by Sophie King
‘I’ve already had to stop Tabitha trying to go online by changing the password,’ pointed out Susan. ‘Can you imagine what would happen if she went into a chatroom? She’s so naïve she might give out our address.’
‘It’s all monitored. They can’t do that kind of thing. Anyway, have a think about it. OK? What are you doing today when we’ve gone? Anything nice?’
‘Well,’ said Susan slowly, ‘I’ve been seeing someone called Joe, actually.’
‘Really?’ Steff’s eyes glittered with curiosity. ‘That’s wonderful. Is he the friend you had dinner with before?’
‘No, someone different.’
It was naughty of her but she couldn’t help it. Susan was fed up with everyone feeling sorry for her and it wouldn’t do Josh any harm to think that someone found her attractive.
‘Do you think there’s any future in it?’ probed Steff.
Susan considered her manoeuvres, which were coming on nicely, even if she said so herself.
‘I’m keeping my fingers crossed,’ she said coyly.
‘Check your mirrors and remember to watch that right-hand lane in the new one-way system.’ Joe seemed as nervous as she felt as they drove to the centre after her hour’s pre-test practice. ‘You can do it, Sue. I’ve told you. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, no one else will.’
She waited, sitting on her hands to stop them shaking, with three teenagers. In her day, there hadn’t been the money for lessons at that age. If Tabitha had been different, she’d have made sure she learned.
A large man with sharp, beady eyes came into the room, calling a name. It wasn’t hers and she felt a wave of relief. Then a woman entered, about her age, in a smart suit. Susan couldn’t decide if she was relieved or not when the teenager next to her got up to follow her out.
‘Susan Thomas?’ This was it. Her examiner was a tall, lanky man with wiry hair. Would he be sympathetic or fail her at the first mistake?
Stop shaking.
Confidence. If you don’t have it in yourself, no one else will.
Do this for Tabitha and all those days out. Do it for yourself.
Back home, she rang her father. To her disappointment, the answerphone was on. Joy was out too. She had to tell someone.
‘Steff, it’s me. I wanted to tell you something quite exciting.’
‘Fire away!’
She could feel the excitement bubbling inside her: it still didn’t feel real. ‘I passed my driving test this morning.’
‘You what? Sue, that’s fantastic. Absolutely fantastic! I didn’t know you were learning.’
‘I didn’t want to say anything in case I didn’t pass.’
‘I understand. Have you told your friend Joe?’
‘He was the first person who knew, actually, and he’s really pleased for me. Anyway, if you like, I could drive Tabitha over to you next weekend.’
‘That would be brilliant. I’m so proud of you, Sue, I really am!’
Funny, she thought, replacing the phone. Four months ago she would never in a million years have thought she’d confide in her ex’s new wife. But she had really seemed to understand. More so, probably, than Joy would. Now all she had to do was buy a car. She’d been saving and her dad, bless him, had offered to help out. Maybe she should look online.
She logged on. Better check her inbox first, in case there was anything from the magazine. They had promised to let her and Joy know when it was going in. Honestly, it was amazing what rubbish you got sent nowadays. Spam – the term still reminded her of the cold meat from school dinners – was a right pain even though it only took a few seconds to delete.
WHY NOT JOIN OUR DATING SERVICE?
How did they know she was single or was it just a random marketing sweep?
Automatically, she deleted it, then wondered if she’d been too hasty. She retrieved it and sat looking at it. Funny. Until now, she could honestly say she’d never missed having a man in her life. She’d had enough on her plate just concentrating on Tabitha. The episode with Simon had freaked her out but at the same time, even though she was embarrassed to admit it, it had aroused her in a way she hadn’t experienced for a long time. Simon had found her attractive, even though he was clearly the wrong sort. Maybe, after all, it wasn’t too late to find the right man . . .
Later, she went out with her dad to a garage – not far from Josh and Steff, strangely enough – to check out a Ford Fiesta he’d seen.
