George Knows

by Mindy Mymudes

  Yeah.

  He does. His house. Where has he been? I sniff loudly. He smelltastes of garbage. He smelltastes of woods, and of fish and ponds. The taste of the scent spreads over the roof of my mouth. Roque didn’t tell me he was going on a field trip. I cry at his snub. “Arooo!”

  “What’s the matter with George? His howling is driving me nuts.”

  I feel Karly’s glare on my back as I give a hard stare to Roquefort. I’ve known Roque for years and he should have taken me with him.

  “Stop it, George! He’s not doing anything to you.” Auntie Heather always takes Roque’s side.

  Roque scrambles from the floor to a chair, to the table, and up to my auntie’s shoulder. He settles in and chatters at me. I am not very good at speaking raccoon, but he tells me that he managed to soak something with pointy ears, a long tail, and sharp teeth. Sounds like him, but it’s not, more like me. He soaked a dog? No? Whatever. While he’s telling me the story he gestures with his little hands and laughs. I raise my brows and remind myself never to get on Roque’s bad side.

  “He thinks Roquefort got to do something he didn’t get to. Now, George, you know that you were out in the woods today with Karly. You found the bones, after all.” Auntie Heather looks out the window into the darkness. “Why don’t I load your bike into the van and take you both home? You can plan how you’re going to research who the bones belonged to. Maybe you’ll be successful on the Internet.”

  Oh no, I hate it when Karly does computer stuff. She can’t pet me if she’s patting keys. Though there is a nice bed next to the desk. I like sleeping. I need a nap.

  “That’s a good idea. Any idea where to start? Sometimes key words are harder to figure out than the answer.”

  “Unsolved murders a hundred years ago since they feel about that old. Maybe that’s too broad. You know, maybe you should see Mrs. Juniper at the library. Oak Prairie wasn’t heavily populated back then. She might have some clues for you, like who lived on the property. I suppose I should’ve called the police. I’ll call tomorrow. They’ll need to talk to you, and your mom expects you home soon. It won’t matter if the bones sit another day—they aren’t in a rush, are they? Maybe the police will have some information on an old case. Stranger things have happened. Well, for now, go get the herbs for your mom and I’ll take you two home before she worries. You have a lot you can do tomorrow. Oh, and George, if you go to the park, please show Karly the jewelweed.”

  I give them both a look and bay. My tail wags in a smiley face. That beats chilling next to the desk while Karly plays the keyboard. At least it doesn’t sound as bad as when she plays on the piano.

  Karly clips her leash to me and we head out to the garage. When she opens the car door, I jump into the front and take shotgun. Auntie Heather gets my Girlpup’s bike and loads it into the back hatch. Karly tries to shoo me to the back. I sit and give her a predator’s stare. She glares at me. I drool. She grabs my collar and tries to pull me over the seat back. How rude and unfair! I brace my front paws on the headrest and won’t budge. Hah, I am too big for her to lift. She slams the passenger door and crawls into the back seat. I look over my shoulder and grin at her.

  Chapter Four

  We’re in my den’s kitchen. It’s bright and my favorite room. I smell eggs and bacon, and I drool and moan. There’s only one thing that’s wrong with this scene.

  “Mooooom! Not fair, I want to go too,” The Creep whines like a spoiled pug. He looks a little like one with his face all squished up like that. Karly called him Creep because he took a long time to walk. I call him that because he pulled my tail when he was just a little Boypup, and I try to stay far away from him. He still takes my food and hides it so he can ‘train me to use my nose’.

  As if I need such a thing.

  I have mad nose skills that are far beyond his feeble attempts to trick me. With luck Mom will say no to his tagging along. My life is perfect except for The Creep.

  “Karly, is there any reason he can’t? It’s rather exciting, you finding those bones like that.”

  I bark in my finest song-voice, reminding her it was my mighty nose that discovered the treasure. My Girlpup can’t find her clothes in the morning. “Yes, George, I see you.”

  I wag my tail. My part in this should be rewarded. “Boof.”

  “Heather noticed you’re gaining a bit of pudge around the middle. Sorry big guy, it’s time to back off on the treats. Long dogs with short legs don’t need to be fat—it’s bad for your back. We don’t want you hurt, do we?”

