Life Is Short (No Pun Intended)

by Jennifer Arnold

  This field was compelling to Jen, and her goal was to be a part of leading simulation efforts at a major institution, and she had focused a lot of her academic efforts toward this field. She had studied at University of Pittsburgh’s WISER Institute, WISER being the acronym for the Peter M. Winter Institute for Simulation, Education, and Research. It was a world-class training and research facility renowned for its simulation training. I had become most familiar with Jen’s participation in simulation when she invited me to attend one of her training presentations, which she had conducted for more than thirty physicians from the tristate area. It was truly impressive to see her in action. She was like the conductor of an orchestra as she managed myriad simulated crises. The participants were shouting, doctors were sweating and unsure of themselves, and Sim babies were dying. If anyone in the room felt simulation was “too fake” to give it respect at the beginning, he or she certainly left with a different opinion. So I encouraged Jen to take the leap and explore other opportunities.

  Jen, as it turned out, was in high demand. When the people at Children’s Hospital–Pittsburgh heard she was considering options, they immediately contacted her and offered her more money to come back there, where she had done her residency and fellowship. She liked the idea of going back to Pittsburgh and returning to work with her fantastic colleagues there. Even though Pittsburgh could get exceptionally cold in the winter, I had started to really enjoy the city, too. Pittsburgh was a great city, and aside from the Steelers games I would undoubtedly have to sit through (no one was going to the Pirates games at that time), I would have moved there willingly. We could both imagine what our lives would be like there, and there was some comfort in that, again, Steelers games aside, of course.

  While Jen was considering this offer, though, she was approached by her former boss at Stony Brook, who was now at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. She received an offer to work there, and Philadelphia would still have us fairly close to Long Island. I was even more torn about this offer. The upsides were that I would be three to four hours away from my office, which meant I could go to work two or three days a week and work from home on the other days. I would also be close enough to Mom to be there in a pinch without much trouble. On the downside, it’s Philly, home of the Dirty Birds, and I am a die-hard Giants fan. So Philly was a less likely candidate. As Jen was deciding between these offers, an esteemed person at Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston contacted her unexpectedly about a position that seemed quite ideal. He was interested in hiring someone to run the new simulation center at Texas Children’s Hospital and provide clinical care in his neonatal intensive care unit. It was the perfect opportunity. I couldn’t even believe it when the words came out of my mouth, “Go for it, Jen. I’ll move to Texas.” She was nervous heading to Houston for the interviews, but as usual, she nailed it and received an offer before the four-interview process was even half-over.

  Jen gladly accepted the offer, triggering a new chapter for both of us in uncharted territory. Now, we were really moving all the way to Houston, Texas. We packed our stuff into a fifty-three-foot trailer, leaving behind a queen-size mattress, a nineteen-inch TV, an old dresser, my Infiniti coupe (and Jen’s ugly Kia Sportage, which somehow had survived the trip from Pittsburgh), and a few things for the kitchen. We were keeping the house, so I could go back and forth between Houston and Long Island during the week for my business. We wanted to sell it, but it was a slow housing market, so we were going to take our time.

  The hardest part was leaving Mom. She came over on the day of our flight to say good-bye. She had always had one of her sons living close by, so this would be the first time that all three of her boys would be at least a thousand miles away. I felt comforted knowing she wouldn’t be totally alone. She had been married to Chuck since 2000, and her brother also lived in the area. As for me, I would be back frequently for business, and I promised to make sure to see her every time I returned to Port Jefferson. Still, it was hard to say good-bye. Mom had sacrificed so much for me throughout her life, and I was devoted to her.

  After long hugs, they left, and Jen and I watched the truck pull away from our very first home. We then went to the airport, got on a plane for Houston, and moved right into our new apartment. I had no regrets. I was looking forward to our life together in a part of the world that neither of us had connections to. I loved that she was pursuing her career, and I had a feeling that Texas was going to work out.

  • • •

  JEN FELT RIGHT at home at Texas Children’s Hospital (TCH), one of the largest children’s hospitals with the largest NICU in the country. She was grateful to have found such a wonderful fit—she loved them, and they loved her. She arrived at TCH to blueprints and a construction hat. Texas Children’s hadn’t yet built the simulation center. The build-out was part of a larger project, adding multiple floors on the top of the building where Jennifer’s office now resides. Jennifer started as construction began. One of her responsibilities from the very outset of the new job was overseeing the construction of the simulation center, which included placement of cameras, observation and control rooms, and debriefing rooms in the Sim Center. She needed to assist in figuring out how rooms were to be configured, including things like placement of electrical outlets and ports for gas, where beds and incubators would go, location and access to supplies and equipment. All of that needed to be done in a way that mimicked a working hospital room to help facilitate effective simulation. Jen needed to do this while anticipating growth and expansion from the then-current applications to potential future uses of simulation to educate teams of people. She had a lot of work ahead of her. Her job was anything but simple. She was the new medical director of the Simulation Center. She also carried the title of assistant professor of neonatology, Department of Pediatrics. If her titles were big, the work ahead of her was even bigger.

