Until It's Right

by Jamie Howard

  I squeeze the phone in my hand, half tempted to throw it and every other piece of technology I own in the garbage. I swear these things are out to destroy my life. I’d lay money on the fact that Haley saw this. It’s the only reasonable, nonparanoid explanation for how she went from flirty to frosty in less than thirty seconds. I read the text again. Yeah, there’s pretty much no way in hell she could have taken that in a good way. Just about every interpretation of this text message paints a very detailed picture of me and Kerry. A very naked picture.

  Me downplaying my date must have made me sound like a liar. Or a player. God, that’s laughable. Me, making my rounds with the women. If that’s not the joke of the century.

  I rub a hand over my face. Alright, this is fixable. I can do damage control. I’ve got three weeks to think of a plan, and one entire wedding to prove to Haley that she’s the girl for me.

  Chapter 23

  Haley

  A tendril of heat twists in the air, drifting up from the barrel of the curling iron. When I release the section of hair, it bounces down and sticks in a thick curl. I give it a quick layer of hairspray, trying not to breathe in any of the noxious fumes. There, done. I survey my reflection, running a hand carefully over the thick waves of my hair. My makeup is a little heavier than I usually wear it—a bold slash of black eyeliner, eyelashes curled and standing at attention with mascara, and subtle shades of brown swept over my eyelids. All that’s left is to slip on my dress and shoes and I’ll be good to go.

  “Hot damn.” Tara leans her hip against the doorway of the bathroom and fans herself. “You are smoking.”

  “Hopefully, not literally.”

  She rolls her eyes at me, and blocks my exit from the bathroom. “One second.” Grasping my chin between her fingers, she tilts my head left and then right. “You’re missing something.” With her hand still holding my face firmly in place, I can’t see what she’s doing, but I can hear her rummaging through a drawer. A second later she’s smearing something across my lips. “There, much better.”

  “Really? Red lipstick? Isn’t that—”

  “Sexy? Why yes, yes it is.”

  I take one last glance in the mirror, feeling contrasting emotions battling it out inside me. On the outside I look calm and collected; no one would have any idea that underneath the surface I’m a freaking piñata of emotions. One hard poke and everything’s going to come bursting out of me. Between the prospect of seeing Sloane and Luke together, dealing with an awkward reunion with Blaire, and trying to get through an entire evening with Kyle without breaking down, I’m a bona fide mess.

  A knock sounds from the front door, and Tara hurries over to it. “I’ll get it!”

  Delia slips through a second later, her hands wringing the strap of her purse. “Hey, guys.”

  I smile at her. “Don’t you look pretty.”

  Her hand plucks at the edge of her turquoise dress. It’s gorgeous on her, the perfect complement to her blue eyes and bright red hair, and a huge change from her typical yoga pants and sweatshirts. The most dressed up I’ve ever seen her is in a pair of jeans.

  “Are you guys going somewhere tonight?” I ask. Normally this is something I’d know, but my brain’s had a one-track focus this week.

  Tara wraps an arm around Delia’s shoulders and kisses her on the top of the head. “Delia’s finally coming home to meet my parents.”

  Delia snorts. “Yeah, they’re gonna love the country bumpkin you’re dating.”

  “Would you stop.” Tara snags her gaze.

  Delia shrugs, but before she can respond, there’s another knock on the door. That’s gotta be Kyle. Clutching the edges of my robe together, I hurry back to my bedroom and shove the door closed with my shoulder. In a flurry of action, I shed the robe and swap it for my dress, sitting down on the bed to strap on my heels.

  I inch the door open and peek through the crack. Kyle stands with Delia and Tara, chatting, a black suit clinging to his lean frame. A stark white shirt pokes out from underneath the lapels of his jacket, with a skinny black tie running down the middle. For the first time since that night at his parents’, he’s not wearing his glasses. I wasn’t lying that night; he does look really different without them. Given the choice I’d pick him in glasses hands down, but even without them he looks amazing, heart-stoppingly handsome. Or maybe it’s just my heart that’s tripping over itself in my chest.

