George Knows

by Mindy Mymudes

  And some doughnuts.

  Sniff. Sniff.

  Yup, I smell doughnuts.

  “Oh, there you are. I thought I saw you before. Are either of you hungry?” Auntie Heather’s busybody friend charges toward us with plates of wonderful-smelling food. I look at her with big hopeful eyes. She can’t resist and hands me a half of doughnut. Who am I to argue? I snarf it.

  “Belinda. How lovely that you made it. The turnout is fantastic, it’s a good thing you brought the food. Oh, and please don’t feed George anything, he’s on a diet.” Auntie Heather sounds fake-happy. I think she’s more upset about my snack than she lets on.

  Or maybe it’s all the food.

  Though why a Peep wouldn’t want a spread like this at a demonstration is beyond me. I am thirsty. There is a big jug thing dripping something. I lick the thing that sticks out.

  “George.” Karly makes a disgusted noise. I pant in her general direction. “Just a second.” She gets me a plastic bowl of water. It tastes like bad chemicals, but I drink it and shake the rest off my face. My tags come free of the pouch they are kept in and jingle. It drowns out the babble of Peeps talking for no reason. Blah blah blah.

  Waste of air space if you ask me.

  “We have the signs all ready for everyone.” Auntie Heather’s busybody friend holds up a board on a stick as she reads it. “The Park Is For All The People, Not Just The Ones That Can Afford It.”

  I don’t get it. The land isn’t anyone’s, we live on it until we’re gone and our puppies take over. Are the big machines going to take the land away? I look for trucks that can take away the earth. My ears almost stand on end when I see that there are some driving in. They are going to take the land away. They can’t do that. This is everyone’s land!

  “Grrr. Aroo!” We can’t let them steal the earth. I pull Karly to the line of big trucks.

  A huge Peep is standing next to a big black car. He is shouting through a big, empty ice cream cone tilted on its side.

  “This area is posted with no trespassing signs. Please leave the area or we’ll have to contact the police and have you chaperoned out of this portion of the park. Ladies, we don’t own the entire park. Go use the part preserved for recreation.” He doesn’t sound happy we’re here. But if Auntie Heather, Karly, and I don’t find The Bad Hodag he will really be unhappy.

  Another Peep holds up a sign and shouts, “I don’t see any no-trespassing signs. Why don’t you go back from where you came from and find a different site to build on? This has been ours for generations. You have no right to it,” she says.

  The air smelltastes bitter with fearangerhormones and a touch of peanut butter sandwich.

  Ah.

  There’s a bit of dropped sandwich near my paws.

  I scarf it down.

  “According to the deed, we have every right to this parcel of land. It was never part of the park. Randolph Singer only allowed it to be used since he couldn’t farm it. Too many rocks and hills. By developing this parcel, we will bring money into the community and offer much needed housing to this beautiful town. So, please clear the area so we can do our jobs.”

  The Guypeep puts down the cone and steps to a large machine. Its wheels are wrapped with metal in the shape of an upside down caterpillar biting its butt. A large square box is on the front. He turns it on and it burps out black smoke. I blow out through my nose. No way do I want to breathe that stuff in. The Guypeep puts the box down to the ground and it sounds like the Earthmom is screaming as it scrapes dirt and grass away from her skin. “Arooooooo!” I bay in sympathy.

  This is wrong.

  My friends run to the front of the machine, I lead Karly to the front. The Guypeep just slows down.

  “People, I know you are all peaceful, concerned citizens, but everything here is legal. You have to leave.” The Guypeep shouts over the noisy machine. He pulls a phone out from a pocket and swipes his finger over it. I admit fingers would be nice to have. “Yes Ma’am. Yes. Please do.” He swipes the phone again and turns to us. “The police are coming. If you don’t want to spend time downtown, I suggest you find your way back to the public park.”

  More Peeps shout over each other. It sounds like a thunderstorm, rain hitting the roof and thunder crashing. It makes no sense to me. My ears lift a little when I hear a car. It’s long, I can tell by the thumps the front and back wheels make as they go over a road bump. It finally drives up and pulls next to the Guypeep. A door swings with a metal swish and a Ladypeep gets out. She smelltastes of gasoline, fake flowers, and coffee, and something else. Cat? It’s a cat. Catcatcat I howl. I am sure I can see cat hair float around her.

