The Convenient Mail Order Bride

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  “She didn’t have that in Ohio?”

  “None she felt close to.”

  Phoebe left his side and ran over to greet Lois. Abe stood there for a moment, just watching as Phoebe talked to Lois. The front door of the cabin opened, and her mother let out an excited cry when she saw their visitor.

  As mother and daughter helped Lois out of the buggy, Abe shook his head. There was no way Phoebe was leaving now. Not since they had befriended someone as nice as Lois, one of the few white people who’d always looked Abe right in the eye and said hi to him, no matter how many people in town saw her do it. Lois was a gutsy lady, too. No doubt, she had a gun somewhere in that buggy with her.

  Her husband had been a tough man. Very protective of her, but also fair to all he came across, including Abe’s uncle. He’d taken it upon himself to bury his uncle and had checked in on Abe and his mother from time to time. Abe still missed him, though he’d often felt better knowing that dying in one’s sleep was the best way a man could go.

  “Well, Abe, don’t be a stranger,” Lois called out to him as she turned from Phoebe and her mother. “Come on over.”

  He did as she wanted, and though it was embarrassing to be hugged as if he were a child, he hugged Lois back, knowing it would hurt the poor woman’s feelings if he didn’t.

  “It’s nice to see you taking a wife,” Lois told him. “The preacher was grinning from ear to ear about it at the sermon this morning.” She glanced at Phoebe and her mother. “I know it’s not Sunday, but he likes to have a sermon every day he’s here to make up for the Sundays we miss.”

  “Oh, we didn’t realize that,” Phoebe’s mother said. “He didn’t say a word to us about it yesterday while he was here.”

  “I’m sure you had more important things going on, what with the wedding and all,” Lois replied.

  “It was a lovely ceremony.” Her mother gestured to the flowers. “We all stood over there. I’m telling you, it was much nicer than being inside.”

  “As long as it’s not too hot or cold or windy, outside is always best.”

  “I just finished making some tarts. Would you like one?”

  “That’d be lovely.”

  Phoebe’s mother turned to Abe and Phoebe. “You want to come, too?”

  “No, I need to keep working,” Phoebe said.

  “Oh, we don’t need to bother them,” Lois told Phoebe’s mother with a wink. “The two are newlyweds. They have better things to do than hang around us old folk.”

  Phoebe’s mother giggled and led Lois into the cabin.

  Despite the breeze, Abe could feel his face warming as he considered what he could be doing with Phoebe instead of showing her how to care for a garden.

  Phoebe clasped her hands in front of her and turned to face him. “Is it wise to have the gun ready for when someone comes onto this property?”

  Relieved she hadn’t been able to tell the direction his thoughts had taken, he said, “I like to be prepared. You never know what will happen.”

  “Then should I wear a gun in the holster you gave me?” When he furrowed his eyebrows, she added, “In case I’m not near the barn, I can have it.”

  “Now that you know how to shoot one, it’s probably a good idea. But we have some in the house, too. I keep a couple in the drawer in the nightstand.”

  “I don’t recall seeing one when I put my things in your bedroom.”

  “They were on my side under my things.”

  “Oh.” She nodded and let out a sigh. “Is there anything else I should do with the garden?”

  “No. We’re done with that for the day.”

  “Good. Should we check the trap and see if I caught an animal?”

  “Yes.” It’d be nice to take a short walk. “I suppose you can even practice shooting if there’s nothing in the trap.”

  “Sure. That’ll be fun.”

  His eyebrow raised in surprise. “Fun?”

  “It’s fun to see if I can shoot a bottle,” she said.

  “But it’s not fun to shoot someone.”

  “I didn’t say it was. I hope I never have to shoot anyone.”

  He studied her and saw that what she was saying was true. While she didn’t want to shoot anyone, she understood there might come a day when she’d have to, and she was fully prepared for it. Yes, she had the spirit of a Cherokee in her. His uncle would be asking him why he insisted on being so stubborn. Just make her your wife already, his uncle would say if he was alive.

  Shoving the thought aside, Abe said, “I’ll get your holster, and we’ll head out.”

  Then he went to the barn.

  ***

  That evening Abe sat in the barn loft. He had waited until Phoebe’s mother went to bed before coming out here. He didn’t want her mother to wonder why he wasn’t going to bed with Phoebe. He couldn’t even explain it to himself. He was making things more difficult than he had to. That, he understood. But for the life of him, he didn’t know why.

  After staring at the open doorway of the barn for a while, he shook his head and got his blanket and pillow to set out for the night. He didn’t know what he was waiting for. Just what did he think was going to happen? Unless he went back to the cabin, he wasn’t going to see Phoebe again.

  He took off his boots and blew out the light in the lantern hanging on the hook over his head. What was wrong with him? Was he really pining away for some woman like a lovesick schoolboy? The whole thing was ridiculous. Yes, she had spunk. Yes, she managed to impress him. But that didn’t mean he had to fall at her feet in adoration.

  Letting her know she’d done a good job was enough. She hadn’t run off when the gun had offered its kickback. His mother had fired a gun once, and that was all it took for her to say she didn’t care for it. Phoebe, on the other hand, not only practiced more that day, but she’d shown patience in waiting for the trap to yield an animal.