  Pulling back, I lean against the door and remind myself why we’re going tonight as friends—because he slept with Kerry and then downplayed the whole thing. Because even though he can sleep with absolutely whoever he wants to and I can get past the disappointment that he wasn’t pining over me like I was him, what I can’t get over is someone who isn’t honest.

  Alright, here goes nothing.

  The instant I step through the door, Kyle’s eyes sweep over to me. They widen a little as they take a trip from my carefully styled hair to the hem of my dress that brushes against the carpet. I wish I could say the way he’s looking at me doesn’t affect me, but it does. It so does. Every place his gaze touches me tingles with awareness—the neckline of my dress, the hollow at the base of my throat, my lips.

  Tara hustles over to me, slipping behind me to yank the zipper up the last few inches. “With the way you two are staring at each other, I’ll be surprised if you even make it to the wedding,” she mumbles under her breath. “There, you’re good to go.” She pats my back.

  Fighting through the haze that’s currently fogging my concentration, I walk over to Delia and wrap her in a tight squeeze. Drawing back, I rest my hands on her shoulders and pin her gaze with mine. “They are going to love you. Just be yourself and there’s no way you won’t win them over. Trust me.”

  She gives me a grateful smile and blows out a heavy breath, nodding.

  Taking a deep breath of my own, I try to rearrange my face before I turn back to Kyle so it’s not giving away quite as much of what I’m thinking. “You ready?”

  His head cocks to the side, taking in the shift in my expression. “Are you?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  * * *

  The valet swings open my door and offers me a hand. Quickly and efficiently, he relieves Kyle of his keys and zips away with his Countryman. We’re not quite late, but we’re just on the edge of it. The small concession I made today for my sanity was to skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception. I didn’t think I’d make it through all the vows, the promising to love one another forever, and the sight of Luke and Sloane standing up there, flanking Harrison and Blaire like I should have been. It was too much. Too real. Too big a reminder.

  Kyle comes up next to me, a whiff of his cologne teasing my nose, and offers me his arm. I slip my hand through it, ordering it to remain relaxed. Without carefully calculating my motions, I’d be clinging to his arm and squeezing the life out of it in no time.

  “Shall we?”

  I nod, not trusting myself to speak.

  Glass doors are swept open for us and there, right in front of us are Blaire and Harrison, greeting their guests as they arrive. Their hands are linked together, matching smiles on their faces. His tux is impeccable, black, polished. Blaire’s dress is everything I imagined it would be. Sheer lace cap sleeves, all-over beading with crystals, and lacework that hugs in at her hips before flaring out into a gorgeous train.

  Her eyes flick over to us and away before darting back again. “Haley?”

  She takes four quick steps toward me and throws her arms around my neck. Pulling back, she holds on to my hands. “Oh my God, your hair! It’s gorgeous, and this dress! Luke wasn’t kidding when he said I’d barely recognize you.”

  They were talking about me?

  My smile freezes on my face. “You look beautiful. And this place is lovely. Congratulations, I’m so happy for the both of you.” I sound like an automaton.

  Harrison finally breaks away from the other couple he was talking to and pulls me into a hug. He squeezes me so ti
ght I can feel my ribs creak. “Killer dress, Hales. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  That stings. I can’t help but wonder if I’d “had it in me” when I was with Luke if he’d still want me or if we’d still be together. Did no one think I was good enough for him?

  An arm slips around my shoulders, pulling me in to a warm chest. Kyle gives my arm a quick squeeze. “We haven’t met. I’m Kyle.” He holds out his hand and Harrison gives it a shake.

  Blaire grins. “Are you two dating?”

  “Just friends,” Kyle tells her.

  Her eyes zero in on his hand on my shoulder, narrowing. “Really, because—”

  “Blaire,” a voice hisses from the doorway. Sloane slips through and shuts the door behind her quietly. “Mom’s looking for you again, something about a toast or flowers or God, I don’t know. I’m trying really hard here to put on my happy face, but you cannot leave me with them for that long.”

