Gap Year Project

by Kim O'Cain

  Blake just stood there for a few seconds staring at her and slightly shook his head like he was disappointed in her. That made her even more embarrassed, and she could feel her cheeks get even redder.

  “There’s a tree down in Logger Lane. We’re on tree removal detail. Come on, Waters, let’s go to work,” said Blake, all business like.

  She so desperately wanted to talk to Derek and tell him what happened. It would have to wait until later. Throughout the day Ashlyn kept going over the conversation with her mom and Blake. They both seemed disappointed in her and that hurt. She couldn’t figure why Blake would be upset. Did he really think she should have stuck with architecture?

  It wasn’t until almost nine before Ashlyn had a chance to see Derek. She was exhausted from work but amped to be with him. His smile always lifted her spirits.

  “Hey, Babe. What’s going on? You’re back really late,” said Derek, looking a little concerned.

  “I’m fine. We had to a remove a redwood from Logger Lane. It was huge. I’m tired. But I’ve got to tell you what happened yesterday. My mom finally called me. She told me this long story about my dad being forced into the business, and he just wants to keep it going. Just like you said, but I’m not going to do it. I know with all my heart that my decision to go on my own is the best choice for me, and I’ll be successful. But it means I’m cut off—completely. It’s odd, but I feel so much better now.”

  “Wow. You don’t think this is crazy to give it all up? You’re really going through with this?” Derek asked, surprised that Ashlyn would throw it all away for a job she didn’t even have yet.

  “Well, kudos to you. You know what you want, and you’re going to do it. It’s gonna be tough. But you love a good challenge, and you’ve got connections. You’ll be fine. I’m sure,” said Derek, somewhat unenthusiastically. Ashlyn didn’t notice. She was so revved up again just talking about her future.

  “I’m going to call them again tomorrow and let them know my final decision. I don’t know what will happen. I hope they can support me, but if not, oh well,” she said and hugged him goodbye before dashing to her yurt.

  The next day Ashlyn’s stomach was in a knot. Right after dinner she called her parents’.

  “Dad, Mom. I’ve been thinking, and I am going to be a landscape architect and start my own firm. I respect and love you both. Dad, you have given me everything, and I know that I took that for granted. I’m sorry. I appreciate that you want me to work side-by-side with you, and that is an honor that I’ll never forget. But I found what makes me happy. I want to create learning gardens and community gardens. And I need to do it on my terms,” Ashlyn said with pride and excitement about her decision

  “I realize that I’m giving up everything. I don’t take this lightly, but it’s like Einstein said, ‘I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.’ How many times did I hear you say that, Dad? Thousands of times.”

  “I don’t want to lose you. I love you both. And I hope that one day you will be proud of me and want me in your life,” Ashlyn said, barely taking a breath.

  There was a long silence and a click. The phone went dead. Her parents had hung up on her and in doing so, let her go completely.

  Ashlyn was stunned. She sat staring at her phone for what seemed like an hour before she could move. She really thought they would come around and support her. But she was really on her own now. She felt a huge hole in her heart and scared for the second time in her life. But she would not bend on this.

  She needed a walk and some clarity. The camp was quiet and only a few people were outside. She was still numb to the news but with each step, she regained a little bit of herself. Derek was right. She had a lot of connections. She would make some calls and figure out where to go and what to do. She certainly wasn’t alone. She had made so many friendships just in the few months she’d been at GYP These people had become her family. That gave her so much peace.

  She was near the Milton Bridge when she heard the curfew call. She ran as fast as she could back to camp and barely made it as Jefferies was closing the door to the yurt.

  “Waters, you’re late. Don’t let it happen again,” barked Jefferies as he opened the door to let her inside.

  “Yes, sir. Thank you,” she said, and ran upstairs two steps at a time thankful that he hadn’t made a bigger deal about it.

  Trish was still awake and glad to see Ashlyn.

  “How’s it going?” she asked hesitantly.

  “I’m fine. I don’t want to talk right now. But I’m okay,” replied Ashlyn, trying to make herself really believe it. It had been a final and hard blow. Even though in her heart she knew she was ultimately making the right decision, it was nonetheless very real and very painful to think her parents wouldn’t be part of her life.

  She needed time to figure it all out and much longer to heal from the rejection. That night she thought about all the amazing trips they had taken together, all the wonderful birthday parties, all the quiet evenings eating dinner together. She would never forget those memories. She would never stop loving her parents. But she would make it on her own. She had to prove to herself that she had made the right decision. And maybe one day they would see that too and welcome her back.

  “Well, I’m officially on my own—a one woman show. I get to call all my shots and figure out how to pay for it all. It’s daunting but exhilarating,” said Ashlyn to Blake, as they made their way to the Gathering meeting.

  “You’re gonna be fine. I’ve never seen you back down from anything. Where are you going after U.S.A?” asked Blake.

  “I’ve got friends all over. I don’t think I’ll have a hard time finding a place to stay until school starts. Tuition is the part that I still need to figure out. I will. Just like you,” replied Ashlyn, hopeful for the future and glad that she was able to share this with Blake.

