by Pat Simmons
“I’ve been sitting here talking to your mom, but I’m about to head out to run errands.”
“Where?”
She frowned. Since when did she need to account for every minute of her day? “You don’t have to track my whereabouts.” She rolled her eyes.
That’s a Tolliver, his mother mouthed, I married one, then stood and walked out of the room.
“Maybe I want to take you to lunch at someplace near wherever you’re going.”
“We just ate a few hours ago, and you’re hungry already?” She laughed.
“Okay, maybe I just want to see you, hold your hand…”
“Holding hands, huh?” She smirked.
“Yes...we could pray, or just hold hands.”
This man wasn’t backing down. At the moment, Jet was craving some ‘me’ time. “Name a place, and I’ll meet you.”
“You’re not going to tell me where you’re going?”
“No, big brother, I’m not,” she said, annoyed and ready to end the call.
“One day, Jesetta, you will call me another term of endearment. Goodbye.” He disconnected.
“Oooh.” She squeezed her lips. Not only did he hang up on her, but he had the nerve to tell her what she was going to do, which only made her more determined not to do it.
She found his mother in the kitchen, watching the news. The reporter was giving updates on the shooter from yesterday. “Laura,” she interrupted, “thanks for the bed and breakfast. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” She gave her a hug, then went upstairs and grabbed her purse.
At least Rossi and his father had gone back to get her car. Otherwise, she would have been held hostage at his parents’ house. Once she was strapped in, she looked over her shoulder to see if Rossi had her under surveillance or something.
As she was about to drive eastbound on the highway to take her to the Metro East, she suddenly found herself going in the opposite direction. She was heading to St. Peter’s Cemetery. Laura’s longing for a daughter only ignited Jet’s longing for Diane. Soon, she turned into the grand entrance and followed the winding road.
She parked and strolled slowly to the headstone. Death seemed more real now as she read the inscription. Since her last visit, Jet accepted her practice of speaking to Diane was fruitless, but the place was comforting, surreal, and gave her solitude to think. “Sis, I don’t know if you can hear me, but Lord, I know You can hear and know my thoughts. Diane, I get now how you must have felt the day you died. I almost died yesterday. I was so scared, then something happened before my eyes. It was so real, yet unbelievable. If I weren’t there I wouldn’t believe the people trying to describe what they saw to the reporters. Jesus spared my life,” she choked out and patted her chest as tears formed. “I don’t know why—maybe for Dori’s sake, but I don’t know why.”
She smiled. “But the good news is I’m saved!” She did a happy dance in place. “If I would have died, I would have a promise in Christ—like you.”
Jet paused and stood at attention as she watched a funeral procession wind its way to the other side of the cemetery. God, now I know You can give them comfort.
Closing her eyes, she exhaled. Opening them, Jet began to release emotions from a secret place inside of her. “There is a new development: Rossi. Yes, your cousin-in-law told me he’s in love with me. Can you believe that?” She laughed, hardly believing it herself. “I thought two cousins would marry two sisters, Karyn and Nalani. I never imagined the sisters would be me and you. After years of accepting my place as a sister, how do I tear down this wall?”
When she first met Rossi, the attraction was instant, and it lingered off and on. Then she observed his dating choices and figured she wasn’t church material to compete.
“I wish I could hear your thoughts.” She paused and listened. “He’s handsome, kind, and he’s always been here for me, but—” she gnawed on her lips—“I guess I’m surprised that he’s attracted to me. How do I know he didn’t buy the ring for another woman, but he was so scared that he gave it to me?”
“Because I had your name inscribed inside.” The unmistakable voice made her jump.
Twirling around, Jet patted her chest. Not only did he know where she was, but he had overheard her thoughts. Planting a fist on her hip, she frowned at him. “Do you have a GPS on my car or something?”
For the first time since knowing him, Rossi didn’t have a comeback. Folding her arms, she lifted an eyebrow. “Well, do you?”
“My actions toward you are led by my heart. When you were evasive about where you were going, I took a guess.” He walked closer, invading her space.
