The Agent

by Ellen Lane

  Franklin chuckled, shaking his head slowly. “I love you too.”

  And with that, Russell was off. He merely hoped he still remembered how to ride.

  It had taken him twelve years to realize it, but he could never forget Amy. She would always be special to him - and she would always be in his heart. Even if he didn’t love her the way he loved Alice.

  But that didn’t mean there wasn’t ample room for Alice - if she would still have him.

  **

  Victoria was beautiful. She was one of the most beautiful things Alice had ever seen - and every time she looked down into her baby niece’s face, she remembered that life wasn’t over. She still had a family, still had a career, and still had the capacity to love.

  But oh, did it hurt.

  Why the hell did people give their hearts away if it hurt this much when they got broken? Alice had wanted so badly to be in love, but now she regretted flying into it so blindly.

  She wasn’t foolish enough to think the world was ending, but it certainly felt that way - to the point that she had a problem functioning. On Christmas day, she’d done her best to throw herself into festivities with her family. She had opened presents, eaten Christmas cake, and participated in drinking games until she all but passed out.

  But Alice hadn’t felt any real joy.

  All she could remember was the anger on Russell’s face when he told her she could never replace Amy.

  She couldn’t imagine that he would ever forgive her - which meant that working in him with LA would be one of the most difficult things she had ever done.

  But Alice had never been one to shy away from her own problems.

  Of course, when she told Michael, Rose and Elias what had happened since they last spoke, they were all ready to take up arms for her. Michael offered to go back to the Darwell estate and ‘rearrange his face’ while Elias called him a fucking, cowardly cur and threatened to compromise the structure of his family home.

  Alice turned both of them down and did her very best to keep a stiff upper lip. Of course, when Elias and Michael had finally gone to bed, she’d allowed Rose and Cat to comfort her as she cried her eyes out. If she had her way, she would never allow her brother to know how deeply Russell Darwell had hurt her.

  Even if she worried that he already knew.

  It was better to think about brighter things. Today was New Year’s Eve, and even if she felt a piece of her was missing, she could promise herself she’d do better in the new year. Alice could design more. She could spend more time with her family. She could take a week’s sabbatical - a whole seven days at a spa all by herself.

  Things would get better.

  “Are you alright, Alice?” She jumped slightly, holding baby Victoria protectively to her chest as Michael entered seemingly from nowhere. He was decked out quite festively for the holiday, in a deep navy sweater, dark slacks and smart shoes. He and Rose were going out, and she had volunteered to babysit. As long as she was concentrating on Victoria, she would have little time to remember just how much Russell had hurt her.

  “I’m fine.” She managed a small smile, even as Victoria started to fuss. “You two can go ahead and go. Don’t worry about me.”

  Michael frowned deeply, dropping onto the couch next to her. “You know that’s impossible.”

  Sighing, Alice lifted Victoria onto her shoulder, patting her back gently to quiet her. “Michael, really, I’m fine. It’s just one man.”

  Michael’s frown didn’t abate. “One idiotic man who didn’t deserve your love. I still think you should have let me break his face.”

  That drew a smile. “Right. Break the face of the queen’s grand-nephew. That’s a brilliant plan.”

  “I think it’s pretty top notch.” Rose poked her head in, making Alice laugh softly, even if her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. The blonde woman expelled a breath, her expression rife with worry.

  “Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

  “We’ll be fine.” Alice rebutted almost instantly. “We’ve got digestives, ice cream and girlie movies. We’re going to have a sleepover, right, Vicky?”

  In response, her niece burbled happily and Michael chuckled. “If you’re sure then.” Before he turned to leave, however, he pulled Alice into a tight, unexpected embrace. “You know I’m here if you want to talk. I’m always here.”

  That almost undid her.

  Somehow, Alice managed to suppress her tears. “I know.”

  Five minutes later. Michael and Rose were out the door, and Alice was left alone with her cooing bundle of joy.

  For the next half hour, she did all she could to keep herself busy. She fed Victoria minute amounts of ice cream, forced herself to laugh at rom coms and changed diapers needlessly - twice. It only took another fifteen minutes before Vicky started to nod, and Alice had to bite her lip to prevent a plea for the child to stay awake. When she put Vicky down, her penthouse apartment seemed strangely quiet. She’d given Tom the holiday to spend with his family, so she all she could do was go back to her romantic comedies, all the while telling herself how asinine they were. Real love, she realized, wasn’t like a fairy tale. It was much crueler, and happy endings were one in a thousand.

  When the doorbell rang, she merely groaned lowly. She could only imagine why Michael had come back this time. Though he was a brilliant father, he could be a bit overbearing. If he wasn’t calling, he was coming back to make sure she hadn’t forgotten something.

  Rising, she trudged to the door, yanking it open to confront her brother.

  And froze.

  It wasn’t Michael.

  In fact, it was the last person in the cosmos she expected to see on her doorstep at that moment.

  Russell was waterlogged from a combination of rain and sleet, and, as he stood there, Alice couldn’t help but think that he was the most gorgeous sight she had ever laid eyes on - even soaking wet.

  But why was he here? If he’d come to give her her things back, she could take them politely and go on with her night.

  He didn’t have a suitcase.

