Not thinking that I could eat another bite, the waiter brings out our dessert. This man knows me and I want him to have my babies. Just kiddin’. No, but really, Jackson Kavanaugh knows a way to this woman’s heart…Banana Fosters with rich vanilla ice cream. But wouldn’t you know, his came with sherbet. I just wish my fit and flare dress wasn’t so fit. I’m about to bust.
We sit and finish our bottle of wine. Usually one glass is enough, but two and half glasses has made me a little fuzzy. Jackson helps me to my feet and I stagger back a little. Giving a slight chuckle, he holds me by the waist with one arm and holds my hand. As he leads me to the dance floor, I try to figure out how this is going to work. Cocktails and three inch heels are not a great combination. He turns me so that I am facing him, still holding me firmly by the waist so that we move in synch. I close my eyes, resting my head on his shoulder; I let his body guide mine. He kisses the top of my head and we continue to sway silently in the night.
*
After about thirty minutes of dancing and complete silence, he pulls me away from him. “Grace, you’re making me reevaluate everything. Like my note said, you make me hopeful for more. Thank you for being with me tonight.”
The only way that I could answer was with a soft kiss. It was now my turn to lead him to the elevator…then the room…and finally to bed. We made love until we fell asleep in each other arms.
*
Morning has brought a distinct shift in Jackson’s demeanor. Instead of holding my hand, he keeps them both tightly on the wheel. I find that I am shifting my body closer to the door, away from a body that once gave me warmth.
“I want to thank you for this weekend. Never have I had someone be as thoughtful and caring as you, planning a perfect night with all the perfect things.”
Smiling hesitantly, Jackson glances at me and says, “You’re welcome.”
“Did I do anything to upset you?” I ask curiously.
Quickly glancing my way, I see him take a deep breath. “No, just thinking about my week ahead. I’m sorry. I get in a zone and just…zone out.”
“Just making sure.” I continue gazing out my windows. Ominous clouds partially shield a view of the sun, giving a feeling that something more than a storm is on the horizon.
We pull up in front of his house and as always, he comes around and opens my door, helping me out. He reaches behind the seat and retrieves my belongings. We start making our way down to my apartment as drops of rain start to fall.
“Would you like to come over tonight and let me make you one last decent meal before you start back to work?”
Jackson runs his hand behind his neck, shifting uncomfortably. “No thank you. I’m exhausted and need to get some things squared away before tomorrow morning.”
He leans down and places a chaste kiss on my cheek.
Hmm.
“When can I expect to see you again?”
Looking beyond me, he answers, “I have no clue. Like you said the other day, we’re going to have to take it one day at a time.”
Reaching up to my tippy toes, I place a direct kiss on his pursed lips. Relaxing a little, he cups my face in his hands while kissing me like there’ll be no tomorrow, making me wonder if there will be a tomorrow.
As I come into the house, I decide to quickly check my email while I boil water for a cup of tea. There’s an email from Rory with our confirmed schedule that she has sent out to all the potential runners, one from my new principal on the time line of events and meetings for when we start back, and one from Evan. My finger pauses on the delete button but I decide to open it. Evan goes on and on about how sorry he is about our last conversation. He says that he would like to take me out to lunch to apologize. He never meant to hurt me and he truly does love me. Delete.
Looking around the house, I notice that I’ve really neglected my chores. There is a putrid smell coming from the trash. I need to get that sucker out of here quick.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jackson
Leaving Grace is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. Of course I wanted to come back over for dinner, but since I’ve spent so much time with Grace this week I haven’t had the chance to get my shit in order. I hope Ben picked up my dry cleaning when he picked up his.
As I walk in the door, Thor barrels right into me, knocking me a step back. Poor guy, usually I spend the whole day before the beginning of duty with him. In his mouth is his leash. I can’t ignore my boy so off we go.
Where do you think he leads me? You guessed it…Grace’s door. And what does he do? He lies down in front of it, not wanting to move. I thought we were going to spend “man time” together but nooooo.