  My jaw automatically clenches at the sight of her, but the corner of my mouth tips up when I see what she’s wearing. It’s not quite pink. Technically you can call it champagne, but after the grief she gave me over wearing pink to Blaire’s engagement party, in my mind I am definitely calling it pink.

  Blaire jerks her head to the side, toward me, widening her eyes meaningfully.

  Sloane’s mouth drops open. “Haley. Oh, um, hey.” She clasps her hands behind her back.

  A part of me that I didn’t even know existed bubbles to the surface. “Nice dress.”

  Sloane tosses a withering glare at Blaire, who rolls her eyes.

  The door opens again. “What is going on out here?” Luke asks. “Everyone’s looking for you two.”

  Blaire drops a hand to her hip. “It’s not like we’re hiding. We’re standing right here. We’ve been greeting guests like we’re supposed to. Haley just happened to be one of the last people here and we were having a little chat.”

  Luke’s gaze rebounds over to me, and Kyle stiffens at my side.

  “You made it. I told them you wouldn’t miss it.” He smiles at me, his face lighting up. “You look great. Red really suits you.”

  I finally find my voice again, but the only thing that manages to come out is “Thanks.” I’d been mentally prepping myself to see them all, but I’m not prepared to have all of them ganging up on me at once. My brain is overloading, short-circuiting.

  It’s like no time has passed, with all the half-finished thoughts, glances overflowing with meaning, and thickly coursing undercurrents.

  Kyle steps forward, half blocking me with his body. “Luke, is it? I’m Kyle, Haley’s date.” He sticks out his hand. Standing next to Luke, Kyle is just a few inches shorter, and quite a few pounds lighter, but you wouldn’t know it from the look on his face.

  The corner of Luke’s mouth twitches. “Nice to meet you.”

  Blaire glances around Kyle so she can shoot me a message with her eyes, her look practically screaming: Just friends, huh?

  “Alright, well as much as I’m enjoying this reunion,” Sloane says, “if we get any more off schedule Mom’s going to lose her shit. Please take the heaviest bouquet on the planet, and get in there.”

  Sloane holds out an enormous mass of flowers, and light bounces off her hand, nearly blinding me.

  No, not her hand.

  A ring.

  An engagement ring.

  Chapter 24

  Kyle

  I think Haley just stopped breathing. Or she’s having a panic attack. I’m not really sure what that looks like. She’s only twenty-two, she can’t be having a heart attack, right? From the look on her face and how pale she is, I’m not entirely sure.

  Then again, her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend just flashed us with an engagement ring the size of the glacier that sunk the Titanic.

  The whole room goes dead silent, which is creepy because I can hear everyone breathing. The two sisters trade a look, the groom shakes his head and rubs his forehead, and the ex drops his eyes to the ground.

  Finally, Haley’s shoulder lifts under my hand like she’s drawing in a deep breath. Her voice is soft but steady. “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” Luke says, still not quite willing to look at her. His mouth opens and shuts, like there’s something more he wants to say but nothing’s coming out.

  “C’mon.” I wrap my fingers around her elbow, then look up at all of them. “We’ll see you inside.”

  Another look skates around the group of them as we leave, but I don’t know them well enough to interpret it. When the door closes behind us, voices sneak through after us, squeezing through the cracks. I keep Haley moving forward, away from them, hoping that whatever they’re saying she won’t hear and won’t hurt her.

  Because the look on her face right now? It’s breaking my heart.

  * * *

  Two hours of socializing later, I’m convinced that Haley knows everyone in this entire room. It’s finally hitting me that when she broke up with this guy she didn’t just lose a boyfriend, she lost a huge chunk of her life. The worst are the looks they keep giving her—pitying looks that make my hands clench.

  So far, nearly every conversation has ended something like this:

  “How are you doing, Haley? You know, with the … news.”

