Desperately Ever After: Book One: Desperately Ever After Trilogy

by Laura Kenyon

Snow White’s kingdom of Tantalise arrived first, smudging the swanky affair with peasant blouses, hemp bags, and enough greens and browns to blend in with the landscape. Even Penny had trouble keeping a straight face as Snow drifted down the runway wearing a clay-colored dress that matched her husband’s leisure suit.

  “I can barely pick out socks without consulting you first,” Logan whispered to his wife while holding a bright obligatory smile, “but even I know that’s just wrong.” Penny caught her laugh just in time to turn it into a high-pitched greeting. Then she jabbed her husband in the ribs for tempting her out of character. When Angus Kane hobbled up next with scarlet lapels, a plaid ascot, and a gold dragon atop his walking stick, she knew it was going to be an interesting night.

  For more than an hour, amidst the flashes of paparazzi bulbs and music being piped over from the reception tent, the carpet was a river of diamonds, lace, organza, silk, thigh-high slits, multi-tier hats, long-tailed tuxedos, scepters, satin gloves, strappy shoes, mermaid skirts, toothpick heels, and enough near face-plants to keep Perrin Hildebrand (wherever he was hiding) laughing for weeks. When the deluge finally slowed to a trickle, Logan left to supervise his brother, who evidently felt he could hang out by the bar while his mother’s guests arrived. Penny took this opportunity to grab some fresh air with her friends.

  Snow, Dawn, Cindy, and Rapunzel were like a quartet of chickens clucking about how wonderful everything had turned out. From the tiger eye centerpieces to the ice sculptures to Ruby’s invisible canopy, it was all a hit.

  “I just hope Carter actually remembered to write his speech,” Penny said, sipping the party’s signature Imperial Plum martini. She only wished they were celebrating the end of her mother-in-law’s reign rather than another year of it. “I swear. Logan may be soft, but there has to be a happy medium between that and his brother’s complete inability to act like a responsible human being. Could you imagine him governing Riverfell? I think the kingdom would spontaneously combust three months in.”

  Rapunzel unleashed a snort and immediately reached up to secure the pins holding her silver extensions in place. “Oh come on. What do kings do besides cut ribbons and take orders from Parliament? I’m sure he can handle that.”

  Penny sucked her irritation into a thin smile; Letitia’s party was going to be contentious enough. While the other girls continued prattling, she silently surveyed their outfits and attempted to rank herself. As usual, Cindy and Dawn looked cultured and sophisticated, wearing dainty little hats, silk blouses, and pastel pencil skirts. (Dawn had hers trimmed with lace, of course, to emphasize that she hailed from a more “refined” age.) Rapunzel threatened to steal the spotlight in a svelte fuchsia dress, devilishly low cut, with a black belt cinching her hourglass waist, and a bubbled train. If anyone looked like a princess tonight, she did. Penny, in a one-shoulder aqua sheath with ruffles all down the sides, was just happy she looked better than Snow.

  “Speaking of infuriating men,” said Dawn, her tone a mix of curiosity and worry, “I haven’t seen any sign of Belle. Rapunzel, did you not arrive together?”

  Rapunzel fielded everyone’s stares like a rabbit in floodlights, and then calmly explained that Belle hadn’t actually come home from the Beanstalk the night before.

  “What do you mean she didn’t come home?”

  “Have you called her?”

  “Rapunzel! She could be in trouble!”

  “I knew Aaron shouldn’t have let her take that cab alone!”

  The group became so preoccupied with worry that no one noticed when their main concern sidled up beside them with a very unwelcome accessory.

  “I see I haven’t missed much.” Donner’s gravelly voice might as well have been an arctic blast. Hats and hair and hands flew back. The women prepared to pounce. Then they noticed the tiny figure beside him. Belle looked like a little girl’s doll in a shimmering, pink ball gown. She offered an uneasy smile from beneath a thick tiara. Donner ushered her into the center of the circle, which doubled in size to accommodate her massive bustle. Then, rather than leave to join the other husbands, he lingered in the shadow of his reacquired prize—just close enough to monitor every word.

  “Hi girls!” Belle’s voice was pumped full of uneasy pep. “Pen, everything looks so beautiful. I’m sorry we’re late. One of Donner’s footmen forgot to pick up his suit from the cleaners. See how everything falls apart when I’m not around?”