  Hurt? I’ll show her hurt. I roll over on the bright yellow tile, submitting to the dark-haired Packmom who controls my supper dish. I try to make my tummy rumble. It produces a small gurgle. I think no one hears it except me. Stupid stomach, it doesn’t get the game. She bends over and pats my beautiful white belly, but that doesn’t fill it. I flop back over when Mom straightens up.

  Karly isn’t happy. Her eyes are slits as she looks at our common pest. “Mom, it’s going to be hard enough to talk to the police. Joey will talk their ears off.” Her arms are crossed over her chest, her chin up. Be strong Girlpup, we don’t need The Creep with us.

  Mom puts an arm around her Boypup. “Joey, do you promise to not bother your sister? You can’t interfere with the police investigation, or I’ll have to get you. Do you understand?”

  Joey nods. “I’ll be good, promise Mom.” I know he lies. Peeps are quite good at that. I walk to him and drool on his shoe. It strings down and hits his foot. For some reason he grimaces and gets paper towels and wipes his shoe. I should lift my leg on him, but I know better. It means the crate if I am that naughty. I have better things to do. I will ignore him. I stick my nose in the air and turn away from him.

  “Fine, he can come. He better stay away from me though.” Karly gives in.

  I don’t need mind reading skills to hear the threat behind the words. What is ‘or else’?

  * * * *

  “Arooo!” I bay in my magnificent full voice. There’s a Peep with a shiny badge here in Auntie Heather’s living room. They usually live in cars that try to bay as beautifully as me—silly Peeps—there is nothing with a voice as beautiful as mine. I smell sweet gun oil, bitter powder, and sharp metal. There is a gun on his belt. I love the scent of guns. They kill rabbits for me. Are there rabbits?

  No.

  This is the house. There aren’t rabbits in the house. My forehead wrinkles as I sigh.

  “Shut up, George, if I have to be good, so do you,” Joey says. He is a snot. I woofle at him and scare him off. He walks away.

  I am a good boy and don’t jump on the Badge Dude. I want to. The Badge Dude is sitting on my big brown bed they call a couch next to Auntie Heather.

  I paw him. I don’t mind sharing, but he’s taking all my space. He doesn’t shift over even a little. Karly is sitting on a low table. Joey is in the kitchen getting treats. He won’t let me in the kitchen with him.

  I grumble under my lips.

  “So your niece, let’s see, Karly is it?” The Badge Dude looks at my Girlpup. She nods. That means she agrees. I understand Peep language better than Peeps understand dog. The Badge Dude continued, “So Karly found this pile of human bones? Why didn’t you call earlier?”

  What? I found the bones! Why am I always forgotten?

  Peeps are slow.

  I woof to remind the Peeps I am here. Although, thinking about it, I do learn a lot listening and watching them.

  “George dug them up. I didn’t think they were human, figured they were animals’. This morning Aunt Heather thought it was better if we called and made sure. We didn’t want to bother you if they were just deer bones.” Karly sort of stuttered through her words.

  Auntie Heather rescues Karly from repeating that she was sure they were animal bones. “May I get you something? I have coffee, water, or pop. I just finished making Snickerdoodles. They’re still warm.” She uses the cajoling voice. It’s same one that she uses when she wants me to do something I
don’t want to do.

  Hey.

  Did she share any with me?

  No.

  I walk over to her and put a paw on her knee. I can smell the mug of hot cocoa Karly carries to a light-colored chair—along with Snickerdoodles.

  No Snickerdoodles for the loyal dog.

  My Girlpup ignores me. I sit on her foot. Feed me, and your foot will be released. I will her to drop the cookie with my eyes. She resists my awesome power. Rats. It’s the bond between familiar and witch—we can’t influence each other.

  “I’m glad you called us, though we prefer that you call immediately if you find something like this. Although, finding bones isn’t normal, is it?” The Badge Dude smiles at Karly. Sure, when I show my teeth and grin, everyone runs away. That’s doggy discrimination. Any smart dog knows the difference between a snarl and smile. Few humans seem to. The Badge Dude turns his head, sneezes, and pulls air through his nose.

  Humph.

  Stupid way to smelltaste.

  “Well, if you find more bones, make sure you call right away? Can you take us out there now? We’re fortunate that it didn’t rain last night, the forecast called for heavy thunderstorms.”

