Desperately Ever After: Book One: Desperately Ever After Trilogy

by Laura Kenyon

  “What?” Logan’s voice cracked. But rather than push Penny aside at this revelation, he cradled her closer, as if protecting her from his mother.

  “I just wasn’t ready to lose my baby boy. And I figured every hussy who wanted the Queen’s approval would say my mattresses felt like clouds no matter what.” She twirled Angus Kane’s gift around her wrist. “Don’t be mad, dear. If anything, I think it makes you two even more destined to be together. Why else would fate drop such a blunt, Vashian princess on our doorstep? I mean really.” She giggled. “What are the chances?”

  The truth that Penny wanted out so badly froze just beneath her skin and boiled beneath it. If there was ever a time to unload everything—to tell Logan who she really was—it was now. She took a deep gulp and peeled apart her lips, come what may. But her vocal chords didn’t catch. Only air pushed out. Then Logan kissed her and Letitia began the elaborate planning of her wedding—of which her daughter-in-law would be an integral part.

  THE MARESTAM MIRROR

  Diamond Ropes and Velvet Cake

  By Perrin Hildebrand, King of Gossip*

  SOMETIMES writing a gossip column is difficult. Sometimes most people are boring and everyone else is tight-lipped. Sometimes I wish I wrote theatre reviews instead because then all I’d have to do is sit, watch, and jot down snarky things about what’s happening in front of me.

  But WOW. Princess Penelopea, I could kiss you for throwing a party last night that dumped the show right into my lap. And this play—nay, musical—was filled to the brim with laughter, excitement, suspense, and downright jubilation (at least on my part). Truly, two thumbs up! A must see! Fun was had by all—except pretty much every Marestam royal, my beloved Rapunzel, and a Stularian earl I’ve never heard of.

  So here’s the scoop, loyal readers:

  RIVERFELL is getting a new king. Some flubby Stularian Earl named William Wilkins, whose eldest son Ethan refused to acknowledge his surprise announcement by standing up when summoned. Seems he was Rapunzel’s mystery man all this time, and hadn’t been overly honest about his family ties. Next thing you know, he and the love of my life are duking it out in the courtyard with the rest of Letitia’s clan and DonElle. (Yes, Donner and Belle were apart, then together, then apart again. As of this printing, sources indicate they’re still in splitsville.)

  WHILE chaos was breaking loose on one side of the party, Dawn of Regian was reprising her performance from a week ago—namely, fainting. Only this time, she wasn’t alone. They only lasted a few minutes a piece, but both Dawn and Snow White plummeted to the ground (well, Dawn to the ground; Griffin was actually there to catch his wife) when things were getting heated. Perhaps it was just the commotion. Or perhaps … read on!

  ON baby watch, Queen-ish Belle dutifully refrained from drinking anything alcoholic (though I say she deserved a stiff one under the circumstances) … as did the elusive Queen of Tantalise. Et tu, Snow? Are we nearing the year of gilded bassinets?

  WHOEVER assumed Ruby Welles and Cinderella had an unbreakable bond may have a bit of heartache heading their way. Several onlookers overheard the pair arguing (quite vehemently, though that impression might have come from Ruby’s nagging flu) about the state of “happily ever after” in Marestam and whether DonElle should stay together forever for the sake of the planet.

  *Sticking to it

  Chapter Nineteen

  BELLE

  “If you take one more step, I swear I’m gonna kill you,” Rapunzel warned before collapsing onto a boulder streaked with mud. She didn’t look up to see whether Belle had actually stopped walking. Instead, she lay sprawled out and panting until something wet and steamy nudged up against her chin.

  “No, Beast! Off!” Belle ordered, struggling to heave the ninety-pound dog off her friend. “Down!”

  Four homemade biscuits and one belly scratch later, Belle managed to replace the hot canine breath with a frosty bottle of water. “It’ll make you feel better,” she said as the treetops rustled above them, turning the sun into a giant disco ball in the sky. The specs of light danced over Belle’s sneakers, her moisture-wicking spandex, and the miniature backpack she’d stuffed with survival supplies.

