Saving Amy

by Daphne Barak

  I ask Janis, ‘If there was a bottom line and you had a wish, what would it be?’

  ‘For [Blake] to disappear,’ she shoots back. ‘… I speak to people [who] say, “Oh, that husband’s no good” … But Amy has married him and I’m not going to say, “Your husband’s no good Amy” because I’m actually having a go at her.’

  ‘Have you ever mentioned divorce to Amy?’ I ask Janis.

  ‘No, I haven’t.’

  Mitch says, ‘Blake has. … I’ve got letters from Blake going back six months: “I wanna get a divorce, this situation is …” And every time he says it we say, “Can you confirm it, Blake. We’ll send a solicitor in and confirm it.” But he won’t confirm it. Now I’ve got letters from Blake saying he doesn’t want any money, he wants a divorce. … Although he has supposedly sent similar letters to Amy, I think she chooses to ignore them. She is living in a little bit of a fantasy world in regard to their relationship. And unless something drastic happens it won’t be her that sorts a divorce [out].’

  Mitch continues, ‘[Blake] asked me what he should do in terms of – this was since I’ve seen you – in terms of their relationship. … I was worried he might be taping the conversation. [I said] “I’m not telling you to do anything; however, every time you are on the phone to Amy she has a relapse. Every time you’ve been together with Amy since you’ve been married she’s been in hospital six times and nearly died twice. She hasn’t since you’ve been together made a recording and she’s hardly performed and your plan is to come out and be with my daughter again – what do you think is going to happen Blake?”’

  ‘And he said, “Well, I take your point.”’

  ‘I said, “At some point you’re going to have to take responsibility for what happens to her in the future.” And he said, “Will you help me to get a flat and everything …” I said, “… get your solicitor to confirm what the situation is and we will discuss how we will help or if we will help you.”

  ‘“First I’ve got to know if you’re planning to go back to Amy …” But I’ve told him whatever the situation [is] – and even if I break the law – I cannot allow a situation similar to that situation in the hotel where they nearly killed each other … I’ve told him that if I have to break the door down I’ll break the door down. There won’t be anything to stop me getting to my daughter and helping her. You’ve got to understand that!’

  ‘We have all got a very strong sense of family,’ Mitch says. ‘[Amy’s] sense of family is even stronger, which is a kind of contradiction and one of the “weapons” … it’s not a nice term, but one of the “weapons” I’ve used [to] distance myself from her. Not distance myself from her emotionally, but [I] don’t see her as often and very, very quickly she will say to Raye, her manager … “Where’s my Dad? Is my Dad OK? I haven’t spoken to my Mum.”

  ‘I don’t know if it does her any good. But I don’t want her to think because … I’ll sit there and we’ll have a kiss and cuddle and have a cup of tea … that by doing this I am in any way empowering her to carry on doing what’s she’s doing.

  ‘She knows what she is doing is not right … you know we’ve talked about how close she was with my mother [Cynthia]. All she’s worried about is … she’s very spiritual; we all are … and we both had dreams about my Mum saying she’s not happy with us. My Mum said to me “I’m not happy with you” … and Amy has the same dream – “Amy I’m not happy with you.” So, in Amy’s mind … that’s saying it’s the drugs situation. Well, that’s great because … maybe if my Mum was here [she] wouldn’t have any influence on Amy’s drug situation but “up there”, even in the dreams, in the subconscious, she’s thinking “I’ve got to do something about it.” And she is doing something about it.’

  ‘… Amy talks about the future all of the time. She wants to move into her new home, she wants to put a studio in there and it’s always, “Dad, can we do this? Dad, can we do that?” and “I’m really looking forward to going on tour in March 2009. Will you and Mum come with me.” So when she’s doing that she’s talking about the future and how life is going to be in the future. … She does want to live.’

  Janis interjects, ‘But I think she probably feels trapped.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I ask.

  ‘Well, her body’s trapping her with the addiction.’

