by Barker, Dawn
‘Excuse me!’ he shouted. ‘My wife’s been in an accident – I need to see her now!’
The receptionist still didn’t look up, but she briefly stopped typing. ‘Have a seat, sir. I’ll let the doctors know you’re here.’
He walked back towards the rows of chairs in the waiting room, too agitated to sit down. There were only two other people there: an elderly man with a rattling cough and a young man in paint-speckled clothes clutching his elbow. They both stared at the television mounted on the wall, showing some American chat show. He paced back and forth. The receptionist would have rushed him through if Anna had been seriously hurt, wouldn’t she? Did she even know who Anna was or did she just enjoy acting as gatekeeper? He watched people come and go through the plastic swing door to the emergency ward; it slapped open and closed, teasing him with glimpses of what lay beyond. What were they doing to Anna through there? Every minute that passed was a minute that Jack was still missing; he needed to see Anna now. At the thought of Jack still being out there somewhere, on his own, his legs began to shake and he had to reach out to steady himself on the back of a chair. The whole situation was so absurd, so unreal. Things like this didn’t happen to people like them – they were just a normal family. Acid burned in his throat and he coughed. Suddenly filled with resolve, he looked around; no one was watching him. He put his head down, strode towards the plastic door and pushed it open.
No one seemed to notice him inside either. In front of him was a long bench covered with piles of yellow folders, phones perching precariously on top of them. A herd of staff in baggy blue and green outfits hovered over it. Around the outside of the room, patients lay on trolleys and beds. Some had flimsy curtains drawn around them; others had nothing else to do but watch the activity in the centre of the room.
He approached the end of the bench closest to him, where a man with a stethoscope around his neck sat on a stool scribbling in a file.
‘Excuse me, I need to see Anna Patton – I was told she was here.’
‘Sorry, not my patient,’ the doctor said, barely looking up.
His cheeks flushed. He didn’t know whether to cry or scream. ‘For God’s sake! The police called me to say my wife’s here, and my baby’s missing. Does anyone in this place care?’ His voice cracked.
The doctor closed the file and looked up. ‘Oh, that lady.’
‘What?’
‘Wait here for a minute. I’ll find out who you need to talk to.’
He couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice. ‘Thank you.’
The doctor approached a tall, thin young man in green scrubs. They spoke quietly and the younger man nodded, put down his pen and walked towards him, holding out one hand. Tony shook it, noticing the beetling veins in his forearms. The other doctors and nurses skulked away.
‘Mr Patton, I’m Dr Hall, the registrar looking after your wife. Sorry to keep you waiting.’
‘Where is she? Is she all right? The police said —’
Dr Hall held out his hands, palms facing him, and spoke slowly. ‘First of all, she’s OK. She was pretty cold and shocked when the ambulance picked her up, but she seems stable, physically.’
‘Thank God …’ He let out a big breath, then swallowed, trying to force the panic down again. ‘She was with my baby, Jack, but the police said he wasn’t there. He’s not even six weeks old …’
Dr Hall cleared his throat and looked down. ‘Yes, the police told us that.’
‘They still haven’t found him?’ The room began to reel. He closed his eyes, but that made it worse, so he forced them back open.
‘I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything, but I’m sure they’ll contact you the moment they have news. All I know is that your wife was lying on some rocks just over the edge of a cliff. We’re assuming she fell.’ Dr Hall paused and looked at Tony. He didn’t want to think about the implications of that look.
‘But Jack was with her. I don’t understand …’ How could they still not have found him? Jack couldn’t walk, he had to be where Anna had left him; why hadn’t she told anyone where he was?
‘Mr Patton, I know the police are doing everything they can to find him.’
Dr Hall’s deliberately calm, slow voice petrified him. They must teach student doctors at medical school how to speak like that in order to tell people they have only two weeks to live. He breathed deeply and forced himself to concentrate. ‘Can I see her?’
Dr Hall nodded. ‘It would be great if you could try to talk to her. Anna hasn’t said anything to us yet.’
