He wouldn’t forget her response to his kisses. She’d been like liquid fire in his arms. Had she felt anything, or was she just grateful for affection? He didn’t buy into the fallacy that widows miss a man. Some might, some might not. But if they did, it was usually their husband they missed.
He knew Shannon missed Alan. She mentioned him frequently. Not with great grief, but with sweet nostalgic memories. Maybe there was a timetable for grief, he didn’t know. But Shannon had to wake up to the real world sometime and maybe he could nudge her along.
He wasn’t sure where he wanted things to go. Staring at the artful arrangement of low-growing bushes and rock, he felt the uncertainty that being with her brought. He’d always wonder if things would have gone differently if he’d asked her out before Alan. Maybe they’d have had a terrible time and she’d have been happy to go out with Alan if he’d then asked her.
But Jase didn’t really believe that for a moment. Every second he spent with Shannon was all he could ask for. She was intelligent, with a wide, eclectic interest in so many different things, she was never bored. And she was ambitious—look at how well the new women’s safety section was growing. She had the makings of a very successful businesswoman.
Exciting to be with, interesting to talk to, and sexy as anyone he’d ever known.
Which left him where? Nowhere as long as she thought any attention he paid her was due to some death-bed promise to Alan.
He couldn’t deny the promise. But there was more to his interest than taking care of his partner’s widow. Though how to make her believe that.
And how far did he want to go? All the way to marriage?
He looked at Shannon. She rose. “Okay, I’m ready to go,” she said. She still hadn’t looked at him. Was she disgusted he’d kissed her? Did she want to forget it had ever happened?
He knew he never would.
Rising, Jase let her proceed him from the Gardens. He wasn’t going to let her back off. Whatever it took, he wanted to keep the lines of communication open. And watch to see when she was ready. For now he wouldn’t push, but he was not a patient man. He knew what he wanted, and he would go after it just like every other goal he’d set himself.
When they returned to the apartment, Shannon thanked him politely for the day and headed for her room, claiming work.
“I’ll order Chinese in for dinner if you like,” he called after her, annoyed she preferred work to his company.
She stuck her head out of the doorway and nodded. “Call me when it’s here.” She closed her door and Jase was left standing in the hall.
He’d been the perfect companion on the walk back to the car and the ride to the apartment, commenting on the aspects of the Park he thought she’d like. Then pointing out one or two landmarks of San Francisco. She had been as responsive as a tongue-tied teenager.
Dammit, she frustrated him. He glanced at his watch. There were still a couple of hours until dinner time. Maybe he’d take that run he’d postponed from the morning, get rid of some of this pent up energy. She probably wouldn’t even miss him.
The thought only made him more frustrated.
Shannon lay on her bed thinking over the day. Jase was right, she probably wouldn’t mourn Alan forever. Life moved on. But she wanted to give him more time in her thoughts and heart. He’d been so very special to her. Alan had been an indulgent husband, along his lines. A truly indulgent husband would have found a house together, allowed her more say in their furnishings. And given her free rein to try her women’s safety idea like Jase had.
She rolled over and pushed the disloyal thoughts away. Yet another sprang into place. One she’d thought about before.
What would her life be like if Jase had asked her out first six years ago?
CHAPTER NINE
SHANNON KNEW SHE couldn’t get any work done. She couldn’t concentrate. She went out to the living room. Jase wasn’t around. Spying the newspaper he’d brought in that morning, she scooped it up and turned to the classified section. The sooner she found another place to live, the sooner she’d get her equilibrium back.
She was overwhelmed by the number of listings. She recognized a couple of locations, but most were completely foreign to her. She needed someone to help decipher the listings, and let her know which locations would be best suited for her.
Jase came to mind, but she thought he’d balk at the opportunity. He seemed perfectly content to have her stay in his guest room indefinitely. Taking care of her for Alan, she knew.
Maryellen would help. She’d take the paper in with her in the morning and see what advice Maryellen could give.
Tossing the paper aside, she leaned back on the sofa. Had Jase gone to take a nap? It didn’t sound like him. But he wasn’t elsewhere in the apartment.
Feeling restless, Shannon rose and went to unpack the backpack. There was little food left, but all the trash needed to be disposed of and she could put the blanket in with things to wash before returning to the linen closet.
That chore took less than five minutes.
Where was Jase?
Had he gone out again? She went to his bedroom door. It was closed most of the way, but not latched. She knocked. When there was no response, she pushed it open. The room was empty. He had gone out.
“He’s perfectly entitled to do anything he wants,” she murmured, feeling neglected. “He doesn’t need to babysit me.”
But after the entire day in his company, she missed him. Just as a friend, of course. Darn it, she wished he’d never told her he’d wanted to ask her out way back when. It was all she could think about. That and the promise he’d made Alan. Was his helpfulness now due to that promise or was he truly interested in her?
How could he be and date other women? She better not fool herself into thinking there was anything to Jase’s attention. Maybe he had had some fleeting interest in her six years ago, but that was a long time. He wasn’t a monk. She remembered Alan commenting time and again on the variety of women Jase dated.