  I cast a look at The Badge Dude. He’s like a big, stupid, black Labrador. Even Labs use their noses. If he’d used his nose he would have smelled that the sweetwatermelonscentcool of rain was missing in last night’s air. I shake out my ears.

  Peeps.

  They have noses, yet they do not smell. They have skin, yet they do not feel. I think Roque told me that. Maybe his nose is stuffy. Maybe he has allergies. He sneezes again and looks for something. Auntie Heather hands him a nummy tissue box. The Badge Dude takes one, honks into it, and holds it. I cruise over and nudge his hand. This is tasty stuff. Auntie Heather offers a wastepaper basket and he tosses it in. Rats.

  Well, even if he can’t smell, the bones are old! Not like they’ll find anything useful. I didn’t, and I have superior senses. “Arooo!” I inform them. I can take you. Don’t expect much from Karly. Maybe she’ll get lucky and step on a rabbit hole. I love bunnies!

  “I think George can help you. Karly, when you, Joey, and George are out there, can you look for jewelweed? I really need it for my salve.”

  The Creep runs into the living room like a frightened mouse. I want to pounce on him. I am too dignified for such things and hold back.

  “Joey, no running in the house,” Aunt Heather scolds. I woof at him to make sure he understands.

  I hear the rub of pant legs as The Badge Dude moves to the window that shows the garden. “George is a beautiful basset hound. I had one as a kid, Stanley. Stubborn, but smart.” The Badge Dude’s voice is deep. Not bad, he would bay well—maybe, just maybe, I could teach him.

  He walks to where I am sprawled next the couch, watching with my head still on Karly’s foot. The Badge Dude bends and pats the top of my head. I hate pats on the head. My brow wrinkles and I press my head into his hand. Massage, it’s what us dogs like. He wouldn’t like me to pat his head. It causes headaches and it’s not like I can ask for the stuff the Peeps use to cure theirs.

  At least until Karly lets me in.

  He rumples my ears. Not bad. His basset should have trained him better. Maybe he forgot.

  “Can you get him to take us to where you found the bones?” Like he has to ask? “I remember that Stanley wasn’t the best at focusing and I don’t know if that’s a typical thing for bassets.” What is wrong with this dude? I shake him off.

  “Grawf.” I get up and pull Karly’s leash off the door. When I drop it at the Badge Dudes feet, he picks it up and smiles.

  “Well, that’s telling me off.” The Badge Dude massages my ears. My tail sways back and forth with appreciation. My body melts into his hand. “All right, let’s meet in the parking lot.” The Peep gets up and leaves.

  “Let’s take the car, I don’t want to keep him waiting,” Auntie Heather says. I approve with a wide grin. If Karly drags me I won’t smelltaste as well as I will need to. My throat hurts and my nose can’t taste scent for a while. Coughing doesn’t improve my abilities as a tracker. Karly hooks the leash to me so she won’t get lost. I lead her to the garage and she opens the door for me. This is proof she can learn from me. I pull her to the car. Hurryhurryhurry, I bark. They will get there before us! Joey opens the front passenger door and slides in. No way! Mine! I jump on his lap, my claws digging into his bare legs.

  “Karly, your dog is scratching me! Make him stop. Phew, what are you feeding him? He smells!”

  “Get out of his seat, then. He likes to look through the front window. Besides, it keeps him from getting sick and barfing.”

  Hey, Girlpup, I haven’t been car sick in a couple of years. The Creep slides out from under me. Karly did good, she can be smart about reading Peeps.

  Auntie Heather is behind us, locking up. It’s an acknowledgement that she doesn’t need to protect her things while I am around. She is a smart witch and I stop barking.

  It has absolutely nothing to do with Karly telling me to shut up.

  The car’s tires always smell burned. When I went under a car to chase a mouse as a pup, the Peeps made me take a bath to get rid of the greasy black gunk. I don’t like baths, so I avoid going under cars. I like going for rides with my head out the windows. My ears gather the tastesmell from the wind and I can feel the pressure of the weather on my nose.

  It’s wonderful.

  “Aroo.” My Peeps look at me. I turn my head. Let’s go already!

  * * * *

  It takes forever to get to the park. I can’t sleep because The Creep keeps touching Karly. Why does he get to come? He’s a big pain in my rump. The car ride is horrible. I fart over the seat back, and then look at The Creep like he did it. At least the windows are open and I can hang my head out and enjoy the wealth of smelltastes. Auntie Heather is a patient Peep, or she’s good at ignoring us. I bet she’s ignoring us.

