Barefoot and Pregnant?

by Colleen Faulkner

But Elise didn’t go back to bed. She dressed and she got in her car and she drove to the nursing home where she spotted Zane’s truck parked next to Meagan’s station wagon. She grabbed her purse and hurried in the front door.

  “Elise, hi.” The night nurse smiled sadly. “Sorry about Tom. He was such a sweetheart.”

  She smiled and wiped at her eyes. “Thanks.”

  “Zane and Megan are still inside with him. I’ll buzz you in.”

  Elise entered the dim room where Pops had slept for the last three years of his life. Meagan was just headed out the door, her hair a mess, her face red from crying.

  “I’m so sorry about your grandfather,” Elise said, reaching out to squeeze Meagan’s hand.

  She smiled. “Thanks.” She looked over her shoulder to her brother. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Zane, seated beside the bed where his grandfather still lay, raised his hand. “We’ll talk about arrangements, then.”

  Elise walked over and rested her hand on Zane’s back. He sat in the chair, leaning over, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands.

  “You didn’t need to come,” he said, his voice muffled.

  “I know.” She looked down on Pops. She had always thought it was silly when she read accounts of how peaceful a person looked when they were dead, but she saw it now, and she smiled, sad and happy at the same time. Sad he had died, happy she had known him. Maybe a person had to love the deceased one to see that peace.

  She continued to rub Zane’s back. “But I wanted to come.”

  He lifted his head, wiped his eyes and stood. “I think I’m ready to go now. I’ve said goodbye.”

  She looked down at Pops’ sweet face. “You don’t want to wait until—”

  He took her hand, shaking his head. “No, it’s okay. He donated his body to science.” He chuckled, leading her out of the quiet, dim room. “He made all the arrangements years ago. We’ll just have a simple memorial service Sunday, after church probably. Maybe a fried chicken dinner.” He laughed. “Something quiet. Pops wouldn’t approve if his passing interfered with Carter and Amy’s wedding. He always loved weddings. Loved dancing and kissing the brides.”

  Elise smiled at Zane’s memory. Hand in hand, they walked out of the Alzheimer’s ward and out of the nursing home. In the parking lot, he walked her to her car. “You know, I wasn’t ready…”

  “Ready to say goodbye?”

  “No,” he shook his head. “But it was selfish of me. Pops was ready to go. It’s just hard, parting with him.”

  She ran her hand down his arm. “I’ll follow you home.”

  He didn’t argue.

  Back at his farmhouse, they walked hand in hand up the porch steps to find Scootie waiting for them. Zane patted the dog’s head and pushed open the screen door for them.

  “You want me to make you some tea or something?” Elise asked.

  He halted in the kitchen and put his arms around her. “I’m pretty tired. I think I’ll just go to bed.”

  “Oh,” she said. “I can go home, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He rested his cheek on her shoulder. “Ellie?”

  She closed her arms around him. “Umm-hmm?”

  “I know we agreed we’d wait until we were married to make love, but would you sleep with me? Just for tonight?” He lifted head, giving her that boyish grin she loved. “Just test out the old bedsprings?”

  She smoothed his cheek with her hand. “I’d like that.”

  So still hand in hand, they walked up the stairs and lay down on the top of the homemade quilt spread across Zane’s four-poster bed. With her cheek resting on Zane’s shoulder, his arm around her, Elise drifted off to the most peaceful sleep she thought she’d ever know.

  A week later, Elise was in her office trying to clear her desk. Tomorrow she and Zane were leaving for South Carolina, along with the entire Keaton family to witness Cousin Carter and his fiancée Amy’s wedding. Elise was excited about going, but she was also nervous.

  Pops’ death the previous week had been hard, but in grieving for the loss of the new friend she had made, she discovered that she and Zane had grown closer. Somehow, sharing their personal pain made them more a couple. And his family had been so kind to her, even Meagan. Sunday, after the memorial service, they had gone back to the family farm to have chicken and dumplings the way Pops liked Sunday dinner, and Meagan had asked Elise to look after baby Alyssa while she fried chicken.

