Tranquility

by Ava O'Shay

  “Nope. Just a mutual respect for music.” He couldn’t help but smile. “In her vagina?”

  “Jesus Christ, Ren. I can have a thing with a girl that doesn’t involve sex.” “A thing?”

  “Too early to call her a friend, and she isn’t the type for a quick bang. So yes. A thing.” Ren smiled. “Damn she must have you by the balls if you’re so indecisive.”

  The music ended and Quill watched Cori give a little bow then move to the back of the stage for a drink. Tonight she wore black leather pants that he would swear on his grandmother’s grave were painted on, and a wife beater tank with what he guessed was the band’s name. It was tied in a knot on her hip and distorted the words. Her Chuck Taylor’s from class had been replaced with short, black, boots. The hairband was gone, and her blue hued hair flopped in her face when she bent to grab a water.

  “Good God you’re drooling.” Ren looked at him in amazement. “You are totally pussy whipped. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  Quill wiped at his mouth. “I am not.”

  Ren looked back at the stage. “She isn’t your usual type.”

  “What’s my usual type?” Quill knew he shouldn’t ask. He was opening the door wide for an insult.

  Ren’s eyes got big as if it was the stupidest question ever. “Drunk off their ass, too high to care their pants are around their ankles in an alley, prefer not to wear underwear… need I go on?”

  “Hey. They’re never that drunk.” Quill lamely tried to defend his actions. Hell, he didn’t care who he was doing. There had been many awkward moments when he ran into girls who remembered a lot more than he did - like the fact they’d been naked together.

  “Wait. You like her. You haven’t tapped her because you like her.” Ren smiled her evil grin. “I’m going to talk to her.” Ren hopped off her stool and took off toward the stage.

  “Ren. Shit. Ren, don’t.” Quill tried to grab her, but she was too fast. At least torturing her brother was raising her spirits.

  Ren made it to the edge of the stage a few steps before Quill. The man who preferred to wear skirts and make-up came forward just as he did the night before and squatted in front of Ren. When Quill sidled up beside her, his expression flashed a look of recognition.

  “Change your mind?” he directed to Quill.

  Ren looked back and forth between the two of them then addressed the guy straight on. “The lead singer? Her name Cori?”

  He glanced toward Cori and smiled. “Seems that’s the question of the hour.” He held out his hand. “I’m V.”

  “Like the letter?”

  “After U and before W,” he joked.

  Ren nodded. Her rainbow striped hair swirled around her back. She was dressed subdued for tonight since they had come from Jolin’s house. Her clubbing outfit usually included something similar to Cori’s: short, tight, and revealing. “Can I meet her?” She turned on her charm and smiled up at V, which was weird since it was pretty obvious he batted for the other team after his come on the last night.

  “She’s a local who lets off steam as our front man when our regular gal is out doing whatever. What’s in it for me if I let you?” he flirted back.

  Quill stood with his mouth gaping. Was she turning a gay man straight? Or was this half man half girl playing for both teams?

  Ren laughed a fake giggle, and Quill ran his hand over his hat. “Jesus Christ are you going to bang him?”

  Ren turned and punched him in the arm. Her go to emotion… smacking Quill. “Hey dude. This your gal?” V motioned toward Ren.

  “No way. He’s my twin.” Ren scrunched up her face. “Unfortunately, we’re related. Brought her out to see the show.” V nodded, assessing Ren’s body.

  Ren seemed bored, and Quill wished she’d go away. He didn’t want her observing V’s overt pick-up lines.

  V leaned backward and flopped on his ass. “So big guy, you seem a bit more… “ “Sober?” Quill asked.

  “I was going to say coherent, but same difference.” “Was having a bad day.”

  “And wanted to take it out on my girl?” V swung his legs over the edge of the stage, positioning a leg on each side of Quill, fencing him in.

  “I didn’t realize she was your girl.” “Well in the sense of I look out for her.” “So you vet the competition?”

  V leaned back, drawing his hand down his torso. “What could compete with this?”

