by Angie Hayes
With a look of defeat on his face Shawn stood up and looked down at me.
“I understand and respect that. Just come back to me Alicia, because I know we can get through this. I’m so, so sorry.” He shook his head.
“I hear you Shawn, I really do.”
“When do you leave?” he asked.
“The day after tomorrow, our flight leaves at ten a.m.”
“Well, can I at least take you to the airport?”
“That’s fine.”
“I’m also going to put some extra money in your bank account. I want you to be comfortable while you’re there.” Shawn said being his usual caring self, one of the reasons why I love him so much.
“You don’t have to do that, I have it covered.” I assured him.
“I know you do, but you know I don’t care. I always provide.” He assured with a wink of his eye.
“Thank you.”
“Well, let me get out of here. I have to be up early for a ruck march. I’ll call you later to check on the two of you. I love you Alicia.” Shawn said before giving me a kiss on my cheek and leaving out the door.
Just the touch of his lips made me miss him even more! I never felt for anyone how I feel for Shawn; not even with Troy. This is why I know this is real, and even though it’s still fucked up how he lied to me, I can sense the sincerity and remorse he has. I remember when I found out that Troy was married, that muthafucka basically told me to deal with it. Whew! I really needed to clear my head. Hopefully my trip home will help me clarify to things.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Shawn
I swear it feels like my days are dragging by and my nights are miserable. I miss my woman’s presence, her smell, her touch. I also miss my baby girl. I did like Keith suggested and messaged her everyday letting her know I love her and if she needed anything I was here. She never responded but I didn’t care, I was persistent. Finally I just said fuck it and went over to the condo. I knew it was a possibility that she could have either not opened the door, or tell me to get the hell away from her shit, but I didn’t care; all I wanted to do was see her and pray she would hear me out.
Surprisingly Alicia allowed me in, and we talked for a while. I laid everything on the table, and it felt good. I didn’t get what I wanted, because she told me that she had to think things over, but at least I was better off than before. I left feeling like the weight had been lifted off my shoulders and in my mind we were going to be a family again.
I decided to call Keith up and let him know what went down.
“Hey man, you have some time to talk?” I asked him when he answered the phone.
“Yeah, what’s up?” he said in a low tone. I went on to tell him what had transpired between Alicia and I.
“That’s good, just be careful. She might forgive you and take you back, all while plotting some revenge shit. You look up and she’s fucking another nigga behind ya back.” Keith stated bitterly.
Whoa! Where the fuck is this coming from? I never heard him go in like this before. He’s usually the positive one.
“Damn you sure you okay?” I asked him.
“Man, check this shit out. So I go and meet with my lawyer for lunch the other day to discuss me getting visitation rights with Destiny. As I’m getting ready to leave I see Keisha leaving the hotel across the street, with some tall light skinned dude. He walks her to her car and gives her a kiss on the fucking mouth! I had been calling her ass that entire morning, even sent text messages, and she didn’t even attempt to return any of them.” He explained.
“Keisha, you sure?” I asked. This shit seemed unreal.
“Hell yeah I’m sure. I know my fucking my wife!” he yelled into the phone.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Did you say anything to her?”
“When I got home that evening I asked her what she did all day because I called her and she hadn’t returned my calls, she had the nerve to tell me her phone fell in the fucking toilet. She claims she had it sitting in rice draining the water out and that’s why she wasn’t getting any of my calls or messages. I wanted to just wring her fucking neck for standing in my face lying dawg, but you know I’m not that type of dude.”
“Yeah, and you can’t risk your career either. You know how the military frowns upon us getting into any type of trouble.” I reminded him.
“Oh I know! That and the fact that I’m trying to get joint custody of Destiny is what saved her trifling ass.”
“So what do you plan on doing?” I asked.
“She doesn’t know it, but I took off tomorrow. I’m going to leave the house like I normally do for work and see what the fuck she’s up to. If she leaves the house, I’m a follow her ass.” Keith said menacingly.
“I just don’t want you getting into any trouble man.” I told him. I can’t imagine how he’s feeling. Shit, I’d be ready to body a nigga too if it had been Alicia.
“I’m not, but that’s my fucking wife. She ain’t gone be getting dicked down by another nigga, while I’m taking care of her ass! That shit ain’t happening! If that’s the case, her ass can bounce.” Keith said.
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Keisha is cheating on him, and with who?
“I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I really believe that you and Keisha can get through this. You do need to find out what’s going on though, and I’m here if you need anything.” I told him trying to be as supportive of him as he’s been to me.
“Thanks Shawn, I appreciate it. I went through this shit before with Stacy. I was a good man to her, only to have her shit on me. Keisha is my wife, so this makes it ten times worse!” Anger mixed with hurt was evident in his voice.
“Let’s just say you do catch her cheating, will you divorce her?” I asked.
They haven’t even been married a full year, so I know divorce is the farthest thing from his mind.
“Honestly I don’t know. I didn’t get married to get no fucking divorce. I love Keisha and Jass to the moon man. I just don’t know what no other man can give her that I’m not already giving her.” He said to me in a defeated tone.