His eyes widened. ‘What do you mean she hasn’t said anything? You said she was OK!’
‘She is OK physically, apart from some cuts and bruises. My consultant’s going to come and have a look at her too, and we’ll order some tests. But she isn’t responding to questions. We just don’t know what’s going on at this stage.’
The room began to spin once more; he looked for a wall to steady himself against. Dr Hall put his hand on his shoulder and guided him to a chair. He sat, no longer sure that he could stand. What did he mean, Anna wasn’t responding to questions? What was happening? There must have been a mistake – Anna had dropped Jack off somewhere, probably somewhere really obvious. Think, think, think: where would she have taken him?
‘It’s a lot to take in, I know,’ Dr Hall said. ‘We need to know a bit about her medical history. Does she have any illnesses?’
‘No, no, she’s always been healthy.’
‘Has she been well recently?’
He hesitated. Could he honestly say she’d been well? He had convinced himself that she was, but he wasn’t sure he could trust his judgement. ‘Well, yeah, I suppose so. She’s been tired, you know, a bit down, with the new baby … but she’s been well, I mean —’
‘How about any medications – is she taking anything that you know of?’
He nodded. ‘She saw the GP a couple of weeks ago. She got some tablets to help her sleep.’
‘Can you remember what they’re called?’
‘I don’t know … Do you think this is something to do with the tablets? I’ve heard about people sleepwalking, driving cars while they’re still asleep, that could explain why she was there …?’
Dr Hall shrugged. ‘At the moment we need to look into everything. I’ll give her GP a call. I’ll need to get some more information from you, but that can wait.’
He struggled to his feet again. He could barely hold up his head. ‘Can I see her?’
Dr Hall glanced over Tony’s shoulder. ‘Of course.’
He was relieved. When he saw her, this would all make sense. Maybe Anna wouldn’t talk to the police and the doctors, but of course she would talk to him. Anna had always told him everything. She would explain everything. She had to.
* * *
He followed Dr Hall past the patient bays to the door of a small room that he hadn’t noticed before. Dr Hall seemed to pause for a second, then pushed open the door. He held it for Tony, nodded at him, then left.
From the doorway, he could see the familiar shape of Anna, curled up in a bed with her back towards him. The noise behind him seemed to fade. All he could hear was her heavy breathing, and the beeps of the monitors attached to her.
‘Anna?’
Tony walked forward, letting the door swing closed behind him, then put his hand gently on her shoulder, which had escaped from the shroud of the thin sheet.
‘Anna?’
Her muscles tensed under his hand. He increased the pressure, shaking her slightly. ‘Anna, it’s me, Tony. Are you OK?’
He slowly removed his hand and walked around to the other side of the bed. When he saw her face, he gasped. ‘Oh, Anna …’
The woman lying there was barely recognisable to him. She lay on her right side, curled up tightly like an injured dog. Her eyes were open, her eyelids peeled back to stare at the wall. He turned his head and followed her line of vision, sure he would see some horror etched there, but it was just a blank wall. Strands o
f her hair had escaped from the rubber band that tied it back and were frozen in disarray, matted stiff with salt water and sand. Her pale lips blended almost perfectly into her pallid face, though he could see them moving slightly. He leaned towards her, but couldn’t catch any of the words she whispered. Her cheek and forehead were scribbled with dirty scratches and on her chest a bruise was already forming around a deep cut.
‘Oh Jesus,’ he said. What had happened to her? ‘Anna, Anna, it’s me.’ He shook her now, harder, and his voice grew louder. Her eyes flickered towards him, and for a moment he saw his wife peering at him. His Anna, who laughed every time he tried to do a French accent; his Anna, who pretended that she didn’t let the dog sleep on the bed when he was away; his Anna, who strapped Jack to her chest when he was upset and walked around with him for hours so that he could feel her heartbeat. For just a moment he saw her, and knew how frightened she was, but before he could tell her that everything was all right, she disappeared again.