  Tight smile. “I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

  I’m about ready to scream, so I can only imagine how she’s handling it. Not that I have any clue. Her face is as calm as ever, her smile never fluctuating, other than the almost invisible pinching at the corners.

  What really sucks is that she doesn’t even let her guard down around me. I want her to lean on me, open up to me. That’s why I’m here, right? But instead, she lightly lays her hand on my arm and I trail after her like a useless tail.

  The room is packed and loud. The whole wall at the end is big glass windows that look right out on the beach. Beige walls glow red and orange as the sun sets, bouncing its light off chandeliers that drip with crystals, throwing rainbows all over the room. There are skinny white candles gnarled with wax, huge pale pink bowls erupting with flowers on the tables, delicate lace tablecloths, gold chairs, and a thousand other tiny details I have no doubt were intricately planned.

  The only reprieve we’ve had all night was dinner—a juicy filet and fresh lobster that made my stomach stand up and applaud. Then we were right back at it. The couple standing in front of us, don’t ask me their names, finally finishes up chatting with Haley and walks away.

  Before someone else can jump in their place, I dip my head next to her ear and whisper to her, “Dance with me.”

  Her eyes flick up to mine and something sparks there, like a fire on the verge of going out simmering back to life. In the next instant it’s gone. “I’d like that.”

  Sliding my hand down from her elbow, I lace my fingers through hers.

  Her gaze darts from our entwined fingers back up to my face, a question lingering in her eyes.

  This is it. The moment I’ve been waiting for. My opportunity to take action on my plan to show Haley that her feelings aren’t one-sided at all and we should be together. I open my mouth, ready to spill my guts, tell her the truth about Kerry, and that I’m crazy about her. But someone cuts in before I get the chance.

  “Haley Mitchell! You best get over here and give me a hug, pronto.” Even with the booming music, her voice pierces right through it. I’m not sure who she is, but she’s got snow-white hair, a bright purple dress wrapped around her small frame, and a diamond brooch the size of my fist pinned to her chest.

  For the first time since Sloane flashed her rock at us, a real smile spreads across Haley’s face. “Bunny.” Haley slips from my grasp and crushes her in a hug. “It’s so good to see you. How are you?”

  “Me? I’m fine. Still kicking it. They wouldn’t let me bring my cane. Party poopers.”

  “Let me introduce you to my date, Kyle.” Haley gestures toward me.

  Her date.

  I’m all prepared f
or handshake number four hundred twenty-nine, but get swallowed up in a hug instead. Drawing back, Bunny studies me, eyes narrowing behind her glasses. She stares at me so intently I start to sweat a little. Who is this woman?

  “You be good to my girl, you hear me?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She slaps her knee. “‘Ma’am,’ did you hear that?” Her head turns off to the left and cocks to the side. “There goes Lucy calling me for more pictures. Too many more and I’m going to go blind from that obnoxious flash. I’ll see you two later.”

  Just as quickly as she popped in, she’s gone again.

  “Who was that?”

  “Blaire and Sloane’s grandmother.”

  I frown. “But you’re friends with her, too?”

  Haley lets out a little chuckle. “I told you, it’s complicated.”

  As much as I’d love to hear about all of Haley’s complications, I think that’s enough about them tonight. The past is the past and I’m happy to leave it there. I reach for her hand again, feeling uncharacteristically bold. “So how about that dance?” My heart gallops in my chest as I rub my thumb against her wrist. “You still up for it?”

  I nearly flinch when her other hand finds mine, tangling our fingers together. She tilts her chin to look up at me. “I just need to run to the bathroom first, okay? Then I’m all yours.”

  All mine.

  I could get used to the sound of that.

  Chapter 25

  Haley

  In the past two hours, I’ve had to say the word fine more times than I have in my entire life. I knew tonight was going to be bad, but this is worse than anything I ever imagined. Finding out Luke and Sloane are engaged was the emotional equivalent of stepping into an empty elevator shaft. And when I hit the bottom, it really, really hurt.