  Elise had spent the whole afternoon with the baby, even spending some quiet time with Meagan sequestered upstairs while she nursed the infant. Elise came away from the day knowing she and Meagan weren’t best friends yet, but they were no longer enemies.

  Elise grabbed a stack of pending contracts and slipped them into the proper file in her filing cabinet. When she went back to her desk, she spotted a pink “While you were out” slip of paper dated from the previous Friday. She picked it up, walking around her desk as she read it. She knew she hadn’t seen it before. It had to have gotten lost on her desk.

  From: J. Lindsborg

  Message: Great talking with you. Flying in next Friday. Make dinner reservations and we’ll talk turkey.

  “Oh, no,” Elise groaned. “No, no, no.” She crumpled the paper in her hand, afraid she was going to cry.

  “Something wrong?” Liz stuck her head through Elise’s doorway.

  “Martha must have left this message on my desk last week. Somehow it got shuffled to the bottom of the pile.”

  “And the message is?” Liz asked.

  “The vice president of Lindsborg Associates is flying in Friday to have dinner with me. John Lindsborg.”

  “So? Take him out, wine and dine him and go see Zane afterward.”

  “Liz, this is the weekend.” She came around her desk. “We’re going to Zane’s cousin’s wedding. We’re announcing our engagement. Zane is giving me a ring Friday night.”

  Liz frowned. “You could call Lindsborg and reschedule.”

  “Reschedule when he’s coming tomorrow?”

  “No, I guess that won’t work.” Liz lifted her gaze. “So tell Zane you’ll meet him down there.”

  “He won’t understand.” Elise shook her head, walking back around her desk.

  Liz hesitated. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but if he won’t understand, he’s not the man for you. This deal is going to make you a partner in this company. Does he have any idea what that will mean for your future?”

  The piece of paper still clenched in her hand, she grabbed her purse from a desk drawer. “I’ll be back in an hour,” she said and she walked out.

  All the way to Zane’s house, Elise practiced what she would say. She’d explain the situation, tell Zane to go ahead without her to South Carolina, and she’d take the first flight the next morning. Zane would understand because he loved her. He would have to.

  She pulled up in his yard under the trees that were beginning to drop their leaves. Only late September, it was still warm, but the air had changed and when she breathed deeply she could feel the changing of the season. She glanced up at the farmhouse as she walked toward the porch. It was so pretty, so idyllic. The other night they had discussed living arrangements after they got married, and she realized this was where she wanted to live. The family farm was where she wanted to raise their children.

  “Zane?” She walked up on the porch where his dog welcomed her and she stuck her head in the kitchen. “Zane?”

  No answer. He wasn’t in the house, but his truck and his car were in the driveway, so he had to be around here somewhere.

  She walked back down the steps and around the house with Scootie following behind her, wagging his tail excitedly. She was dressed casually in crisp khaki slacks and a white blouse that seemed more suited to her mood these days than the slick, tailored suits that hung in her closest in their dry-cleaning bags.

  “Zane?”

  “Ellie? In the garden.”

  She walked around the back of the hous
e to find him pulling up string bean plants, shaking the roots free of dirt and tossing them in a pile. He was wearing blue jeans, a green T-shirt and work boots with his wraparound sunglasses and he looked so good she could have eaten him up.

  “Hi.” She came down the row of beans.

  “This is a pleasant surprise.” He grabbed her by her belt loop and pulled her over, giving her kiss. “What’s up?”

  She looked at his dusty boots and then up at him. She wished he wasn’t wearing the sunglasses so she could see his eyes. “I need to talk to you about tomorrow.”

  He took one look at her and his mouth hardened. “You’re not coming,” he said flatly.

  “Zane—”

  He pushed her aside and walked down the row of beans toward the house.

