Sometime Soon

by Doxer, Debra

  “What happened to your closing?” I ask

  “That’s still happening, but the concert doesn’t start until nine, so I’ll be able to make it. We should probably meet around eight-thirty or so.”

  “Meet?” I ask.

  “Yeah. We could meet right outside the entrance. Do you know where it is?”

  “Yes,” I answer hesitantly, unable to staunch my exasperation. The fact is, if he was going to drive there, he’d have to go right by my house. Actually, if I took the train, we’d be riding the same rail line there. Of course, I wouldn’t take the T because I don’t want to come home late at night by myself on the train. Since there’s no parking at my local stop, that also means walking home from the station. I could drive to another stop that has parking, I suppose, but why can’t he just drive in? It couldn’t be easier to do. The Pavilion has a huge free parking lot for concert goers. I’m debating whether or not to say anything when he continues with his plans.

  “And afterwards we could go to this bakery I heard about and get some dessert.”

  “David,” I begin, “how about driving in?”

  “What?” he asks.

  “Well, I live right on your way to The Pavilion, and they have plenty of free parking there. So, why don’t we just drive?”

  “Oh,” he says, sounding surprised. “Isn’t the train easier?”

  “No. Not for me.”

  “Oh,” he repeats. I can tell that I’ve thrown him with this driving concept. “Well, you could go ahead and drive in,” he suggests.

  I roll my eyes, watching as Tiger jumps into the kitchen sink, bends his head down below the kitchen faucet and begins to lap at the drips. “Actually, I can’t get into that lot without a concert ticket to show them.”

  “Well, maybe I could get the ticket to you before Friday.”

  I sigh, losing patience. “Wouldn’t it just be easier for you to drive? I know the way. I can direct you.” I suppose I could offer to pick him up and drive, but it’s out of my way to do that, and I don’t really want to offer to drive.

  “Well, why can’t you take the train?” he asks.

  Now I’m getting angry. “Because there is no parking at the station near me and I would either have to drive to another station hoping to find a spot or walk home alone from the station nearby.”

  “Well, how far is it from your station? Could you take a cab?”

  I sigh and roll my eyes at no one again.

  I hear him breathe into the phone. I listen, saying nothing; not sure what to say at this point. Finally, he speaks again. “Look, if I put the ticket in the mail today, you should get it by Friday.”

  I don’t know why I can’t just let this go. “David, you do have a car, right?”

  “Right,” he answers hesitantly.

  “How are you ever going to learn your way around the city if you never drive it? I promise you, it’s a very quick and easy ride from my house. Boston roads can be scary. I completely understand your reluctance. But how about giving it try?”

  “I’m not scared to drive,” he stutters.

  Oops. “I’m not saying you’re scared.”

  “That’s what you implied.”

  “Um, well, I’m sorry if I implied that.” I’m backpedaling now.

  “You didn’t mind driving yourself into Boston the last time we went out.”

  “Well, actually, it did occur to me that it would have been nice to have been picked up at my house. When someone asks me out, picking me up and driving me there is usually part of it.”

  He makes some noise into the phone that could be laughing but comes out more like a harsh bark. “That’s why you’re still single,” he says. “When I first saw you, I wondered why you didn’t have a husband or a boyfriend, but now it’s pretty clear.”

  “What?” I sputter.

  “Well, you own your own home and you have as good a job as I do, and yet you want to be completely catered to and waited on. Well, you can’t have it both ways.”

  “Huh?” I mumble. I can’t form a coherent response. I’m completely taken aback. My total appall is rendering me speechless.

  It’s silent from his end now, too. But he’s still there. I can hear him breathing. I’m just about to hang up when he finally breaks the strained silence. “Look,” he begins, his voice calmer now. “Let’s just meet there, okay?”

  Now I’m the one barking out a laugh. “No,” I say. “I don’t think so.” Then I hang up the phone and throw it onto the couch--feeling the need to get that conversation as far away from me as possible.