She wondered what the woman had been like he’d taken to dinner last night. What kind of relationship did the two of them have?
Irritated that she was even thinking about that, she went back to her room and picked up her phone. Time for a reality check. She’d call her friend Marian and see what was happening back in Washington. Marian was always up to the minute on all the gossip. Shannon needed some of that right now.
“So how’s San Francisco?” Marian asked when she heard Shannon’s voice.
“Okay. My apartment building got burned and I’m back to sharing Jase’s space.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, it wasn’t my apartment, but another one on a different floor. But there was tons of water damage and they say it’ll be months before the place is habitable again. So until then I’m virtually homeless.”
“Kismet.”
“What?”
“Fate. I think you two are destined to be together.”
“Don’t be silly. Jase was Alan’s partner. He’s just being helpful. Rents are through the roof out here. He has a spare room no one was using, so he offered it to me.”
“Yeah, right. He could have put you up in a hotel, so don’t give me that.”
“Marian, I called to be cheered up, not to have someone play long-distance matchmaker.”
“Why not? You’re single again.”
“I am still mourning my husband,” Shannon said stiffly. Did everyone forget Alan so easily?
“I know, sweetie. It’s so sad. Alan was a great guy. But you knew before his death he was going. He made you promise to move on in life. Live up to it.”
“So soon?”
“Is there a law against soon?”
“I’m not ready.” She might never be ready for someone like Jase.
“I’m not saying marry the guy. But if he wants to show you a good time, go for it. Get some happiness back into your life. Those last weeks with Alan were so draining. And I know from what you said before
, Dean has been a pain. You’re in a new place, so make new friends and live a little.”
“Jase kissed me,” she blurted out.
“Whoa! He did? How was it?”
“Fantastic,” Shannon said reluctantly. Why had she told Marian? It was like throwing gasoline on a fire. She would never give up on the matchmaking with this information.
“See, I told you. The only time I saw his picture—the one with him and Alan getting that award?—I thought he was gorgeous. Is he in real life?”
“Oh, yes. He’s gorgeous, and sexy, and dynamic and intense. Sometimes when he looks at me I feel I’m the only person in the world.”
“Maybe the only person in his world,” Marian suggested.
“I don’t think so. I think he’s honoring a promise to Alan. I just hope Alan didn’t bring up marriage.”
“What?”
“I didn’t tell you, but before he died, Alan suggested one time that Jase and I marry. I mean, friendship is one thing, and asking his partner to watch out for me is even acceptable, but marriage?”
“Do you think Jase would do such a thing? Marry just because his partner wanted him to?”
“Normally I wouldn’t think so. Jase is very much his own man. But he and Alan had a special bond, and I sometimes think Jase feels Alan was responsible for the company taking off. I don’t. From what I saw once I joined them, Jase was the driving force. But if he felt obligated, then maybe he would.”
“Interesting he’s never married,” Marian pointed out.
“He dates. He went on a date last night.”
“With you staying there?”
“He made the date before the apartment burned and I moved back. I have no tie on him—he’s free to date anyone he wants.”
“But?”
“But nothing.”
“Come on, Shannon, this is your old friend Marian. Don’t tell me but nothing.”
“I shouldn’t be jealous.”
“Oh, girl, you aren’t falling for him, are you?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Hey, it’s okay if you do. He’s available, sexy, successful. What’s not to like about him?”
Shannon finally verbalized the thought that had most gripped her. “How would I ever know if he was interested in me for me, or because of Alan?”
Shannon was still puzzling over that question twenty minutes later when she heard Jase return.
Her conversation with Marian had not been settling. She almost wished she hadn’t called her friend, but had enjoyed sharing the problem. Not that Marian’s suggestions were helpful—she said go for it.
“Shannon?” Jase called from the hall.
She went to open her door. “I’m here,” she said, stepping into the hall.
Jase had obviously gone for that run he’d started on that morning. He was damp with perspiration. His T-shirt was molded to his chest, displaying the firm muscles that didn’t come from working behind a desk.
“I called for dinner. Food should arrive by the time I’m done with my shower, but be on the lookout for it in case it comes earlier than expected, okay? There’s money on the chest by the door.”
She nodded, fascinated about every aspect of this man.
He went into his bedroom and closed the door. She remained standing where she was, picturing him crossing to his bathroom, shedding the running clothes. Abruptly she moved, away from the thoughts flooding her mind.
Jase came out just as the doorbell rang. He continued to the door and came into the living room a couple of minutes later with an assortment of white cartons. The aroma of Chinese food made Shannon’s mouth water.
“I set the table while waiting,” she said. “Even brewed some hot tea to go with the meal.”
“Sounds good, thanks.”
They sat down and began to divide up the different dishes, some spicy, others milder.
Shannon hoped Jase would just eat and then go some place, though where she wasn’t sure. It was his apartment, after all. Maybe she should go to a movie or something. But she still didn’t know her way around the city well enough to find a movie theater at this time of night.