Bending down to move his big ass, Grace’s door suddenly opens. Walking backwards while juggling a garbage bag and her door, Grace falls backwards toppling over us. Her high pitched scream frightens Thor, who then jumps up taking me with him. I try to stop myself but end up falling on her with my elbow smacking her in the eye. Great.
I quickly roll off of Grace and turn immediately back to her. She is spread eagle, flat on her back, clutching her eye with garbage strewn around her. Thor, obviously feeling remorseful, starts licking her in the face. Through tears, Grace starts laughing uncontrollably. I come up from behind and lift her up from under her arms. Still clutching her eye, I begin picking grass and trash from her hair. Bringing her back inside her house, I sit her on the couch while I search for something to clean up the scrapes on both of her elbows. Thor takes the down doggie approach at her feet. He knows that he’s in deep shit.
Remembering seeing a first aid kit with her teaching supplies, I run upstairs to get it. On my way down, I notice she’s not where I left her.
“Grace,” I say searching around for her.
“I’m in the bathroom.”
Rounding the corner, I see Thor overseeing Grace’s care as she holds a cloth to her eye. He genuinely looks worried. He should. Shooing Thor out of the way, I take over his duties. I gently sit her down on the toilet so I can assess her injuries.
“Jackson, I can do this. You need to be at home, getting ready for work.”
“My dog created this mess. I’m going to clean it up.”
She starts sobbing, “I’m a freakin’ klutz and I’m going to get you fired.”
Lifting her chin so that we meet eye to eye, “What are you talking about? You’re not going to get me fired.”
The flood gates open up. “You’re too much of a gentleman to leave me and you’re not going to have time to get ready and you are going to be late for work and they’re going to throw you in the brig,” she rambles.
Smoothing back her hair from her face, I say, “Shhhh. I think you’re hurt and overly tired. Let’s get you upstairs in a bath, dress your wounds, and then get you into bed.”
“But I’m hungry,” she cries.
Trying not to laugh, I gently start carrying her upstairs. She places her head resignedly on my shoulder. I can feel her drops of tears soaking into my shirt. Making our way to her bathroom, I breathe a sigh of relief that she starts to calm. When I sit her down, she starts to undress. Setting the bath water to the perfect temperature, I start helping her.
“Grace, once I help you into the bath I am going downstairs to make you something to eat. What would you like?”
“May I have a PB&J with a cup of tea?”
“Of course.”
Giving her a soft kiss, I set off to make her the best damn Peanut Butter and Jelly she has ever tasted. As I make my way to the kitchen, Thor quickly hides his head between his paws. He knows his ass is grass. Her phone rings and I notice the JT song that plagued us a week ago. Remembering her reaction to that call and also remembering that she changed her number, I decide to answer it.
“Hello.”
Silence.
“Hello?”
Silence.
“Whoever this is, it would be in your best interest to never call this number again.”
Then I hear a click.
Before I set the phone back down, I pull up her call log and make note of his name and number. I also jot down Nate’s number. Just in case. I head back up to get Grace situated before I have to leave. I feel guilty that I can’t stay with her but I have no other choice.
*
Today’s Friday, the day we receive recruits. It’s one of the most grueling days we have. This is when we take a bunch of slimy civilians and turn them into a tight-knit platoon. In thirteen weeks, if all goes well, they’ll graduate and earn the title of Marine. For right now, it’s non-stop yelling on my part while the recruits try not to piss their pants. Some are standing in shock because their brains can’t process the chaos of the moment. Others are scrambling like ants that have just had their hill demolished, executing orders.
Ben, Logan, and I always stay on a twenty-four hour shift the first three days. The goal is to keep shit to a minimum so we can ward off any problems before they arise. With Grace’s schedule and mine, we haven’t had the opportunity to see each other since Sunday. I take that back, I did receive a text from her with a picture that shows a nice shiner while she pouts. I was rewarded later with a picture of her, her nice shiner, and her gorgeous smile holding the bouquet of flowers I sent from me and Thor. God, I miss her. I don’t know how I’m going to make it twelve more weeks.
