Gap Year Project

by Kim O'Cain

  Fall quickly turned into winter and the cold, heavy rains and snow changed the entire landscape. The work turned from outside projects to indoor ones. The entire camp helped with the finishing work for the school—dry wall, electrical, plumbing, painting, hanging blinds and smart boards, and hooking up the computers.

  The units felt so much pride in their work knowing that school kids for decades would spend most of their days in a building they helped create. They also spent time mentoring the students. Showing them how to use tools. Reading to them in the afternoons, even helping serve lunch and snacks on occasion.

  Ashlyn had never experienced being deeply involved in a community. She found that she thrived on it and looked forward to going to work every day. Ashlyn was learning skills she never even considered learning, like installing a sink. Of course, she had supervision and training to help her. But she was for the first time in her life being taught things that she could use forever. Not that she planned on being a plumber, but she knew the basics.

  As each day passed, she became more confident in her ability to learn new things and problem-solve. She began to allow herself to dream of a future where she was in charge of her decisions and her career. It was an exciting prospect.

  She also became closer with her teammates. They were becoming a second family. There was the occasional argument and flared tempers amongst the team members. That was to be expected, being surrounded by these people twenty-four seven. But it was rare. Everyone tried hard to respect each other’s space and opinion. There were lots of heated debates over politics, religion, and sports. But when you’re forced to live with so many people from every corner of the nation, you quickly learn to find common ground.

  In March there was an epic snowstorm in Mount Shasta which was just a short drive from the camp. Derek and Ashlyn had made plans to rent a cabin and go skiing on their next weekend off duty. They hadn’t been able to spend any time alone in several weeks. Ashlyn sensed that she was more upset about it than Derek, but she wasn’t certain. Their last weekend off had ended with Derek hungover and a mess, and Ashlyn unsure about the future.

  Ashlyn was really upset that once again he had chosen to spend his precious and rare time off with his friend instead of her. But she didn’t know this guy or what he was going through, so how could she be upset? Derek was being a good friend. If Stephanie or Alexa needed her help, she would have gone, too. But it didn’t make her feel much better. She wanted to get away from camp just for a few days and be alone with Derek.

  Not only did she miss him when he was gone, but she was even more upset by his behavior. She didn’t like that side of him—the partying. Thankfully, he never did that around her, but knowing that he liked it made her uncomfortable.

  She’d tried stuff in high school, beer, an occasional shot of something rancid, even a few puffs from a joint. But it made her feel so horrible and out of control that she decided not to do it anymore. At first, her friends gave her a hard time about it, but they quickly let it go. And after a while, they no longer wanted to do it, either.

  But this day Ashlyn was euphoric that they were going away for the weekend and would finally enjoy some alone time. They had to keep it on the down-low so no one would find out, which made her very anxious and edgy. But just before breakfast, she got a call from Derek. He was sick with a fever and vomiting. He wasn’t going to be able to go after all.

  “Look, Babe. I’m sorry. But I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I gotta go. I feel horrible,” and he hung up without a good-bye.

  Ashlyn sat on her bunk looking at her phone. So many emotions were running through her mind. Anger—how could he do this again? Concern—I hope he’s okay. Maybe I should bring him some soup. Suspicion—is he really sick? Maybe he’s planning another drunken weekend with his friends. Guilt—how could I think that?

  She let this go on for a while until she couldn’t take it anymore. She had booked a two-bedroom cabin with a ski trail straight from the back door. She was going, even if it meant she’d be alone.

  “Hey, Trish, do you want to go skiing with me this weekend?” she asked, hoping that she didn’t have plans.

  “I’ve never skied, but I’d like to get outta here. I was planning on going to the movies with Kate, but this sounds much more fun than a sappy romantic comedy. I thought you were going to Portland to visit a friend?” asked Trish.

  “Well, plans changed. I’ve got this amazing cabin for the weekend, and I would love some company. Who else is staying the weekend?” asked Ashlyn.

