Freelance Heroics (Firesign Book 2)

by Stephen W. Gee

  “Naw. Too slow.” Mazik aimed at the corpse’s neck. “Mazik—er, no. Corpse Cutter!”

  There was a flash of light, and then the head separated from the body, its neck vaporized in a sickening flash of meaty smoke. Mazik kicked the head into the sack.

  “Shall we go?” asked Raedren. His voice was unsteady. Gavi understood why—his whole body was shaking with the effort of holding off the other two orcks.

  Gavi nodded. “I think we can go.”

  Mazik laughed, and grabbed Raedren by the shoulder. He passed the bag to Gavi. “I agree. Here, hold this. Last one back to town buys the first round!”

  *

  Three days later, Mazik, Gavi, and Raedren shambled down to the inn’s common room for breakfast. Or lunch, really. Though it had been two full days since they returned to Saffir with the orck leader’s head, they were still recovering. That meant they needed plenty of rest and food—something their late-night carousing probably wasn’t helping with.

  As they sat down with the glum silence of the moderately hungover, another chair settled beside their table, and a man sat down. Mazik looked up. Sergeant Redsna stared at him over folded hands.

  “Ah, there you are.” Mazik stifled a yawn. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to come. Again.”

  “Anything to keep you from barging into the guardhouse and ambushing me at my desk. Again.” Though his words were harsh, Redsna’s expression remained even and professional. “I have news on your payment.”

  “Fuckin’ finally.” Mazik coughed, then cleared his throat. “I mean, go on.”

  “It’s the council’s judgement that the head you brought us is at least fifty percent likely to be that of the orck leader. They’re willing to issue remuneration in line with that likelihood.”

  Mazik’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  Gavi pushed the hair out of her face. “Calm down. Let him finish.”

  For once, Sergeant Redsna’s expression changed. He smiled. On him, it didn’t seem pleasant.

  “Your pessimism is warranted. Because we can’t verify whether the head you brought us is from the orck leader, and because another group killed an orck they also claim to be the orck leader—and in that case, we have the entire body, which matches exactly the description we published, and we also have multiple witnesses who saw them kill her during the attack—the city council doesn’t feel it can issue you the full reward. You’ll get half instead.”

  Mazik’s fist slammed the table, rattling scratched utensils. Raedren clutched his head and moaned. “That’s bullshit! Like we told you, that was a decoy. Red Feathers never left the camp, so she could stay close to her”—his looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear, and lowered his voice—“her boss. Did you talk to the Blue Boar about this?”

  Sergeant Redsna nodded. “He’s one of the reasons you’re getting any reward at all. He may be a nuisance, but his reputation for honesty is unimpeachable.”

  “What about all the valuables we told you about? Or the other bodies?” asked Gavi.

  “And the people we freed.” Raedren accepted a beer from their usual waiter, and began the process of washing away his hangover.

  “Those were the other reasons. The freed hostages and valuables, at any rate,” said Sergeant Redsna. “We didn’t find a headless orck body when we raided the camp again. That’s not surprising, though—the orcks had ample time to bury the body, or whatever orcks do with their dead.

  “As for the human,” added Sergeant Redsna quickly; Mazik closed his mouth and let him continue, “we did find him. But since he was too dead to question, we have no way of verifying whether he was actually working with the orcks, as you claim.”

  Gavi nudged Mazik. “Told you.”

  “It wasn’t my fault! His active defenses were pretty good. I didn’t think his passive defenses would be so shitty.”

  “Either way,” said Sergeant Redsna, “since the Blue Boar vouched for what happened, and because no one has been able to identify the man, you won’t be held liable for his death.”

  Mazik sputtered. “You’re not going to hold us liable? Oh, how nice of you! And why was that even a possibility?” He slapped the table, each slap punctuating a word. “We were adventurers on a quest directly issued by the city! How could you even think of charging us with a crime?”

  “Adventurers who entered the orck camp when it was forbidden.” Sergeant Redsna’s expression softened, and he lowered his voice. “Just like I warned you, they didn’t believe you when you said you didn’t know. Though between you and me, I think the council is upset that a bunch of adventurers showed them up. That’s why they’re giving the other group the full reward, and openly lauding them in the papers. Your contribution is being hushed up.”

