Heart of Gold

by Fiona Palmer

  ‘How’s my little Tara Bell?’ he said as he scooped her up and swung her around too. He had learnt quickly that what he did for one he had to do for the other. Quickly they decided it was time for him to come and have a cuppa with their Barbie dolls, and with a hand each, they dragged him up the driveway.

  Doug met them at the door. ‘Hey, Lindsay. How ya doin’?’

  ‘Daddy, Uncle Lindsay’s gonna have a tea party with us,’ said little Tara excitedly, skipping on the spot with her hand still clutching Lindsay’s little finger.

  Doug laughed. ‘How about Uncle Lindsay stays here with me and then maybe I can talk him into staying for dinner?’

  Both girls flashed huge grins, Bonnie’s rather toothless, before they ran off to their playroom.

  ‘Want a beer?’ asked Doug, moving into the kitchen.

  ‘I’d love one, thanks.’ Lindsay followed Doug and pulled out a stool at the breakfast bar.

  ‘So how’s things in the team? CJ seem happy enough today?’ said Doug, carefully.

  ‘Why?’ Lindsay asked, frowning. He wondered if Doug knew about her eye already.

  ‘It’s just…’ He paused. ‘I had to demote her to rousie and she wasn’t too impressed. I was just hoping she’d gotten over it. She’s the best classer I’ve got.’ Doug looked seriously at him. ‘Don’t you ever tell her I said that!’

  ‘Well, maybe you shouldn’t piss her off then. I didn’t expect that from you.’

  Doug scratched his chin. ‘I know, but I was in a tight spot and I’m giving her full pay,’ he said.

  Lindsay played with the label on his stubbie. ‘She… ah, came in with a whopper of a bruise today. Would you know anything about that, Doug?’

  ‘Ah.’ Doug put his beer down. ‘It’s not my place to say. CJ’s a good girl, she’s almost one of the family, but she can take care of herself and has been doing so for years. Don’t let it worry you.’

  ‘But Doug, you didn’t see it. It was nasty.’

  Doug held up his hand. ‘Trust me, Slick. It’s better if you just leave it alone. She’s a private person, keeps to herself and minds her own business. You have to respect that.’ Doug’s eyes grew dark for a moment, then brightened. ‘Now, are you gonna stay for dinner? Tess is cooking a pork roast.’

  The change in subject didn’t go unnoticed by Lindsay, but he gave up anyway, just for the moment.

  ‘Where is Tess, by the way?’ He looked around the house and noticed it looked like a willy-willy had blown through. Tess always had a spotless house. ‘You’re babysitting, aren’t you?’ said Lindsay, laughing.

  ‘Yeah, Tess is doing a Tupperware party. She won’t be back for another half-hour probably so I’m on roast watch too.’

  Lindsay grimaced. ‘Maybe I’ll take a raincheck on dinner,’ he teased, before hearing the patter of small feet up the passageway.

  ‘Daddy, can Uncle Lindsay come and play now?’ asked Tara.

  Doug rolled his eyes and looked at Lindsay’s dirty clothes. ‘Take him outside. Your mother would have a pink fit if she found him rolling around on her carpets in his work clothes.’

  ‘You make me sound like the family dog,’ laughed Lindsay. ‘Come on, girls. What are we gonna play?’

  ‘Hide and seek!’ they yelled together.

  6

  ‘THANKS for staying home tonight, Mum!’ said CJ, putting her hand on Dot’s tiny shoulder. Her mum looked frail in a pair of black track pants and an old shirt, which was once white but was now a tired cream. CJ definitely got her height from her dad but the mirror showed she had her mum’s soft features. More than once her dad had reminisced about when he’d first met Dotty, how she’d blown him away with her stunning looks. Apparently, every bloke in town had been after her but only Tom had caught her eye. Mum always said it was because Tom practically ignored her – and the fact he had the best body in town. CJ used to love hearing about it when she was young. Nowadays, her mum’s face carried lines from stress and she always seemed tired and lifeless. Gone were the pretty eye shadows she used to wear with the soft lipsticks. They’d disappeared along with any pride in what she wore.

  ‘I’m sorry, I know how much you enjoy your work, but I’m grateful.’ She felt bad, her mum taking the night off work so she could go out. But it didn’t happen very often.