  Just when they should have flocked towards her with relief that she was safe, the five women sunk back, offering little more than cheek pecks and insincere compliments on her dress.

  Penny nabbed the opportunity to leave as soon as the orchestra finished a modern beat and began a musical tribute to the year Letitia was born. The lady of the hour had repeatedly instructed them to avoid any mention of her age and was probably having a miniature conniption over this slip—for which Penny was grateful. She didn’t have the strength to stand in front of Belle and pretend to be happy seeing her back by Donner’s side. One bad date and she gives up? Was that really all it took? A world of questions swirled through her head, but she knew that none of them really mattered. At some point, the desire to be a good friend caved to the fear of losing one.

  By the time dinner hit the tables and Carter delivered his brief but surprisingly coherent welcome speech, Letitia had no choice but to publicly congratulate the Braddax monarchs on their reunion. This was most likely the cause of her two additional martinis.

  “Letitia’s convinced Donner took Belle back now just so he could steal her big day,” Penny told her fellow diners when the couple left for the dance floor and Logan set off with Aaron for an after-dinner smoke. “She seriously believes it’s his way of saying Braddax is the second most important kingdom in Marestam.”

  “Second after what?” Cindy asked, batting her lashes.

  Penny gave her a look. “Carpale, of course.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Dawn hurled her napkin beside her plate. “I will never understand the need people today have for asserting dominance in every manner. This kingdom is more prestigious than that one. That land is more profitable than this land. I’m so sick of it. We didn’t do that in Selladóre. We just lived our lives with what we had.” She was speaking to the table, but her eyes were clearly focused ten meters away at the bar, where her husband was schmoozing Angus Kane and a group of men in designer suits.

  Sometimes Penny was surprised Hunter could remember his wife and children’s names with all the brain space he devoted to expanding his behemoth real estate empire. After all that Dawn had been through—the 300-year coma, her parents dying weeks after the Awakening, her mother-in-law’s savagery—she was the only person Penny could forgive for having an affair. Of course, for this same reason, she knew she never would.

  “Well, whatever Donner is thinking, it’s Belle’s decision,” said Snow, ever the pacifist. She smiled into her vegan tortellini, which Penny had to order special for all the Tantalise guests. “If she’s happy, then what right do we have to say she shouldn’t be?” When no one agreed immediately, Snow glanced at her oft-overlooked husband. Unfortunately, as the lone male left at a table of gossiping women, his eyes were glued to the couples spinning around the dance floor.

  Penny shifted to the side to disguise an eye-roll. Perhaps she just didn’t know Snow well enough, but her nauseating poise and concern for celestial balance often made Penny feel like a complete moral failure. She must have had rose-tinted contact lenses glued to her eyes as an infant, for Snow would never be caught issuing a judgmental glance or shallow remark—not even about the woman who poisoned her. Every so often, Penny vowed to be that calm and balanced. She rarely lasted a day.

  “Say what now?” Rapunzel’s voice broke through Snow’s lecture. She tumbled into an empty chair, knocking the table and sending two empty champagne flutes clattering over. “Sorry. I must be winded from my walk … from the unimportant non-royalty table … all the way in the back corner … back there.”
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  Penny heard her message loud and clear, but the table arrangements weren’t up to her. “Royal tables,” Letitia had decreed, “royal tushies.”

  “Did I really just hear you say we should be happy for Belle?” Rapunzel continued, barely glancing at Ethan as he took a chair on the other side of the table. “This is so friggin' wrong. She was getting so confident. She was standing up for herself and thinking on her own. She was dressing like a human being. Now look at her!” Rapunzel swatted at the dance floor. “She’s a freaking puppet!”

  Sensing an impending gossip-fest, Cindy, Dawn, and Penny all huddled into each other—some trading seats and turning chairs for ultimate secrecy. Snow stayed on the far side of the table and introduced herself to Ethan—a fresh brain to pick about the joys of coexisting with nature.

  “I’m worried too,” Penny whispered, glancing warily at a strange man with sun-kissed skin and huge olive eyes in the distance. He’d been staring at their table for a while now, and she was not eager to have their conversation repeated in the Mirror. “What’s to stop Donner from tossing her aside again when something new comes along?”