  “Oh, before I forget, this is for you,” said Ashlyn as she handed Blake a paper bag.

  “What’s this?” he asked, intrigued at the small, flat bag. He opened it, saw the stickers, then looked at Ashlyn with his lopsided grin.

  “Thanks,” he said, and gave her a gentle punch on the shoulder.

  “I know it’s a little corny, but I saw these and thought about you following your dreams. Anyway, I wanted you to have it as a reminder,” replied Ashlyn sheepishly.

  Blake kept smiling, “Cool. Guess we better get to the meeting or Matt will never let us live down being late again.”

  Ashlyn was thankful to have the Gathering to distract her for a little while before she sat down and made a plan for the rest of her life. The meeting ran long as they developed a new strategy for the next round of recruits. This time the Gathering tasks would include an obstacle course using the training grounds, an archery competition (Blake’s idea), building a shelter and, for fun, a sumo wrestling game with sumo suits. They thought this could be used for marketing to attract more volunteers, since the draft had been enacted for the latest round of recruits.

  The next month was filled with making plans, working on the Gathering, finding living arrangements, figuring out tuition, and work. She was going to stay with Stephanie in Manhattan. Stephanie’s parents had a penthouse on the Upper East Side with four extra rooms. So, she wouldn’t be in their way at all. She had called the school to find out about financial aid. But the staff person didn’t think her joke was too funny. She couldn’t convince her that it wasn’t a joke, and she had no money for school, books or living expenses.

  She finally decided to call her godmother, Isabella, her mom’s sister and ask for a loan. Isabella didn’t like Ashlyn’s dad. She never thought he was good enough for her sister. She tolerated him—but barely. So, when Ashlyn asked for help, Isabella was only too happy to help her favorite niece. She couldn’t believe her own sister had disowned her daughter over a career choice. She offered her a home in Connecticut, but Ashlyn didn’t want to rock the boat any more than she had to. She knew her mom would be pissed if
she found out that Isabella was helping her. Ashlyn sort of felt bad about taking the loan, but not enough to reject it. Besides, it was a family loan with no interest. She could take as long as she needed to pay it off. She wasn’t about to pass up that offer.

  Derek and Ashlyn didn’t get to see each other very much the last weeks of service. But when they did, it was fun and relaxing. He was great at keeping things light and easy going. That’s what she wanted, and needed, for the remainder of her time at GYP Derek’s school plans were solidly in place. It was beginning to dawn on Ashlyn that in a few weeks they would go their separate ways - she back to New York and he to Cambridge. It wasn’t far, but it wasn’t that close either. They talked about getting together on weekends, but no definitive plans were made.

  They were so busy at camp that it was hard to make plans at all. Summer was just around the corner and so much work needed to be done to get the park ready for visitors. Different units were paired together to finish projects on time for the park to open for the season.

  There was a sense of urgency and excitement. Many of the JRs would be leaving just as a new group of recruits were starting. It was a never-ending wave. Those leaving, taking so many new ideas, memories, and skills with them and those arriving, open to new adventures and friendships. And in between a lot of hard work, leaving behind indelible marks on the community around them.

  It was bittersweet to be part of the Gathering—to say hello and goodbye. And this one was going down in the record books. The sumo wrestling was a huge hit, and the social media explosion that happened as a result had an immediate impact on sign-ups.

  Everyone got to try it, and the laughter was contagious. Ashlyn’s sides hurt so much. At times she could barely breathe. Even the Rangers got in on it. To see Jefferies and Chuck go at it was truly hysterical. And she was not so secretly happy that Chuck won. Jefferies smiled. It was a nice smile that showed perfectly white straight teeth. Too bad he didn’t smile more often, he looked relatable and likeable.

  The night ended on a very happy note, and the next day was geared up to be another fun adventure. As part of the Birchers championship win, they would get their two extra days off that weekend.

  All of them were on tight budgets with college looming in the fall. So, they decided to camp in a park about an hour east that was open year-round. They borrowed supplies from camp and arranged to have the camp bus drop them off on Saturday morning and pick them up Sunday afternoon.

  They had food from the cafeteria and commissary. Everyone would take turns preparing meals. It was the first time Ashlyn camped in a tent in the wilderness. She was ecstatic. She still couldn’t believe how much she enjoyed being outdoors, and all the icky, creepy, crawly things that used to terrify her no longer bothered her at all. Now she would stand for moments at a time in awe of a spider web that glistened in the morning dew, showing off its builder’s ability to weave intricate geometric patterns. The rustling in the leaves no longer scared her to death. She knew it was likely some hungry birds searching for worms or seeds or nuts.

  On the ride to the campsite, she thought about how she felt when she first arrived in Orick. Nature jail is what came to mind. Now she felt so free. When did it stop being nature jail and start becoming enjoyable? She couldn’t think of the one moment that changed her mind. It was an evolution. As she stopped resisting her situation, she began to open-up to the possibilities, to the beauty of the nature surrounding her, and to the people and leaders around her. She was going to miss this place. It provided safety and unity. She would never trade this experience for anything.