  “Matt and Kate for sure. I think Blake, Sally and Amy are around too,” replied Trish, jumping down from her bunk.

  “It’s got two bedrooms, and there’s a loft. Get packed. I’m going to see if they want to come,” said Ashlyn, jumping up and heading for the cafeteria. She found Kate sitting by herself reading.

  “If Trish is okay with ditching our movie plans, then I’m in. I’m dying to get out of here. I don’t want to spend the rest of the weekend at home. I’ll go pack and meet you in the lobby. Thanks!” said Kate, with a huge smile as she turned and nearly ran to her bunk.

  Ashlyn found Blake just as he was exiting the yurt.

  “Well, I planned to stay and do some work with Matt on the next Gathering. Look, there he is. Let’s go ask him,” said Blake uncertainly.

  “Hey, Matt, want to blow this joint and go skiing for the weekend? I’ve got a cabin. Kate and Trish are in but Blake’s on the fence,” said Ashlyn eagerly.

  “Are you kidding? I’d never pass up a trip to ski. I’m in. Blake?” asked Matt.

  “Okay. I guess we’re going skiing. We’ll meet you in the lobby in twenty minutes,” replied Blake, not so unenthusiastically.

  Ashlyn had rented a car and the bus dropped them off just a few blocks away from the car rental shop. They all crammed into a compact car and headed to the cabin.

  “So, you ski often?” asked Matt.

  “Yep, it’s my favorite sport. I’ve been skiing since I was three. What about you?” she asked.

  “I’ve only been once, but it was awesome. Thanks for inviting me.”

  “Blake? Do much skiing?” asked Kate.

  “No, never,” Blake responded matter-of-factly.

  “That makes two of us. I’ve never been either. I’m not sure I really want to try. The thought of barreling down a mountain is not my idea of a good time,” said Trish qualmishly.

  “Well, there are instructors and lessons. We’ll see what’s happening at the resort. And I can help you, too. You’ll see. You’re gonna love it,” Ashlyn replied.

  They checked into a quaint wood cabin surrounded by trees. It looked more like a chalet than a cabin with a steeply pitched roof and nothing but windows in the back looking out towards the mountain. The driveway was freshly plowed and a foot of snow capped the roof. The front door was a deep maroon, and a sign above it read “Lifters Lodge.”

  From the living room, you could see the resort to the right a few miles away and the line of people on the ski lift in the distance. They all stood and watched for a while before scattering to find their rooms and drop off their stuff.

  Trish and Ashlyn took the master bedroom, which had a king size four poster bed with a red and blue plaid flannel duvet cover and a red fleece blanket folded at the foot. There was a stone fireplace and a large window with two lounge chairs facing it. The master suite came with its own bathroom with a deep clawfoot tub, perfect for soaking after a day on the slopes, and a steam shower.

  Blake and Matt got the kids’ room with full size beds adorned with bright blue matching comforters, a bookshelf with books, cars, and puzzles. The walls were a bright yellow, and the carpet had yellow and blue polka dots. It had two small windows that faced the front yard. Kate got the queen loft with a white linen duvet and a small wooden rocker. It looked down on the living room below where a large stone fireplace was ready to be lit, a dark grey sectional couch with lots of throw pillows and blankets, and a large wooden round table with
board games on a shelf next to it.

  It was cozy and perfect. Ashlyn couldn’t help but feel upset that she wasn’t sharing it alone with Derek. But it was nice to be surrounded by friends that would help keep her mind off him.

  They crammed back into the car and headed to the resort just a few minutes away. On the short ride Ashlyn convinced Trish and Blake to take lessons. She, Matt, and Kate would ski some of the more advanced trails and then meet them for lunch.

  Matt and Kate had already gotten their gear and were putting it on while Ashlyn helped Blake and Trish arrange their lessons. Ashlyn suspected that part of Blake’s hesitation was the cost for this luxurious weekend, so Ashlyn discreetly paid for Blake and Trish. When they asked how much they owed, she told them to repay her by buying her meals. She refused to take their money. Trish smiled and hugged her. Blake looked uncomfortable.