  Dawn nodded. “Or after she gives birth and no longer has the higher arm? Higher arm? Is that how you say it?”

  “Upper hand,” Cindy said, helping Dawn out with her 21st-century phrases. “And you’re right. For all we know, Julianne’s just waiting in the wings till all the publicity dies down and the baby card’s played out.”

  “Bastard.”

  “Jerk.”

  “All men are the same,” Cindy grumbled. “You think you’ve got a solid life. Love. Kids. All sorts of little milestones and compromises and victories. Then he just tosses it away for some 20-year-old piece of ass who’s just eventually going to shrivel up too.”

  Penny squinted in confusion. Julianne was older than Belle. Significantly older. Judging by her crinkled eyebrows, Dawn was perplexed as well.

  “Umm … Cin?” she said. “Are we still talking about Belle?”

  Rapunzel jabbed Cindy’s shoulder. “Way to kick the cat out of the bag.”

  Reluctantly, Cindy opened up and relayed everything that had been going on with Aaron: what she and Penny saw in the window that night, his conflicting schedules, the letter, the child, the “always and forever” check, and how she’d been biding her time for some sort of vengeance.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Pen. I said it was a misunderstanding because I didn’t want to worry Belle even more. You understand, right?”

  Penny felt her insides warp. Cindy’s hand was like fire on her shoulder. “I might need to throw up.”

  Silence drew around them like a wool blanket even as the band blasted on and rosy-cheeked partiers twirled around them. Penny thought about Logan and how she would have bet her life he’d never betray her. But she would have said the same about Aaron, too. She thought he was the only man that history, filled with embellished tales and airbrushed anecdotes, actually got right. She’d been a witness—well, sort of—but it was still hard to think of him as dishonest, disloyal. If he could fall, no one’s relationship was safe.

  “I’m going to have a walk,” Dawn said, wobbling onto unsteady feet. “I need to process all this.”

  “Good idea,” Penny said. “We could all use some—”

  “No.” Penny froze mid-heave. “Forgive me. I process much better alone. Please tell Hunter he can have my cake if I don’t return by then.”

  Penny fell back into her chair and shrugged. She wanted to tell Dawn that she’d never stop missing her old life if she didn’t start living this one, but now was no time to pick a fight.

  With her departure, the gloomy quartet shriveled into an even gloomier trio. But this was a party! Penny had worked her butt off to pull everything together in a matter of weeks—to hunt down the perfect flowers, to find the ideal band, to turn the parlor into a historical tribute room filled with everything but her damn peas. Screw everyone else’s problems. Screw her mother-in-law. This was her party—and people were going to be happy. She looked around for a new topic and saw Rapunzel’s date across the table.

  “So Rapunzel,” she said, forcing a massive smile. “When’s the wedding?”

  Rapunzel flashed her a look that was one part mortified, two parts homicidal.

  She nodded towards Ethan, who appeared to be genuinely listening to Snow rather than shooting over periodic “save me” glances. Penny remembered liking him during that drunken sleepover—at least so far as she could remember—but he’d looked different then. His face now seemed a lot more … naked.

  “Didn’t he used to have a chinstrap?” Cindy took the words right out of her mouth. “With that little rise up in the middle?”

  “Yeah, and a mustache,” Penny added. “With the salt and pepper hair and that scar …” She trailed off and fanned herself. “It made him look so debonair.”

  “Ugh.” Rapunzel gulped her wine. “I don’t know what that’s about. He looked absolutely perfect yesterday. Then he comes to pick me up this afternoon and it’s like someone shaved a poodle. But it’s not worth arguing about today. Not at such a public event.”

  Penny did a double-take. Not worth arguing about? Rapunzel? She was the queen of finding dumb reasons to cut a guy loose. “Well, I was joking about the wedding, but now I’m not so sure.” She looked at Cindy for backup. “I’ve seen you physically shove a guy off a cruise ship because he wore red shorts.”

  Rapunzel let out a scoffing noise. “Yeah, well, they were practically spandex and—”

  “I recall you breaking a guy’s heart on live television because his sideburns were uneven,” Cindy added.