  I don’t know how long I stand there staring at my phone lying sideways on the cushion. Will he call back? Surely not. My throat starts to feel tight and the tears begin to brim, blurring my vision. No one has ever said anything like to me before. The men I’m meeting are just getting worse and worse. This was the worst one yet. I’m never dating again. This is just too much.

  Feeling violated somehow, I wipe away my tears and finish cleaning the kitchen. Then I change out of my work clothes and into sweats and a T-shirt. Next I search the kitchen for sweets, finding none, finding nearly nothing in fact, I settle on the couch with Tiger and my phone, trying to calm myself a bit more before calling Laura. When I open the phone and see David’s number listed under recent calls, I start deleting all evidence of him in my phone. I wanted to rid myself of him completely.

  When my phone rings in my hand, I startle, causing Tiger to leap off my lap and the phone to fall from my hand. What if it’s David again? I pick it up and cautiously peer at the caller ID. To my relief it’s Katie.

  “Hey,” I say, looking forward to hearing a friendly voice.

  “Is this Andy?” an unfamiliar woman’s voice asks.

  “Yes.”

  “This is Katie’s mother. I wanted to let you know that Katie got your messages, but she isn’t really up to talking right now.”

  I sit up straighter. “Why? What’s going on? Is the baby okay?”

  “Everything is fine with the baby.”

  “Thank goodness,” I sigh with relief.

  “Wait a minute Andy, Katie is here now. She says she’ll talk to you. Hold on one minute.”

  I wait, wondering what’s happened.

  “Andy?” Katie’s voice comes on the line.

  “Hi. What’s going on?”

  She clears her throat and coughs. “It’s Mike.”

  “What about him?”

  “I found out that he’s seeing someone else.”

  “Someone else?” Not Bryn, I think. It can’t be.

  “He told me so himself after his new girlfriend answered his phone. They’re living together.”

  “New girlfriend?”

  She sniffles.

  “Who is she?” I ask.

  “I don’t know.” She sniffles again and then she blows her nose. “He must have been with her when he was with me. You don’t just move in with someone else so quickly. And it’s not Bryn. I know that much.”

  I can’t believe it. Mike has been juggling three women at one time, if you count Bryn. This is Katie’s worst case scenario. Her husband’s cheating is what broke up her marriage. “I’m so sorry,” I say lamely.

  “I’m really going to be alone,” she whispers. “I’m going to be a single parent. I can’t believe it.”

  I can hear the complete terror in her voice. I want to say something comforting. “It seems like your folks are being supportive.” I offer.

  “They are. They’re being great. Of course, my dad wants to hunt Mike down and kill him.”

  “There’s no question of him paying you some kind of support, is there?”

  “Oh god. I haven’t even thought about that.” She starts crying in earnest now. Her mother comes back on the line. “We’re going to hang up now, Andy. Katie appreciates your calling.”

  “Please tell her that I’m here if she needs anything.”

  “Thank you. I will.”

  I sit in my living room and watch out my
window as the sun sets. Sensing my mood, Tiger curls up on the couch beside me, keeping me silent company.

  I finally call Laura just after nine, hoping that any wedding invitation shopping is finished for the night.

  “We didn’t go tonight,” Laura tells me after answering. “But we’ve got appointments every other night this week. Hey, did David call you yet?”

  With that, I relate to her the fateful conversation with David, surprised to find myself getting choked up again at the retelling.

  “I can’t believe he said that,” she repeats for about the fourth time, referring to the ‘wanting to have it both ways’ and ‘now I know why you’re still single’ comments.

  “Do you think I made too much of the driving?” I ask her, second guessing everything I said to David.

  “No,” she says firmly. “Even if you had, he had no business saying those things to you. He was way out of line. I’m so sorry, Andy. This is all my fault. I had no idea that such a jerk was hiding inside such a seemingly polite and normal guy. Next time I’ll do better.”