  Ashlyn pulled him aside, “Blake, please. This is my treat. I want you to have some fun and relax and not worry about it. One day when you can, pay me back, or take me on a ski trip. Please don’t let this get weird. I know you don’t like to owe anyone anything. I respect that. But I really want you and Trish to be here. Please?” asked Ashlyn pleadingly.

  “Ok, Waters, but it’s a loan. I’m gonna pay you back,” said Blake, visibly relaxing.

  “So how the heck do you put on this stuff?” he asked, holding an armful of gear.

  Donned in their ski attire, Ashlyn, Matt and Kate hit the trail. Trish and Blake headed to their lesson. Kate and Matt were having a blast. They were at nearly the same level and skied side-by-side down the mountain.

  The threesome decided to end their skiing early and check on Trish and Blake. They made it to the ski lesson area without being noticed. Surprisingly, Trish and Blake were naturals. They had good form and looked as though they were truly enjoying it. But one wrong swerve and Blake fell on his butt, and Trish who was following too close, swerved and fell too. They just sat there laughing at each other as some young kids zipped by them. Kate, Matt and Ashlyn got a good laugh, too.

  After lunch they all went to the bunny slope. Blake turned out to be the best of the bunch besides Ashlyn. The two of them skied in unison for the rest of the afternoon. Both were smiling the entire time.

  Ashlyn’s heart was so full at seeing her friend transform from a worrywart into a confident and happy skier. She knew that he had found a new passion.

  They left after dinner and retold stories from the day and even reenacted some of the more epic falls. Everyone was wired but exhausted. Slowly the group got smaller as people left to go to bed. Ashlyn and Blake were the last ones up.

  “I’m really glad that you came, Blake. I think you’re going to want to go skiing all the time now. You were great out there,” said Ashlyn smiling.

  “Yeah, I had no idea how freeing it is to fly down a mountain with the wind blowing in your face and trees all around. It’s beautiful. Wow. I can’t wait to go again tomorrow,” he replied, with a huge smile and twinkle in his eyes.

  “You’re hooked. Well, I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Blake. Race you tomorrow?” Ashlyn said, rising from the couch and heading to her room.

  “You’re on, Waters,” he replied enthusiastically.

  She looked back at Blake to see his profile lit by the fire. He was still smiling and reliving the events of the day. She went to bed happy and content. And then she thought, would I have been this happy alone with Derek? It would have been different. But yes, she thought she would have been very happy indeed. She hoped that he was feeling better.

  The next day was one blur of snow and trees and friends laughing. They got back to camp just before dinner. Ashlyn immediately called Derek. Surprisingly, he sounded fine. He told her it left as quickly as it came. No trace of a fever or being sick. She felt guilty that he hadn’t been able to enjoy the weekend at the cabin, but she was happy that he wasn’t sick anymore.

  Derek and Ashlyn sat together at dinner with the rest of the ski gang. He got to hear all about their adventures. She tried to play it low key, but they were all still hyped-up. Derek seemed distracted and uptight. Very unlike him. Maybe he was more upset about not being able to go than Ashlyn realized.

  “Are you okay? You seem tense and anxious. I know it must be hard for you to hear them talk about how much fun it was. I’m sorry that we weren’t able to be together. I really missed you. But we’ll have another chance in a few months,” whispered Ashlyn, hoping that would put him at ease.

  He was looking around at some of his own team members, and they winked and gave him the thumbs up. It struck her as odd, but maybe he had been very sick, and they were glad to see him up and feeling better.

  “Yeah, I know. I missed you, too. But I’m glad you had fun. We’ll have next time,” he replied, shoving lasagna into his mouth but not looking at Ashlyn.

  Chapter 11. Waters Rise

  Ashlyn could hardly believe that eight months had already passed. She was in the best shape of her life. She could run ten miles and still sing without getting out of breath. She could lift a hundred-pound log by herself. She learned to repair roofs, lay concrete, install wooden posts, clear invasive plants, plant trees, trim trees, and build benches. She wanted to hike every day and be in nature.