Either out of defiance or fear of stepping on a soft spot in the ground, she didn’t move. Then Jet realized, she didn’t want to. She stared into his brown eyes and waited.
She relinquished her hands to him without resistance. “I believe that our hearts have been in sync for years, but neither of us knew it or was willing to admit it. I am—now. While you were away, my heart ached for you. “His voice became a whisper. “I want to say I’m a patient man and I can wait for you to come around—” he smirked until his dimples winked at her—“but considering I’m in love with a stubborn woman, I have no choice.”
He tugged on her hand and led her away from Diane’s headstone without letting her say goodbye. As if sensing her hesitation, he stopped. “You know she isn’t in the grave, right?”
“I do.” She bowed her head in embarrassment. He lifted her chin with his finger.
“It’s okay to visit her graveside as long as you know Diane won’t rise until Jesus comes back with a new body for her as described in 1 Thessalonians 4:14. That will be a great day for the dead and those living with the Holy Ghost.”
He glanced back at the grave as if giving Jet the go-ahead to do the same. She waved and turned around, her hand linked with his.
Chapter 16
Rossi had served God all his life. He had seen miracles and misery. He had been the constant in the midst of turmoil, but the thought of losing Jet put him in unchartered territory.
He was overpowering her, but it was as if he couldn’t help himself. On Saturday, he tagged along with her and his mother as they shopped for furniture for Jet’s home. He wasn’t even scared of her sharp tongue when she put him out of his own mother’s house Saturday night because she was tired and ready for bed. Sunday at church, he praised God the loudest after she gave her testimony to the congregation.
Now, it was a new week, and he accompanied Jet to the bank so she could get the cashier’s check to close on her house. She didn’t argue, but it wouldn’t matter if she had. Jet wasn’t going to win that round. Rossi returned to his office with the promise of helping her move in the next day. He had barely slid in behind his desk when Levi strolled in.
“So Jet is taken care of?”
Rossi nodded. “The Victorian house is a good investment, so even when she sells it in a short period of time, she should make a profit.”
“Oh, she’s not planning to stay there long?” Levi took a seat and crossed his ankle over his knee.
After the bank shooting, Levi spoke kind words about Jet and seemed to have removed the hostile barrier he’d erected. It took this scare for everyone to let go of misunderstandings. Having missed confiding in each other about matters of the heart, Rossi welcomed their closeness again. He grinned. “Well, I’m going to marry Jet and—”
“What?” Levi seemed to roar as he leaned forward. “You’re kidding me, right? I know you’ve always had a soft spot for her, as you do others, but to marry her?” Levi stood and began to pace the office. “Really think about this, cuz. Jet isn’t a good fit for you. Did you forget that you’re a minister and your choice for wife could go ballistic, snapping without warning? I could see it now, a sister in the church needs your counseling, and Jet thinks the woman is flirting. Cut your losses before they start. Walk away—no run—as far as you can.”
“Enough.” Rossi got to his feet. He balled his fi
sts, but kept them on his desk where they wouldn’t do any harm. “My love for Jesetta was led by the Spirit. She is perfect for me.”
“What about Nalani? She’s pretty and has a good head on her shoulders. She would complement you as a minister.”
“Nalani? Why bring her up? We were never meant to be.”
“And you and Jet are?” Levi threw his arms in the air.
Lord, help me not to do tit for tat, Rossi prayed and waited for spiritual guidance. He took a series of deep breaths while squinting at his cousin. Since repenting wasn’t something people—including him—performed with zeal, he guarded his words. “Not once did I tell you not to marry the woman you loved—either one of them. I supported you all the way. I strongly suggest you give me the same respect, Tolliver.”
“Jet is part of the family as a distant in-law. I think the hostage situation tugged at your common sense,” Levi shot back. “Plus, I don’t trust her around Karyn and my family. Karyn has repaid her debt to society.” He patted his chest.