He spoke again, but more softly so he wouldn’t scare her. ‘Anna, where’s Jack? Where’s the baby?’
Why wouldn’t she answer? Couldn’t she hear him? Didn’t she understand that they had to find Jack?
‘Anna? Please! This is important!’
He reeled back and sat down on a grey plastic chair in the corner. He held his head in his hands for a few moments. Nothing made sense. He looked at Anna again, but she hadn’t moved. He considered shouting louder, slapping her cheek, but he knew it would be useless. He couldn’t bear feeling so helpless. In the past he’d always known what to do if something was wrong, how to fix it, but now, when it was the most important thing in the world, he had no idea.
The door creaked open behind him. He lifted his head and saw Dr Hall.
‘I heard a noise,’ the doctor said. ‘Are you OK?’
He shook his head at such an idiotic question: of course he wasn’t. He opened his mouth to answer, but had no words. What was the point? He stood up and moved towards the door, but before he walked out, he remembered that the woman lying in the bed was Anna. She was hurt; it wasn’t her fault. He turned back and kissed her forehead. She didn’t seem to notice; she just kept staring at the wall. He turned away from her again and went through the door Dr Hall held open for him.
They walked back to the bench, and both sat down.
‘I don’t understand,’ Tony began. ‘What’s wrong with her?’
‘Mr Patton, we’re not sure what’s going on at the moment, but we have a few things we want to do. At the moment we’re monitoring her and ordering some tests. I’m organising a CT scan to rule out any significant head injuries, though there’s no neurological signs to suggest that’s the case —’
Tony leaned forward, frowning. ‘Have you seen her? Obviously something’s wrong with her! She wasn’t like that this morning …’ He stopped as the reality of the situation struck him afresh. Jack. He could see him, gazing up into his eyes as he guzzled down the bottle of milk this morning before he left for work. He gripped the arms of the chair to stop himself crumpling in a heap. ‘Oh God. Where’s the baby? Where’s Jack?’
‘I’m sure the police are doing everything they can.’
‘I need to go. If she’s like this …’ His breath quickened. ‘What the hell has happened? I have to go.’
Without waiting for a reply, he ran back towards reception, oblivious to everything around him. He pushed through the opaque plastic doors and saw his mum standing near the main entrance with her back to him. Ursula’s arms were crossed, and she looked up at a uniformed police officer.
Tony stopped, froze, then took a deep breath. It wasn’t what he thought: if it was bad news the police would have told him first, not his mum. They would have asked the doctors where he was, or called his phone. The police officer was writing something in a small black notebook. He strode forward.
‘Mum,’ he said, over her shoulder.
Ursula spun around, startled. ‘Anthony! What’s happening? Is Anna all right?’
He shook his head. ‘No … I don’t know. What about Jack? Have you heard anything?’
Ursula moved her head a little, not looking him in the eyes. ‘This is Constable Pagonis.’
He shook the hand offered to him, feeling the coarse hairs on the back of the policeman’s fingers. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I was just explaining to your mum, we’ve alerted all of our units and have several teams out looking for … the child.’
‘Jack,’ Tony said, narrowing his eyes. Was Jack so unimportant, so routine, that the police officer couldn’t even remember his name? ‘His name is Jack.’
‘Is there anyone your wife could have left him with?’
‘I went through this on the phone already! No! Her mum lives in Western Australia, her best mate was at work. The only other person she’d leave him with is Mum, but obviously that’s not the case …’ He took a sharp breath as his mind scrabbled for something to cling to. ‘Maybe she left him at your place, Mum? She got there and you were gone so she left Jack with the neighbour or something. Let’s —’
‘I thought of that, Anthony. I’ve called your dad and Lisa, and they’re checking again, but I don’t think …’ Ursula’s voice quivered and trailed off. He stared at her. His mum never got upset about things. She never cried. Her voice never faltered.
‘Mum.’ He hunched over slightly and put his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes. If she gave up, then that was it. ‘It’s like you said, there’s a simple explanation for this, something so simple we’ve missed it.’