  ‘It’s fine. You go and enjoy yourself. You work too hard,’ said Dot as she glanced up at her daughter, their understanding eyes reading one another’s heartache. ‘By the way, Burt rang for you today. He said it was about time you stopped out and visited him.’

  CJ laughed. ‘More like go and get his shopping and cook a meal for him, the sly bugger. Oh well, I suppose it’s been a while. Thanks, Mum.’

  ‘Have a good time and don’t worry about us,’ said Dot nervously as she watched CJ heading for the front door.

  ‘I’ll try.’ CJ saw the scared look in her mum’s eyes. Panic was circling her attempt at a smile. CJ felt horrible – she knew how much her mum hated being left alone with Tom, just in case something happened. CJ wasn’t the only one to cop a punch here and there. Each time Tom connected Dot retreated a little further, and CJ worried that she’d soon resemble a discarded snake skin. But CJ couldn’t afford to be like that. Someone had to take charge and be the strong one.

  Dot touched the blue material on her top and eyed the plunging neckline. ‘This looks beautiful on you.’

  CJ played with the black satin sash tied around her waist. ‘It’s not too dressy?’

  ‘No, you look wonderful, sweetheart. Wish I could see you wear more things like this.’

  ‘Aw, thanks, Mum.’ She gave Dot a hug and walked out the door into the warm evening air. ‘Catch ya later.’

  Dot stood by the door, watching until CJ walked out of sight. Party lights created soft-coloured circles inside Doug’s small shed. Shearers, rousies and friends from town sat on chairs and milk crates scattered round the tin walls, chatting loudly over the hum of the music. CJ was just heading off to the toilet when Lindsay opened the shed door from the other side. She was shocked. He was even more handsome when scrubbed clean in a pair of jeans and dress shirt, smelling like expensive cologne. Well, not that she knew what expensive cologne smelt like, but this was way better than the Brut her dad used to have. She felt his gaze tickle her skin, gentle and exploring. She suddenly felt overdressed and uncomfortable. Damn Lindsay for being so god damn sexy. Was someone upstairs trying to punish her – all because she’d sworn off men?

  ‘Is this the way to the party?’ he asked.

  ‘Um, yeah, make yourself at home.’ CJ ducked past him and hurried to the house, her blush burning on her face.

  An hour later CJ was perched on a bar stool next to Irene and Paul, who had put his arm casually around Irene’s shoulders. He was a well fed–looking bloke and made Irene appear even skinnier. The love he felt for Irene was unmistakable; it poured out from his brown, teddy-bear eyes whenever he looked at her. CJ loved seeing them together. They gelled so well, and seemed to communicate on another level. She wondered whether she’d ever find that.

  Paul Stayton was telling them about his promotion to manager in a shop that sold farming and shearing supplies. ‘I’ve told Irene that she can stop working now,’ he said. ‘I can provide for both of us.’

  ‘And how’s that working out for you, Paul?’ CJ laughed.

  Paul smiled weakly. ‘She said something about kicking the bucket faster if she wasn’t working, plus she’d miss your company.’

  Irene touched Paul’s arm gently. ‘Being at home just isn’t me. I’m a working girl and that’s one of the reasons you love me.’

  Paul nodded. ‘Yeah, it is.’

  CJ was glad. She couldn’t imagine going to work without Irene either.

  A loud voice boomed over the sound of the music. ‘Hey, CJ, want another one?’

  She spotted Marty standing by the bar fridge with the door open. He wore jeans and a blue dress shirt that was unbuttoned one too many times and he was wavin
g a can of Jim Beam at her.

  She shook her head. ‘No, I’m right, thanks.’ For a quick moment, she saw irritation flash through his eyes.

  ‘Come on, push up,’ he urged, brushing back his longish dark hair in a flirting pose.

  Her skin prickled and her stomach lurched, knowing that performance was for her. It would have looked sexy, she thought, had it been someone else. She shook her head and turned her back on him.

  ‘That’s the third drink he’s tried to ram down your throat tonight,’ Irene said quietly.

  ‘Yeah, well, it ain’t gonna happen,’ CJ replied.

  She spotted Duncan and Jill behind Paul. They were having a cuddle and laughing about something with Dave and Lindsay.