  “Well if he can’t even choose a good barber how can I expect him to—”

  “And what’s that I heard about you switching dates an hour before Belle’s wedding because the first guy got a zit?” Penny arched her brows. Rapunzel caved.

  “All right!” she blurted, and then sank back into a whisper. “I really like him, okay? I do. But don’t expect me to start looking for wedding gowns. Ever. That’s all well and good for you guys, but it’s not me. Besides, we’re actually fighting at the moment … I think. I’m new to this part. Usually when I fight with a guy, that’s it.” Cindy and Penny exchanged knowing grins. Leave it to Rapunzel to deny being in love. “He left in a huff last night but then he came back today. With flowers.” She scooped up her wine glass, noticed it was empty, then commandeered Aaron’s. “Whatever. And for the record, that guy’s pimple was smack in the center of his nose. It would have been in all the pictures.”

  The feuding lovebirds left when Logan and Aaron returned, the cake rolled out, and the dance floor emptied of all but some swaying grandparents and teenagers in dire need of a private room.

  “Babe. Stop it, babe,” Penny heard Belle giggle as she sat down with a flushed Donner pulling at her cleavage. Cindy was too busy scraping icing off her carrot cake to react, but Penny drew her hand into a claw. She overheard Belle say something about getting a dog, and Donner say something about hell freezing over, but that was all she could stomach. Suddenly, an electric shriek pulsed through the air. Forks clattered into porcelain and knees cracked beneath tables. Then there was complete silence, save for the croaks of some bull frogs in an ornamental pond.

  “How about we all give our waistlines a reprieve for a moment?” The authoritative female voice sent a chill up Penny’s spine. She pressed her nails into Logan’s arm and whipped around. On the stage, Letitia was beaming over her guests, looking practically jolly as she hugged the microphone to her chest. Her sequined gown, which had to be sewn on like a glove to adequately fit her curves, sparkled in the spotlight. But her loose posture was very un-Letitia. Even her smile seemed uncharacteristically … real.

  “Do not tell me she’s drunk!” Penny hissed. Logan’s eyes were wide as saucers, but no sound came from his mouth. “What is she doing? Your brother was supposed to be watching her.” Penny sucked in all the air she could as Letitia began thum
ping the microphone against her bosom. “Oh my God.” Penny tried to shove her husband out of his chair. “Oh my God. Do something.”

  “It’s okay Pen,” Belle said. “Maybe she’s going to retire.”

  Yesterday, Penny might have appreciated Belle’s support. But not today. Not with Donner. She twisted away and grabbed Logan by the tie. Their noses touched.

  “What do you want me to do?” he asked, fork still in hand. “She’s my mother. She’s the Queen, for goodness sake. If she wants to say something spontaneous at her fortieth anniversary party, I’m not going to stop her. And maybe Belle’s right. Maybe she is going to step down.”

  “Looking down on you all tonight,” Letitia continued as soon as the chatter plummeted to a satisfactory nonexistence, “it would be wrong not to say how truly, truly touched I am to have you all here tonight.”

  Letitia’s singsong tone and repeating words verified that alcohol was definitely at work here. Normally, everything she said was cold and calculated. At least she wasn’t slurring.

  “We all know that Riverfell is the greatest kingdom in Marestam.” Pockets of applause broke out across the floor. Most of the attendees issued forgiving smiles. “Before I get to my point, I must thank my wonderful angels, Carter and Logan, for never outgrowing their mother; all the people of Riverfell for supporting me unconditionally; and my brilliant daughter-in-law, for turning a near-impossible task into a truly delightful little party.”

  Penny’s entire table beamed at her. Logan smashed a fleshy kiss into her cheek. Penny gave a meek wave toward the applause but replayed the word “little” a few more times.

  “Now before I let you get on with dessert, I do have one final order of business.” A murmur rippled through the crowd. “One I’ve waited far too long to announce.”

  Penny’s heart fluttered. Logan squeezed her hand. Was this it? Was her mother-in-law finally going to retire? Penny had thought about this a million times, but felt pure panic now that it was so near. If Letitia passed the crown to Carter, Logan would be devastated—but at least they’d be free to move away and start a real life outside the palace. If she chose Logan, Penny would be trapped here forever—but at least Logan would be the one in charge. And he would be happy.