‘I’ve told you,’ he said, as they set off, ‘I want to buy it for you. See it as an early legacy, if you like, or a gift to Tabitha.’
‘Dad, I can’t— Gosh, do you mind if we stop? I know that girl at the bus stop and she’s pregnant. Maybe she could do with a lift.’
They pulled up and Susan wound down the window. ‘Lisa, hi! Want a ride?’
She was carrying a bundle in her arms and seemed surprised and none too pleased to see Susan.
‘No. I’m all right.’
It was obvious that Lisa had been crying, poor kid.
‘But the bus could take ages,’ she said. ‘I know what it’s like.’
‘I said I’m all right.’
‘OK. See you next week, then.’
‘Didn’t think much of your friend’s manners,’ said her father, as they drove off.
‘She’s not really my friend. She works at the nursery next to Tabitha’s centre. But she’s normally so sweet, always kind to Tabitha and the others.’
Susan turned back. ‘Dad, I know this might sound odd but Lisa was really upset. I think I should go back.’
60
This little bear can make your dreams come true by Christmas!
That was what it had said. She knew the words off by heart, had hung on to them for reassurance ever since they’d popped on to her screen.
It was nearly time now.
‘Lisa?’
Tabitha’s mum was leaning out of the passenger window of a car. ‘Look, I’m sorry if I’m interfering, but I couldn’t help wondering, is everything all right?’
Lisa looked into Susan’s kindly face and burst into tears again.
‘It’s OK,’ said Susan, getting out. ‘I used to get emotional when I was pregnant too. Look, why don’t I give you a lift? Where are you going?’
She tried to talk but could only sob.
‘Tell you what, love, why don’t we go to a friend of mine? She only lives round the corner. She might not be in, but if she is she’ll give us a nice cup of tea.’
And somehow that was one of the nicest ideas anyone had ever suggested.
‘Do you want to put those blankets down?’ asked Steff, kindly.
Lisa looked alarmed. ‘Only if it’s somewhere safe. They’re for the baby and I don’t want to get them dirty.’
‘You won’t, duck.’
Steff spoke soothingly. Susan had to hand it to her: she’d taken in the situation at a glance when they’d arrived on the doorstep.
Susan had only been able to explain briefly what had happened but her dad had understood and gone home, promising to defer the car-buying for another day. And now Lisa was sitting on a beautiful cream leather sofa, sobbing her heart out. Luckily, Josh had taken Tabitha out. Susan wouldn’t have wanted her daughter to witness this.
‘I’m so scared it’s going to go wrong again.’ She was fiddling with a crucifix round her neck.
Steff was stroking her hand. ‘I know. It’s understandable to be scared when you’re pregnant.’
‘I’m going to call her Rose, you know.’
‘Pretty name. But how far gone are you, love?’
Lisa sniffed. ‘I’m nearly due. At least, I think I am. My dates might be a bit out.’
‘What do the doctors say?’ asked Susan.
‘I dunno. I haven’t had any check-ups. I’m too scared. I reckon that’s what went wrong with Sky. They did an internal, the day before, and then I started to lose her . . .’
Her wails filled the room and Steff looked at Susan in alarm, sign
alling her to come out into the kitchen. ‘She needs help,’ she whispered.
‘I know. But what can we do if she won’t see anyone?’
‘Well, I did my midwifery, you know. It was some time ago but if she let me examine her, I might be able to reassure her. Then maybe we could persuade her to go to the hospital or at least her GP.’
It was worth a try.
‘Look, duck,’ said Steff, ‘I’m a nurse. Would it be all right if I took a look at you? Then I can tell you everything’s OK.’
Wordlessly, Lisa nodded.
‘I’ll go outside,’ offered Susan. She stood in Steff’s designer kitchen, waiting. It sounded pretty quiet in there, apart from a few low murmurs.
Then Steff came out, her face serious.
‘Everything all right?’ demanded Susan breathlessly.