  She watched them wistfully, trying to keep her gaze away from Lindsay’s direction before Irene read too much into it. ‘Don’t Duncan and Jill look terrific?’ she said. ‘Obviously the change is already agreeing with them.’ Duncan was a solid-looking bloke with huge round shoulders but he had the kindest eyes and gentlest face. He made friends easily and Jill just adored him. Jill was stocky too but much shorter and she had the face of an angel, which always seemed to glow from her smile.

  ‘I know. I don’t think I’ve seen Jill so happy… She looks almost relieved,’ said Irene.

  Paul laughed. ‘Probably, ’cos now Dunc won’t cark it slaving away at the shearing stand.’

  ‘Don’t ya think Lindsay’s hot?’ asked Irene.

  CJ put her head in her hands and shook it slightly. The man knew how to dress, she’d give him that. His dark jeans were a perfect fit and his shirt pulled just nicely over his chiselled chest.

  ‘Come on, CJ. It’s probably time you found a nice fella to spoil you,’ said Paul.

  ‘I’ve only come across one nice fella and you’re already taken,’ CJ teased. ‘Besides, do you really think I could take a guy home?’ Another reason she’d sworn off men. Her life was just so complicated and besides, the way Lindsay turned female heads… hell, she didn’t need that. Not another player; she’d dated enough of them.

  Irene shook her head. ‘Most people would understand, CJ.’

  ‘Yeah, maybe,’ she said as she glanced at her watch. ‘Hey guys, I’m just gonna go and say goodnight to the girls. I promised I would.’

  As soon as she opened the back door into their house, she was hit by two squealing blurs of pink. CJ fell to the floor with the girls and playfully wrestled with them. She stopped when she noticed Tara’s sad face. For a moment something about the little girl’s gorgeous features tugged at her memory. But she couldn’t put her finger on it. ‘What’s wrong, Tar?’

  Tara looked up at CJ with large blue eyes and said softly, ‘We didn’t think you were coming back to see us.’

  Bonnie pushed Tara slightly on her shoulder. ‘You mean you didn’t. I knew you wouldn’t forget us, CJ,’ said Bonnie, ever so grown up.

  ‘Of course I wouldn’t forget. You two are my favourite girls, after all.’ CJ scooped the smiling girls up into a hug and then carried them under each arm to their bedrooms, passing their mother on the way.

  ‘Don’t keep CJ too long, girls. Only one story tonight, okay?’ said Teresa.

  CJ smiled. ‘They’re all right, Tessa. You know I’d prefer to be with them than that rowdy lot in your shed.’

  ‘With an attitude like that, how do you ever expect to find a boyfriend?’

  ‘Who said I even want one?’ CJ shouted back down the corridor as she reached the girls’ shared room. She heard Tessa laugh and return to the kitchen to finish sorting out the food supplies.

  ‘Here you go. Hop into bed,’ said CJ. She threw the girls onto the wrong beds, knowing this would cause more laughter.

  She read Tara’s book first and her delicate eyelashes were resting on her cheeks before they got to the end. Bonnie was still awake, patiently waiting her turn.

  When they got to the end of Cinderella, Bonnie had a serious look on her face. ‘How come you don’t want a boyfriend?’ she asked.

  CJ couldn’t help but laugh. Kids really take everything in, she thought. She’d have to remember to be careful what she said around them.

  ‘Oh, Bonnie. I would like a boyfriend.’ One day before I’m dead, she thought. ‘It’s just I can’t find one that I like and I don’t really have the time.’

  Bonnie’s brown eyes exploded in excitement. ‘You could have my uncle,’ she said. ‘He’s the best. You would like him.’

  ‘Would I just? Well, I think it’s time you went to sleep, Missy.’ She gave Bonnie a kiss on the forehead before turning out the bedside lamp.

  ‘ ’Night, CJ.’

  ‘Goodnight, Bonnie. Sweet dreams, princess.’ CJ tiptoed out of their room and headed back down the passage. She glanced up at a large photo hanging on the wall, one she’d passed a million times before. But this time she just about snapped her neck getting another look. She stood in front of it, her mouth hanging open. There, framed in black, was Lindsay. He stood next to Doug and wore a blue ribbon with ‘Perth Royal Show’ printed on it. He’d won a shearing competition. That was understandable, she thought. After all, he was the best shearer she’d seen in a long time, maybe ever. Their two smiling faces looked down at her, strangely familiar, as her brain fired off unanswerable questions.