  “Oh, that’s just lovely.” By now, Mazik was boiling over, having worked himself up into a good rage. He felt Gavi and Raedren rest their hands on his shoulders.

  “It’s okay. Half is pretty good, right?” Gavi squeezed his shoulder. “Besides, we’ve gotten extra from the museum and some of the nobles whose stuff was stolen. We’re making out all right.”

  Mazik glanced at Raedren, who nodded. He started to argue—and then his shoulders slumped. “All right, all right.” He sighed. “Where do we go to collect?”

  Sergeant Redsna laid a business card on the table. “One of our clerks will meet you at the Royal Jihns Bank downtown at fifteen o’clock. I can be there as well, if you’d prefer someone you recognize.”

  “That’s okay. We’ll be fine.” Gavi took the business card before Mazik could reach it.

  “Good. I have actual work to do.” Sergeant Redsna rose. He started to bow, but hesitated.

  “Regardless of anything else, thank you for your assistance,” said Sergeant Redsna. “If you’re ever in Saffir again, come see me. I’ll tell you about any quests we have available.”

  “Thank you.” Gavi bowed.

  Redsna nodded. He completed the bow. “Have a good day.”

  “Wait a second, Sergeant.” Mazik raised his hand. “A quick question.”

  Sergeant Redsna turned back. “Hm?”

  Mazik kept his voice low. “Did you learn anything about other humans ever successfully having worked with orcks?”

  Sergeant Redsna checked for anyone watching them, then sat back down. “We haven’t. It’s not unreasonable, though. If the orck leader—whether the one you killed, or the other one—”

  “I told you, that was a decoy to—”

  “If she was truly one of the intelligent orcks,” said Redsna, talking over Mazik, “she could have struck a deal with the man you killed, just like any human could. Unheard-of isn’t the same as impossible.”

  “No, that’s true.” Mazik leaned back, scratching his chin. “It’s just extremely rare, since it’s apparently never happened before. But even if he convinced Red Feathers, I find it hard to believe that she was able to convince all her warriors to ignore eons of killing instinct. Not with how confident he was that they wouldn’t attack him.”

  “It made more sense when we thought he couldn’t be seen by anyone but her,” said Gavi.

  Mazik bit his lip. “True.”

  “We’ll keep our eyes open,” said Sergeant Redsna vaguely. He stood up again.

  As the inn’s front doors swung shut after Sergeant Redsna, Mazik turned to his friends. “Well, even though they’re screwing us on the reward, I believe this calls for a celebration! And since you already found yourself a beer,” he said, shifting to Raedren, “I think you should get the first round.”

  “Already?” Gavi rubbed her forehead. “Let’s get some food first.”

  Raedren took a sip of his beer. “Sounds to me like you were the ones who didn’t think ahead.”

  “No no, I insist. And you can get them”—Mazik leaned on Raedren’s shoulder and pointed past him—“from her.”

  Raedren looked up. He was pointing at the cute redheaded waiter that Mazik had pointed o
ut to him several days ago. She was dressed in a white apron, and was laughing at something a customer was saying while she loaded up her tray. Even Mazik, who had a girlfriend, had to admit that her smile was dazzling.

  “No thanks. She’s not our waiter.” Raedren turned back to his beer.

  “Aww, come on. You just helped save the town, and are about to get paid for it! Use the ‘hero’ angle to break the ice. I guarantee it’ll work.”

  “I feel like you just insulted all women,” said Gavi.

  “Hey,” said Mazik, “it would work on me too, if I hadn’t been there. Also, I don’t find beards attractive.”

  Gavi snorted.

  Raedren shook his head. “I’d rather not.”

  “Why not?” asked Mazik.

  Raedren shrugged. “It’s early. No reason.”

  Mazik felt a surge of annoyance. His face scrunched up as he examined his best friend. “What’s going on, man? You’ve been refusing to talk to women outside of quests—to anyone, really, other than me’n Gavs, ever since we left Houk. I know social stuff isn’t really your thing, but you’ve always been willing to try if I offered to help. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “No way. I don’t believe it.” Mazik crossed his arms. “What’s going on? We can’t help if we don’t know what’s wrong.”