Steff’s mouth was set grimly and, for once, she wasn’t smiling. ‘I can’t be certain, but I don’t think your friend Lisa’s pregnant at all.’
‘But she’s got a bump.’
‘That depends on how she’s standing,’ said Steff, shortly. ‘And, yes, her stomach is slightly distended, which might accentuate it.’
‘I don’t understand. What are you saying?’
‘Well, I’ve only seen one other case like this, but I think it’s a phantom pregnancy. She wants to be pregnant so much that she believes she is, poor kid.’
‘Weird.’
‘Usually – although, like I said, it’s rare – it’s because they desperately want someone to love them. And a baby, of course, gives unconditional love. She’s wearing padding, too, although she tried to stop me seeing it.’
‘What kind of padding?’
‘Difficult to tell. Looked like layers of fabric under her pants.’
‘Blimey.’ Susan was shocked. ‘What do we do now?’
Steff was already putting on her coat. ‘Get hold of her GP or maybe take her to hospital. She needs help. And fast.’
61
The car, to his relief, was still in the drive, unlocked with the key in the ignition as though someone had thought about driving it away, then changed their mind. So where were they? Mark began to run along the pavement towards the park, heart pounding. He peered across at the swings and slides; a couple of younger children were there with their mothers.
Then he saw them, riding on the road on bikes without their helmets.
‘Where’s your mother?’ he called.
‘At home.’ Florrie skidded to a halt beside him. ‘She said she was going to have a lie-down.’
At home? But he’d called upstairs and no one had answered.
Still, at least she hadn’t gone out and broken the condition of the visit. ‘I want you back now, you two, and you know you’re not meant to ride your bikes without a helmet.’
‘Sorry, Dad. Can’t we have just a bit longer?’
‘Yeah, we can ride in the park.’
Mark considered it. It would give him time to go back and talk to Hilary. ‘All right. But I want you home in twenty minutes.’
He walked back to the house, wondering whether he should come clean with Hilary about Caroline. It was clear they couldn’t go on like this. Or should he wait until she was released?
‘Hilary?’
No answer. The kitchen was empty and so was the sitting room. He went upstairs. Their bedroom was empty too, and so were the children’s rooms. He tried the bathroom door.
Locked.
‘Hilary? Are you all right?’
Silence.
‘Hilary. You’re scaring me. Just tell me you’re OK.’
‘What’s going on, Mark?’
For once, he didn’t curse his mother-in-law for letting herself in unannounced. ‘She’s locked herself into the bathroom.’
Daphne rattled the handle. ‘Hilary, stop being silly, dear. Just tell us you’re all right.’ She looked at Mark with frightened eyes.
‘Dear Lord, what should we do?’
He heaved his shoulder against the door.
‘You can’t break it down,’ said Daphne, horrified.
He rubbed his arm. ‘I’ve got to.’
He heaved again and again. There was a crack as the door gave way.
Pushing it open, he ran in. Hilary was in the bath. She was lying back, eyes closed, one arm trailing over the side. The water was pink.
Daphne called for an ambulance while Mark ripped up a towel and tried to stem the flow of blood from Hilary’s wrist. A razor blade lay on the side of the bath – presumably she had used that. Miraculously, she was still breathing.
The children, thank heavens, arrived just after the ambulance had left so he was able to play it down. Mummy had fallen in the bath and gone to hospital. He was going there now to be with her and Daphne would look after them.
Florrie was shaking with fear and he pulled her towards him, holding her tight. How could Hilary have been so wicked? Of course Florrie was his.
‘Is Mummy going to be all right?’ she asked, her voice muffled in his jumper. He wanted to say yes, but there had been too many lies. Too many fudges. So instead he held out his other arm to Freddy and drew him in too, as he had done when they were little. ‘I hope so. But she’s in good hands and, remember, I’m always here for you.’
