by Angie Hayes
I never pictured my life this way. Here I am married to a man that provides nothing more than good sex and stability. Yeah, it sounds good to some, but that’s not enough for me. I thought I was ready to leave Troy and start over when I was having my affair, but deep down I knew I really wasn’t. I was just on some revenge shit. Thinking back, now I really wondered if I should have just left as planned. This is all too much! I know I said this countless of times before, but my God, this man just never stops! Now I gotta deal with some new shit about a restraining order.
I really thought that we could work past all our problems when I came back home. Especially since he told me that the chick had a miscarriage. He also informed me that he had absolutely no more dealings with her what-so-ever. Troy even claimed that he wanted to start developing a relationship with all of other his kids, and work on being civil with their moms. I had never heard him speak like that, so that alone made me think he was really trying to change. Not to mention the complete turnaround he was doing at home. Troy had begun being more attentive to me and the kids. We had more outings as a family, and he started being the ideal husband I wanted, scratch that, the husband I needed him to be. Just like in the past, when it comes to Troy there is always calm before the storm.
I take the last bite of my bagel and stared out of the window. I jumped when I felt someone’s presence behind me. Quickly they place a folded up piece of paper on my table and walk away. It all happened so fast I couldn’t even see who it was. The fact that the café was crowded didn’t make it any better. Confused, I skeptically open up the paper: I can help your husband’s case. Call me and I’ll explain everything. There was a phone number provided at the bottom, but no signature. Still puzzled I look around the café again, just to see if I recognize anyone, but I don’t.
This shit is getter more weird and confusing by the minute. Maybe it some possible truth to what Troy was saying about all this being bullshit.
Guess we’ll have to call this number to find out.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Keith
“So what are the chances of me getting joint custody?” I asked my lawyer, Frank.
We were having a quick meeting at this sandwich shop, while on my lunch break to discuss my legal rights concerning Destiny. After the big throw down with Keisha and Stacy, I already knew what time it was. There was no doubt in my mind that Stacy was going to make shit hard for me when it came to me seeing my daughter. I decided right then and there that I was just going to go ahead and go through the courts.
“Well considering the facts that you already pay for your child’s schooling, health insurance and other necessities, it shows the courts that you are trying to be in her life. What’s going to happen is I’m going to file a petition to the courts. On top of that I’m going to have the investigator from our firm look into Ms. Brown’s background. From the way you told me how she acts, there is a good chance that she may be hiding something. In the mean time I want you to record all phone conversations between the two of you. I want the courts to see how defiant she is when you ask her about visitation.” Frank instructed.
“Alright cool. I really hope shit doesn’t get too messy. All I want is be able to see my daughter without a problem. Hell, I don’t even care about child support.” I told him.
I hate I have to take this route, but I don’t see any other solution.
“Just a heads up, family court can get very messy. That’s why we need to be prepared for anything that can be thrown our way. If you have anything in your past that you feel could damage your chances, you have to be totally honest with me so I can handle it.”
“I’m good Frank; I don’t have anything to hide.”
“Sounds good. Like I said I’ll file the necessary documents this afternoon. We’ll then wait to get a court date with a mediator, who will sit all down and see if both parties can come to an agreement without having a judge to decide. Hopefully you two can, but from the sound of things you guys might not.”
“Let’s do this then.” I said anxious to get things started.
“Okay I’m on it. Don’t forget what I said about the phone calls. I’ll talk to you later.” We said our goodbyes and Frank walked out the door.
I continue to sit at the table thinking about everything. I’ve been married for less than a year and was still suppose to be in the honeymoon stage, not going through custody issues with my baby momma and sleeping in separate bedrooms at home from my wife. I know Keisha is still upset about the way she thinks I handled things, but I was trying to get her to understand things from a mature perspective. Two grown women don’t have no business fighting. All that other shit she was talking about how Stacy came to the door and how we must be fucking is ridiculous. I would never cheat on my wife, and she should know that. Even though she gets on my nerves sometimes, I love her ass to death! I need her to understand that I can’t control other peoples actions; only mines. Keisha should have really trusted me enough to handle it. I don’t wanna continue things the way they are between us though. The fact that we are both stubborn as hell doesn’t make it any better. I think it’s about time for me to man up and make things right.
I picked up the phone to call her expecting her to answer, but it kept ringing until her voicemail picked up. My next call was to the house and the same thing happened. That’s strange, Keisha always answers when I call, even when she’s upset. Since she’s not answering, I decide to send her a text asking her to call me. Maybe she’s tied up running an errand or something. As soon as I hit the ‘send’ key my phone rings. Hoping it’s my wife, I prepare to answer, but notice that instead of her it’s Troy.
“Damn fool, you finally came up for air?” I joked as soon as I answered the phone. “I been calling yo’ ass for a few days now.”
“Man, I got cased up in some shit and ended up going to jail over some nonsense.” Troy responded angrily.
“What the fuck happened?” I listened as he filled me in on what went down over the last few days.