Rossi grunted. “That’s too bad, cuz, because Christ paid Jesetta’s, yours, mine, and this world’s debt. You need to get over it. She will be my wife—” He looked up and Jet was standing in the doorway with a few of their staff peeping from behind her.
Judging from her pointed glare at his cousin, Jet had overheard their heated words and had some to deliver of her own. He groaned, then began to pray faster and harder. She had been progressing steadily in her faith, and he didn’t want this to be a setback. Lord, in the name of Jesus, we need you now!
“Levi Thomas Tolliver Senior,” she bit out.
Not good. Middle names were never meant to be used in a good way except on birth certificates. This wasn’t going to be pretty.
“You have a lot of nerve. Yes, I slapped Karyn before she was your wife when she confessed to killing her son, but I apologized because it was a knee-jerk—or hand-jerk—reaction. When I returned home, my mindset was to restore my relationship with God and build one with Karyn because of Dori. We’re not friends, but I do think we respect each other. You know what? You need more prayer than Rossi can give you.”
Her nostrils flared when she faced him. Not good. What did he do? “I guess I’ll never know if you were the man for me. One thing for sure is the Tollivers are not the family for me. Hmphed.” She twisted her lips. “I’ll get my things from your mother’s house.”
He could see the tears forming in her eyes, and his heart tore. He came from behind his desk to comfort her, but she stepped back. Now would be a good time to sock his cousin in the jaw. But there wouldn’t be enough repenting on his part to erase his actions from the mind of those that would witness him sin against God. “Jesetta, I love you. This is between you and me…”
She shook her head. “No. Levi’s right, I’m not a good fit to become a Tolliver. I’m not a jerk enough.” She spun around and stormed out of his office with his staff stepping aside for her departure.
“This isn’t over, Tolliver,” Rossi said and gritted his teeth. “I’ll contact our attorneys in the morning. It’s time we go our separate ways. Be prepared to buy out my shares in this company.”
He hurried after Jet, but not without hearing Levi counter, “We can sell it, because you’re no longer fit to co-own it.”
***
Jet refused to cry, so why were the tears blinding her? What possessed her to surprise Rossi at the office with lunch? Maybe it was Layla’s tongue-lashing after she complained about how Rossi had smothered her since the shooting.
“The man loves you, and we all were scared.”
Of course her friend had been right, and Jet began to tear down the walls because she was afraid she couldn’t be what Rossi needed. Evidently, based on what she’d overheard, Jet wasn’t the only one. Why couldn’t everything in her life be on the same page?
“Jesetta, wait up,” Rossi shouted.
She had no intention of responding, then changed her mind. Whirling around, she hurled the lunch box filled with sandwiches and stuff at him, then raced to her car. She was done. Marriage was a package deal—husband and in-laws. All Jet wanted was a family who genuinely would love her as a daughter. She swallowed and thought about Rossi’s mother. Sorry, Laura.
She drove off, peeling rubber without looking back. As she crossed over the Mississippi River into St. Louis, Jet’s heart was aching. She and Levi had their differences, but she had no idea he thought she was unfit to legally be a Tolliver.
For by what judgment you judge, by the same measure you will be judged, God whispered Matthew 7, but no verses.
Did that mean she had to read the entire chapter to get the message? Sniffing, she sat dumbfounded. What had she done? Hadn’t she repented of everything before her sins were buried in water? “I don’t understand, Lord.”
As she exited downtown, she didn’t know where to go. Usually, when something bothered her, she went to the cemetery. She had checked out from the hotel. Going to Mrs. Tolliver’s house for her things was out of the question at the moment. Rossi would eventually find her at either place. She was trying to understand how she—the victim—had become the perpetrator in the argument between two cousins.
Furniture or not, with the keys to her new house, Jet opted to go there. If she parked in the garage and Rossi came snooping, she didn’t have to answer the door. Hiding in the upstairs bedroom, she pulled out her iPad and found the scripture God led her to read.
She frowned. How had she judged? God answered, giving her a flashback when she gave Levi a hard time about Karyn not being good enough for anything—a mother or a wife. Jet had been pretty adamant. But hadn’t she apologized?