  I want that cat.

  They eat my birds.

  They hiss.

  They have sneaky claws and paws.

  They don’t like me.

  And I don’t like them.

  I slip my head out of the collar and amble over to the Catpeep. She doesn’t have legs. This is weird—I need to investigate. The cat might be under what she is wearing.

  Padding quietly, I come from behind her and slip under what she’s wearing. It’s dark and smells like soap, sweat, and Ladypeep.

  Not cat.

  Ah-choo!

  “Eeek! What the…!” She lifts her clothes and kicks me away from her. It isn’t a hard kick, but still. Why would she do that? I smell cat and only want to see it.

  Really.

  I wouldn’t chase it. Where is it? Peeps don’t wear cats as a rule. Maybe her cat sits on her lap.

  I run back to Karly. She looks down at me, laughs, and covers her mouth with a hand before she slides the collar back over my head. Everyone around us is laughing. What did the Catpeep do? I look at where she is standing, but I don’t see anything worth a laugh. I make a crease in my forehead as my eyebrows draw together. I’ve seen it in my water dish, and it’s very attractive. Peeps laugh at the strangest things. Maybe the cat escaped when I wasn’t looking.

  The Catpeep’s face is growing dark and I seefeel heat surround her. Is she angry at her cat? She starts to sneeze and reaches into her car. She has a wad of tissues and sneezes into them.

  “It’s illegal to have a dog without a leash, even in the park. When the police come I will make certain you are fined for such blatant disregard of the rules.” The Catpeep sneezes some more.

  Karly nudges Auntie Heather. “She’s allergic to dogs, isn’t she? George why did you slip the leash? Now we’re in big trouble. Even if it was funny.” Karly laughs some more—high-pitched giggles. Auntie Heather puts a hand over her mouth. She can’t hide she’s laughing too. I don’t understand Peeps sometimes.

  The Catpeep walks to the Guypeep. “What have you been doing? Why aren’t these people gone? The rest of your crew is going to be here in a few minutes and they won’t be able to do anything with them in the way.”

  Auntie Heather speaks up, “That’s the point, isn’t it? This land was never supposed to be sold, it was granted to us before the town was incorporated. Robert Singer only had custody of it because the deed was in his wife’s name. When Rob passed on, we understood the land would be added to the park. None of us understand how your company gained access to it. Until we do, we aren’t going to let you destroy a single tree here. This is a sacred place, needed by all, not just by those that will buy a condo from you.”

  The Peeps around us clap loudly. I’d clap too, but it’s beneath me.

  I “aroo” instead. Even though I am not exactly sure what Auntie Heather said, it sounds good. Her friends think so, they’re still clapping and talking over the Catpeep whose pet ran away. I hear the baying of Badge Dude’s car and smelltaste fearsweatanger from the crowd. They look at one another, but no one leaves. The Catpeep and the Guypeep cross their arms over their chests and make hard eyes at us. They aren’t very happy. Well, we aren’t either. I growl under my breath. They want to own the Earth and that’s wrong.

  They didn’t even pee-mail anyone about it. Not even the Bad Hodag. Hodag! The fur o
n the back of my neck sticks up. I growl again. It isn’t safe, even for the Catpeep and the Guypeep.

  Karly snaps her leash, pulling my neck back. “Stop growling, you’ve gotten us into enough trouble.”

  I look at her and send pictures of the Hodag through our mental link. The door is locked tight. She doesn’t want to know what I am thinking. I whimper and paw Auntie Heather. She looks between my Girlpup and me and sighs.

  “Karly, you need to pay attention to George. He’s growling because of the Hodag. He’s concerned about everyone here. We don’t know that the creature is sleeping by day and it could be dangerous. Let’s get this resolved and get the stuff back at the Hodag’s hoard.”

  The car drives to the front of the crowd and stops next to the Catpeep’s car. The Badge Dude gets out.

  I inhale.

  It smelltastes like the same one that came to Auntie Heather’s house that one time. Auntie Heather blows out a breath. Why did she hold her breath? She isn’t under water and the smell is about the same as before. Silly Auntie Heather. I snort. She turns her head and stares me down. I look at my paws.