  “Maz, let it go,” said Gavi.

  “Rejected!” Mazik’s eyes remained focused on Raedren. “Well?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he repeated.

  Mazik tapped his foot under the table. “Then go talk to her. If nothing’s wrong, why not?”

  “Because I’m not doing it!” snapped Raedren.

  Mazik pulled away, surprised. An uneasy silence settled over the table. Raedren kept his head down, staring into his beer. Gavi looked between the two of them, clearly unsure what to say.

  It wasn’t that Mazik was surprised that someone had gotten mad at him. After his last job, he was used to that. It was that the anger was coming from Raedren. While some people may think that his perennially relaxed attitude was a façade, Mazik knew better. He had known Raedren for many years, and been best friends with him for most of them. Raedren didn’t do anger. Not at others, at least. Self-loathing, sure. Depression, guilt, and second-guessing of his own decisions, absolutely. But not anger. Not at others. Seeing Raedren get angry was like being attacked by a puppy.

  “I’m sorry. It was rude of me to push when you didn’t want to do something,” said Mazik. He kept his voice even and careful, like he was afraid of setting off a bomb. “But this isn’t like you. If you don’t want to talk to her, that’s fine, but I think something more’s going on here. If you tell us, we might be able to help with it. Okay?” Mazik smiled. He tried to emulate one of Kalenia’s warm smiles, which always put him at ease. It felt strange on his face. “That’s all.”

  Raedren stared into his beer for another long second, then sighed. “All right. Thanks. Sorry for snapping.”

  Mazik waved a hand, dismissing it.

  Raedren said nothing for several seconds, as if he was marshaling his thoughts. Then he sighed again. “It’s not anything to do with her. She looks very nice, and I do appreciate your help. But it’s not going to work out.”

  “Why’s that?” asked Mazik softly. “Is it because we’re going to be leaving soon?”

  “Yes, that’s it exactly.” Raedren gripped his mug more tightly, as if he was baring his feelings to his drink. Finally, he looked up. “I’m not a casual-relationship kind of guy. You know that. I’m a long-term, dating-and-eventually-hopefully-getting-married kind of guy. That’s how I’ve always been.”

  Mazik nodded. He did know that, and was pretty sure that everyone who had ever met Raedren knew it as well. Raedren was a nice guy. He didn’t do things like one-night stands. But Mazik didn’t want to interrupt, so he remained quiet.

  “Eventually, I want to meet someone and get married and settle down. But that’s not very compatible with adventuring, is it? It’s not that I don’t want to do all of this,” he added quickly. “I’m not against adventuring or traveling. It’s just not conducive to long-term relationships, so I decided to put the whole thing on hold for now.”

  “I don’t know about that,” said Mazik. “I mean, I have a girlfriend, and Kalenia and I—”

  “But you’ve been dating for a while,” said Raedren, and if Mazik wasn’t mistaken, he thought he could hear a note of jealousy in his best friend’s voice. “You two got to meet and spend time together and get to know each other before you started traveling. I don’t have that luxury. If I talk to her”—he nodded toward the redheaded waiter, who had just disappeared into the kitchens—“and we hit it off, I’ll just end up leaving in a few days. Maybe sooner, since we’re finally getting paid. What’s the point?”

  Mazik stared at his friend. It wasn’t as if he didn’t understand what Raedren was saying. He wasn’t wrong. But Mazik also knew how important love and family was to Raedren—and friendship as well, though he was under no illusion about which ultimately placed first. With no prospect of even trying to find love, Mazik knew his friend would be miserable while traveling. He couldn’t allow that to happen, not the least because it would be his fault.

  Fortunately, he didn’t have to. Mazik let out a relieved sigh.

  “Yeah, that’s what I expected.” He relaxed, and let an easy smile slip onto his face. “And luckily, it’s total bullshit.”