  “What do the police think we’ll find? I told them we found everything out there.” Karly grumps out. “Adults don’t listen to kids.”

  “I’m listening. I’m also thinking. This is just so fascinating. Witches usually heal people, not find out what killed them. I hope we can figure this out. Joey, in the five minutes it’s taken to get to the park from your house, you’ve poked your sister forty-three times. That is quite enough.” Auntie Heather is cheerful no matter what the Pups are doing. I am hoping she’s cheerful because she’s planning on taking Joey home.

  “Do you think maybe I’ll find some bones? Huh? I want to find some bones!” Joey’s voice is high and goes right through my eardrums. “Arrrrrrooooooooooo.” Aunt Heather better do something with him or I won’t be able to hunt because I’ll have a headache.

  “Joey, indoor voice please. If anyone is going to find bones, it’s the one with the nose,” Auntie Heather tells The Creep. “Your job is to watch and learn from the police. Perhaps we can compare the differences between what you see on TV and real life. You will not interrupt their work, unless you want to go home. Got it?”

  Joey scowls at her and nods his head. He runs his fingers over his lips and tosses the “key”.

  At Karly.

  Right.

  That will make things better.

  If I could just bite him. Just a nip…

  Auntie Heather rolls her eyes and pulls into the parking lot. We pull in behind a light blue and white police car with squiggles painted in navy on the side.

  Before he even opens the door, Joey asks non-stop questions. “How come the lights are flashing? Where is the yellow tape? How come there’s only one car?” He doesn’t even take a breath until Auntie Heather interrupts.

  Blue and yellow are good colors. They smellfeel tingly like the wind in my ears. They aren’t loud like the colors that shout at Peeps. It’s not fun to look through my Girlpup’s eyes.

  “Karly, I’m going to let you and George out. I’ll be back after I drop Joey off at your house.” Joey howls. I bark with
glee, but my auntie pins me with her Alpha stare. I stop and hang my head so my ears cover my eyes. I don’t want her to know I am happy about Joey. She taps my nose. As if I can hide anything from her.

  The door locks unlatch and I hear seat belts snap open. I jump out and shake out my coat and aiming drool at The Creep. Oops. Some hits the police car. I take a huge breath. I don’t smell The Bad Thing. Aunt Heather mouths she’ll be right back, and drives away.

  Good.

  No more Joey.

  Now, where’s the Badge Dude?

  I sniff the air, turning my head to look up at Karly with soft brown eyes. Heh, I take off before she can put her leash on and weigh me down. I bark and head to the woods. Karly grumbles the same words at me that she used for Joey in the car.

  Chapter Five

  The Girlpup still hasn’t learned how important time is. She finally figures out I am not waiting and follows me. I can smell the Badge Dude is already at the bone place. Well, and I see the ground is more stompled in their direction. Karly keeps calling my name. No time to waste, if they think there are more bones then I will find them. I smell rabbit. I shake my head, no time for rabbit now. I drop my head low to the ground, my ears fall forward and my lovely neck wrinkles roll down to form a scent-scoop. Maybe they are right and there are more bones here. Maybe they’re good-tasting bones and not Peep bones.

  I inhale. There is something gassulfurdrysnakecatstinknotright in the air. Did I smell this before? I sniff more deeply.

  The scent is gone.

  Hehhehhehhehh. I pant and circle around the spot.

  Nothing.

  Where is it? What the heck is it?

  “Arrooo,” I bay in frustration. Did the Wrong-thing take my bones?

  Not like I was taking her anywhere.

  Karly calls me. Her heavy feet crunch and crush the plants, the smelltaste of bitter things fills my nose. Good, she’s following; I don’t need to worry she’s lost my stealthy path. Maybe she can finally read a trail. More likely she’s lucky. I shake out my ears to get rid of the earlier scents as I come closer to the Badge Dude. The strange gassulfurdrysnakecatstink scent is here. It’s so thick I can’t understand why I missed it yesterday. It isn’t anything I’ve smelltasted before. If I smelltasted it yesterday I wouldn’t have grabbed the bones. I want to cover my nose. Instead, I gather more of the scent in my folds and savor it, chewing it over like a beef bone.