  Quill felt his dick stir at the display V was giving him. He licked his lips and swallowed, his mouth going dry. “You aren’t with her then?” Why did he feel like he was asking more about V’s status than Cori’s? Ren was watching their exchange with a strange wrinkle between her eyebrows.

  “Not in the sense you are referring to,” V said. Quill stared at him, confused, then shook his head.

  “What are your intentions, my dear sir?” V swiped off the bandana he’d had around his head. His black hair fell to the side, covering an eye.

  Quill felt the need to reach up and move it away. He cleared his throat, trying to look relaxed when he was anything but. What the hell was going on with him? His dick was totally betraying him with this guy. “I heard Cori play in class yesterday and was surprised by this different side of her.” Quill kept his gaze trained on the back of the stage, trying to keep from running his hands up V’s thighs. Holy crap he was losing it.

  “Your sister interested in her? Because Cori doesn’t swing that way.” V scooted forward, moving closer to Quill.

  Quill lowered his gaze to V’s crotch, then back up to his eyes. “What exactly are you playing at?”

  V leaned his head back and laughed, then nailed him with a hard stare. “I’m trying to play with you.”

  Quill went to move away, but V grabbed his arm before he could get distance between them. “I’m interested. Just keep that in mind.”

  Quill looked at where Ren was standing, watching their conversation, then down at where V held his arm. “It’s been noted.”

  “I don’t think I need to talk to the girl anymore. How about you tell me a little bit about you.” Ren leaned against the side of the stage and smirked from Quill to V. “How long have you and my brother been, I don’t know, an item?”

  “Fuck off, Ren,” Quill snapped.

  She held up her hands in defense. “Hey I’m just calling it like I see it.”

  “Yeah, well you aren’t seeing much, so go find someone else to fuck with,” Quill growled. He didn’t know what to do with the feelings cursing through his body with V’s touch, and the last thing he needed was his sister provoking him.

  V lightened his grip, sliding his hand lightly down the length of Quill’s arm. Quill turned his attention back to him, not breaking their stare down until V gave his fingers a light tug. “See ya around.” V slid backward, hopped up, and followed the rest of the band into the darkness behind the stage.

  Quill knew he should have told him to fuck off or he wasn’t interested, but it didn’t feel right saying either one. His head was messed up, and V’s advances were screwing with him.

  “What was all that about?” Ren asked. “Seems he’s Cori’s bodyguard.”

  “Seems to me the only body he wants is yours.” Ren nudged him. “You interested in that?”

  Quill looked across the room and ignored Ren’s question. He didn’t know what he wanted. Maybe he was interested in V. Maybe he needed to find a willing vagina. Shit, Cori had everything someone normal looked for in a girl, and not once had he gotten hard when he was near her. That was weird wasn’t it? Shouldn’t his dick be telling him something?

  “Shit.” He flipped his hat around. “Let’s score some cash. I need to get wasted.”

  Ren’s eyes narrowed for a minute, but then her kick ass smile formed. “I bet I can get a guy to buy me three beers before you can get a girl to buy yours… or do you want to go guy vs guy.” She raised an eyebrow, the sparkling ring piercing it glittered in the overhead lights.

  “Why not just say three and it doesn’t ma
tter who we get to buy them? Feel free to use a girl if needed.” So much for his promise to stay sober.

  Ren was up two-zero in the first hour. Quill wasn’t exactly sober, but he was losing the bet. A girl he knew from his Algebra class had slipped him a Molly or X, he wasn’t completely sure, but he was feeling no pain, even though he was losing. And he didn’t like losing to Ren.

  Ren had snuggled up to what was probably a fraternity guy from the college. Her personal fuck you to Jolin and his frat dreams. In the long run, she was only hurting herself. That was her mode of operation, hurt the people close to her before they could hurt her. But no matter how careful she was, in the end it was her that got hurt. Jolin wasn’t even here so how fucking around on him was going to show him was a mystery to Quill. Keeping everyone at a distance was a better plan. Quill never let anyone too close.

  Quill shivered when fingers trailed across his back. He jerked around to find V leaning against the bar. “Hey,” V said smoothly.

  “Cori still around?” Quill asked looking over his shoulder.

