“Lisa, in all of this, I’ve not considered what it must be like for you—losing your friend and now having to give up a child you love as if she were your own.”
“I am going to be so lonesome for her, but she belongs here with you. That’s what Deidre wanted. I have to confess that I was pretty concerned when you wanted to bring her here so soon after her mom’s passing, but she is settling in well.”
Awkwardly, he patted her shoulder in an attempt to stem the flood of tears. “You do whatever is best for you. We will manage. But maybe you could come back to see us.”
“I’d like that,” she said, taking a tissue from her pocket. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Talking to Emma isn’t going to be easy. Should we try for this evening?”
Lisa frowned. “I don’t think so. She’s usually so tired at the end of her day, which makes her really fussy. It might be better to talk tomorrow morning. She’s going to be upset enough. No point in adding to it by timing it badly.” Lisa sniffed and looked at him apologetically.
“Okay. Let’s plan on after breakfast tomorrow. I’ll call and let them know I won’t be in the office tomorrow. I feel pretty sure that she’ll need reassurance from both of us.”
Lisa met his gaze. “Aidan, you’re a good dad and a good person.” She picked up her purse. “If there’s anything I can do to make things right between you and your wife, I’d be willing to do it. It was pretty clear that first day I met her that she was hurt and shocked by what she’d learned. I feel guilty about the way I brought up the photo of you because it hurt her, something I didn’t mean to do.”
“You were pretty upset yourself, Lisa. We all made mistakes in those first few days.”
With a sad heart, he watched Lisa and Emma go down the driveway. He felt empty and alone. He had so much to consider. First, he had to talk to Emma about Lisa leaving. Then he had to find someone to take over the house and care for Emma while he was at work.
Whomever he found would have to be able to start as soon as possible, but it wouldn’t be the same as having Lisa, who clearly loved his little girl. He began to realize how much he had counted on Lisa to be here with Emma while he convinced Grace to move back home.
He waited until Lisa’s car had turned onto the next street before he turned to the job at hand. He called his office, asking his assistant to see if she could help in the search for a new nanny, then put a call in to the two kindergartens to move the appointments up so that he and Lisa could go together.
He was concerned about how tomorrow would go, how upset Emma would be to learn Lisa was leaving. The chaos underscored his need to have Grace here. Especially while he talked to Emma.
Grace would know what to say, how to handle this. Emma liked Grace. She was so strong. So capable of seeing what was possible, what would work best for Emma.
He’d been sitting staring at his computer screen, trying to deal with the paperwork spread out around him. All he wanted to do was see Grace, a futile wish, given that she hadn’t returned any of his calls. If there was a bright spot to his day, it was that the parcel meant he had an excuse to call her again.
He was still thinking of Grace when the phone rang. With trepidation, he answered, “Hi. What’s up, Lucas?”
“You are, you silly bastard,” Lucas said. “Like I promised a week ago, I’m coming over to your house. Put the coffee on,” he ordered.
Whoa. Lucas’s tone said he was angry, which said that Grace was, as well. But if he could reach Grace by having it out with Lucas, he’d do it. “Okay. See you in a few minutes.”
“You got it,” Lucas said before hanging up.
When Lucas arrived, a scowl dominated his features like a cloud before a downpour. “Coffee’s on,” Aidan said, taking two mugs from the cupboard. “Two creams?”
“Yep.” Lucas took the cup, had a quick sip, then leveled a look at Aidan he’d never seen before. “When are you going to fix things with my sister?”
“I’ve tried. She is still very angry about everything.”
“And that’s your excuse? Hell, Aidan, you can do better than that.”
“Lucas. She won’t talk to me. Ever since we stopped in at the hotel bar at Foley Beach the other night. She acted really strange and I could tell she was upset with being in the bar, being around singles... Or I assume that’s what it was.” Aidan put his cup down. “And I made a really dumb remark that didn’t help things.”
“Acting dumb is going around like a flu bug, it seems.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I talked to Grace.”
“What did she say?”
Lucas sipped his coffee, a glum expression on his face. “Not much.”
“Grace is still convinced that my relationship with Deidre went on a lot longer than it did.”
“Did it?” Lucas asked, his gaze fixed on Aidan.
“No!”
“Then get your act together. Grace is hurt over your infidelity. That’s influencing everything for her.”
Aidan nodded slowly as Lucas’s words cut into him. “What a complete fool I’ve been.” Aidan scrubbed his face, felt the stubble along his chin. “My second mistake was to think that Grace would go along with what I thought was the best plan.”
Lucas nodded slowly. “Well, I can tell you that Grace is miserable, She just sits in my condo and knits. She doesn’t seem willing to talk to us, but something has to change. I just can’t watch my sister being so unhappy and not do something about it.”
“Lucas, I had an idea last night, but can’t do much about it if Grace won’t talk to me.”
“What’s your idea?” Lucas asked, a quick look of interest on his face.