“Damn man, you always in some shit.” I said.
“I know, but I’m trying to steer straight. As soon as I finally decide to do right, all this shit starts to come at me.” Troy sighed.
I wanted to tell him to expect more, because karma is a muthafucka, but I wasn’t gonna knock my boy down even further.
“So what’s gonna happen now?” I inquired.
“Well I just have to wait until I go to court to see how this is gonna play out. Candy supposed to be there and I got a feeling that hoe gone act all Hollywood in there. Man, I regret the day I ever fucked with that bitch!” he barked.
“Hey I told you yo’ dick was gone get you in trouble my man.” I told him truthfully. “Only thing I can tell you is that if you come up outta this, which I’m sure you will, I hope you get ya shit together and cut out all this other stuff you got going on. You got too much to lose man. You got a wife and kids, what more else do you want out here? As you can see ain’t shit out here in these streets but fucking trouble.” I chastised to him.
I really hope he’s listening because I was tired of telling him the same thing over and over again.
“I know, and I’m telling you, I’m truly learning my lesson. Anyways, how was ya trip, did you see my baby girl?” Troy changed the subject.
I already knew the question was coming, I just didn’t know when.
“The trip was cool and yeah I seen ya twin. Alicia must have really hated yo’ ass while she was pregnant, because lil mama look just like you.” I laughed.
Troy didn’t, instead he was silent for a moment. I figured he probably was reflecting on what I said.
“So did you get a chance to ask her about me seeing my daughter?” I could hear the hope in his voice.
“I asked and she wasn’t to inviting about it. I’m sure you can expect that though. She did say she wasn’t the one to keep a child from their father; she just didn’t want her daughter caught up in yo’ mess. She told me to let you know that
when she feels like the time is right, she’ll get in contact with you.” I told him.
I was actually shocked that Alicia was considering being cordial after all Troy had put her through. I guess some women do know how to deal with situations like this as an adult. If only my situation was this easy.
“I really appreciate it Keith. I know you didn’t want to be in the middle. I’m glad, just surprised that she’s open to at least thinking about it. He said.
“Let me ask you a question. If you guys come to some sort of agreement, will you tell Cass about Zaria?” I asked.
“That’s a tough one, but after all the shit that’s been going on with me, I’m going to tell her. I can’t keep living all these lies, this shit is draining.” Troy responded seriously.
Finally he’s talking with some sense. I didn’t tell him how I also had the conversation with Shawn about the situation. I decided that was something only between Shawn and me.
“Well other than that, is everything good on your end bra?” Troy asked.
“Yeah I’m good. Nothing major that I can’t handle.” I answered him.
I didn’t feel like getting into the shit I had going on.
“That’s good. Well I was just hollering at ya, I need to get off this phone and call these folks at the job, and let them know what’s going on court and shit, I’m a holla bra.”
“A’ight one.” After I hung up with Troy I checked my phone and noticed I still haven’t had a returned message from Keisha. I guess I’ll see her when I get off.
As I’m walking to my car getting ready to head back to base, I looked up and see what looks like my wife coming out of the hotel across the street. Naw, that can’t be her. Moments later a light skin guy appears and proceeds to walk her to her car. It was then that I got a better look, and there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s her. Before she climbs in, he cups her face into his hands and kisses her on the lips. She laughs before getting in the car and driving off. What the fuck? I couldn’t believe the shit I just saw. It’s like I was having an out of body experience and I couldn’t move. I just stood in the same spot in a daze.
I had officially just caught my wife having an affair.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Alicia
Since the visit with Keisha and Keith, my mind has been all over the place. Shawn has been calling me every day leaving messages, and checking up on us. He’s sent flowers for me and teddy bears for Zaria, and even left cards in the mailbox with money inside to cover all the bills. He’s adamant about how I should let him really explain himself, and at first I wasn’t trying to hear it. That was until Keith sat me down right before he and Keisha left.
“Look Alicia, I see you as my little sister, and I never want to see you hurt again. It’s fucked up what Troy did to you and I’m so sorry for that. Now I know it seems like Shawn is no better, but honestly he is. You really need to at least hear him out. Even though he didn’t tell you this up front, please hear him out.” Keith requested.
It was crazy because here was my ex’s best friend almost begging me to talk to my new boyfriend, who he met through me.
“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll think about it.” I told him honestly. Between him and Keisha I really was pushing towards talking to him.
Keith also mentioned to me that Troy wants me to call him, because he wants to apologize and make things right. He also wants to see Zaria. Lawd, so many things are coming at me, I feel like I’m on the receiving end of a machine full of tennis balls! The only thing that keeps me sane was my baby girl. With everything that’s going on, I needed to get away. I decided to take a breather and go visit my folks for two weeks. They haven’t seen Zaria in person yet, and I really needed to be around family. Hopefully while I’m down there I will have a clear mind on what I wanna do about the Shawn and Troy situations. A knock at my door broke my train of thought. I’m not expecting company. I don’t know anybody down here, so I have a feeling as to who it was already. Fuck it, if it is him, I might as well talk to him now. I opened the door and there he stood dressed in his uniform. He smelled good and was clean cut, so his appearance was on point; but his face wore the look of a lost soul.