Ursula nodded at him. ‘I know, I know, Anthony.’ Her voice was quiet, unconvincing.
He rubbed his face and forced himself to think. Suddenly he knew what it was they’d missed. ‘Her car! Where’s her car? Jack must still be in the baby capsule!’
‘Mr Patton.’ Constable Pagonis put his hand out towards him.
‘Have you found it?’
‘I’m not sure …’
‘It must have been stolen. That’s why she’s like this, she’s in shock, she’s been attacked.’ He took a step towards the door. ‘Jack – they’ve got him, he was in the capsule. They would have abandoned it when they realised he was in it. It’s a black Corolla, put out a message on your radio …’
The dragging dread in his guts was replaced by a surge of purpose. He knew what he had to do: he needed to find Anna’s car and everything would be all right. Anna was safe now, and soon Jack would be too.
CHAPTER FOUR
That day
2.30 P.M.
Wendy leaned her elbows on the old wooden kitchen table. She held a cigarette in her right hand and, in between drags, bit the nails on her left hand.
She’d been at work, picking up wet towels from the bathroom floor of a hotel guest who was perfectly capable of picking them up himself, when Ursula called and spoke the words that she would never forget: Anna and Jack are missing. She’d shrieked. It was the type of call she had been expecting her entire life, not because Anna was flawed in any way, just the opposite: she had always known that her good luck in having a daughter as perfect as Anna couldn’t possibly last, and something was bound to go wrong one day. It was the way things worked in her life.
She quickly finished up, then sped along the winding road home, wiping away burning tears. She needed to get back to the house in case Anna had called. But when she unlocked the door of her fibro cottage and ran down to the kitchen in the old lean-to, there were no messages on the answering machine.
She stubbed out her cigarette in the overflowing ashtray, swearing as the ash crumbled over the edge of the frosted glass onto the scratched jarrah table. Suddenly the phone rang; she jumped and let out a breath.
She was already anticipating the sound of Anna’s cheerful laugh as she explained where she’d been, as she picked up the phone. ‘Hello?’
‘Wendy, it’s Tony.’
Her stomach dropped. ‘Oh. Hi, I thought —’
‘I know,’ Ton
y said and sighed. ‘Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, but I’m just leaving the hospital.’
‘The hospital? Oh Jesus, I knew it!’ She clenched her hand around the receiver to hold it steady. ‘What’s wrong? What’s happened?’
‘I don’t know … Anna’s there, in the hospital. They found her near the edge of a cliff. She’s got some cuts and bruises, she’s in shock or something. She won’t say anything. But …’
Wendy held her breath. But?
‘Jack’s still missing. They can’t find him.’
She froze as she heard the terror in Tony’s voice; her body and her thoughts stopped, and the world around her seemed to fall away.
‘What?’ she said faintly.
‘They can’t find him.’ Tony’s voice broke. ‘I just – just don’t understand what’s happened. I’m going to look for him now. We’re thinking maybe someone’s stolen the car, and didn’t realise he was in it …’
She couldn’t speak. She had never felt further away from her daughter’s life than she did right now. What could she do from the other side of the country? She might as well be in Africa as Western Australia. She should never have listened to Anna, she should have gone to Sydney as soon as Jack was born. Anna had said to wait until Jack was older and more interactive before she spent her money on flying over, and she hadn’t wanted to intrude, but now look what had happened.
‘Oh God,’ she said. Her thoughts jostled and scrambled. There was only one thing she could do: go to Sydney. ‘I’ll book a flight now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’
‘Let me know when you’ll get in. Sorry, but I have to go. Mum’s driving, I’ve got to make some calls.’
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, then heard the drone of the dial tone as Tony hung up. She dropped the receiver, laid her clammy palms flat on the table and inhaled deeply. She couldn’t let herself think about the worst-case scenario. She couldn’t let it overwhelm her; she had to take everything one step at a time and stay calm.
A moment later, she leapt to her feet, knocking her rickety chair onto the kitchen tiles with a clatter, and ran to her bedroom to start packing.