  “Don’t walk away from me! You haven’t even heard what I have to say,” she called after him, her anger flaring.

  “I’ve heard enough,” he shouted back, “to know the engagement is off, Ellie.”

  Chapter Ten

  As the relationship progresses, be careful of potholes in the road. Do not allow yourself to believe they’re merely speed bumps. Heed those red flags and end a relationship before you become emotionally entangled.

  Elise stood in the garden and watched Zane retreat in disbelief. “You’re not even going to let me explain?” she demanded, following him.

  “No explanation is needed.” He kept walking. “You’ve made yourself perfectly clear.”

  She ran to catch up. “Zane, there was a mix-up with my messages. Lindsborg Associates’ vice president called me almost a week ago to say he’d be in town Friday night. They want to go through with the deal. I can’t not meet him.” She grabbed his hand and he halted but he didn’t look at her.

  “Sure you can cancel.”

  Elise had never seen him this angry.

  “Call the guy and tell him there’s been a mix-up and that you won’t be in town Friday night because you’ll be in South Carolina with your fiancé attending a family wedding.”

  “Zane, I can be there by Saturday morning.” She planted herself in front of him, blocking his path to the house. “I won’t miss Carter and Amy’s wedding.”

  “Their wedding isn’t the point, damn it!” he exploded. “The point is our wedding. Our engagement. What you’re doing is canceling our engagement.”

  “I’m not,” she groaned in frustration, tucking back a lock of blond hair behind her ear. “I want to marry you. I want to tell your family we’re officially engaged. I just can’t be with you Friday night because I have this obligation.”

  “You can’t be with your fiancé when he announces to his family that he’s marrying you because you have a business appointment,” he said coldly. “What? I’m supposed to announce our engagement alone?” He gave a humorless laugh. “Sounds to me like you canceling our engagement. Sounds to me like that golf course deal is more important to you than the ring I was going to give you!” He gestured angrily.

  Elise looked down, and when she lifted her head, her voice was full of an anger that matched his. She had known this was going to happen. She had known it! How could she ever have been so foolish as to have thought she could make it work? Her father warned her, Liz had warned her and even that stupid book warned her!

  “Liz said you would respond this way,” she muttered.

  “Of course.” He threw up his hands. “I knew that was coming. How about your father? Surely he warned you? Surely Edwin Montgomery told you you couldn’t marry me and be happy. And of course you listened to them, didn’t you?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, setting her jaw. “That’s unfair and it’s untrue.”

  “You can lie to yourself, Ellie, but you can’t lie to me. You’ve spent your whole life trying to please others. Trying to be who others wanted you to be, do what others wanted you to do. Now you have to love who you’re told to love?”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she ground out.

  “I think I do. You’ve spent your whole life trying to get your father to accept you, to love you. And guess what, it’s not going to happen. No matter what you do, he’s not going to give you that love, because the old man doesn’t have it in him.” He opened his arms. “He just doesn’t.”

  Elise felt tears sting the backs of her eyes, but she refused to let Zane see her cry. “You don’t know my father.”

  “Oh, I do. I know him because he’s just like my mother! Ellie—”

  This time it was Elise who walked away. “This conversation is over,” she said. “If you can’t accept the fact that I have obligations to my career, then we don’t belong together.”

  She walked down the path, around the house. Scootie ran after her, the Lab darting in front of her, wagging his tail, licking her fingers. Ellie thought for sure Zane would follow her, too. He didn’t.

  She patted the dog’s head and climbed into her car. “So that’s that,” she said. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, started the engine and backed out. She had a lot of work to do if she was going to be ready for John Lindsborg by tomorrow night.

  Elise remained at work that day until after ten at night and fell into an exhausted sleep. She tried hard not to think about Zane. She was heartbroken, but she knew it was better to break up now than later. She was determined she would not divorce and marry again and again as her father had. She’d remain single before she’d subject herself to that kind of emotional upheaval.

