The Day He Kissed Her

by Juliana Stone

  Liam peered around Mac, one hand gripping the ball, the other shoving the brim of his cap back. He dug into the pitcher’s plate once more and exhaled. “He doesn’t look that mean.”

  “No,” Mac said carefully, trying to keep his temper in check. “He doesn’t.”

  “My dad doesn’t either.”

  Mac stared down into his past, and that temper that was festering inside him boiled. It rolled over and shot through him in one hard thrust.

  “Are you okay, Uncle Mac?”

  He nodded and lied. “Yep. So, we gonna do this kid? Are you going to get this done?”

  Liam gripped the ball. “I’m going to get this done for you, Uncle Mac.”

  “Okay.” Mac squeezed his nephew’s shoulder and then turned back toward the dugout. He avoided the stands because he was pretty sure that as soon as he laid eyes on his father, he was going to lose it. And he didn’t want to lose it here.

  Not here.

  “You alright?” Cain asked.

  “No, but we’ve got a game to get through.”

  And they did.

  Liam managed to pull it together. He struck out the next three batters, leaving the players on base stranded. The boys rallied at their last at bat, and by the time the game was over, they’d pulled ahead by one run.

  The entire time, Mackenzie felt his father’s eyes on him—boring into him like a goddamn parasite—and when he finally glanced up and met his gaze, the rage that took hold of Mac was hard to describe. He’d never felt it so intensely before. It was all consuming. It was ugly and harsh, and it left him trembling.

  Ben Draper thought he could waltz back into Crystal Lake and pick up where he left off.

  His father stood just behind their dugout, his arm around Lila’s shoulders. “Nice comeback, Liam. I see you’ve got some of your granddad’s talent.”

  Liam stood beside Mackenzie and remained silent.

  Ben’s mouth tightened. “I’m talking to you, boy. Show some respect.”

  Mac recognized the look in his father’s eyes and knew that Ben was looking to get into it. He clenched his hands together, envisioning his fist connecting with his father’s face. Christ, that would make him feel good.

  A flash of blond drew his attention and clear, blue eyes centered him. They pulled him in and calmed his soul.

  The moment passed and Mac tugged on Liam’s arm. “Come on, kid. You and your mother can stay with me tonight.”

  “He’s not worth it,” Cain said as he started forward.

  “I know,” Mac replied. “I’m good.”

  And he was good. He was real good up until the moment he reached his sister in the parking lot. Lily was with her, and the two of them looked worried and upset.

  “Did he touch you?” Mac tried to hold his temper in check, but it was damn hard.

  Becca shook her head. “No, but I don’t…I don’t know what to do. Mom wants us there, but I don’t think I can stay at home. Not if he’s back, and she just…she just refuses to understand. She thinks that this time he’ll be good, that he’s miraculously become this man she’s always known he could be. She’s so far into denial that I don’t think she’ll ever come back. Mac, he’ll hurt her again.”

  “I know.” He turned to Lily. “Can you take Liam to my place?”

  “No!” Liam yanked on Mac’s arm. “I don’t want to go without Mom. Please, Uncle Mac. Don’t make me.”

  Mackenzie recognized the fierce need to protect in his nephew’s eyes and looked at his sister because he didn’t know what to do. Christ, he just didn’t know what to do. His first instinct was to say no, to make Lily take Liam away from all the ugliness coming down on his head, but was that the right call? Was sheltering him from reality the way to go?

  As it turned out, none of it mattered anyway.

  “What the hell are you all bellyaching for? Get your asses home and be quick about it. Your mother and I have some news.”

  Liam’s eyes went as big and as round as a silver dollar. Lily reached for him, and Becca moved in front of him, her body shielding her son from the monster behind them.

  Mac turned around. “Back off, Ben.”

  His father laughed, a cold, dry sort of thing that rattled his chest and started a coughing fit. Lila held on to his arm, and it was all Mackenzie could do not to tear her away from him.

  “I see that fancy job of yours and all that city living haven’t taught you an ounce of respect.” Ben sneered, his eyes narrowing to twin slits of emerald as he moved from Mac to Becca. “I told you to get your ass home, girl. I don’t care how old you are, if you’re living with me, you’re going to abide by my rules. And when I say get your butt home for a family meeting, I don’t mean in a few hours or tomorrow. I mean now.”

  Becca shook her head and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Oh, Becs,” Lila said softly. “Please. Things will be different now.”

  Ben stared at his children for the longest time and then shrugged. “That’s fine, Lila. I don’t want her little bastard hanging around anyway.”

  Lila Draper’s face crumpled, and she started to cry, and if Mackenzie thought he couldn’t hate his father any more than he already did, he was sadly mistaken.

  As Ben tugged on his wife’s arm and ordered her to the car, he paused, his hard, green eyes on Lily, a lecherous and disgusting smile stretching his lips wide.

  “So, I’m guessing you’re Mackenzie’s new whore?”

  That was all it took. Something snapped inside Mackenzie, and the roaring in his ears moved him forward. The pain in his heart pushed forward.

  Nothing could have stopped him. Not Cain or Jake.

  And certainly not the woman who tugged on his arm. The woman he sent flying when he took a run at his father.