I just stepped aside without saying a word and let him in.
“Thanks for allowing me to come in. Can I see Zaria?” he asked. I didn’t respond, I just turned away and went to her room to get her from her crib.
I walked back into the living room and handed her to him. He was so happy to be holding her again. Shawn began moving about the living room, while rocking her in his arms. He stared down at her speaking baby talk with a smile on his face. The scene softened my heart. That is until I remind myself that this muthafucka is married. While Shawn spent time with Zaria, I busied myself in the kitchen by washing her bottles. When I was finished, I headed back into the living room and sat down on the love seat across from Shawn, who was seated on the sofa. Zaria was now fast asleep on his chest.
I sat silently watching them, not saying a word. How can a man be so nurturing and caring, be such a fucking liar? Shawn stood from the couch and went to put Zaria down in her crib. Before long he emerged again and took his seat back on the couch. With a sigh, he dropped his head in his hands. This lasted for a full minute, before he looked up at me; this time he had tears in his eyes.
“Alicia I’m so sorry for hurting you. I swear on my life I never intentionally meant to cause you pain baby.” He finally said.
“Shawn, come on now. How the hell did you think I was going to feel after you told me you were married?” I questioned not allowing his tears to deter how hurt I was. “How could you do this to me after all the shit I went through in my past? You saw my pain.” I said to him in a calm yet angry voice. I didn’t want to yell because Zaria was in the next room sleeping.
“I know baby, I know. Honestly I thought I could handle this situation without you ever knowing I was married. The plan was to be divorced by the time we got married, but Carmen all of a sudden didn’t want a divorce.” Shawn explained.
“Carmen, so that’s your wife name I assume?” I asked in a sarcastic tone.
“She’s not my wife, we have a contract marriage and that’s it. No living together, no sleeping together, nothing. This was an arraigned agreement between us right before I got deployed, so I could get some extra money and she could use my benefits. The plan was to just stay married for the year I was over there, but when I got back and I told her about you, all of a sudden she flipped the script. She started wanting large sums of money, trying to blackmail me saying that if I didn’t give it to her she was gonna tell you and refuse to sign the divorce papers. I was so scared of losing you, that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. That’s why I kept trying to postpone the wedding, trying to convince her to just get the divorce.” Shawn told me as tears continued to roll down his face.
I didn’t say anything at first, because I was trying to digest everything he had just told me. I felt it in my heart that he was telling the truth, but he still lied and hurt me.
“Shawn, why didn’t you just tell me all this up front? Why wait all this time?” I asked. My face was now covered with tears as well.
“It was the selfish part of me that didn’t want risk losing you.” He admitted.
“But you of all people know what I have been through! You saw how damaged and hurt I was and you promised that you wouldn’t hurt me, yet you turned around and did the same thing he did!” I yelled. I tried really hard to control my emotions but I couldn’t anymore.
“I know I fucked up, but if you please, please give me a chance to make things right, I will spend the rest of my life making sure I will gain your trust back baby. All I want is you and Zaria. Y’all are my world, and right now I can’t function.” Shawn was now on one knee in front of me pleading.
“What about this whole contract marriage. You said yourself she won’t agree to a divorce. So you expect me to just only have half of you? While on paper, and in the eyes of the l
aw you are still some else’s husband?” I asked looking at him crazy.
I’m so damn tired of getting the short end of the stick. I’ve never put any of the men that I’d been with through half the drama that they’ve put me through. Yet somehow, I’m always the one getting fucked.
“Well I went and talked to JAG (Judge Advocate General's), and they informed me that by the laws of the state that we were married in, we have to be separated for a year or both agree to a divorce, before I can file. So I went down to the county court yesterday morning and filed the papers. I promise you baby I’m handling this.” Shawn assured me. “They even told me that I can still get a divorce, even if she contests it. Hell, she may be able to get some of my money, but I don’t give a fuck. All I want is you and Zaria, and I want for the both of you to carry my last name.” He expressed.
I didn’t respond right away. Seeing the hesitancy in my face Shawn spoke again
“Alicia please baby, I love you so fucking much girl, please!” He said to me as he stood up and sat on the couch next to me.
I took a deep breath before I responded.
“Shawn, I love you too, but what you did was not only wrong but deceiving. You had me believing that I finally was with a man that I could truly call my own when that wasn’t the case. Even though you guys have a contract marriage, the fact remains that you still are married and you lied to me about it. I honestly believe that you are sorry, because of your actions here now, but it’s just that I need some time to figure things out. Zaria and I are flying down to visit my family and we’ll be gone for two weeks. While I’m away, I’m going to use that time to think about us.” I told him.
As bad as I wanted to tell him to come home, with the notion that as soon as the year is up we can go get married, I can’t. I will not risk my heart being hurt anymore.