“I know you got some shit to think over so I’mma let you go. Like I said, call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks again Shawn, I’ll talk to later.” Keith said and hung up the phone.
Keith is a good dude and I actually like Keisha and him together. I really hope things can get better for them, hell for all of us! As I sit here caught up in my thoughts my phone chimes. I glance down and notice an unfamiliar number. Normally I don’t answer calls like this, but I did today.
“You have a collect call from an inmate in Henrico County Jail; press one to accept the charges or two to decline.”
I don’t who the hell this could be calling me from jail. I accepted the call just to see what’s going on. “Hello?” I said once the operator informed us the call was now connected.
“Oh my God Shawn thank you for taking the call, I didn’t have anyone else to call!”
“Carmen?” I asked puzzled.
“Yes, it’s me.” She replied as if she was crying.
“What the fuck you doing calling me from jail? What’s going on?”
“Shawn listen, I got caught up in some shit. Cops came barging in my place with a warrant saying that they were told there were narcotics in there. They searched it and found some stuff there, but I was only holding it for my boyfriend.” She explained.
Boyfriend? This bitch had a dude but refused to give me a divorce?
“So what the fuck you expect me to do? I hope you don’t think I’m going to bail yo’ ass out, because that ain’t happening.” I told her. As far as I’m concerned she can sit until her ass rot in there.
“I know I have been a nasty bitch to you by making things difficult, and for that I’m so sorry. I just really need you to help me out. I don’t have a bond due to the amount of drugs that they found in the apartment, but I was told I should really consider getting my own at
torney.”
I know she don’t expect me to hire her one. She was already trying to blackmail me outta ten grand, so I know damn well she doesn’t expect me to give her shit.
“Carmen look, I feel bad you and all, but all this shit you got going on is on you. I just want my divorce, so I can go on with my life.” I told her.
“What about if I give you a quick divorce and won’t contest it? I also won’t ask anything from you, I promise. Please just help me…please!” Carmen cried on the phone.
One minute left the operator interrupted on the phone.
A quick and simple divorce would be what I need right now to move things along with Alicia. We wouldn’t have to wait a year, and I wouldn’t have to worry about if Carmen would try and take any of my shit. This could work in my favor after all.
“Okay listen, I still have some old connects in VA, and one happens to be a lawyer. I’ll give him a call and ask him to look into what’s going on. Call me back tomorrow afternoon and I should have more information for you.” I told her.
I don’t know what type of shit Carmen got herself involved in and I actually don’t care. My main focus was me and Alicia, so if I have to pay for this shit, then so be it.
“Oh my God thank you so much Shawn! Thank you! I’ll call you back tomorrow.” Carmen yelled right before the line went dead.
Once my line was clear, I strolled down my contacts in my phone and stopped at my boy’s number. After giving him Carmen’s information and explaining everything, he told me he would get on it right away. When I asked him how much his retainer was, he told me that all I’d have to pay is the court filing fees.
I guess God is looking out for me after all.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Troy
I guess I have to tell Cass about Candy. There’s no sense in lying because it’s all going to come out anyway. From me getting suspended from my job, to ending up being locked up, is all connected. I figure, fuck it; I might as well come clean about Alicia too. I’m tired of all this shit. It’s draining. I really need to get my shit together.
Cass had posted my bond and was waiting outside to pick me up. As soon as I saw her I breathed a sigh of relief and gave her a hug. She didn’t push me away, which was a good sign. The drive home was quiet. I was trying to figure out how I was going to come out and tell her everything. Once we got home, the first thing I did was go straight to take a shower. I wanted to get the jail stench off of me. When I was finished, I changed into some sweats and a t-shirt and headed to the kitchen where I heard Cass cooking.
“Where are the kids?” I asked her as she stood at the stove stirring something in a pot.
“They went with my sister to her coworker’s kid’s birthday party.” She responded. “So you wanna tell me what the fuck is going on.” Cass said. She cut off the eye of the stove, turned around and came to take a seat at the table.
The flood gates opened, and unleased everything. I told her all about Alicia, my affair, the pregnancies, and how she moved out of town with another man. I shed light on the Candy situation, letting her know that she was the one that left the letter in the mailbox. I explained that she was the same one who had filed the false restraining order against me, and how I went over there and tried to whoop her ass before police stopped me. My very last confession was the fact that the woman that we saw at the store that day was Alicia and that the baby she was pregnant with was mine. By the time I was finished Cass just sat staring at me with tears sliding down her face.
“I know you heard this before, but I am truly sorry. I don’t even have an excuse baby, none at all. But what I can tell you is that I am tired. I’m tired of acting stupid and being disrespectful to my family. I’m tired of constantly playing with these women out here when I have a wife at home, and most of all I’m just tired of putting you through bullshit. I just wanna get through this court thing and do right. You already know that I wanna start by getting in contact with my other kids mother’s and making things right with them. I gotta start being in their lives more.” I paused, and looked her in the eyes. “Most of all I just want my wife by my side. Believe me, I understand if you don’t want to be. I need to grow up Cass, I really do.” I laid it all out there.