  “No. She doesn’t do the scene. Just likes the chance to sing.” V put a hand on Quill’s thigh.

  Quill looked down, then smiled. “You want to buy me a beer? Or three?” “You already looked amped up.”

  “Are you the intoxication meter?” Quill snapped back.

  “I don’t need substances. The music is all I need for a high.”

  “Did you read that on a bumper sticker?” Quill drilled his stare into him, trying to throw him off his game.

  V gave him a lazy smile. “What are you running from?”

  “Not you. I’m not scared of you. I know you think you’re freaking me out, but you aren’t.”

  V removed his hand from Quill’s thigh and placed it over his own chest. “I’m not trying to freak you out.” He tried to look offended, but couldn’t suppress a lopsided smile.

  “So what’s up with you and this get up?” Quill changed the subject to something safer. “It’s for the act. A gimmick.” V spun around on his stool.

  “And the name?”

  “Assad McVee. V for short.” “Another gimmick?”

  “Played soccer in school. Nickname.”

  “Can I call you Ass?” Quill’s mouth twitched.

  “Ha, ha. Like I haven’t heard that before. Can I call you Douche?”

  Quill lowered his head to the bar. “Sorry. I’m Quill. I’ll call you Assad.” “You can call me whatever you want.” His voice rumbled in a low baritone. “Seriously?”

  “Sorry. Yeah. I’d like it if you’d call me Assad.”

  Quill rolled his head to the side to look at Assad. “So if I was to see you… say in class you won’t be wearing this?”

  Assad shook his head. “What makes you think we don’t already have class together?” “Do we?”

  “Maybe. I’ve seen you around.”

  “I guess I should pay closer attention.” Quill looked back to where Ren had been standing.

  She’d moved. Or she’d been dragged to the door by her white knight.

  Quill laughed and looked at his watch. An hour. Jolin gave her an hour to calm down, which she didn’t do, before he came after her.

  Jolin caught his gaze and waved. Quill saluted him and turned to his new friend. “Dude, since you’re sober, how about a ride home?”

  Assad looked surprised at his request, but hopped off the stool, holding his arm out for Quill to lead the way.

  The cool air felt good on Quill’s face. The pill he took made him feel extremely mellow. Assad led him to a small, blue car. Some Japanese brand that Quill didn’t care enough about to look into. With a beep, the doors unlocked and Quill slid in.

  “You remember where you live?” Assad gave him his lopsided grin again.

  “I live above The Perk. You know the place?” Quill flipped his hat around so the brim was in the front and leaned back in the seat. “Your car is very clean.”

  Assad laughed. “That’s because I’m a grown up.” “Yeah, I don’t think that’s why.”

  “Probably not a good idea to offend the guy giving you a ride home.”

  Quill watched Assad’s hands slide over the steering wheel and couldn’t help the reaction it caused. His body was confused. It had to be because he’d thought Assad was a girl when they first met. That must be it.

  The club wasn’t far from The Perk and before Quill knew it, they were parked in a spot in front of the shop. Jolin’s blue Camaro was already parked there.

  “Shit,” he muttered not wanting to be in the apartment with yelling. He was feeling too relaxed.

  “Not the right store?” Assad leaned forward to read the sign through the passenger window, coming very close to Quill’s chest, but he didn’t care. “Is there another?”

  “No. This is the place. That’s my sister’s boyfriend’s car. They are having an argument.”

  “How do you know?” Assad undid his seatbelt, shifting in the seat to brace a hand across the top of Quill’s seat.

  Quill’s eyes felt heavy. He let them close. His words were slow and quiet. “It started at dinner. Now it is continuing.”

  “Hmm.” Assad’s fingers massaged the back of Quill’s neck. Quill’s eyes opened lazily. Assad’s face was very close. “Look… “

  “Shhh,” Assad cupped Quill’s cheek, running a rough thumb over his lower lip. “I don’t think—” Quill tried again.

  “Then don’t,” Assad interrupted.

  Assad was handsome. The light from the street lamp made the golden flecks in his light brown eyes sparkle. Quill felt himself slipping back into his past.