  ‘That was a good day.’

  The voice came from behind and she just about hit the roof like a champagne cork. She swung around to face him. ‘Lindsay!’ She held a hand over her heart, hoping to keep it in her chest.

  ‘Sorry. I actually came to say goodnight to the girls but you were doing a super job and I didn’t want to interrupt.’

  CJ felt her cheeks warm. How long had he been there, listening and watching? ‘They’re great kids,’ she stammered. Quickly she turned back to the photo, trying to hide her embarrassment. She didn’t like being caught without her guard up. He was so close she could smell his tantalising aftershave.

  ‘Doug’s my uncle. That was taken a few years ago,’ said Lindsay.

  CJ opened her mouth and tried to hide her surprise. ‘No wonder you seemed familiar.’ She could easily see the resemblance between him and Doug: the same strong jaw and those catching blue eyes. Tara was the spitting image of him. The Taylor genes were strong. She spun around to face him and studied his features openly, a shiver travelling up her spine. She admired Lindsay’s freshly shaved chin and followed his jaw line up to his sideburns and fine blond hair. Her fingers twitched as the desire to sink them into his hair grew.

  ‘Doug has done a lot for me over the years.’

  Lindsay’s breath bounced across her face like a caress with each word.

  She found her eyes stuck on the opening of his shirt, revealing his silky, golden skin. Her throat constricted. It was time to get out of here before she did something stupid.

  ‘Um, I better see if Tess needs a hand.’ With a quick sideways shuffle, she left Lindsay and headed out of the passageway, breathing deeply as if starved of oxygen.

  Lindsay watched her leave. It had been a surprise, finding her with the girls. Tess had sent him down without any warning. Seeing CJ kiss his little cousins and read to them so tenderly had moved him. All of a sudden, she wasn’t this stranger he’d just met at work. Here she was, obviously involved with his family.

  He had stood by the girls’ door, watching their fun, entranced by CJ’s voice. It was a private moment and he probably shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but he found this side of her fascinating. Twice tonight he’d been surprised. The first was seeing her in the shed. The lights behind her had given her an angelic aura and she looked like she’d walked out of a magazine ad for jeans. She had truly transformed from the shedhand look he was used to. He was aware that CJ kept distancing herself from him, but that wasn’t a bad thing. He’d had enough of women chasing him. It’d be nice to actually have one as a friend.

  He turned back to the photo of him and Doug. Sometimes he was more of a father than his own dad had ever been. Maybe it was becaus
e they were closer in age. Doug listened, didn’t tell him how to live his life and was proud of him no matter what he did. Doug’s smile in the photo after his win told him just how proud. It had been such a huge day, winning and setting a new record. He’d had offers of work thrown at him and he’d had to knock them all back. He couldn’t stand up to his father back then, but he could now.

  Sighing, he headed back to the party. He’d catch up with the girls tomorrow.

  Adam Brand blared out from the CD player, expanding the tin on the shed with each beat. A crowd of young ones danced on the concrete in a happy daze. CJ sat nearby with Jill and Dunc and saw Paul pull Irene up for a dance. She laughed when Paul started dancing like an overgrown chicken, causing Irene to slap him. Her laughter died when Marty walked over and motioned for CJ to join him. She fought the impulse to shudder when he held out his hand for her.

  ‘No, thanks. I don’t want to dance.’ He wasn’t only drunk. The way his eyes were glazed, she was sure he’d had some wacky weed – and who knows what else.

  ‘Come on. It’s about time you and me tried it out.’ Marty grabbed her arm and hauled her up onto her feet.

  CJ pulled her arm away. ‘I said no, Marty.’ Jules and another mate stopped dancing to watch. Marty reached out and forcefully grabbed her again. Without hesitation, she slapped his hand away, causing him to stumble. The shed went still as the party goers paused to see what would happen next. A few chuckles echoed throughout the shed, stoking Marty’s fire.

  Quickly CJ stepped back. Things were heating up and it was time to leave.

  ‘I think I’ll call it a night. See yas all later.’

  Paul and Irene gave her an understanding wave, and a few others shouted goodbye over the music. She weaved her way towards the exit without a backwards glance.