“I thought I’d see if Grace would go away with me for a couple days. If we could find time alone, just the two of us, without any interruptions, maybe she could be persuaded to come home and try again with me.”
The emptiness of the house seemed magnified by his thoughts of Grace. “I miss her so much. I can’t imagine my life without her.”
“Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll talk to Maria and get her advice on how to convince Grace to see you. You let Grace know about the quilting fabric, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I did, but she didn’t answer my message.”
“My sister loves her quilting fabrics. That might be the easiest way to convince her to come over here. The rest will be up to you. Unless you have another idea...”
Rubbing his jaw in thought, Aidan said, “Emma’s nanny, Lisa, is leaving at the end of the month. She and I are going to talk to Emma tomorrow morning. What would you think if I asked Grace to be there? Am I being a total idiot to think she might be interested in being part of that?”
Lucas stared at him for a few minutes. “I honestly don’t know how she’d react. I’m pretty sure she likes Emma. In fact, my sister loves all children and wouldn’t want to see any child hurt. I guess you could call her and see what she says.”
“If you can get her to return my calls.”
“Maybe the best answer is for you to go to my place and talk to her. Just give me fair warning you’re coming so I can be out before you get there.”
“I could give that a try. Would you be willing to give her a message?”
Lucas scanned the ceiling before answering. “I’ll put in a good word for you, but you need to make the effort. I’m headed to the office and then out of town on the McLellan project. It’s all up to you, buddy. Good luck.”
Relief flowed through Aidan like a warm summer breeze. “I’ll try anything.”
“By the way, if Grace is willing to go away with you, be sure to turn off your work cell. Nothing kills a romantic moment faster than a call from work.” He tapped his chest. “I found out the hard way a couple weeks ago. I’ve never seen Maria more upset.”
“And if I disappear for a
couple of days, that will mean more work for you,” Aidan said.
“All for a good cause. I need you to focus more on work, and Grace needs you back. Not to mention what Emma needs in all this.” Lucas put his cup in the sink and slapped Aidan on the back before heading to the door. “Try not to blow it, Aidan.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
GRACE SAT ALONE in her brother’s condo, trying to sort out her feelings. She’d hardly slept since her talk with Lucas. His words, his serious tone, had filled her with dread.
More than anything that had happened so far, Lucas had made her aware of how fragile her marriage was, how little it would take to end it. She’d never truly considered that she and Aidan might not be able to resolve their differences. Yes, she’d had moments of frustration when they seemed miles apart. But underlying that frustration had been the deeper confidence that they would fix their relationship. They’d always been able to talk over any problems in their marriage, but this time was different. What had happened five years ago was tearing them apart.
Deep down she knew she’d been hiding out at her brother’s place, taking solace in knitting and watching TV. But she needed to do something to move on with her life, to figure out what she should do with her marriage.
She wanted to deny that she’d been unable to accept what had happened to her and Aidan in the past few weeks. Lucas couldn’t possibly understand how painful it was to face up to the fact that Aidan had a child with another woman. And how could Lucas possibly believe that what Aidan had done to her was acceptable in a marriage based on love and trust? She’d come up with all kinds of reasons Lucas had to be wrong, but none of them made sense in the darkness of her room each night.
Was she simply unwilling to accept what Aidan said? That he’d made a mistake a long time ago, and it had nothing to do with his love for her?
And what about Emma? She couldn’t help but love the little girl. Yet if she wasn’t an equal partner in raising Emma and making decisions involving her, the rest of their relationship would suffer the consequences.
Still and all, she missed Aidan so much, found herself thinking about him all the time. What was he doing? What was he feeling? Was he eating, looking after himself? Between his new family responsibilities and his work, he had to be under even more pressure.
She’d been at the table with Lucas and Maria several times over the past days and heard how busy Lucas was, which meant that Aidan had even more work responsibilities than she’d been aware of. She wanted to call Aidan, to let him know she was here if he needed her. But she wasn’t going to do that. Not without some resolution about her role in Emma’s life.
She glanced at the phone, uncertain what she should do. If she called Aidan, what would she say? How could she begin a conversation about them when she wasn’t certain where to start? And the way she was feeling right now, she was afraid that what she did say would come out as an accusation. And what was the point in that?
Of course, her fabric had arrived. Having waited weeks for the expensive tapestry material, she wanted to see it. She’d chosen the fabrics online and intended to use them to make a wall hanging for her church.
Could she simply return his call about the fabric? That would be a neutral topic, possibly a place to start. She touched the phone, her fingers tapping along its smooth surface. “Do it!” she said to the empty room.
She reached for the phone just as it rang. Caller ID showed Aidan’s number. Suddenly nervous, she picked up. “Aidan?”
“It’s me, Grace.” She heard him sigh and wanted to reach through the phone and touch his cheek. “I—did you get my message about the fabric?”
“I did. I was thinking that I might come over today sometime if you’re going to be around. Or this evening, maybe,” she offered, aware of how much she needed to hear his voice.
“I’m working from home today. Come over anytime you want,” he said, his words tender in her ear.
