be sure you get there safe?” He grinned, but something in his eyes said he’d do it—gladly.

  “I can probably find my way.” Theodore smiled. He rose slowly. Funny how he felt reluctant. No kiss, even?

  Snake stood beside him. “This was really fun. Interested in doing it again?”

  “Yes.” Whoa. Eager, are we? “Uh, I mean I enjoyed it too.”

  Snake put a gentle hand on Theodore’s back and guided him toward the door. Theodore’s feet felt leaden. Come on, nitwit. I was the one who was worried about being this close to a bed. Now I’m freaking out because we didn’t use it?

  At the door, Snake turned Theodore toward him. “I’ll take whatever works for you to give me, okay?”

  Just as Theodore drew a breath to ask again why in hell Snake would want to do that for him, Snake leaned forward and closed his lips with a kiss—warm with just that soft touch of tongue sliding back and forth across Theodore’s slightly open mouth. The kiss might have been gentle and controlled. Theodore’s cock? Not so much. The thing leaped up, stretched, and said howdy, and only the tight denim of the jeans Andy had picked kept it in check. Snake held Theodore’s shoulders tightly. Good thing, or he might have thrown himself at Snake like a fastball. Oh wait, I already did that.

  Snake drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Whew.” He opened the door. “Okay, sexy, when can I see you again?”

  “Uh, what day is it?” At least the front of Snake’s pants looked pretty crowded too.

  “Tuesday.”

  “Uh, Friday? I can maybe stay later since my sitter won’t have school the next day.”

  “Perfect. Come over for dinner, and we’ll pick another movie or we can play games or whatever you want.”

  Anything? He slowly breathed in. “Sounds great. What time?”

  “Six thirty too early?”

  “Probably not. I’ll text if I need to come later.”

  Snake leaned in and kissed his cheek. “See ya.”

  “Yeah.” In some kind of weirdly frustrated daze, Theodore walked down the steps, got in his car, and started driving north. Doesn’t he like me? He had an erection—why didn’t he do something?

  He stopped at one of the many lights on PCH, replaying the events of the evening to see what he’d done wrong. When he got to the question “Interested in doing it again?” he cracked a smile. The urgency of his reply sizzled through his nervous system all over again. Yes, I said yes, I will yes, as Molly Bloom in Ulysses said.

  He started to chuckle. He let me see that I could spend an evening with him at his apartment and not have it be about sex. So much so that I’m ready to jump his bones. That devil.

  Can’t wait ’til Friday. He laughed all the way to his apartment.

  THE NEXT day, he wasn’t laughing. Professor Thurston hadn’t returned and in fact texted to say he might extend a day or two in New York to see some shows. Shit, he’s certainly making my life Les Miserables.

  Theodore walked into the tiered classroom and faced his hundred or so students, who mostly greeted him with smiles. Professor Thurston wasn’t known for his gripping classroom style, so the freshmen and sophomores who made up the beginning English Lit class always seemed relieved to see Theodore. “Morning.”

  “Morning, Theodore.”

  “Hi, Mr. Walters.”

  He plopped his butt on the edge of his desk. “What did you think of Pride and Prejudice?”

  One of the boys, Joey Flynn, said, “Aren’t you gonna tell us what to think of it?” He grinned.

  “Nope.”

  One of the best students, Rebecca, who he always thought of as Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, said, “I thought it was just wonderful. Mr. Darcy. Oh my.”

  A couple of boys made faces.

  Theodore pointed at one of the grimacers. “Okay, BB, what’s with the face? What did you think of Mr. Darcy?”

  The big blond jock shook his head. “He never even got a kiss in, man. How’d he know he even liked her, much less wanted to marry her?”

  Audrey, a brunette who wore her underarm hair like a badge, snarled. “He actually chose her for her spirit and her brain, dumbass, but you’d never know about that.”

  Suddenly the whole room was full of raised hands and excited comments. Theodore swallowed his triumphant smile and just played referee. After several minutes of emphatic opinions and some damned good ideas, Theodore asked, “How many of you realize that Jane Austen’s stories are often considered the first examples of the novel form as we know it today?”

  A few hands rose, but mostly people looked blank.