  Ashlyn wondered what it would be like to reenter the crazy, busy, noisy city after a year of seclusion in the woods. She really wanted to see her friends and eat at her favorite restaurants. But she wasn’t sure she would ever feel completely at home there again. For now, she was going to enjoy every moment in nature.

  Tent camping was another adventure in self-discovery and communal living. It took her an hour to figure out how to put up her tent, because she refused help. When she finished putting on the fly, she felt proud that she had figured it out on her own. Everyone else was done long before she was and had already set up the kitchen, hammocks, and a game table. They put all the food in the locked containers to keep out bears before gearing up for an eight-mile hike to see some of the best waterfalls on the West Coast.

  With backpacks full of snacks and water, they headed out together, all twenty members of the Birch Unit. They were a tight knit group that respected each other and, just as importantly, had a lot of fun together. There were always practical jokes and bantering amongst them. Today was no different. But there was also the realization that this was their last time all together as friends just hanging out. They’d go back to Orick tomorrow and for a few more weeks complete their duties then take off to start their own lives and new beginnings. It was bittersweet.

  Ashlyn felt so alive. She was with friends that supported her. She was working towards her goal. She was apprehensive and exhilarated. It still hurt that her parents had not called her, but she knew that eventually they would come around. She was their only child. They were hurt and needed time to heal their wounds. They also needed to see that she was serious and that she could do this on her own. Whatever the reason, she still loved them and kept them in her thoughts.

  She also had a lot of time to think about Derek and their future. She needed him in her life. He was the antidote to her seriousness. He was more carefree and relaxed. He didn’t let things bother him. But she also noticed that he also didn’t set high standards for himself, either. She didn’t think it was because he was lazy, but, rather, he wasn’t compelled to do more. He seemed content with his life most of the time.

  She hoped they would have time over the summer to deepen their relationship. She thought they could camp for a while and maybe stay at his parents’ summer house in the Hamptons for a few weeks. Another amazing adventure to look forward to.

  Chapter 12. Take A Hike

  On Monday Birch and Oak units were assigned to Fire Canyon. Small groups from the units were formed to tackle the last projects before the park opened for the season. There was trail repair, signage installations, restroom roof repairs, and parking lot pothole repairs.

  Ashlyn was beside herself to be paired with Derek that day to complete the repair of Fire Canyon’s many footbridges before the start of the summer season in just a few days.

  It was so hard to believe that a whole year had nearly gone by. She was a such a different person—stronger, more confident, more tolerant, and a nature lover to her own surprise. She would deeply miss this paradise, the trees, and the people who had become her family. She couldn’t really see herself going back to her old way of life. Shopping, glitzy extravagant parties and days spent wasted on nothing of importance seemed so unappealing and a little sickening to her. She still wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do the last month before she moved in with Stephanie and started school.

  Derek came up from behind her and grabbed her around the waist pulling her up into the air. She was startled at first but loved his playfulness. He placed her back on the ground and started collecting the tools for the day’s job. He handed her a bag, and they began walking the four-mile trail to the low-lying area near the creek which had filled with rushing water after the spring rains, making it difficult to cross in several places without the temporary wooden foot bridges. It was their job to repair the bridges that had been left on higher ground the year before and move them to key locations for visitors to safely cross the creek as it flowed to the Pacific.

  As they hiked, they retold stories from the many adventures or in most cases, misadventures they had since arriving. Laughing and having fun but keeping a watch out for dangers in and around the trail. The crack of a branch nearby would cause them to stop and assess the situation. Was it a bird just hopping around or a squirrel looking for food? Or was it something bigger that required them to be more alert? Within a few hours they ma
de it to the end of the trail before it quickly descended next to the creek. They easily spotted the bright blue tarps covering the footbridges and carefully pulled them off, hoping that no unwanted critters were lurking there waiting for them. Luckily, just crickets jumped from under the wood decking and scattered away from them.

  For the most part, the foot bridges were in good shape. There were a few rotted pieces which would take only a few minutes to repair. All the wood was thoroughly checked, and additional nails hammered into place to keep them strong enough for the pounding they were going to take.

  Once that task was done, they left the bridges in place and went to scope out the areas that would need them. There were seven bridges, and Ashlyn and Derek had been given a map of the previous year’s locations.

  They quickly found the spots and determined that the majority of the sites were still appropriate passageways. They left markers and then marked on the map the size of bridge needed. Only two areas had grown in width and the old bridges would not work. Within half an hour they had found suitable sites for those bridges.

  After a short lunch break of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and green apples, they set off with the first bridge. Derek and Ashlyn had always worked well together. They communicated well and were patient with one another. Their relationship was solid. For a second, she thought of Blake and how silly she had been to think he was the one for her after only a split-second meeting on a crowded street in New York.

  She stole a glance at Derek’s muscled arms and back which she could see through his white t-shirt and his firm butt in his tight pants. He was a hottie. And she couldn’t stop smiling.

  She had gone from hating this place to loving it and falling in love. Ashlyn had no regrets for this experience. She wanted everyone she knew to come here and do it, too. How can you really explain the transformation, the beauty, the camaraderie?