  The door to the car slams shut and I hear jingling, smelltaste gunleathercottonsweat, and smellfeel heat on my whiskers. I lift my head. The Badge Dude is talking to the Catpeep. I can’t hear anything and pull on Karly’s leash to get closer.

  She stands still.

  I pull again.

  Karly is a rock I can’t roll.

  I tilt my head back. She glares at me. Maybe he’ll come here and massage my ears.

  Woot!

  He is coming over. The Badge Dude smiles at us. I smile back and swing my tail in a circle. Hellohellohello friend! I sit and offer my paw and cock my head. I am a very good boy.

  Yup.

  Pet me.

  Feed me.

  My tail is spinning, letting them know I need their attention.

  “How did George end up off-leash and under Ms. Lanta’s skirt?” The Badge Dude asks through a smile. He crouches and scratches behind my ears. He remembers not to pat.

  Good Badge Dude.

  I praise him with a lick.

  My Girlpup answers while tugging on her leash. “He thought he saw something and pulled out of his collar. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. I don’t think.” She gives me the stink eye. “Will it?”

  I fart.

  Loudly.

  A wonderful, long trumpet call.

  “George, are you trying to get us into more trouble?” Karly yells the first part, and then looks over at the Badge Dude and tones it down a notch.

  Good.

  I duck my head under Badge Dude’s hand for more scritches. A little farther over there, please.

  Sigh.

  He’s very good at this.

  He speaks in a low tone. I don’t think he wants to be overheard. Secrets? Cool! What’s the secret? I listen.

  “I just found out you’re in charge of this fiasco. Can you please ask your friends to go somewhere else? I don’t want to have to do the paperwork it would take to bring all of you in. And don’t let George escape again—I won’t have any choice but to fine you or take him to the animal shelter.”

  “We aren’t doing anything wrong, just a peaceful demonstration—”

  The Guypeep interrupts Auntie Heather. “On private property. Ms. Lanta is richer than pudding, but not nearly as sweet. Go over to the park, call the papers, do whatever you want. Just leave this area. Please?”

  Auntie Heather looks around at all her friends and frowns. “I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises.” She brightens and turns her attention to the Badge Dude “Did you find out anything about the bones?”

  “The case is as cold as the bones were. We probably won’t discover anything about them. Since they were sent in for carbon dating, there isn’t going to be anything in our files. Maybe they were from an old pioneer burial. It’s not a police matter, whatever they discover now. Unfortunately, your trespassing is.”

  Auntie Heather looks at all the Peeps surrounding us. They are looking back, waiting for something from her. “May I borrow your megaphone? I don’t think I can speak over all these people.”

  The Badge Dude hands her a cone-shaped thing that smelltastes like plasticbatterychemicalswires. Auntie Heather flips a switch and clears her throat. There is a terrible shriek. “Aroooo!” I howl in pain. What is that thing doing to her voice?

  The Badge Dude takes the thing from her and adjusts something. He hands it back to her. He’s smiling. His heart is beating fast and his breath is faster too.

  This is interesting.

  Auntie Heather holds up the thing and speaks into it. “I’m sorry everyone, we need to move our demonstration to the park proper. There are other ways we can handle this, and believe me,” she turns so she faces the Catpeep without a cat, “we will do everything in our power to make sure this land remains available for the use of everyone.”

  The crowd cheers. Picnic baskets are packed, chairs folded, and garbage picked up. They leave, with nothing to show there were a lot of Peeps here. I hear them in the woods, going to the main part of the park. I tug on Karly’s leash, rolling my eyes to white, they are going where the Hodag is. It’s dangerous for them. Itisisis!

  I must go and protect them. Stupid Peeps! It smells so bad, why can’t they smell the badness?

  Peeps moan and blahblahblah fills the air. That answers why they don’t notice the woods are quiet—they can’t hear over their own blahblahblah. I don’t even know what they’re saying. I ignore them and drag my Girlpup to the edge of the woods. She isn’t even arguing.

  “Auntie Heather,” she says softly. Auntie Heather is talking to The Guypeep and the Badge Dude and Karly isn’t supposed to interrupt. Our Auntie doesn’t answer. “Auntie Heather?” she says louder.

  Auntie Heather turns and puts a finger over her lips.