  Janis and Mitch continue to visit their daughter in hospital. Janis tells me: ‘… When I saw her last night in the hospital and I held her hand when she was going to sleep I thought she is still my baby, and it reminded me of when I used to sit with her at night and read a story to her, and her brother as well … I could see that she looked like she was asleep so I let go of her hand and slipped away and she said “Mum where are you?” and I said “Okay, I am here.” … That is what it was like – I had gone back in time to when she was a baby … I could have picked her up in my arms and put her there like a baby, because that is how she is. It is like the need to rescue her is enormous; I just want her to be OK. I would do whatever it took to make that right and I am sure Mitch would as well. The pair of us are … beside ourselves in what can we do to help her.’

  ‘Can you do anything more than you already do?’ I ask.

  ‘I don’t think so. I think we are doing everything that we can. It is a case of where she has to take herself to that edge and say, “Wow! Enough!”’

  ‘And you just sit and wait?’

  ‘Yes,’ Janis replies.

  I comment that this must be both painful and frustrating. Also, time is not on their side. Janis does not disagree.

  ‘It is a case of there [are] times when control is not possible and you have just got to go with it. … You have to go with the flow because that is all one can do. It’s a tough one.’

  We have been filming for several weeks now and Mitch decides it is time to tell his friends and family about the documentary as it is starting to leak to the press. Amy is still in hospital, however.

  I decide to host a party for him. The official reason for the celebration is that Mitch wants to wish his loved ones “Happy New Year” and he is also going to sing Sinatra. The third reason, unbeknownst to Mitch is it’s a surprise birthday party for him. The idea for the party first came up a few weeks earlier when I and my film crew went to a social club in Chiswick, where Mitch and his friend, Fred, performed from time to time. I initially thought we should have the party there, but Mitch said to me: ‘No, no. Daphne, it is almost New Year. I want my family and friends to remember that night. Let’s do it “Daphne style.”’ It was important for him and so we did.

  So, on a Friday evening in late December, Les Ambassadeurs in Mayfair is surrounded with extra security. Guests by invitation only – including the Winehouse extended family and close friends – pour into this exclusive venue via a separate entrance to attend a champagne reception. Every female guest will receive a yellow rose.

  Sotiros, the manager of the club, renovates the basement quickly, just for this event. Within a few days, it becomes the glamorous ‘Red Club’.

  In the days leading up to the party, though, I send my producer Erbil to Janis’s house in North London to pick up some photographs. This is a trip down memory lane for him as he lived in West Finchley as a student, but he hasn’t been back there in about 30 years.

  When he arrives at the house someone lets him in. He immediately notices Janis standing in the kitchen doorway, using it to brace herself. She looks tired and needs to hold onto the frame for support. The hallway of the house is small, only wide enough for one person to navigate at a time – so perfect for Janis, but strange to someone used to the large box-like houses of the United States.

  There are two tiny rooms to the left of the main hallway, and two larger rooms on the right-hand side. The first room on the right is Janis’s bedroom, where they go first. Three photographs hang on the walls. One image of a mountain top immediately grabs Erbil’s attention. He asks Janis what it is. The photograph is obviously important to her as it’s quite p
rominently displayed.

  Janis tells him that she went there with a group of family and friends. ‘Of course Amy was not there!’ she adds.

  ‘Why not?’ Erbil asks.

  Janis responds, ‘Why, if I had taken her there, she would have found a way to kill herself!’

  Both Mitch and Janis have already told me how fatalistic Amy is and how she often plays on this to scare them, albeit probably to get their attention.

  Now Janis recounts to Erbil how many times Amy has been near death – running into roads after dogs and so on. Amy was the kind of child that needed to be under constant surveillance in order to prevent her from harming herself, it seems.

  The way that Janis describes her indicates to Erbil that Amy is pretty much still that same little kid.

  After they leave the bedroom, Erbil helps Janis along the corridor where he comes across two men. The first is in his mid-50s and looks very tired. We later find out from Mitch that he is an old friend of Janis’s, someone who sometimes helps her out. A much larger, burlier man turns out to be Janis’s boyfriend. He disappears into one of the other rooms. The house is quite small and sombre.