  “You think there’s going to be a next time?” I ask incredulously.

  “Hey, don’t judge my matchmaking skills by one loser.”

  “He’s the only person you’ve ever matched me up with. Besides, I’m done dating. I’ve had enough.”

  “Don’t start that again,” Laura warns.

  “Hey, if I needed more evidence to show me that it just isn’t worth it, Katie called in tears tonight.”

  “Why?”

  “She found out that Mike is living with his new girlfriend.”

  “What?” Laura exclaims. “You mean Bryn?”

  “Not Bryn. Someone else. Katie thinks that he must have been seeing this woman for a while.”

  “Wow. That’s awful. This can’t be a complete surprise to Katie though.”

  “I’m pretty sure it was,” I say. “I know you think that somehow Katie is unconsciously seeking out jerks because of some insecurities of her own. But those jerks should not be so easy to find!”

  To my surprise, Laura starts to laugh.

  “I’m serious.”

  “I know. I know,” she replies, a smile in her voice. “But you can’t be so pessimistic because of what Mike did to Katie. He is not someone you would have ever given the time of day to. And David is my fault. So, you can count him out, too. There are good ones out there. I found Jonathan.”

  “Hmm,” I grumble, noncommittally.

  “I am really sorry for Katie."

  “She’ll be fine. She’s probably better off without him.”

  “I can’t argue with that.”

  “Anyway,” I yawn loudly, not bothering to cover the phone. “It’s been a long day. I’m going to bed.”

  “Don’t worry, Andy. Your time is coming.”

  “Goodnight Laura.”

  twenty-four

  I wake up the next morning wondering if I’d imagined those phone calls from last night, but knowing I haven’t. It feels good to go through my morning routine, stopping for my large coffee on the way to work, and even seeing Joan’s placid face as I walk past and she calls out “early today” which I am. I haven’t slept very well; therefore I’ve gotten an early start this morning, eager to get out of the house.

  The office is quiet as I get settled at my desk and boot up my computer. I check my personal email after skimming my work emails and see that I have a message from Karthik. My heart immediately starts to race. I click it open only to see a brief note asking me to call him. I write down the number, grab my purse, go downstairs and outside to the sidewalk. He picks up on the second ring.

  “We’re ready to make you an offer,” he tells me.

  “Really?”

  “So, you’re interested?” he asks.

  “I am,” I reply, purposely calming down. Sounding too eager wouldn’t be good.

  “I know you put down what you’re currently making on the job application, and we’ve got your references. You’ve been made aware of the benefits?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. We can bring you in here with a three percent bump in your salary. How would that be?”

  “Well,” I begin, trying to play it cool, “BTS hasn’t given me a raise in some time. I think I’m very underpaid right now. I would really need to be making more money.” I take a breath.

  “Well, here’s what we’re prepared to do.” Then he adds about twelve grand to amount we started at.

  “That’s as far as they’ll go?” I ask calmly, even though I’m thrilled.

  “Yes,” he says. “Don’t forget, there will be a stock package, too.”

  “That could work for me then,” I answer evenly in spite of my accelerating heart rate.

  “If we can get the written offer to you by the end of this week, you could give your notice by Friday and start here two weeks later.”

  “Thank you Karthik,” I tell him sincerely. “This is a great opportunity, and I really appreciate it.”

  “You’ve earned it,” he replies.

  Rather than going back to my desk I call Mom, and then I call Laura, and I give them both the news. Then I catch my dad on the golf course, and I tell him, too. After swearing about hitting a slice into trees, he tells me he’s proud of me.

  I’m giddy now as the horrible feelings of the previous evening are almost completely erased by today’s events. I still feel too restless with excitement to go back to my desk, and I consider calling Bryn to meet me at Starbucks. But then I think of Mike and his new living arrangement, and I know I don’t want to discuss that with Bryn today.