  “So what do you think about that?” He glanced up to see that Dr. Ashworth had slipped into the side door of the room and sat in a chair at the end of one of the rows. Theodore nodded and tried to ignore him.

  Rebecca said, “I can see that. It really reminds me of stories I’ve read.”

  “In what way?”

  “Well, I guess you could say structure. You know, the hero and heroine are kind of attracted but don’t like each other and then see each other’s good qualities, but they still have lots of obstacles to overcome before they get together.”

  A girl named Milly umped in. “Yeah. You’re right. It’s like, you know, romances.”

  BB said, “Ew.”

  Theodore said, “Why ‘ew,’ BB?”

  “Romance novels are gross. I thought this was great literature?”

  “Do you think it’s great literature?”

  He shrugged.

  “Seriously.” Theodore looked out over the class. “Do you think it’s great literature?”

  A guy in back they called Rowdy said, “Well, if it did all that shit, I mean stuff, first, then it probably is.”

  “Any other things that might make it great?”

  One of the quieter girls, who always turned in smart papers, spoke up. “It seemed to give a very good account of what it would be like to live in that time. Especially for women. I mean, Jesus.” She visibly shuddered.

  “Elaborate, Martha.”

  She frowned. “Women had no rights, no property, nothing to do unless they could get someone to marry them, and they could only do that if they had money or property of their family’s to bring to the marriage. I mean, we may read these stories as romantic, but I think they’re pretty desperate.”

  A hush fell over the entire classroom. Audrey murmured, “And it only takes a couple of Supreme Court votes to put us right back there.”

  Theodore nodded. “You guys have touched on a significant factor in these Austen novels, what we’ll call social realism. So she romanticized the situations of her heroines by marrying them mostly to men they loved, and you can argue that’s not realistic, but the environment of the stories is very real. Rebecca compared Pride and Prejudice to a romance novel. Do you think they share anything in common?” He pointed at the whiteboard. “I’ve written the name of five romance novels on the board. I want each of you to choose one and read it before our next class.”

  A wave of grumbles pulsed across the room.

  “Don’t worry, they’re fast reading. Allow yourself to suspend judgment and read them as literature, just as you did Pride and Prejudice. No, you don’t have to like them.” He grinned. “I don’t require you to like anything, just read it with an open mind.” He looked. “Questions?”

  BB f
rowned. “Why do we have to read crap books? I can do that on my own time.” A bunch of the guys guffawed.

  “Have you ever read a romance novel?”

  “No. Hell no.”

  “Why do you assume it’s crap?”

  “Shit, man, it’s chick-flick stuff.”

  “Ever see a chick flick you liked?” BB started to respond, and Theodore held up a hand. “Last night I watched Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock. Ever seen it?”

  BB shrugged.

  “How many have seen Sandra Bullock walk out of the building after her makeover in the skin tight dress with the long hair—”

  “And that ass. Yeah, man.” BB sniggered, and a bunch of the jocks joined in.

  “You laughed when she ate lunch and got food all over her face, right? And when she ripped the crown off the winner?”

  The guys chuckled and nodded.

  “Total chick flick, right down to the world peace. Also one of the funniest movies around. We denigrate chick flicks and chick lit because on some level we want to believe that women aren’t as strong or powerful or capable or smart as we are. We know that’s bull, but it’s been ingrained in us guys for thousands of years. You want women to appreciate you? Learn to see what they value as valuable. Read the books and we’ll talk. Have a good afternoon.”

  For a minute nobody moved. Then one of the girls started clapping and all of them joined in. The guys glanced around, and some of them clapped too.

  Theodore took a sweeping bow, then grinned. “Get out of here.”

  The class began to file out, and Theodore walked over to Dr. Ashworth. “Hi. How can I help you, sir?”

  “Interesting teaching style.” He didn’t smile.

  “I find people learn best when they teach themselves.”

  “Umm. I expect Dr. Thurston’s syllabus may have flown out the window, however.”

  A muscled jumped in Theodore’s jaw. “I teach more of Dr. Thurston’s classes than he does, sir, especially the freshman and sophomore level. I think the professor trusts me or he wouldn’t allow me to do so.”