*
We’re now halfway through this cycle. Things are coming along okay at work, however at home, it’s a different situation. This platoon has been a challenge. On the nights I’m not staying round the clock, I’m not getting home until past ten. I try to spend time with Grace, but she is also exhausted with teaching, grading papers and fulfilling her athletic duties. We struggle to keep our eyes open past ten thirty. I’m starting to doubt if things can work and I can see Grace battling the same emotions. The only difference is that she’s doing a better job at hiding hers.
As we take Thor for his final walk of the evening I ask, “Do you have any plans for the weekend?”
“Well, since you have duty all of Saturday and into Sunday, I thought I would go to L.A. and see Nate. A friend of his asked him if the band would play a couple of songs at a new club opening up.”
“Really,” I say flatly.
“I plan on going up tomorrow after school and coming back late Sunday. I still have some things that I need to get from the house so this would give me the opportunity to do so.”
“So, you’re going to stay in the house with him and his friends?”
Stopping abruptly, she turns to me with a look of annoyance. “Yes.”
Glaring back at her I ask, “Are you going to sing with him?”
“He’s asked me to but I haven’t decided. Why?”
Turning back sharply towards the house I answer, “Just wanting to know.”
Reaching out, Grace grabs my upper arm and turns me to face her. “What’s the problem?”
Looking down, I try to control my anger. “Oh nothing. My girlfriend is going to L.A. to stay in a house with a bunch of guys then sing at a club where horny guys can ogle and undress her with their eyes. Na, no problem at all.”
“Jackson,” she says as she backs away. “Where did all of this come from? You’re working most of the weekend. My best friend asked me to come up and I’m going.”
I throw my hands in the air, “So, that’s it. You’re going. You don’t care what I think?”
“What you’re thinking is nonsense. Again, I don’t know where this is all coming from but you know that you have no reason to worry.”
“Really? You really think it’s normal for a girl to spend the weekend hanging out with a bunch of guys when she has a boyfriend?” I fire back.
Grace starts walking away from me. “I think I need to go home. We are both tired and just need to call it a day. I have busted my ass all day and don’t feel like getting into it with you. You knew about my friends before we started dating.”
Now I’m really pissed. “You’ve busted your ass? Whatever. Friends? Are you that naive? What guy would want to be just a friend with you?”
Grace turns around and walks back up to me. “And what does that mean?”
“I can’t do this anymore.” I grab Thor and head back to my own house. “I don’t need this bullshit.”
I hear Grace calling my name, telling me to come back.
I just need to get away. I’m so pissed right now; I’m going to have a stroke.
I walk into the house slamming the door behind me. “I’m going down to Moon Doggies to get a drink. You wanna come?”
“Sure, why not,” Ben answers rather quickly.
*
The sign that greets us state that tonight is open mic night. These are always entertaining. You have one or two that are just lousy whereas most that come out are really talented. We take a seat back from the stage due to the outside patio being crowded. While ordering our first round of shots, random girls walk by in their barely nothing outfit seeking our attention. I’m not in the mood. I’m wiped, my voice is wiped from the constant shouting of orders, and I’m starting to feel a little guilty about the little tiff I had with Grace. Maybe downing a couple of smooth shots will be the cure. The halfway mark of the cycle is when exhaustion starts to creep in. I didn’t mean to take it out on her. I’m kicking my tail as I replay tonight’s event. Ben is sitting silently beside me, taking long draws on his beer. I don’t think he has ever seen me that mad.
About an hour later, I’m ready to call it a night. I’m finally settled and really need to talk to Grace. As I call the waitress to settle our tab, I notice Grace nursing what appears to a watered down drink at the bar. I see her wipe away a stray tear. When I start to get up, a busty brunette blocks my path.