  Chapter 27

  Lily sat on her front porch, a glass of juice in hand, though since she could barely keep anything down, she wasn’t exactly sure why she’d grabbed it.

  It gave her something to do she supposed, since she was nervous as hell. Nervous and worried and, she sighed, so confused it made her head spin.

  Mac had spent the night in jail and so had his father. The scene at the ballpark had been awful. It had been gut-wrenching and hateful and, on many levels, eye opening. Her stomach turned over just thinking about it.

  The sound of fist meeting bone was something she hoped never to hear again. Or the anguished screams that had fallen from Lila. Never again did she want to see the red-hot rage in Mac’s eyes—that look would haunt her for the rest of her days. It was almost as terrifying as the pain she’d glimpsed when Jake and Cain finally pulled him off his father.

  She’d stood there, holding her bleeding lip—injured by his elbow when he’d gone after his father—and the utter hopelessness in his eyes had her fearing that she’d lost him forever.

  She’d spent the night tossing and turning and knowing that her world was about to change because she couldn’t go on like this. Not anymore. There were too many things left unsaid that needed to be spoken. The hourglass, it seemed, had run out of sand.

  Gibson ran up onto the steps, the burly retriever yipping playfully at her feet, but she didn’t have the heart to play with him.

  Jake and Raine had been by an hour earlier to check on her, and she’d asked them to leave the dog. She thought that she might take Gibson into the woods for a walk, to clear her head, but she had no energy.

  She had nothing, and just this once, she thought that it would be nice to feel nothing.

  Lily must have dozed off because when Gibson started barking, she jerked so badly her glass went flying and shattered at her feet. Gingerly, she got to her knees and picked up the broken pieces, placing them in a little pile beside her chair.

  A noise made her freeze.

  Mackenzie.

  He stood at
the end of the driveway, still dressed in the clothes he’d worn the night before—the jeans dirty, the T-shirt splattered with blood. He’d pulled on a ball cap, and she couldn’t see his eyes, but she felt them.

  He looked toward her for several long moments, and when he started toward the porch, her heart leaped into her chest. He crossed the lawn swiftly on his long legs until he stopped at the bottom of the steps, and he pushed the brim of his cap back.

  Sweet Jesus, but his face looked rough. He had abrasions along his jaw and beneath his eye, and stitches above his brow. Such need filled her—the need to touch him, to breathe him in, and she bounded down the stairs, straight into his arms.

  He held her for a long time, not saying anything, his arms wrapped around her as if she was his lifeline, and when he finally let her go, his fingers lingered along her mouth. His thumb grazed the tender skin near the one corner that had met his elbow the night before.

  She wanted him to keep touching her even if it hurt, to keep their connection alive, but he moved away, and her heart turned all over again. God, she felt sick.

  “Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry, Lily.”

  “Mackenzie, it was an accident,” she said softly. “Please don’t blame yourself.”

  “An accident?” His voice was incredulous. “An accident is tossing colors in with whites when you’re doing laundry. An accident is forgetting to leave your parking brake on or forgetting to turn off the sprinkler system.” He clenched and unclenched his hands. “What happened last night wasn’t an accident. It was bound to happen sooner than later. It always does. I’m just so goddamn sorry…”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know what to say. I lost it. I thought I could handle seeing him. I thought that I could keep my shit together, but when he called you a…”

  Lily flinched and reached for him, but he moved farther away.

  “When he called you a whore, I saw red.” Mac scrubbed at his face. “All I could think about was getting to him and shutting his rancid mouth the hell up. I didn’t think about anyone else. I didn’t think about you or Becca or Liam. I screwed up, like I always do.”

  Something in his tone got to her, and the fear that had been building inside Lily for days erupted. He was already leaving her.

  She blanked for a moment, saw nothing but his pain, heard nothing but his sorry, and felt nothing but the distance he was trying to put between them. She gave herself a mental shake and desperately tried for some kind of normal.

  Conversation. Yes. Keep the conversation going.

  “Is your father…”

  “He’s out. He’s with my mom, and apparently they’re going to play house again.”

  “Oh, Mackenzie. I don’t know what to say.”

  He shoved his hands into his front pockets and hunched his shoulders. “There’s nothing to say. It is what it is. She’ll always choose him over us. God, to think there was a time I thought of trying to convince her to come live with me in New York, and now she doesn’t want to talk to me.”

  He sighed. “Liam and Becca are at the cottage. They’re going to stay there until I can figure this out. I’ve already talked to the Bookers, and I think he’ll let us rent the place year-round since it’s winterized. It’s an alternative for Becca if she chooses to stay here.”

  Hope flared and she took a step toward him. “So you’re staying in Crystal Lake?”

  “What?” He shook his head vigorously. “Hell no. I’d end up killing Ben if I did. I’m heading back to New York City as soon as I get my sister settled. I just can’t…this place isn’t good for me. Not anymore.”

  “Oh,” she whispered, trying to ease the pain inside her and afraid to ask the next question. “So, what are we going to do about us?”