  Uh oh.

  Karly is in trouble now. She pulls me back to our Auntie.

  Auntie Heather looks down at us and sighs. “Excuse me for a moment.” She glares at my Girlpup. Does Auntie Heather have a link to us or not? Right now I wouldn’t bet on it. “Karly, what is so important? I need to organize this group.” She gestures to the crowd. “I’ll be with you in a few minutes.”

  “Sorry. It’s just that George needs to go. Now!”

  I am one brilliant basset and quick to understand. I do my potty dance. Jiggle jiggle my rear, stomp stomp, shake my front, cross my legs, and paw at Karly’s pants.

  Auntie Heather slowly shakes her head and grins. I can tell she thinks I am funny. “Go ahead, then.” She returns her attention back to the Peeps after shooing us away.

  Chapter Twelve

  I yank Karly back to the woods, past the burned and scratched wood that the other Peeps ignore. They don’t look down. They don’t look up, either. No wonder their senses don’t work, they don’t exercise them. With their weak senses they need to work out, definite design flaw. We don’t have any problems so we share our great abilities. It’s a fair trade, since they make our food.

  My tummy alarm goes off. Karly hears it, even through her loud pants. Except for the muffled blahblahblahs of the Peeps in the parking lot, we make the only sounds in the woods.

  Or, Karly does.

  I am a silent hunter on soft paws. The quiet is a creepy feeling. My tummy alarm shuts off and the fur on my ruff rises.

  “That’s funny—once your stomach starts to rumble it doesn’t stop until you eat something.”

  I stop pulling to smellfeel, smelltaste, and smellhear, but not in that order. Karly bends down and strokes my hackles smooth.

  “What’s wrong? You’re scaring me a little.”

  I am a brave basset—I am designed that way—but I am worried for my Girlpup. My senses feel dead. There is nothing here.

  Nada.

  A big zero.

  Even my smelltaste is dull. No temperature. Not hot, not cold, not in between. So weird. Magic. Oh, great. The Bad Hodag has magic. Is i
t here? Now? I flare my nose and open my mouth. I try to cough out the cotton that covers everything. I didn’t like it as a puppy in the toys I killed—I don’t like it now.

  Auntie Heather is gone! Where is she? “Aroo!” Is she gone forever?

  Karly continues to pet me and threads from her mind reach mine. She picks up what I am feeling. Nothing but dry cotton in my mouth. I am thirsty. Not hungry. Oh no, I am dead. I know it.

  “Don’t be silly. Auntie Heather is coming and she’ll figure this out.” My Girlpup looks into the trees and down at the ground before looking around her. Good Girlpup! She is totally trainable. I am a teacher!

  Karly snorts.

  I snort back and paw her. What is she seeing? I crane around, but everything is foggy. The silver leashes are still clipped together.

  “Not a thing. The sun is out—there shouldn’t be fog. AUNTIE HEATHER!”

  Her shout hurts my ears. “Barkaroo!” I scold her. She yells again. I claw her leg—one good pain deserves another.

  “Stop it. How is Auntie Heather going to find us?”

  Actually, that’s a good question. Um. Yeah, and how come I can hear Karly when everything else is dead?

  “Karly? George? I can feel you’re out here. Can you hear me? Come on kids, let me know where you are,” Auntie Heather calls out to us. I can just about smelltaste where she is, although her voice is all around us. “Roque found me, but his nose isn’t as good as George’s and he’s having trouble finding you.”

  “Auntie Heather, we’re here!” Karly shouts. Her voice sounds like it’s coming from all directions, too.

  I smelltaste her. HerbplantcinnamonSnickerdoodle. She’s close. “Aroo!” I pull Karly to the sweet smelltaste. Theretherethere! I bounce in place as she comes through the fogcloud.

  “Oh thank goodness, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to find you. It appears our Hodag can cast camouflage spells. Who knew? This is going to complicate matters. I set a marking spell behind me. All my stuff is still in my bags, so we’ll go back, get those, set up a barrier spell, and go home. Before we come back here I want to find a counter spell for this.” Auntie Heather waves her hand around to include the fogcloud. “This is a dangerous trap if anyone comes out here. They’ll never get out. I’m not sure if we can find the edges to put up a barrier spell.”