Words inflict wounds that only I can heal, the Lord Jesus whispered as tears streamed down her face.
She had no idea Levi was still holding that against her. “Lord, don’t I deserve mercy?”
How would she know a happy day in her life would turn into her heartbreaking? She had the keys to her house and the interview for the next day. That’s when it hit her that her clothes, toiletries, and computer were at Mrs. Tolliver’s house. “Noooooo.”
Although that would give her a reason to go shopping, she was too crushed to go anywhere. She wanted to be alone. Her phone alerted her to a text.
You’re not at the cemetery or Mom’s house. I know you don’t shop when you’re stressed, so where are you? I’m sorry, Jesetta, for the things my cousin said and what you heard. This doesn’t change how I feel. Call me.
No, she texted Rossi back and called Layla instead.
“Hey,” she said, trying to sound upbeat.
“What’s wrong?” Layla evidently didn’t buy it.
“When I woke up hyped about my house—nothing. When I decided to take your advice and be thoughtful and take Rossi a boxed lunch at his office—mind you with enough food for us to share—everything. A day I wouldn’t wish on anybody. I’ve never felt so hated, worthless, and hurt.”
“Ooh. What did he do?” Layla practically growled. “He defended me to his cousin.”
“Levi?”
Jet shook her head as if her friend could see at the same time she was alerted of a text. “You’re hurting. I’m hurting. Let’s work this out,” she mumbled.
“Huh?”
“Oh. Rossi texted me.”
“Start from the beginning and tell me exactly what Levi said. I’m starting not to like that guy.”
“Get in line,” Jet said and went on to repeat what she’d heard. “I don’t remember him being this crazy about Diane.”
I don’t know what his problem is, but you are my concern. Are you okay?Rossi sent another text.
She read it while Layla ranted on her behalf.I’m fine, she texted while trying to calm her friend down, which was a joke. “I thought turning my life over to Christ would make me lovable to others. I guess Levi didn’t see a difference. I got my sins washed away, but I guess it doesn’t mean anything.” She swallowed.
Christians’ allegiance should be to Me fo
r I died for all. Don’t cause Layla to pledge allegiance to you as Levi has done to Karyn. Recognize the adversary as the author of this confusion, God didn’t whisper. It was a rebuke.
Jet thought about her next words carefully. She didn’t want to expand the circle of confusion. “Don’t mind me, I’m venting.”
You may not need me…I need you.
That gave her pause. “Rossi says he needs me,” she repeated slowly. She had never heard him ask for anything, and pride didn’t have anything to do with it. Jet knew he was content as a man and as a minister.
“You two are still texting? Will you talk to the man,” Layla demanded. “You’ve got too much crossfire going on for me not to be there. I’m flying in tomorrow. You need backup. Rossi may not throw a punch, but I ain’t saved like that. I’m a Sunday-only churchgoer, so I’ll pack a pistol. Missouri is ‘a conceal and carry’ gun state, right?”
“Don’t pack anything but your clothes, and pray. God’s going to work this out.”
“Okay. I’ll pray. I’ll text you my flight info. Now call your man.” She disconnected. Closing her eyes, Jet bowed her head to pray, “Lord, please forgive me for whatever I’ve done to cause this division. Please lead all of us to love and reconciliation, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
She stood and rubbed her backside. She loved hardwood floors, but at the moment, she was going to the lower level where there was carpet. Then she called Rossi. “Jesetta,” he answered in a low voice filled with desperation.
“You have everything,” she said with sadness. “You don’t need me.”
“I need you for several reasons. The more pressing is to share all this food you were sweet enough to bring me.”
She laughed out loud. “We’re trying to have a serious conversation, and all you can think about is food?” She shook her head. “Besides, I’ve seen you eat, so I know you can put away that foot-long deli sandwich I brought you.”
“Any other time that would be true. When you walked out the door, I lost my appetite. Now, hearing your voice, it’s coming back. But the sandwich will taste better if you’ll share it with me.”