  As for me, Michael—my business partner and mentor—and I had agreed to do our best to continue our work relationship and further the business, even though I had moved. Unfortunately, as time went on, it became apparent that a long-distance business relationship wouldn’t work out. My decision to pull out coincided with a down period in the business, which compounded my anxiety about the move to Houston. Then there was Mike, who felt abandoned and read my move to Texas as my not caring. But that wasn’t true. It was just too difficult to start up a life in Houston and still commute to Long Island for work.

  For a while, I didn’t take a paycheck, because I wanted him to do so. When we had first started out together, he made sure that I was taken care of. But I owed my start in sales to Michael, and I was grateful, so when I had a chance to reciprocate by forgoing a paycheck to make sure the business continued, I didn’t hesitate to do so. In the end, we decided to part ways but preserve our friendship.

  As for myself, I knew eventually I’d return to a business venture, but for now I’d just feel out the landscape and take time to think about what I wanted to do. Sometimes—as with Jen’s job offer to run the simulation center in Houston—a development comes along that can change your own expectations about what may be possible.

  The story about how we got our show on TLC is an interesting one. It began when we were still living in Port Jefferson, and Good Morning America (GMA) reached out to Little People of America in hopes of finding two women who were both short in stature and leading professional careers. LPA referred them to Jennifer and one other woman who had a career in entertainment. GMA then did a joint interview, asking both women about their careers and how they had gotten to where they were in their respective fields. GMA also showed a short video about each of their lives.

  At the very end of Jen’s segment, there was a scene with Jen and me at the kitchen table. The scene was supposed to have an interview with both Jen and me, but after it was edited, all that was left of me was a shot of me serving coffee at the table. Ha ha, GMA. The viewer could hear the reporter commenting to the anchorperson that Jen was getting married the following Apr
il to the attractive man serving her coffee (me). After the segment aired, Jen and I never thought any more about it. We never dreamed it would turn into something else.

  It wasn’t until a couple of months later that we received a call from LMNO Productions, Inc., a leading producer of network and cable reality shows. An executive producer there wanted to explore whether we would be interested in allowing them to follow our wedding story, from dress design and tux fittings all the way to the magical day. We turned them down, as we didn’t aspire to be on a television show. But they persevered, and a month or two later, the production company called us again and asked us if we would be willing to at least listen to their pitches. They thought our story, Jen’s and mine individually and now together as a couple, might make for an intriguing television program with a positive message.

  In a television world where so much reality TV is full of negative personal drama and extreme conflict, they wanted to produce an upbeat and true-to-life story. We laughed, thinking how absurd it was that they had such interest in us. Their vision for the show was inspiring, and we agreed to think about it some more. They kept calling us from time to time, with different pitches about how they would shoot a television show about our lives.

  For a long time, we resisted any serious consideration of a television show. Then something changed, and quite surprisingly, Jen and I both reached the same conclusion at approximately the same time. Jen had experienced a moment while shopping that gave her confidence that making this program might be the right thing to do. As she walked past a mother with two children in the cereal aisle of the grocery store, she overheard the youngest daughter make a comment about her. “Look, Mommy, that’s a Little Person like on Little People Big World.” Little People Big World was a reality TV show featuring a family of six—a little couple and their four children, one little and three average-size. Two boys were twins, and after they were done growing, one was almost six feet, the other four-foot-four. The show about the family and their life on an Oregon farm had been on the air since 2006.

  At the moment Jen heard the little girl “recognize” her, she realized Little People Big World had been doing a great job of breaking down barriers and educating people about vernacular and proper etiquette related to people with skeletal dysplasias. The child had an understanding of Jen’s condition as well as respect for Jen, because of the child’s exposure to skeletal dysplasia on the show.

  As for me, about that same time, my decision to participate in a television show came about entirely because of Jen. As I watched her doing all the wonderful things she does at work and proving to so many people that despite her stature, anything is possible, I reconsidered the show more seriously. If doing the show would in some small way highlight the achievements and sometimes failures of two people who were trying their best to succeed despite challenges, well, maybe that was worthwhile. After seeing Jen on Good Morning America and working in the simulation center, I began realizing how truly impressive her achievements were.

  What she does is incredible to me, and I felt that it might be worth taking a chance and seeing where this adventure would take us. We had defied many expectations before. Signing up for a television pilot that could highlight Jen as she inspires, educates, and saves lives, and does it with humility, competence, and compassion? I was in. A television show without me—just Jen—would be great, too, but I could provide my sexy mug as eye candy between serious situations.

  So after about a year of negotiating back and forth with the people at LMNO, we agreed on a vision for the show, how the story would be told, and the time that we could afford to set aside to produce the program. All of these questions were important, and we wanted our story to be authentic and real. We eventually signed a contract for a pilot episode.