  Rapunzel, too busy massaging her feet to think about hydration, scowled at the container.

  “Suit yourself.” Belle shrugged. “But I told you ballet flats weren’t a good choice for wilderness.”

  Rapunzel, who’d spent the past five days drowning in vodka, tequila and coconut rum, grunted. “Fine.” She grabbed the bottle. “But I still don’t see what’s so great about stumbling through the woods. If you really think I need fixing, take me to a spa.”

  Belle closed her eyes. She felt the warm wind against her face, smelled the leaves stretching out for summer, and wondered what the birds were chattering about. After being cooped up in an urban apartment for the better part of two weeks, the hills of western Braddax were heaven. Just a stone’s throw over the Carpale border, they were as far as Belle could get from Donner while still being in her home kingdom. They were isolated, pristine and quiet—everything she’d been missing and everything she feared she’d never find again.

  She’d started coming here the morning after Letitia’s party, having recalled her father’s description of the hills as a place for solitude and reflection. She spent all day strolling the trails, perching on ledges, talking to her stomach, and enjoying the sheer fact that—if nothing else—she was alive. She watched the sun set over the West River, and she thought. She thought about how she’d come to be here. She thought about her wide open future. She thought about everything except regret. What’s done was done, and as scary as it was, it felt right. Whatever had jarred loose that night at Letitia’s had suddenly made everything clear. Now she just needed to figure out what came next.

  “Need any bug spray?” she asked, pulling off her pack. This action captivated Beast, who immediately stopped chomping the grass. His tail swayed in anticipation of more food and he clomped over.

  “Does that thing do anything besides bark, poop, and eat?” Rapunzel asked, drizzling water over her forehead. Belle ignored her and scratched behind the dog’s silky, silver ears.

  “Yes. He cuddles.”

  Rapunzel grunted and chugged the rest of her water. What Beast really did for Belle was something she couldn’t explain. Whenever she felt herself slipping into darkness, all she had to do was pick up a ball or take him for a walk, and everything seemed better. She imagined that his head was just a constant whirlwind of wonder. Ooh, trees. Oooh a squirrel. Oooh oooh what’s that? A flower! What’s that thing? Where’s he going? Can we play now? Now? Now? Throw it. Come on. Yay!

  He didn’t do it on purpose, of course, but Beast had a way of putting everything into perspective for Belle. She was alive. She was loved. She was going to be a mother. And this giant, happy, clumsy mound of fur thought the sun rose and set on everything she did.

  “I still can’t believe you tricked me into housing a dog,” Rapunzel muttered.

  “Tricked?” She smirked to the side. Her roommate had been three sheets to the wind when Belle finally broached the subject, but the response had been so enthusiastic that she figured there had to be some truth to it. “Alcohol only lowers inhibitions. It doesn’t make things up. So deep down somewhere, you really must want a dog. I did you a favor.”

  “You’re conniving. And he’s so freaking needy.” Rapunzel stared down at her feet. Beast was stretched out between both women, touching one with his head and one with his foot. Rapunzel scooted a few inches away. Beast poked one eye open, yawned, and pushed his legs out until they nestled, once again, against her heel. “Ugh. Please tell me you’ve got some booze in that magic sack of yours. Because as far as I’m concerned, that’s the only way this is gonna make me feel any better.”

  Belle shook her head. So far, her plan to help Rapunzel find perspective was going up in flames. “Let’s just keep going,” she said, flicking Beast another biscuit. “You’ll feel so good about
yourself when we’re done. And you won’t need to vomit in the morning.”

  “Wanna bet?”

  “Fine. You won’t feel like you’ve destroyed your waistline then.” Belle jumped to her feet and began stomping down the path with Beast romping at her heels. Even she could only take so much negativity.

  “My waistline? Ha!” Rapunzel called from the rear. “Like I care about that anymore.”

  “You’ll care when you start dating again.”

  For the next few steps, Belle heard nothing but the crunch of rocks beneath her feet and Beast’s heavy breathing. Then came the swish of polyester capris—growing louder and faster until Rapunzel was once again by her side.

  “I’m done dating.” Her was tone serious. “No more men for me.”