  It’s a bright, crisp fall afternoon, and I decide to take a walk. I stroll through the park, past the mall, and over to the river. It’s too early for the leaves to be changing, but it isn’t too early for the college students to invade Cambridge. Crew teams are practicing on the Charles River, and I listen to the calls and watched their oars slice through the calm water.

  My professional life is going gangbusters, and my personal life is going nowhere. But this is pretty much the status quo for me. And maybe there’s nothing wrong with that. I just have to learn to be satisfied with what I have. Maybe the universe is telling me something. Not everyone is meant to be married. The effort I put into my career is paying off nicely, but that same effort, when applied to my personal relationships, has produced absolutely nothing. Well, maybe not nothing. I hope I’m learning from my experiences. But what am I learning? That I don’t want to date ever again? Perhaps that isn’t the best lesson to take away here. I know that Laura wants me to learn to be less critical, but I don’t think I am too critical. I can’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat me well. I can’t compromise on respect and honesty. If the right person ever does come along, I hope I’ll recognize him, and he’ll recognize me, and all the other stuff will just fall into place.

  As I watch the college students grunt and pull on their oars, I think how they have their whole lives ahead of them, with all the possibilities. In a way, I envy them, but I also know that I don’t want to go back to that stage of my life. I’m in a good place now. I’ve accomplished a great deal in the last decade or so. I can be satisfied with that, even if those around me cannot.

  twenty-five

  When the doorbell rings just after seven that night, I’m startled. I’m not expecting anyone. Tiger, the brave little guy that he isn’t, leaps off my lap and dashes upstairs. I’ve just finished a dinner of potato chips and soda since I was too keyed up from my day to remember that I have no food in my house. Since I haven’t invited anyone over, it has to be either someone trying to sell me something or a neighbor wanting to borrow something. I don’t often speak to my neighbors. All the people in my development work all day and then keep to themselves in the evenings and on weekends, but when I do interact with them, I’m generally sorry. I’m still waiting for my air pump and my hammer to be returned.

  I couldn’t be more surprised when I pull open the door and see Wes standing there
. His dark shock of hair is gelled up, sticking in various directions, and his long skinny arms hang limply by his side. He slouches on my doorstep, dressed in an olive sweatshirt and jeans, regarding me with wary eyes. He has a heavy duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “Is Ryan here?” he asks.

  I’m so shocked to see him it takes a minute to register the question and answer it. “No,” I reply, wondering why in the world he’s looking for Ryan here.

  His disappointment is immediate, and he seems to sink into himself, slouching even more if that’s possible.

  “Okay. Sorry to bother you,” he mumbles, starting to move away.

  “Hold on.” I step outside. He stands in a half turn, waiting for me to say something. I glance over his head, trying to see if there is a car in the driveway or anyone else here with him. I spot neither. “Why are you looking for Ryan here?”

  “You’re his girlfriend, right? He’s not at home, so I thought he might be here.”

  “No, actually. I’m not his girlfriend. I haven’t talked to Ryan in awhile.”

  He smirks, chuckling softly, and shakes his head. “Figures.”

  I’m taken aback by his response. “Did you try calling him?”

  “Yeah. That did occur to me before I took two buses and a train to get here.”

  I narrow my eyes at him, but don’t comment on his sarcasm. “Was Ryan expecting you?”

  “Yeah. He probably just forgot or something. He’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached to his neck.”

  I take stock of the duffle bag and his haggard, pale complexion. “Do you want to come in? You could try calling him again from here.”

  He peers past me through the open door behind me, and seems to be deciding. After a few silent beats, he answers, “Well, maybe just for a minute.” Then he follows me inside, his duffle bag scraping against the doorframe as he passes through it. “You have a cat,” he says.

  Sure enough, there’s Tiger sitting on the bottom step staring up at us. “His name is Tiger.”

  Wes smiles. “He actually does look like a miniature Tiger.”