  He looked away, and she knew they were done. She knew that he’d given up on them. “I don’t know, Lily. I want to make this work, but I don’t see how. I won’t stay here and up until yesterday I thought…” His voice drifted off and for a few moments there was nothing.

  “You thought?” she prompted.

  He still wouldn’t look at her. “I thought of asking you to come to New York City with me, but I don’t…I just think I’m better off alone for now.”

  But what about me? What about what I think?

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Oh God. The words slipped out before she could snatch them back, and for what seemed like minutes, time stood still.

  Lily watched Mac closely, breath squeezed so tight inside her chest that for a moment she was dizzy. Sweat broke out on her forehead, and the nausea that had settled in her stomach since early morning threatened to turn into something a hell of a lot more.

  She would not be sick in front of him. She wouldn’t.

  “What did you say?”

  His voice snapped her out of her funk, and she wrapped her arms around herself, shivering and trying like hell to hold it together.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Mac’s face was like granite. Smooth. Dark. Intense. And so lovely it made her ache. She saw so much in his eyes, but it was their brutal honestly that killed her.

  He didn’t want them.

  Lily…or their baby.

  He stared at her for so long, his expression growing darker, that she finally turned away, unable to hold his gaze because the anger that sat in his eyes made her sick. She knew he would react this way. She’d prepared herself for it and yet…

  And yet it still stung. And it hurt so much more worse than she’d thought it would or even could.

  Several long moments passed as Lily gazed across the grass and watched Raine’s dog chase something on the wind. A leaf? A bug?

  Did it really matter?

  When Mac spoke, she jumped, though his voice was low. He didn’t raise it or infuse it with any of the anger she’d glimpsed in his eyes. It was as if nothing colored his words…they were just words—a means for more information.

  “How can you be pregnant?”

  A heartbeat passed as she continued to watch the dog.

  And then another.

  When she knew she could speak without losing her mind, she moistened her lips. “I’m assuming you had the birds and the bees talk at some point in your life?”

  “Don’t be flippant with me. Don’t you dare. Not now. Not after everything.”

  His voice was closer, and she knew he’d climbed the stairs and had joined her on the porch. She felt him, there at her back, so close that her skin was seared from his heat. So close that his scent washed over her. And yet she was cold.

  Her teeth chattered. She was freezing cold.

  Gibson jumped straight up into the air, his paws swinging at something, and with a yelp, he rolled over on the ground, his tail wagging madly as whatever it was he’d been hunting was finally within his grasp.

  “Lily.”

  Again with the monotone. Christ, she hated that flat sound. She would rather hear his anger, feel the wrath of it…feel something, anything, that would show her she meant something more than the mistake inside her.

  “The shower,” she said softly as she closed her eyes. If she tried real hard, she was sure she could feel the warm water on her skin, his hard, wet body against hers.

  “The shower,” he repeated.

  He waited a heartbeat, and she knew that he remembered. “But I…I stopped…I…”

  She shook her head. “No, Mackenzie. You didn’t. Not in time.”

  Another heartbeat passed and her eyes remained closed tight.

  “Are you sure?” he bit out.

  She nodded. “Since I’m never late, I bought a test yesterday, one that can detect pregnancy within days, and it was positive.”

  “But Jesus…aren’t you on the pill? Christ, I thought you said you were.”

  “I haven’t been with anyone in a long time, and there was no need for
the pill, but yes, I went to see the doctor, and I was waiting to start this month.”

  “Fuck.”

  His heat vanished from her skin, and she heard him step away. Already the pain inside her was spiraling up, expanding and infiltrating her cells. She knew she couldn’t hold off the onslaught of emotion much longer.

  “I don’t want you to have it.”

  Her eyes flew open, and it took a few seconds for her to collect herself, to put in place the familiar mask she hadn’t needed in so long. It slipped over her skin like an old friend, and she exhaled as she slowly turned around.

  Mac glared at her with something that made her gut clench. Lily felt the wobble in her knees, but she kept her chin raised and her eyes focused. There was no way in hell she was going to let him know how much his words cut her. There would be time to fall apart later when she was alone.

  “I told you.” He raked his hands through his long, blond hair. “I told you when we started this…thing between us that kids…that family…none of that was going to happen. I told you that I didn’t want that.” He shook his head, shoulders raised. “You didn’t want that.”

  I do now. The thought whispered through her mind like a secret, and it bled into every part of her.

  Mac was angry, but there was something else there…something bleak and painful and dark. She thought of the scene the night before with his father. She thought of the ugliness and pain, and she knew in that moment that Mackenzie Draper was never going to change. Not for himself. Not for her.

  And definitely not for a baby he didn’t want.

  Pain crept into her heart, and it took everything that Lily had to keep her shit together, to not lose herself to the sadness inside and fall apart in front of him. He could never know…

  He could never know how much she loved him, because he could never know how painful it felt to know that she wasn’t enough to fix him.

  “Jesus, Lily, I’m sorry.” He shook his head, that beautiful mouth of his drawn tight, his eyes tortured. “Lily, I can’t…”

  “I know,” she answered softly. “I know.” She paused, searching for the right words. Even now, hurting like she was, she still wanted to ease his pain. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to change my mind. That doesn’t mean that I don’t already feel something for this baby.”