“Hey hot stuff. My name is Andy. You wanna buy me a drink?”
“I’m sorry. I was just getting ready to leave.”
Throwing her arms around my neck and shoving her fake boobs in my face she says, “Come on baby. Just one drink. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”
Trying to unleash her grasp, she pulls me in for a sloppy kiss while grabbing my crotch. Just as soon as I pull back, I see Grace glaring at me. Grace throws money on the bar and runs out. I struggle to get this bitch off of me to go after her. Finally Ben helps me pry her arm off my neck but it’s too late. As I run to the parking lot, I see that she has already left.
Ben follows me after settling our tab. Not trusting me to drive home, he takes my keys and I let him, tail tucked between my legs like a lost puppy. I try to call Grace but her phone goes straight to voicemail, indicating she has turned it off.
“What the hell happened between you two?”
“I fucked up man. I really fucked up,” I say exasperatedly.
All the way home, I am running over tonight’s events in my mind. I have royally screwed up and I need to make it right. Before Ben can park the truck, I jump out and run down to her house. Pushing the door bell, I get no answer. I try knocking and nothing.
“Grace, I know you’re in there. Open the door; I need to talk to you.”
Still nothing. I go around back and of course, her back gate is unlocked. I travel through the gate and notice that her blinds are closed. I knock on the glass panes and nothing. Seeing a shadow pass by, I knock harder.
“Grace, open this damn door or I will fuckin’ knock it down.”
“Go away,” she screams back. “I just can’t do this anymore,” she says in a mocking tone.
“Grace, I didn’t mean it.”
Reaching for the knob, my suspicion of it being unlocked proves true. I walk in as Grace is about to head of up the stairs.
Stalking towards me she starts to yell, “What gives you the right to just walk in my house? Get. Out!”
“You’re going to listen to me.”
“Um, no.”
“Grace, I’m sorry about tonight.”
“If that’s sorry, then I don’t know what to think about you,” she says as she crosses her arms over her chest.
<
br /> “Grace, what you saw back there is not what you think,” I say pleading for her to just listen to me.
“Do you remember when you said that you would never let me down?” Grace turns around and starts walking up the stairs. She looks back down towards me, “You know, I just don’t have time for this.”
Throwing my words back at me was like an arrow shot through my heart. Following her I continue, “I didn’t mean it and that girl came on to me.”
Grace makes a run for it and shuts her bedroom door in my face, locking it.
“Come on Grace,” I plead even harder.
“You can lock up when you decide to leave.”
Knowing that I’m not going to get too far tonight, I do as she says. As I turn the lock, I slam the door behind me. “I’ve fucked up royally!”
Walking back into the house, I see a bottle of Jack. He’s the only one that will help me sleep tonight.
*
Three thirty a.m. comes too soon. Usually I take Thor for a run but I don’t think my head will allow me. It feels as if Forrest Gump is playing ping pong on my brain while dancing to “Sweet Home Alabama”. My tongue feels as if it has been skinned and dipped in a vat of salty vinegar. Fuck me! Argh, I just remembered that today we continue with pugil sticks. Fuck me twice!
The day goes by as expected – it sucked ass. On our last hump of the day, I notice two recruits playing with a lizard. One of the recruits flings it up in the air, killing it on impact. Pisses me off!
“What in hell did you freakin’ maggots do?”
Walking over, I find that indeed the lizard is dead. I am beyond pissed. “Pick up the freakin’ lizard and get your sorry carcasses back to the barracks now.”
The platoon double times it back to the barracks. Leaving the rest of the platoon with Ben to go to chow, I take the two meat heads to gather their e-tools. Taking them back behind the barracks, I give them explicit instructions.
“Tonight you’ll give this lizard a proper burial. You’ll dig a six by six hole with your e-tool. While you’re digging its grave, you will come up with a proper burial ceremony which you will perform for your fellow recruits. Do you understand?”
Seeking Me To Find You (Finding You Series Book 1) Page 13