  Erbil and Janis end up in what appears to be a workroom, just across the corridor from Janis’s bedroom, where boxes of photographs are spread over the floors, some half open. Janis apologizes for the mess in the house; she has just moved in. Amy is paying for this new house.

  They leaf through the boxes, looking at photographs of Amy, Janis, Mitch and Alex, as well as other members of the family, while Amy’s cats crawl over Janis and the photographs. Janis is looking after them for her daughter as Amy is incapable of looking after them herself, she explains.

  Erbil spends quite a long time with Janis in this room, looking at the photos, listening to her as she reminisces about Amy in a tender and loving manner, usual for a mother discussing her daughter.

  He stays until he realizes that Janis is tired out, but he is concerned that she hasn’t eaten and is hungry. It seems odd to him that there are two men in the house, capable of cooking or fetching something to eat, yet they seem to him to be waiting for Janis to cook something for them, so Erbil suggests getting them a takeaway from the local Bangladeshi restaurant. Erbil’s gesture is such a relief to Janis and the two men are happy, discussing menus. The food smells great, but although he is hungry, Erbil decides to leave the three of them to enjoy the meal alone.

  Just before the party, Erbil makes his second visit to Janis’s home. He is bringing her to see Amy in hospital before he takes her to the party at Les Ambassadeurs that evening. I have decided that Amy should know about her father’s surprise birthday party, even if she can’t attend. It is important, I feel, and Erbil is going to go with Janis to tell Amy that she is invited. He arrives to pick Janis up in a chauffeur-driven Jaguar, and finds her standing on the porch of her small house, a dress hanging from the door knob.

  Janis has deliberated over what to wear to the party. She wants to look as good as Jane, who will also be present. The green dress she has chosen shows off her ankles and is very sexy, she confides to me. I have already told her that she should come to my hotel, where she can have her hair and make-up done in my suite.

  After my first discussion with Janis, I initially believed that she had rethought her attitude towards Amy. After stating that there was nothing she could do about her daughter’s problems, she called me to say that our conversation (which had covered everything from how Janis felt about herself and her relationship with her boyfriend to how she felt towards her daughter’s problems) had been one of the best days in her life for a while and that it had ‘been a wake-up call’, which I took to mean about Amy.

  I quickly realized, however, that what Janis meant was that it was a wake-up call about her own life and relationships. Before the party, Janis tells me that she is almost 90 percent sure that she will dump the boyfriend, who has hurt her feelings by refusing to sleep over at her house. On the other hand, she says, even though she is going to end the relationship, it would be great to be able to go to the party with him when she is looking so beautiful. Janis goes back and forth weighing up whether she should bring him or not. I finally tell her that it doesn’t matter to me – that she just needs to decide what is best for her. When Erbil arrives to pick Janis up, the boyfriend is nowhere to be seen. Janis tells me later that they have split up.

  On the hour-long drive to the hospital Janis talks to Erbil, pointing out various landmarks and places of interest, much as Mitch did when he took us around the East End and to Richmond. Erbil gets the strong feeling that Janis doesn’t know what to expect from Amy when she sees her. She looks nervous and talks constantly about Amy. When approaching the hospital, Janis appears even more tense. When they arrive at the hospital, the chauffeur and Erbil both help Janis out of the car and Erbil walks slowly with her to the main entrance. It’s not a big hospital by any means. With Erbil at her side, Janis walks towards reception, where she announces, ‘We are here to see Amy Winehouse. I am her mother.’

  Suddenly everyone becomes attentive and the people near the reception desk are all ears. They are quickly directed to the lift to take them to Amy’s room, much to Erbil’s surprise, as no one has asked for any proof of ID from either of them and Janis isn’t a regular visitor to the hospital. Mitch told us that he left instructions that nobody should be permitted to go up to see Amy without him being alerted. Maybe the word ‘mother’ has magical powers!