  Of course, show biz is odd, and everything was new to us. We were recruited to tell our tale and share it with the world, and then we were told that we would be extremely lucky if the show ever made it past the pilot. With this kind of ambiguity and the great odds stacked against the show’s being on the air at all—let alone seeing any kind of success—we were shocked when the first season’s order came in.

  When it was picked up for the first season, we were told 99 percent of shows don’t make it to the second season. Yet, season after season has followed, defying everything that we were told was even remotely possible. We certainly never envisioned that the show would last as long as it has.

  I think it’s fair to say that for the most part, it’s been a very enjoyable experience, and we are thankful for all of the people we’ve worked with and encountered along the way. It holds great meaning for us to receive emails daily from viewers who love our story. We also really like meeting people who watch the show and enjoy it when they share their own stories with us.

  Doing the show has its ups and downs. There are personalities, technical aspects, notes, contracts, deadlines, questions, scheduling, and other challenges to deal with.

  While we strive for times when we can relax and we love a good beach vacation (well, Jen does, so I do, too, now), since the show began, our lives have been filled with unexpected left turns, challenges, and out-of-the-blue situations that give us insight. It turns out the drama that naturally occurs in our lives has made for years of inspiring, relatable, joyful, and sometimes tearful television. Just what the television doctor ordered.

  Even though Jen and I were doing the show, I still wanted to go into business for myself. Ever since selling off my interest in the consulting firm, I had needed to find something new to challenge me. I missed having my own business and was looking to do something interesting that I had never done before. I decided to step into the world of retail sales—specifically, pet products retail. I opened a twenty-three-hundred-square-foot brick and mortar pet store. Our niche was that we sold a lot of products not commonly found in the big-box stores. We would carry organic foods, high-quality apparel, and one of the largest collar and leash collections in all of Houston. It was in the heart of Rice Village, next to Rice University, and I chose to name it Rocky and Maggie’s, after our two dogs, Rocky the Chihuahua, and Maggie the terrier-mutt rescue. Since Jen was the professional shopper, I often looked to her for opinions relating to the store’s style, our products, and everything else. I brought my mother-in-law, Judy, on board, too, as she and my father-in-law had moved to Houston to be near us. Judy helped me to open the shop and staff it. She became the store manager and took on the day-to-day management of the shop while I handled the sexy jobs like accounting, purchasing, product development exploration, and marketing. I was pleasantly surprised to see how well the shop did. We opened our doors on February 3, 2012, and grew the business every month. Today, we serve many dog and cat owners and are continuing to grow and expand.

  We also decided to build our dream house. We found the perfect location in the city limits, not too far from the medical center. We hired a builder and worked with him and his architect to start drawing up our plans for a customized home. We started by taking down the existing house. Since many of the existing houses in the neighborhood were more than sixty years old, it was common to tear down an old house and build a new one in its place. We wanted to build a home that had enough room for us, a future family of one or two children, space in the garage for a car or two, and maybe even a den to watch movies in. And, just as important, we wanted to incorporate some changes that would make things easier for us to reach. For thirty-five-plus years, Jen and I had scaled counters, climbed on stools, and used grabbers to reach things that were otherwise out of reach. This was our chance to make things easier, at least at home.

  This was exhilarating, but at the same time quite overwhelming when we really got into the process. With Jen’s job demanding a lot of her time and my new business just getting off the ground, it was sometimes very stressful. But as things began to take shape, it seemed worth the stress and aggravation. The coastal craftsman-style home was right up Jen’s alley. Since Jen couldn’t work on the beach
, we brought the beach to Jen. Inside the house, the kitchen and bath featured a lot of customization to make life a bit easier. The kitchen counters in the work area were lowered, as were the cupboards. Whereas before Jennifer had to climb up onto a counter to get a glass, now she could reach the glassware without a stool. The dining island in the kitchen was a standard height to accommodate guests, while the stovetop and sink were lowered to a safer and more comfortable level for us to cook and clean up afterward. In one of the two bathrooms we lowered sinks to make hand washing a simple task. The other was left at average height for guests. And our windows were installed on the lower side of average so we could actually enjoy looking out of them.

  The house took nearly two years to be completed, and our move-in day couldn’t come soon enough. Literally. We had been in a rental most of the time, but as a favor to the neighbor, we terminated our lease just in time for their cousins, who were moving into town, to move right in. We had expected to move weeks, if not a month or two, earlier than this lease expiration date, but that wound up not being the case. Delays prevented us from moving into the house on time, and since we didn’t want to go back on our commitment to make the rental house available, we vacated the rental without a new home to go to.

  We moved all of our possessions into the garage of our still-under-construction home, covered everything in plastic, packed up Jen’s SUV with only the essentials, and went to Galveston for what we thought would only be a short-term rental. We found a place on the beach, and instead of getting angry that our house was taking so long, we made this tough time into a vacation. We contacted Jen’s parents and invited them to join us in Galveston. Four days later, they arrived at the beach, and our beach vacation was in full swing.

  Two weeks in Galveston still wasn’t long enough for the house to be ready, as delays pushed it back another month, but when we finally moved in, we had our perfect home to live in as a family.