  Raedren frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Look, you’re not wrong that I’m lucky to already have had time to get to know Kalenia. Really lucky. She’s awesome.” Mazik realized this could be construed as bragging, so he stopped. It took some effort, though. “But that doesn’t mean you should put the whole thing on hold. What if you meet a lady who wants to move to Houk? Or what if you meet someone who wants to travel. She could come along!”

  “That doesn’t seem likely. Traveling isn’t exactly safe for the manaless. It’s not necessarily safe for us, either.”

  “So focus on casters for a while,” said Mazik. “What about that Uard lady? You two seemed to get along well. If you two hit it off more, maybe she’ll want to join us.”

  “You just want another supporter, so you can focus on blowing things up,” said Gavi.

  “Granted! But that’s another issue entirely.” Mazik winked at Gavi, then turned back to Raedren. “Besides, there’s another element you haven’t considered: practice.”

  “Practice?” said Raedren.

  “Yes, practice.” Mazik laid a hand on the table, palm facing up. A blue sphere of mana appeared above it. “Do you remember how long it took me to be able to do this?”

  Raedren nodded. “Years. Many years.”

  “Same with you and your magick. Gavs, how much are we having you practice every day?”

  “Magick? Several hours a day, when we have time,” said Gavi.

  “Right-o. The key to getting better is practice, practice, practice.” Mazik extinguished the spell and clasped his hands on the table. “So how do you expect to get better at talking to women—at talking to anyone—if you never do it?”

  Raedren was quiet. Mazik could feel his friend’s opinion beginning to turn, so he went in for the kill.

  “Look, you’re an adventurer now. That means you’re earning all these awesome stories you can use to break the ice. And people like interesting people, right, Gavs?”

  “Er, right,” said Gavi.

  “But if you don’t learn how to talk about all these interesting things we’re doing, you’re just going to come across as a pompous ass when we’re back in Houk.” Mazik grinned. “And pompous jackass is my thing.”

  Raedren considered this. He shook his head. “Yes, but even if I did want to talk to Uard again, I don’t know how to get a hold of her.”

  Gavi raised her hand. “I can help with that. I connected with her a few days ago. Remember how I was getting updates from the defense group while we were on the walls? T
hat was from her.”

  Raedren glanced at Gavi. “When did you connect with her?”

  “When you two were infiltrating and subsequently getting chased out of a hospital.”

  “Ah.”

  “See?” said Mazik. “We’re both here to help you. Right, Gavs?”

  Gavi nodded. “Of course. As long as you’re not going to do anything sleazy.”

  “I’m a happily taken man, and Rae doesn’t have a sleazy bone in his body.” Mazik held a hand over his chest. He nodded, trying to look serious. “You know this to be true.”

  While Gavi shot Mazik a (jokingly, he was pretty sure) skeptical glare, Raedren rubbed his beard. After a minute, he seemed to make a decision. “Okay, I understand what you’re saying. I still need to think about it more, but maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll give it a shot once in a while. Just to stay in practice.”

  “Great!” said Mazik. “Though yeah, if you feel yourself falling in love with someone, probably ask about their attitude about travel and whatnot.”

  Raedren nodded. “Will do.”

  Mazik clapped him on the back. “In which case, let’s get some food and beers, and then you can get cleaned up for your date!”

  “Ye—” Raedren did a double take. “Wait, what date?”

  “Er, no. Sorry. To ask her on a date!” Mazik pumped his fist over his head.

  Gavi tapped her ear. “I can call her and see if she has time to meet today. Remember?”

  “I only said I’d think about it,” said Raedren. “I still need to—”

  “Also, we have to do that whole get-a-bunch-of-money thing too,” said Mazik, ignoring his friend. He pumped his fist again. “So let’s eat! Waiter, may we have your attention pleeeease!”

  “Oh great, he’s excited,” said Gavi. “Excited and loud.”

  “I think he’s more excited than I am,” said Raedren. “Also, I never said—”

  Mazik grinned. He slapped Raedren on the back. “Don’t worry so much. You’ve got this!”

  Raedren mumbled and took a drink of his beer. Mazik laughed. If he was any kind of judge of people—or at least, of Raedren, which he certainly was—he knew his friend was actually quite excited. It’s just that the excitement had to do a lot to fight past his anxiety.