I just didn’t see any other way around any my shit. I had to try and make things right, or the karma I was already receiving was only going to get worse.
We sat there in silence for about five minutes before Cass spoke.
“Troy, you are not the only one that’s tired. I’ve been holding on to us for so long that I’m scared to let go and walk on my own. I realized when I did leave for that little bit of time, I was still standing. I came back for a final chance to see if we really could get through the worst, but I now know we can’t.” My heart drops. “I wanted to be able to say that I gave my marriage everything I had, and I have. You are a fucking parasite and a sociopath. You can sit here and think you are in confessionals and come clean to me all you want, but hear me when I say this shit here: me and you are officially done! I just can’t anymore. I will never, ever be able to trust you again or look at you the same way.” she cried.
“I really pray you do get right. You need to make peace with everybody you fucked over. I don’t give a damn if these women knew you were married, they still didn’t deserve to not have their kids taken care of. I sat back and watch you mistreat them and me. I knew what was going on, so I’m no better, but I’m admitting to my mistakes. I need some time to get me and kids things in order and then I’ll be moving out.” Cass said.
I couldn’t even fight her on anything she was saying or beg her to stay. She had every right to feel the way she felt.
“No Cass, you and the kids stay. I brought this house for my family. So I’ll leave. I’m pretty sure I’ll have my job back shortly.” I said.
“That’s fine.” she rolled her eyes.
“I lost my appetite so you can fix yourself a plate to eat if you want, or throw the shit away; I don’t really care. Who knows I might have slipped you some shit in it. Bon appetite!” She mocked as she got up to leave the kitchen.
Before she was completely out of sight, she stopped in her tracks and turned around to me.
“Oh by the way, you might want to call the number on this paper. Someone gave this to me earlier when I was having breakfast across the street from the courthouse.” Cassandra said as she dropped the folded up paper on the table in front of me.
“Who gave you this?” I asked as I opened it up. There was a short note and a phone number written inside.
“I don’t know. It all happened so fast.” She said.
“And you didn’t see who gave it to you?” I asked.
“Nope. Considering the fact that your back is up against the wall, you might want to call ’em to see what’s going on, because I’m definitely not riding wit' yo’ ass on this one. You are officially on ya own Troy.” Cassandra said and walked outta the kitchen.
I continue to stare at the handwriting wondering who it could be, and how they could they help me. I guess I had no choice but to give it a shot. I remove my cell from my pocket and punch in the keys. When the person answers the phone, I give them my name. They introduce themselves, and told me exactly why they could help me.
After listening to what they had to say I knew it was official, I’ve been granted a second chance.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Stacy
It’s been a week and I still can’t send Destiny to daycare. Her bruises were still visible, and I’m a ticking time bomb. To add fuel to the fucking fire, I was just served with court papers stating that Keith was requesting joint custody, so I’m beyond pissed and can’t get to the phone fast enough.
“Really Keith! So you go down and file for joint custody behind my back? You’re really going to try and drag me in court for this shit?” I yelled into the phone as soon as he answered.
“Look Stacy, I tried to be reasonable with yo’ ass, but I refuse to let you keep playing ga
mes with my daughter. You don’t wanna compromise and be fair so I’m going to let the courts decide. Also, I didn’t do shit behind your back. If you had answered the phone, you would have known.” He said calmly, which pissed me off even more.
“I don’t care about you seeing her Keith, it’s just that I don’t want her around yo’ crazy ass wife! She attacked me for no reason, so for that, I want you to visit her here.” I said.
He needs to be here visiting us as a family anyway. Fuck Keisha.
“I told you I didn’t have a problem visiting her over there at first, but after the stunt you pulled coming to the door like that, I don’t blame Keisha for feeling some type of way. I don’t know what your motives are Stacy, but it ain’t happening with me. All I wanna do is be able to see Destiny and spend some time with her without a hassle.”
See this is why I go the fuck off. All he wants is Destiny. I’m his family too, what about me?
“You know what, fuck you Keith!” I yelled and hung up phone in his face.
I wrap my arms around my knees and start shaking, while rocking back and forth. He’ll never love you, he only wants his daughter.
“Shut the fuck up!” I screamed holding my head trying to silence the voices.
I should take my ass over to their house and kill all they asses; Keisha’s daughter too. No, that’s too easy. I want him to suffer.
I got up and marched into Destiny’s Bedroom where she was fast asleep. I stood stand in the doorway looking at her. My baby looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world. Instantly I hate her because of that reason, as well as the fact that she’s a part of Keith. I rushed over to her bed, snatched the pillow from under her head and covered her face with it. In no time Destiny wakes up and begins to kick and squirm, but I don’t remove the pillow. All I see is Keith. After a while her movement stops and it’s then that I snap out of my trance. I quickly remove the pillow from her face and see her lying motionless.
“Oh my God what have I done?” I cry out moving swiftly to grab the phone.