  He must remember to tell her she did admirably with the chores the next time he saw her. Feeling much better, he closed his eyes and released his breath. This was his favorite time of the day. The soothing sounds of the occasional coyote, horse neighing, and crickets always had a calming effect on him. He took a deep breath and released it again, feeling the day’s tension easing from his muscles. He could finally rest.

  “Are you awake?”

  His eyes flew open, and he bolted up, his head just barely missing the ceiling. In the dark, he barely made out Phoebe’s face as she peered at him from the top of the ladder. He put his hand over his heart and gulped a breath of fresh air. How did he not hear her coming?

  “You’re too quiet for my own good,” he told her. “Aren’t you wearing anything on your feet?”

  “I found a pair of your soft shoes and slipped them on. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  He was ready to reassure her he was fine when he remembered she mentioned wearing his shoes. “Aren’t my moccasins too big for your feet?”

  “All I was doing was coming out here. Have you seen all the buttons on my boots? It’d take ten minutes to get all those done up right.” After a moment, she asked, “Can I have a pair of moccasins? It’d be nice to have something more comfortable when I do the chores around here.”

  “Did you come out here to ask me that?”

  “No. I just thought of that question now. I actually came out to ask if I can stay out here with you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s hard to sleep alone. I got so used to being with someone. Back in Ohio, the only time I slept by myself was on a couch, and it was before my pa died. When Ma and I moved in with Phillip, we had to sleep in the same bed.”

  He was ready to suggest she sleep with her ma tonight, but he already knew why she couldn’t. He let out a sigh as he debated whether or not this was a good idea. Yes, they had slept out here together before, but back then, she’d fallen asleep without meaning to and they hadn’t been married. It’d been easier to resist doing anything.

  “You can’t slee
p here,” he told her. “I’ll talk with you for a while if that’s what you want, but I’m going to take you back to the cabin when you get tired.”

  “Why can’t I sleep here?” she asked as she crawled into the loft.

  He moved over, giving her enough room so she could get comfortable. “You don’t know when to stop,” he muttered.

  After she got comfortable, she turned to face him. “All I’m doing is lying next to you.”

  All she was doing was lying next to him? Did she honestly believe that? He glanced at her and saw she did, in fact, mean it. The woman had no idea she was playing with fire.

  “Yeah, well, don’t get too comfortable,” he finally said and settled onto his back.

  He crossed his arms because he didn’t know what to do with his hands. At least this way, they were safely tucked under each arm.

  She, however, didn’t help matters any when she snuggled up to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

  He sighed in irritation. “What are you doing?”

  “Just resting.” She slipped her arm around his waist. “I can see why you like it out here. It’s nice.”

  “I don’t come out here every night.”

  “I know, but since you have a blanket and pillow, I figure you come out here once in a while. And this was even before my ma and I arrived on the stagecoach. How often would you sleep out here?”

  “Maybe once or twice a week unless it was too cold.”

  “What brought you out here so often?”

  “Habit.”

  “Habit?”

  She wasn’t going to quiet down any time soon. When she said she couldn’t sleep, she meant it. He didn’t know whether to chuckle or groan.

  “What started the habit, Abe?” she asked. “You can tell me even if it’s not pleasant.”

  “It’s something I started when I was a child. This was the one place I could go to when I needed to be alone,” he replied. “It was just,” for lack of a better word, he shrugged, “nice.”

  “I had a place like that, too, when I was younger. There was a tree in the park I used to climb up. I used to pretend it was in the middle of a large jungle and-”

  “You know what a jungle looks like?”

  “No, but I saw a painting of one in the library. There were a couple of illustrations in some books Ma would read to me, too. I like it out here. It reminds me of a jungle, but only because there are so many trees. There aren’t lots of hideous insects or snakes.”

  He chuckled. “Yes, there are. Maybe not the kind in jungles, but we have them out here.”

  She lifted her head and peered down at him, her eyes wide. “Dangerous ones?”

  He considered telling her no, but what good would that be? “Some, but I don’t often see them.” When a worried frown crossed her pretty face, he added, “If you stay on the main paths, you’ll be fine.”

  If he was smart, he’d tell her all sorts of tall tales about men who’d lived out here and saw their untimely demise from a black widow or a rattlesnake, but he didn’t have the heart to do it. Not only would it be wrong for him to intentionally scare her, but he didn’t want her to leave. It was a truth he’d been putting off long enough. There was no sense in denying it anymore.

  However, that didn’t mean he had to tell her. Not yet anyway. She still needed to learn to skin the animal. It was the hardest part of living out here, minus the attitude from some people in town. He had to know if she was strong enough to press through it.

  His mother had been weak. His uncle had sheltered her far too much, and that was something he didn’t understand until she couldn’t handle it after his father died of a heart attack. For as long as he lived, he didn’t think he’d get over the image of his mother lying in bed with the empty bottle of poison beside her.

  She hadn’t warned him. There had been no indication she was thinking of killing herself. If she’d talked to him, he didn’t know if he could have talked her out of it. He’d only been sixteen. Yes, he would have tried, but her devotion to his father had run so deep it was hard to get through to her about anything.