  Who had she become? Ashlyn was a completely different person—a better person. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw someone she hadn’t seen before. Someone, who for the first time, felt in control and truly happy. Not just temporarily high from finding an amazing purse at Barney’s or to-die-for shoes at Jimmy Choo’s.

  She had made deep and hopefully lasting friendships with not only her own teammates, but people from other units. Ashlyn was genuinely interested in the work that GYP was doing for this community and others like it. She took pride in the Gathering ceremonies that she was involved in creating. She wanted to make the new recruits feel like part of something much bigger than themselves, yet an integral part of their own team and camp.

  One of her favorite things was visiting the school and working in the learning garden. The program included working with the school kids and helping them with the vegetable garden. Every two weeks, they would harvest the veggies and cook recipes the kids brought from home, found online, or in books from the library. Working the soil, planting, and then watching life spring up from the ground was fascinating. But watching the kids take ownership of their garden was even more special.

  “The kids and plants are so much alike. Just give them a good foundation, special attention, and the right nutrients and bam, they grow up strong and proud and full of life,” said Blake, as he watched Ashlyn watching them check the plants for insects.

  “It’s really amazing how much they’ve all grown in just a few months. I’m proud of our work. I’m going to miss coming here,” said Ashlyn quietly.

  “So, have you told your dad yet?” asked Blake.

  “No, not yet. I’m debating about telling him in person. But I know I have to do it soon. I’ve already called the university to find out more about the landscape architecture program. I hope it doesn’t get back to him before I can tell him,” replied Ashlyn nervously.

  “Why is this so hard? When I think about it I have so much courage. But when I go to make that call, I just crumble. What about you? Are you going to MIT?” asked Ashlyn.

  “Yeah, I’m going. I know that’s what I really want, and I’ll be able to really care for my family after that. I told my mom yesterday. She didn’t take it well at all. It was awful. She cried and yelled and said I was abandoning her just like my father. That hurt, but I know she didn’t really mean it. I know deep down she wants me to be happy. But how can she be happy for me when she can’t find it for herself?” said Blake.

  “Blake, I’m sorry. I knew it was not going to be easy for you. But it’s the right choice. You’re doing the right thing. And you’ve given me the courage. I’m going to tell my parents tonight. I can’t keep putting this off and staying stressed. I’m going to follow your lead and do
it,” replied Ashlyn, with conviction.

  “You know, I don’t think I would have done this without you. So, thanks. I know it’s the right thing, and I know it’s going to be tough. But when I think about the discoveries that I might be part of, it’s incredible. Who knows, maybe I’ll name some galaxy after you one day. That’s better than some building with your name on it, right?” said Blake, smiling his lopsided grin.

  “For sure. A whole galaxy of my own. Now that’s something to look forward to. I’m proud of you for going after your dream. You deserve it, Blake,” said Ashlyn.

  At the mention of a galaxy, Ashlyn thought about the glow-in-the-dark galaxy stickers she had bought him but never given him. Now she felt it was the right time. She’d give them to him in the next few days.

  She felt truly happy for her friend. And she hoped that she could keep up the courage to tell her parents that night.

  Ashlyn could hardly sit still through class and dinner. She was so nervous about telling her parents that she couldn’t eat, even though they were serving her favorite—baked salmon with steamed kale and fresh sourdough bread.

  “What’s wrong? You’re vibrating like a live wire,” said Derek at dinner.

  “I decided to tell my parents that I’m going to be a landscape architect and start my own firm when I graduate,” blurted out Ashlyn, more forcefully than she expected.

  “Settle down now. Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, if you got a future already in the bag with a partnership in one of the most reputable and successful firms in the world, why throw that away?” Derek couldn’t believe she was still considering doing this.

  “I wouldn’t do it. You’ve got it so easy. Why rock the boat?” asked Derek, with a mouth full of bread.

  “You really don’t think I should follow my own dream? Why didn’t you say that before?” asked Ashlyn.