  Belle laughed out loud, though inside she couldn’t help but cringe. Even with the whole I-don’t-date-royals thing, she felt responsible for breaking up Rapunzel and the only man who ever really moved her. Secretly, she hoped Ethan would find his way back to her—and soon. If Rapunzel’s heart wasn’t steel-plated enough before he came along, it certainly would be now.

  “I mean it,” her friend snapped, kicking a clod of dirt into the air. “When I had a lot of men, I was a joke. When I had one, I was a fool. And either way I ended up feeling alone and shitty, so why not just call it a day? I mean, what would I really be miss—”

  “Sex,” Belle replied, bluntly.

  The next quarter mile went by in silence, with Belle yanking Beast from the fauna every few steps. They passed two forks and a rank smelling bog before Rapunzel settled on a response.

  “Okay fine.” Her breath was heavy and her tone slightly miffed. “But no relationships. No thinking any man is possibly worth anything more than a one-night stand. One. And no repeats. Not even a year later. I’m a self-sufficient woman and from now on men are on the same level as movie rentals and dining out—entertainment when I feel like it and nothing more. If anyone tries to give me flowers or call me their girlfriend or stay for breakfast, it’s sayonara brother!”

  “Okay. But how’s that different from before you met Eth—”

  “Don’t say his name!”

  Belle stumbled on a rock and flew three steps forward. Beast bounded after her and pounced, excited about this new game. “Sorry. Let’s just keep going. Sunset’s at six and we’ve got to save time for the return.”

  Rapunzel came to an abrupt stop. “What. Do you mean. The return?” Rapunzel asked, wasting far too much energy on each word. “Belle! You said three miles! Is this not a circle?”

  “Well, it’s three miles to the top. Then another three to—”

  “Belle!” Rapunzel let out a shriek, threw her hands in the air, and stomped into the trees.

  “Where are you going?” She fell upright through the brush, propelled by a slight wave of panic. “If you insist on quitting, let’s at least take the trail back! It’s not marked here!”

  “I’m not quitting!” Rapunzel hollered back. “I’m finding a shortcut to make you less of a liar!”

  Seeing no other choice, Belle let her fist open and watched with guilty satisfaction as Beast bounded loose and took off. Within seconds, the huge, happy dog caught up with its giant human toy and pummeled it to the ground. When Belle caught up, he was straddled across her friend’s chest and trying to lick every speck of salt from her face.

  “Good boy,” Belle said, scratching the dog’s scruff as he gazed up in triumph. “You deserve two treats for that.”

  Belle knew that Beast wasn’t actually smiling when he pulled his jowls wide and stared up at her, but she liked to believe he was. Rapunzel’s glare of fury, on the other hand, was impossible to misread.

  “I’m sorry, Pun, but I don’t know these woods very well. I don’t know what’s out here and leaving the path could be dangerous.” She nudged Beast aside and sat cross-legged on the grass. Rapunzel remained prostrate. “I just wanted to help. I can’t stand watching you drink yourself into a stupor every day over a guy. You’re too strong for that. I’m sure it feels like it’s helping at first, but in the end doesn’t it just make you feel even shittier?”

  Rapunzel sat up and hugged one knee into her chest. “In more ways than I can count.”

  “I thought some fresh air and a little exercise might help. I got a lot of perspective up here. I just wanted to help you do the same.”

  “You’re right.” Rapunzel sighed. “I hate being such a drag.”

  “You are not a drag. For heaven’s sake. This is probably your first real heartbreak.” Rapunzel shrugged. “I only survived mine because of you and the rest of the girls. You didn’t take the easy way out and let me just wallow, so what kind of friend would I be if I did that with you?”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Belle thought she saw a smile.

  Rapunzel grabbed a small rock and bounced it off a tree. “I have been doing some thinking, actually.”

  “Really? And did any of those thoughts survive the Great Vodka Offensive?”

  Rapunzel made a face and repositioned herself on the ground. “I’ve been thinking about life—about us in particular—”

  “You and me?”

  “You, Cindy, Penny, Dawn. All of us.”

  Belle nodded, unsure she wanted to know where this was going.