  He took a deep breath and released it, and in doing so, he brought himself into the present. Phoebe was still resting beside him. With a sigh, he brought his arm around her, and she snuggled closer to him.

  “You aren’t the kind of woman who needs a man in order to survive, are you?” he asked.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “If something were to happen to me, you’d be able to take care of yourself and your mother, wouldn’t you?”

  “I thought that’s why you’re teaching me how to shoot a gun and provide food for us,” she replied. “So that if I needed to, I could take care of everything on my own.”

  His eyebrows furrowed. How did she come to that conclusion? He thought she suspected he was being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. He should have given her more credit. She was smart enough to put the pieces together.

  “I just don’t want you to think life out here is easy,” he said.

  “I know,” she assured him. “I’m not expecting it to be.”

  “I don’t understand why you want to be here so badly.”

  “I like being with you,” she said. “And deep down, I think you like being with me, too. But that’s not the only reason. I like it here. This is a nice place. My mother likes it here. She’s got a friend now. There are some good people in town. If we can get more good people around here, then things are bound to get better.”

  The last part of her explanation made him laugh. Phoebe was quite the optimist, but sooner or later, she’d come to learn the hard truth. “Don’t be fooled into thinking Eric putting Benny and Enoch in jail made any difference. The bad always finds a way to pop up, and often when you least expect it.”

  “That’s why I’m learning to shoot a gun. If something bad happens again, I’ll be able to react better than I did in the general store.”

  “You shouldn’t have to worry about going into a general store.”

  “And I won’t next time because I’ll have a gun, and I’ll know how to use it.”

  “Well, it’s not a bad idea to be near a gun at all times. I know you think the rifle is the better choice, but it’s a lot easier to carry a Colt with you wherever you go.”

  He felt her nod and decided that was enough warning for one evening. She was taking his words to heart, and that gave him comfort. Maybe, just maybe, she could handle living out here.

  For tonight, however, it was enough to close his eyes and hold her. She settled into silence, and he could only guess what was going through her mind. He resisted the urge to ask her. Instead, he relaxed, and before long, he fell asleep.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Phoebe’s exhilaration of catching an animal quickly gave way to apprehension as Abe placed the fox on the ground, setting it on its back. She watched as he positioned the upper half of its body on an incline.

  “Why aren’t we doing this in the barn?” she asked.

  “Because this is your first time, and you’re likely to puncture an organ or use the wrong angle when cutting with the knife,” he replied. “I didn’t succeed in doing this right away. It took practice. Mostly, you need to get comfortable doing it. If you get dizzy or nauseous, remember you can step away from this for a few minutes.”

  She bit her lower lip as she turned the knife over in her hands. He’d given her smaller gloves for this task, probably ones he’d worn when he was younger. They looked as if they’d been well used in the past. Of course, the gloves could have belonged to his mother.

  “Were these your mother’s?” she asked, raising her hands to show him her gloved hands.

  “No. My mother wouldn’t do this chore.”

  She wanted to ask him more about it, but she noted the disappointment in his voice and figured she knew enough. His mother hadn’t managed well out here. At least, not as well as he would have preferred. Well, that explained why he worried she wouldn’t be able to handle i
t. She was a woman, like his mother had been, and since that was the case, he saw her in the same light he’d seen his mother: weak and delicate.

  She clutched the knife in her hand. She could do this. It didn’t matter if she was a woman. Why, on the train, she’d heard of a woman who took some acreage and created a homestead. She did this all on her own. And if that woman could do it, then Phoebe could skin an animal.

  “You got the string we brought out?” Abe asked her, glancing her way.

  Not sure what he wanted to do with the string, she looked at her knife. “Yes.”

  “You need to tie off its penis.”

  Her jaw dropped. “I need to do what?” Surely, she hadn’t heard right.

  “If you don’t, urine can get on the meat. If that happens, you’ll spoil it.”

  Oh. That made sense. Even so, this wasn’t going to be pleasant. But then, none of this would be. She placed the knife on the clean blanket then picked up the string. The fox was dead. It wouldn’t feel anything. She kept telling herself this as she performed the task. When she was done, she hesitated to breathe a sigh of relief. No doubt, this had been only the first of many disgusting things she’d have to do.

  “You can use the knife now,” Abe said. “You want to cut from the tail,” he pointed to it, “and work your way up to the chin.” He made a straight line from the tail to the chin. “Don’t cut deep, though. Be careful. You don’t want to accidently poke the stomach. Also, try not to get any hair in the meat.”

  That was a lot to do at once.

  As if he could read her mind, he said, “Go slow. As long as you don’t rush it, you should do fine.”

  She nodded but took a moment to gather her courage. She could do this. Abe did this all the time. “How old were you when you first did this?” she asked.

  “Eight.”

  “That young?”

  “It was just me and my uncle doing this, and my uncle wanted to make sure I could take care of my mother in case anything happened to him.”

  Surprised, she turned toward him. “Did something happen to him?” What a stupid question. Of course, something did. Why else would Abe be out here by himself when she and her mother got here?