  She and Zane just weren’t suited to each other. It was that simple. Everything The Husband Finder had said was right; she’d just ignored all the advice, thinking she knew better. As for what he said about her listening to others instead of herself…well, he was just plain wrong. He was angry when he had said that; people said things that weren’t true when they were upset.

  The next day at the office, Elise wore her best knock-’em-dead red silk skirt and jacket, and her highest black heels. She was the first one in the office that morning.

  When Liz arrived at nine, she walked into Elise’s office. “So how’d it go yesterday with Zane?”

  Elise had been filing some paperwork and she kept her back to her friend. “About as badly as it could have.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  And it sounded as if Liz really was. Elise turned around to face her friend. The backs of her eyes felt raw, she’d been holding back her tears so long. She swallowed and smiled. She wasn’t going to cry. “Thanks.”

  “So?” Liz lingered in the doorway.

  Elise knew what Liz was asking. “So, the wedding is off.” She walked back to her desk. “And I’m going to make this sale to Lindsborg if it kills me.” She slid into her chair, and began to flip through some information she had printed off the Internet about some of the company’s other golf courses.

  “And you’re okay?” Liz asked quietly.

  Elise lifted one shoulder thinking that if she could just get through today, she’d be all right. “Nothing that good hard work and a great sale won’t fix.”

  Liz laughed with her. Then she was quiet for a minute. “Listen, Elise,” she said. “I want to apologize for my behavior the last few weeks.”

  Elise frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, you do.” Liz walked up to Elise’s desk, forcing Elise to look at her. “The fact of the matter is, I was jealous. I was jealous that you had someone who cared about you and…and I was jealous that you’re better at selling real estate than I am.”

  “Liz—”

  “Let me finish, babe, because you don’t get an apology out of Liz Jefferson often.” She pressed her French manicured nails to Elise’s desk. “I just want to tell you that I’m sorry. You’re my friend and I should have been happy for you. You know, I laughed at you about that book, but secretly I was jealous that it worked for you.”

  Elise gave a snort. “Yeah, right.”

  Liz smiled. “You know what I mean. At least you’re trying. You know wh
at you want, and you’re going for it.” She tapped the desk. “Well, I’ll let you get to work. Now, I want you to call me as soon as you leave Lindsborg and tell me all about the deal.”

  Elise smiled, pleased things were mended between them. “You bet.”

  That evening, Elise reached the restaurant early to be sure the table at the expensive seafood restaurant was just right. She ordered a mineral water and took a seat to wait for John Lindsborg. As she sipped her water, against her will, her thoughts drifted to Zane.

  She couldn’t believe he hadn’t called her. He had said he loved her, and yet he had broken off the engagement so suddenly, so easily, that she wondered, had he really loved her at all? Had she never been the kind of woman he could love?

  But then she thought of all the summer days they had spent on his boat, walking with Pops, just swinging on the front porch at his place and how much she had enjoyed being with him. He was funny, smart, kind; when she was with him, she had thought she was a better person than when she was apart from him. Wasn’t that love, or had she misinterpreted love for “messy emotions” as The Husband Finder had suggested?

  She sipped her water and watched the maitre d’ escort a couple in their midsixties to a table across the dining room. They had to be husband and wife—they even looked a little alike. They were laughing as the husband pulled out his wife’s chair for her. She smiled up at him, and the look on her face…it was pure love.

  Elise wondered how long the couple had been married. Thirty years? Forty? How had they known they were meant for each other? How had they known they were in love and that their love would last? They had certainly not had any books like The Husband Finder to guide them. And from the look on their faces, she doubted their fathers or friends had told them they were in love and that their love would last.

  Elise’s eyes filled suddenly with tears.

  She’d made a mistake. It was probably too late to fix it but—”

  “Miss Montgomery,” a distinguished man in his early forties said.

  Elise rose from her chair, shaking his hand. “Mr. Lindsborg, it’s nice to meet you.”