  Upstairs, they are directed towards the nurses’ station, which is situated near the lift. There Janis is greeted by a few people, who obviously know who she is. They are Amy’s security guards and one of them, Beatrice, tells Janis that Amy has been sleeping for a long time.

  ‘Now that you are here you can wake her up,’ she says to Janis. ‘Only you can wake her … We can’t do that, but you can.’ She points to Amy’s room, which is down the hallway. Then they disappear, leaving Janis and Erbil alone in the hallway.

  Janis is obviously anxious and as they approach the door to Amy’s room it seems to slam shut. Janis is holding onto Erbil’s arm as they approach and he says reassuringly to her: ‘Go ahead. Open the door and go in. … Wake her up.’

  Janis opens the door a little but then stops, hesitating before asking him if he is coming in with her. Erbil tries to reassure this woman, this mother who seems frightened to enter her own daughter’s room: ‘Go in. I’ll stay outside. Don’t worry. That’s the right thing to do. She has to wake up first … Let her take her time and wake her up slowly. Just sit there until she wakes up.’ Janis looks at him unsure.

  Erbil waits outside, feeling quite alone, but aware that Janis is probably feeling much more lonely behind the door. About 10 minutes pass before Janis opens the door to report to Erbil that she is OK and tell him that Amy is waking up. Erbil tells her to take it easy and let Amy wake up slowly. He tells her to close the door, which Janis does.

  As he stands there, in the hallway, something odd happens. A couple with a little kid suddenly appear in the hallway, obviously walking towards Amy’s room. Amy’s guards are nowhere to be seen and Erbil is quite perplexed by these people, probably fans, who seem to think it’s OK to knock on Amy’s door. Before he can intervene, an unsuspecting Janis opens the door to be confronted by these strangers. She immediately calls Amy over to come and say ‘Hi’, much to Erbil’s surprise. Seconds later, Amy, who looks like someone who has just woken from a deep sleep, and is dressed in short shorts and a T-shirt, appears from the darkness. Erbil thinks if he were in Amy’s position he would probably behave badly; she’s woken up to find not only Janis there but other strange people as well, including Erbil. But Amy smiles as she speaks to these loud-mouthed people who she doesn’t know from Adam.

  This is the first time that Erbil has met Amy in person and she is the consummate professional, very down-to-earth and very respectful of these people. When they leave, Erbil stays where he is and the door closes again. Minutes later, Amy appears again, this time dressed i
n a red jacket, clutching a couple of cigarettes. She walks past him to the end of the hallway where she disappears. Through the half-open door, Erbil can see Janis, sitting in the room; she looks worried. She tells Erbil that Amy hasn’t said anything to her and obviously doesn’t want to spend time with her as she has walked out of the room, leaving her mother behind.

  Erbil says, ‘She’s the patient … And she’s not going anywhere. Just getting … some air. Don’t worry! She will be back soon. Just sit down and relax. You are her mother. You are here to invite her to the event. Show her the dress you plan to wear and ask her opinion.… See if she wants to join us. And then we’ll go. In the meantime, just be patient. Let her be herself. She has just woken up from a long, deep sleep.’

  Janis calms down and Erbil now has the time to take in the room. It is depressing, like most hospital rooms, and is small. Although it is obviously a private room, it hasn’t got any windows. It is like a box and Erbil wonders how long Amy will agree to stay there.

  Now Amy has left her room, Beatrice reappears, obviously pleased that her dirty work of waking up Amy has been done by someone else. Erbil is puzzled, however, as Beatrice brings in about half a dozen medium-sized shopping bags, containing food and bottles of drink, which she places next to the bathroom door. Amy doesn’t eat that much, so who is all this for? And what else do the bags contain?

  Amy doesn’t seem to be that protected if anyone, family or strangers, can arrive unannounced and get into her room. Janis wasn’t expected and Erbil could be anyone – a drug dealer even – as far as anyone knows. Amy is meant to be under surveillance 24–7 from what we all understand.