  Oh God, she wanted to run, faint and scream all at once. She could hardly breathe.

  And then, Vicky’s cry rang through the apartment.

  Immediately, Alice snapped back to the present. She took in Russell’s luscious form once more before flinging the door open. “I’ll be back.” With that, she turned on her heel, rushing towards Victoria’s nursery.

  The moment she arrived, she could see immediately why her niece was upset. This time, Victoria’s diaper was actually wet.

  “Oh shhh, shhh…” Alice’s heart was thundering even as she lifted the baby from her crib in preparation to change her. Though she had no problem going about her auntly duties, she hadn’t forgotten the man who was currently standing in her foyer.

  Once Victoria was changed, Alice rested her against her shoulder, rubbing her back slowly in an attempt to calm Vicky just as much as herself. What the hell was she supposed to say to Russell? What did he want?

  She only wished a few days was enough for her to forget how much she loved him - it wasn’t fair that the sight of him still made her knees weak. Trying to take deep breaths, she inhales Victoria’s soapy, powdery scent and, to her shock, found tears rising to her eyes. Not now, she couldn’t cry now.

  “You look as if you were made for doing that.”

  With a gasp, she whirled to see Russell standing in the doorway of the nursery. There was, Alice noticed, no trace of the anger or confusion that had been present on Christmas Eve. Instead, Russell was gazing at her almost reverently - in a way that filled her belly and heart with traitorous warmth.

  “Made for what?” When Vicky murmured sleepily against her chest, Alice began to rock her instinctively. The baby would almost certainly be asleep in another minute or two. Couldn’t Russell wait until then to devastate her again?

  “Holding a child. You’re absolutely beautiful, Alice.”

  The young woman drew in a shocked breat
h, even as her eyes filled anew. “Stop.” She whispered. “Please.”

  “Alice…” Russell took a step towards her and Alice took one back. Without another word, he held out the key to the motorcycle she’d bought him and a soft sob escaped her. He couldn’t do this to her. Not now, when he’d already told her she could never have his heart. “Alice, I’ve been such a damned fool. I know you may not want to hear what I have to say, but at least let me say it before you throw me out.”

  Alice could hardly get a word out, and when she did, her voice was hoarse with disbelief. “Speak.”

  To her utter shock, Russell dropped to his knees. “Alice, I was stuck in the past. I’ve been stuck in the past for as long as I can remember, and it’s always kept me from doing the right thing. I told you I didn’t want to replace Amy because I don’t want to replace her. I never loved her like I love you. No woman, besides you, has ever come close to showing me what kind of future I might have until you. I was too stubborn to do what came naturally. I kept questioning myself when the answer was right in front of me all along.”

  It was all Alice could do to keep to her feet. This was a dream. It had to be a dream. The Russell she knew would never say things like this. He couldn’t.

  “Alice, I’ve been a mess since you left. I told myself I was protecting you, so that the same fate that befell Amy wouldn’t happen to you. But I realize it’s not about her anymore. It hasn’t been about her for a long time. I’ve been...abominable to you...I know that. But I would be even more remiss if I didn’t try to make things right.”

  And then he pulled out the ring.

  Alice’s legs gave way beneath her, and she held Vicky to her tightly as she sank to her knees, tears flowing freely down her face. Oh God. Oh God.

  “I love you, Alice Tate. I’ve loved you since the day I met you, and, if you’ll have me, I’d like to love you for the rest of our lives.”

  Alice stared into his eyes, utterly speechless. Of all the times Russell had ever told her the things he wanted her to hear, he had never spoken so passionately. He had never looked at her as if she was the only thing in the world that existed.

  He’d never told her she looked beautiful with a baby in her arms.

  “I want forever, Russell.” She managed, unable to stop her tears. “I want forever, a family, babies...I want your trust...and I want you. Most of all, I just want you.”

  In an instant, she was in his arms. “You have me. Alice, I swear to you, I’m yours.”

  He held her both tenderly and gently, the baby cradled between them, and there was nothing Alice wanted more at that moment than to have Russell’s child with them - growing inside her, in her arms along with Vicky.

  “I love you, Russell.” By now, she was crying unabashedly, and she didn’t give a single whit.

  “I adore you, Alice...and I intend to show you exactly how much for every minute of every day.” And then he was kissing her - hard and long and gloriously, and Alice’s heart was, once more, whole again. He kissed her until Vicky started to fuss between them, at which point, he pulled back with a soft laugh before stroking the baby’s downy head softly.

  “She’s obviously upset because you haven’t said yes.” Before she could even protest, Russell had taken Vicky from her to cradle in one arm as he used his hands to slip the engagement ring he’d brought onto her finger.

  It was a perfect fit.

  “Yes.” Alice breathed, without hesitation - and she’d never been surer of anything in her life. All wounds heal, they both quickly figured out. The only thing capable of quenching grief was starting anew, with hearts unguarded and all trusting. Alice reminded Russell Darwell that he could love idealistically once again, the same kind of love he once knew as a younger man. He would never have to fake-smile in her presence or hide the smallest detail of his mind ever again. Where there was a willingness to forgive, even the nightmares of the past, there was always a chance for the heart to heal. At last, Alice and Russell allowed themselves to fall in love.

  THE END

  Thank You!

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  Ellen Lane