LETTER TO MR MARK SUMMERS
Dear Mr Summers,
Thank you for your letter of last week, outlining the unfortunate problems with your son Freddy. I can assure you that, as the chairman of the governors, I take bullying and racism very seriously. Investigations are being carried out and we will update you accordingly. In the meantime, I hope Freddy will recover soon from his bout of influenza.
Yours sincerely,
Theobald Hepplethwaite
EMAIL TO LISA SMITH
Deer Lisa, Im sory I haven’t replyed but Ive been very bisy. Good luk with the baby. Ill try and cum and see you soon.
Mum
WHAT MUMS KNOW
JOIN OUR ONLINE DISCUSSIONS ON:
Safety standards at nursery.
TIP FROM MELISSA2
To avoid queues for Santa, go early in the morning or just before he closes.
THOUGHT TO KEEP YOU SANE FROM PUSHY PRINCESS
You don’t have to live life just for the weekend.
CHUCKLE CORNER FROM ANON OF ALDERSHOT
Hearsay is what toddlers do every time you swear.
PARENTING NEWS
Survey reveals that the average child receives £500 worth of Christmas presents.
62
From Scummy Mummy to What Mums Know: Isn’t it awful about that missing kid? I think nurseries should tag them. I couldn’t think of anything worse than losing a child.
Caroline and Roger waited impatiently at the tinsel-festooned barrier as a long, straggly line of travellers went past. Some looked around hopefully, presumably for loved ones or taxis to meet them. Others strode straight ahead. A father went past with a small child on his shoulders and his arm round a woman.
Caroline’s chest tightened. She couldn’t remember when Roger had last put his arm round her as they walked along. It seemed so long, too, since their children had been the size of that little one. Now they were a sticking plaster for their marriage, a plaster that was fast losing its grip.
‘There she is!’ Roger leaped forward. She hadn’t seen him beam like that for ages. ‘Bella, we’re here.’
A tall, tanned young woman with tightly plaited hair bounded up, a grubby black haversack thumping heavily on her back. ‘Mum! Dad!’ She hugged Caroline first, then Roger.
‘Let me look at you.’ Caroline cradled her daughter’s face in her hands. It had been so long since she’d seen her that she’d almost forgotten the exact shape of her nose and that mole on her chin. She hugged her tighter. ‘Bella, we were so scared.’
‘I know, Mum. That’s why I came back early. And I’d had enough, to be honest.’ Her eyes filled with tears. ‘I still can’t believe that Katy and Steve are dead. I just wanted to come home.’
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br /> But home had changed, thought Caroline, as they walked to the car. Annabel had been away for more than six months and so much had happened since then.
As soon as they got back she made her starving daughter a bacon sandwich, then stole up to the study and logged on, her heart beating fast. No more from Beware. In one way, that was a relief. But it might mean that whoever had sent the message was about to carry out their threat and tell Roger.
She had to get in first and come clean. In a way, it was almost ironic. She had forgiven her husband for his affair. But would he forgive her, and did she want him to?
She went downstairs. Roger was sitting on the sofa, reading the paper. She wondered why people were invariably doing normal things when their world was about to be shattered.
‘Can we talk?’
He looked at her, eyes cold. ‘Of course.’
She closed the door behind her. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’
‘What?’
‘I’m seeing someone else.’
‘You’re what?’
‘I’m seeing someone else.’ Her voice didn’t belong to her.
‘Is it serious?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do I know him?’
‘No.’
‘I see.’
She sank on to a chair. ‘Don’t you want to know anything about him? How long it’s been going on? What he’s like?’
Roger stood up. ‘I’m not in the slightest bit interested, although, I must say, you do pick your moments. Our daughter has only just returned and you have to drop this bombshell.’
‘But what do you want to do? Shall I move out? Will you?’
‘I really can’t think about that yet. I need to get my head round it. I suppose you’ve done it out of spite to pay me back.’
‘No.’ She shook her head vigorously. ‘It’s not like that. But, as a matter of interest, if I said I was sorry, would you forgive me?’