“You read the paper?” he asked, glancing at the sections of the Sunday paper scattered near the sofa.
“Just the classified section. I was looking for an apartment.”
He didn’t say anything.
Perversely she was annoyed he kept silent. She had prepared for an argument.
“I need to get a place of my own,” she clarified.
“Good idea. We’ll get Maryellen on it tomorrow,” he said, taking some more of the kung pao chicken.
“Fine.” She took another bite, confused. Maybe she’d misread the entire setup. Couldn’t she get anything straight when it concerned Jase?
By Friday of the following week, Shannon still had not found a place to rent. She was too busy at work to devote a lot of time to visiting apartments to check them out, but had gone to see at least a dozen. None suited her. She wasn’t that finicky, she knew. But either the location was poor, or there were no amenities she wanted, or the cost was far more than she wanted to pay.
The requests for their women’s safety services was growing. She went to speak to Jase about expanding by adding another employee for the project. He had a stack of files on his desk, his shirtsleeves rolled up.
Odd, she thought as she sat opposite him. They shared an apartment, yet she had rarely seen him the last two weeks. Was he avoiding her?
Next week he was off to Australia and would be gone for ten days. She’d have the apartment to herself. But she almost felt that way now.
“I haven’t seen much of you,” she said.
“I’ve been busy.” He tossed his pencil on the desk and leaned back in his chair. “Is that why you’re here? Because you haven’t seen me?”
“No.” She put her spread sheet on the desk. “I want another person on my project. We’re running ragged meeting the demands. This is really taking off.” She was excited about the way things were going and felt so vindicated. She wished Alan had had faith in her idea the way Jase had.
He picked up the sheet and scanned the numbers. “Sounds fine to me. You don’t need my permission to hire or fire, Shannon. You are a partner.”
“Really?”
“Did you think it was a made-up thing? You got Alan’s shares. You have more than pulled your weight since you’ve been here, and added to the bottom line. Why the incredulity?”
“It still feels strange, I guess.” She remained seated.
“Anything else?”
Was he trying to get rid of her? What happened to the man who had kissed her so passionately the weekend before last?
“I still haven’t found an apartment,” she said.
“You can stay where you are as long as you like. It was your idea to move. What’s the word on your current apartment?”
“I’m moving the rest of the furniture into storage. They estimated another six months or longer for repairs. Apparently they have to come up to code on several things that slipped under the radar before.”
He looked at her. “So stay.”
“We’ll see. You ready for your trip to Australia?”
“Yes. Ever been?”
She shook her head.
“Nice people. When I get back, I’m scheduled to return to Vancouver. Want to go? I think there are some groups up there interested in the women’s safety program. You could explain ours and see if it works there as well as it’s doing here in San Francisco.”
“I’d love to go. When exactly? I’ll have to get some new brochures made up, to reflect a different venue.” There were a dozen of things that popped into mind to work on if they were expanding the project to another city. Wouldn’t her team be excited!
He mentioned a date toward the end of the month.
She nodded. “Thanks, Jase. It’ll be terrific.” She rose.
“Shannon. I’m not taking anyone out this weekend, if you wanted to coo
k dinner again on Saturday night,” he said.
It was amazing how that casual comment had the ability to raise her spirits even more.
“I’d love to. How about lasagna and all the trimmings?”
“My mouth is watering already,” he said with a lopsided smile.
She left, trying to ignore the catch in her heart with that killer smile. They seemed to be back on their normal terms. She hoped it stayed that way.
Just before she was ready to call it a day, her phone rang. It was Dean Morris.
“What do you want now, Dean?” she asked, exasperated with his constantly harassing her.
“I sent your lawyer a copy of the trust. You’ll see some of the jewelry was in the trust and shouldn’t have been given away.”
“I’ll let my attorney decide that. Alan gave them to me, he must have thought they were his to do with as he wished.”
“Alan wasn’t thinking straight. He hadn’t been for a long time, if you asked me.”
No one did, she thought.
“He was right about you, though,” Dean said snidely.
“What are you talking about?”
“That guy who worked with him, Jase Pembrooke. As soon as Alan died, you up and leave for California.”
“If I had a home to remain in, I might have stayed in Virginia. But you’ll remember that was also part of the trust and you couldn’t wait for me to clear out.”
“Convenient, I’d say. As an excuse to move to California. How is Jase these days? It’s too bad Alan couldn’t have known you’d head there the minute he was gone,” Dean said unpleasantly.
“Because of business—and Alan wanted me to come.”
“So you say,” he replied.
“Why else?”
“To be with Jase, of course. Alan knew sooner or later you’d turn to a younger man.”
“That’s not so!”
“Alan wasn’t dead two months before you joined the younger partner in that firm.”
Shannon took a deep breath. She didn’t like what Dean was insinuating. “Jase and I have a working relationship. Nothing more.” She dismissed the kisses instantly. She’d never tell Dean about those. Who knew how he’d interpret that?
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