  “I’ve been thinking about what purpose we all serve when it gets down to it.” Rapunzel tapped her fingers against her knee. “I mean, like Cindy. She’s a leader. She’s the one who landed the perfect life but can’t ever enjoy it because she’s always trying to stay two steps ahead of what’s coming. She can never rest because as soon as one problem ends, another begins, and she won’t sit still until she solves it.”

  Belle shrugged. “I’m not sure if that sounds good or awful.”

  Rapunzel shook her head. “It’s not about good or bad. That’s just who she is. And we all need someone like that.”

  “I suppose.”

  “Just like we need someone like Penny, who always brings us down to earth—either by reminding us how great we have it in Marestam or just by standing her ground when things start to go haywire. And Dawn, well I’m not actually sure about Dawn. Personally, I think there’s a lot more going on with her than she tells us. I mean, what does she do when everyone else is sleeping? I’ve still never gotten a straight answer.”

  Belle repositioned her legs. “How about Snow?”

  “Snow?” Rapunzel gave a careless shrug. “Snow’s that dizzying little butterfly we want to swat like a moth every so often.”

  Belle let out a pop of laughter. But where did that leave her? The pushover? The baker? The runt who wore helplessness like a shroud—or like a scabbed over gash on her forehead? She wracked her brain to think of any possible label that wouldn’t make her feel like crap.

  “Then there’s you. The idealist. Always trying to make the world better one bit at a time—whether it’s through a fudge pie or a cursed king or an abandoned mutt. You make us all want to be better people.”

  Belle looked at Beast. He was trained on a pair of squirrels springing through the branches, his tail high and crooked. She felt simultaneously proud and unworthy of this description. “So according to you, Cindy can’t see how great her life is, whereas I see a great life that isn’t really there.” She sighed. “Sounds about right.”

  “Yeah. And I’m just the loudmouth slut who doesn’t get it.”

  Belle’s head whipped around so fast it hurt. “You are not!”

  Rapunzel nodded and stared at the blanket of purple flowers running beneath the trees. “Yes I am. I don’t understand love. I hurt everything I care about. I’ve made a career out of illusion. I haven’t done anything of value with my life. And I pretend to be strong so no one realizes I’m just a hot, broken mess. I’m a waste.”

  “You are none of those—”

  “What have I done that’s actually made a difference? Besides in people’s bank accounts.”

  Belle scooted over so that she and Rapun
zel were looking directly at each other. She stretched her arms forward and dropped them both on her friend’s knees.

  “Pun. A month ago, I was a spineless, naïve wreck. I didn’t just ignore what Donner was doing; I basically condoned it. I was so terrified of losing everything that I never let myself realize it wasn’t worth keeping in the first place. I never would have been able to stand on my own if it hadn’t been for you, and what I learned by living with you. You’re so confident. You don’t buy into ideas or rules just because people say you should, but you stand by what’s important to you. That’s why so many people look up to you. You’re the fighter. That’s what you are. You pulled yourself up from a horrible past, and you inspire millions of women every day. The things you write, and the things you do … they give people courage to believe in themselves. They give people strength to leave a shitty situation and hope there’s something better.”

  “No.” Rapunzel shook her head emphatically. “They just tell people what they already know.”

  “Knowing something and believing it are two very different things, Pun.”

  Belle paused as Beast lumbered between them and nosed her arm. His ears were pinned back so that his eyes looked gigantic.

  “He doesn’t like our tones,” she explained. “He thinks we’re fighting.”

  Rapunzel rolled her eyes. “Of course he does.”

  “It’s okay buddy,” Belle said, injecting her voice with baby-talk pep and rubbing her fingers all over his head. “I’m just telling Rapunzel what a big dummy she’s being! Isn’t that right? I’m telling her that people know pretty much everything deep down, but they need the right person to say it in the right way before they finally take action! And she’s very good at getting through to people in that way! Isn’t she?”

  “You know you’re nauseating, right?” Rapunzel asked, but gave Beast a quick scratch nonetheless. Then she cracked her neck and looked around. “I’ll admit, it is pretty here. Even if we didn’t make it to the top. Another time … maybe”