Her body warmed at the memory of other times when he’d spoken to her like that. There had always been such warmth between them, such a powerful connection, and yet...
Her heart pounding in her throat, she clutched the phone tighter to her ear, willing him to talk to her about how he loved her, needed her and wanted her in his life. He’d said it the other night, but in her anxiousness, she needed to hear it once more.
In that moment, she faced what had been uppermost in her heart. She would give anything to see him. But she needed to move quickly before her courage deserted her. “What about now? Or maybe in an hour?”
“No. Please. Come over now. I’m right here. I’ll close up my computer and turn my cell phone off so we can talk,” he said, his words coming fast.
“Okay. I’ll be over in a few minutes,” she said, her heart pounding in that old familiar way it did whenever she talked to her husband.
Grace drove carefully through the streets toward the house she loved and the man she’d married and had loved with all her heart. Did she still love him after all this, or was she simply wishing for her past life? Would he ever understand how much he’d hurt her? Despite how she felt about him, what he’d done five years ago would always be between them, influencing how they felt about each other, if they couldn’t find a way to overcome it.
Would they be able to connect, to put the past behind them? If she were willing to try again, how long would it take before she could trust him with her feelings? And if they were to start over, to put their marriage first in their lives, how long would that take? What if they discovered, after months of trying again, that their love hadn’t survived what they’d been through?
What if she got to the house only to learn that nothing had changed, that Aidan insisted on convincing her that she needed to see things his way? If he did, what would she do? She suddenly realized that she’d been placing all her hope in a meeting like this, one where they could share their concerns as a starting point. And if it didn’t go that way...
As she pulled into the driveway, she noted that Lisa’s car wasn’t there. She had felt uncomfortable around the woman from the first moment she met her, mostly because Lisa seemed to know things about her husband she shouldn’t have known if Aidan had only been at the house once.
No matter how hard Grace tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling that Deidre and Aidan had been in touch after their short affair. Underneath everything that had gone on, Grace was afraid that Aidan hadn’t told her the whole truth. And no matter what they said to each other, how hard Aidan tried to convince her otherwise, the fear she felt at his behavior was the direct result of his infidelity. A betrayal she might not be able to move beyond. If she were unable to put the past behind her, there was little hope for their marriage.
Pushing her worried thoughts to the back of her mind, she got out of her car and went up the front walkway. The door opened and Aidan was standing there with a huge smile on his face, making her heart tumble in her chest.
He moved toward her...then stopped. “You’re here.” He sighed out the words. “Come on in. Do you want coffee?”
She glanced around at the smattering of toys lying about the front hall and the pink hoodie hanging on the newel post at the bottom of the stairs. “Is Emma here?” she asked, not wanting to have the little girl overhear their conversation.
“No. She’s with Lisa, running errands.” He smiled again, a smile so warm and inviting she wanted to walk into his arms.
“I was pleased to hear my fabric had arrived,” she said, glancing around the living room, seeing the dollhouse at the end of the sofa and the Lego blocks on the coffee table.
“I’ve put the parcel right here.” He pointed to the long flat box propped near the door.
“Thanks. I’ll get it on my way out,” she said, going down the hall to the kitchen.
The kitchen area was in disarray with the piles of files and the laptop on the counter, toys scattered everywhe
re. The sun caught the edge of the table where coloring books were spread out. Everything looked so lived in, so much the home of a child who was loved and cared for. “Emma must keep you busy.”
“She does. She’s basically taken over most of the house with all her stuff. And today I have a bunch of files that are in the way.” He glanced at her anxiously. “Let’s go to the living room. It’s probably the least cluttered part of the house,” he said, placing his hand in the small of her back, the heat of his fingers, the ease of his touch so familiar.
They faced each other, their eyes locked, the air between them charged with unanswered questions and emotions that neither could express.
Finally, Aidan said, “Grace, I’m so glad you’re here. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I messed up our date. I never considered that being in a bar would be so difficult for you and my thoughtless remark...” He glanced away. “I don’t seem to get anything right with you anymore.”
Seeing the anguish in his eyes, she reached for him. “You are having as much trouble with this whole thing as I am. I came here wanting to see if we can work through this somehow.” She gave him a wry grin. “Lucas read me the riot act the other day.”
His expression brightened and he reached for her hand. “Me, too. But he was right about everything. I need to listen to you.”
“And I need to understand where you’re coming from.” Her breath seemed to be stuck in her throat at his touch, the encouragement shining in his eyes.
“Why don’t you start? I promise to listen.” He led her to the sofa.
She eased down beside him, acutely aware that he still held her hand, his touch so warm. “I am having trouble accepting what happened, but you already know that.”
He sandwiched her hands in his. “The time I spent with Deidre was wrong and disrespectful. But I wasn’t keeping it from you for any other reason than that I didn’t see any point in hurting you over something that was done before it began. It was never anything more than a working relationship that got out of hand.”
Bringing Emma Home Page 20