  The man’s breath hot against his cheek. His rough chest hairs rubbing against his bare back. The muffled words of affection when he began to move. The sounds of the man’s sharp grunts, the pain as he pushed in deeper. “You’re a fag now.” He ran a hand down Quill’s cheek. “You don’t want your friends to know you liked it. Let’s keep this between us or I might decide to move on to your sister.”

  Quill squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push the memory away. It hadn’t mattered. Ren had sacrificed herself for him while he thought he was protecting her.

  Quill’s lips tingled at Assad’s light touch. The taste of peppermint entering his mouth when Assad’s tongue encouraged him to let him in. Quill’s head was reeling with the harsh memories he’d locked away and the overwhelming gentleness of this kiss. The drug he’d taken made his body crave the affection Assad offered. Quill opened his mouth, letting the kiss deepen, moving his mouth in response to the feelings stirring. The hand on his cheek threaded through his hair, kneading at the back of his neck. The other ran down his thigh. Quill felt his body tense before the hand grabbed his sack and lightly pushed into it, encouraging his already hard cock.

  He fought through the fog the drug had placed on his brain. He shouldn’t like this, this shouldn’t be turning him on. The air was pulled from his lungs, he was drowning. He fought to the surface of the nightmare he’d fallen in to. Struggling against the door, Quill found the handle, opened it and tumbled to the sidewalk. Assad fell across the seat, his head dangling out the door, looking up, confused.

  Quill shook his head, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and scooted toward the shop.

  Assad crawled out the door after him. “You okay?” Quill nodded, willing his voice to steady. “Yeah.”

  Assad looked disappointed, but seemed to get the message Quill was sending. He was done. Assad pushed the passenger door closed. “I’m sorry. I thought you were into me. My mistake.” Assad walked around the car and drove away leaving Quill partially sprawled on the sidewalk. He dropped his head into his hands and tried to pull in deep breaths. He was fucked up. What just happened? Assad had sucked him into a memory. One that he had buried under his bad attitude and irresponsible behavior. A chill ran through his body, shaking him to his toes.

  The door to the coffee shop burst open, making him jump. Jolin stomped out, swearing under his breath.


  “Hey bro,” Quill called out, hoping his voice sounded steadier than it felt. Jolin turned, surprised. “Why are you sitting on the sidewalk?”

  Quill patted the spot beside him. “Seemed safer than inside with Ren. Jolin gave a sad chuckle then sat down next to him on the cement.

  “She’s scared,” Quill finally said after they sat silently for a while. “I know.”

  “Did you tell her something to help her not be scared?”

  “Apparently not. She broke up with me.” It was Jolin’s turn to drop his head in his hands.

  “She doesn’t mean it.” Quill hoped she didn’t.

  “I can’t keep getting pushed away, and then pulled back at her convenience. I tried to tell her we needed to get out from under all this shit that went down last year, and she took it as I couldn’t handle her anymore.”

  “We don’t tell people about our past because no one wants to know. It’s heavy shit. You fell into it, and no one can expect you to be able to handle it. I get it dude. We’re eighteen. Live your life.”

  “What the hell are you talking about? I don’t want to leave her. I didn’t want to break up.”

  “Give her a day or two.”

  Jolin leaned back and looked up at the sky. “I’m just tired of reliving it every day. I wanted something different to talk about, to experience, but I didn’t want it without her.

  Whatever.” He flung his hand out. “So how’d you get home?” “A guy from the band.”

  “A guy?”

  Quill lifted the hat off his head nervously.

  “You’re trying out the gay thing aren’t you?” Jolin asked. “Didn’t mean to, but it kind of happened.”

  Jolin turned. “And… “

  “I’m fucked up.” He fell back on the sidewalk. “Was it weird?”

  “You wondering what it’s like to kiss a guy?” Quill laughed dryly. “I’m wondering what it was like for you to kiss a guy.”

  “It was kind of like kissing a girl without having to take the lead.” He turned his head to look up at Jolin. “You know when a girl wants to take charge, she kisses kind of aggressive?

  Like she’s eating your face?” Jolin laughed but nodded.