The Lemonade Year

by Amy Willoughby-Burle

  “Everywhere,” I say to her now, the two of us in the rocking chairs, Ray with his family, Dad on the porch rail, Mom eating pie with Cassie, and my Jack and her Chris waiting to see what is waiting for them.

  “I always felt like you were my fortress,” she says. “The wall keeping out everything that could hurt me. What will I do without it?”

  “What I should have let you do all along.”

  “Fend for myself,” she says, joking.

  “No,” I say, less of a joke. “Let you face the world.”

  “What if there’s an army of angry villagers out there?”

  “Then you call in Ray,” I say. “You know he orbits you like you’re the sun.”

  She nods. I know she will miss him more than she misses me in many ways. I’m ok with that.

  “And besides,” I say. “What if it’s your handsome prince outside the wall, lost in the woods and tired of fending off insurance questions?”

  “We’ve really got to learn to face life without our internal movie cameras on,” Lola says.

  “That would take all the fun out.”

  “You did always make it fun.”

  “Promise me something.”

  “What?”

  “That you won’t film the wedding scene without us.”

  “Wouldn’t dare,” she says and then winks at me. “I’m going to take Dad in before he falls off the porch. Should I send Jack out?”

  “You requested my presence?” Jack says.

  I stand up and he takes my hand.

  “Come with me,” I say and lead us down the porch steps.

  “This isn’t going to involve another shovel, is it?” Jack asks, although he doesn’t hesitate.

  “No,” I say. “I want to show you something.”

  I lead us out into the backyard. The feel of his hand around mine is pressure and release at the same time. Way back in the corner of the yard, by the hydrangea that is not in bloom now, is a dogwood tree—bare and patient. Hanging midway up is a metal mobile.

  “What’s that?” Jack asks when I point it out.

  “Something I forgot about. Something I made a long time ago.”

  The cold evening breeze blows a chill through the metal memory and it clink-clanks, clink-clanks all around us. Jack looks up into the branches, but I look at him.

  “What?” He smiles when he looks back down and meets my eyes.

  “I made something out of what wasn’t supposed to have been.” I look at the pieces of Lola’s leg braces held together with wire. “I took the pieces and strung them together.”

  “Whose shoes are those?” Jack points to the smallish blue Converse sneakers wired amidst the metal.

  “Ray’s,” I say, remembering the night I stole them from his room. “I took them not long after the accident. Years before the braces came off. I hid them in my closet.”

  I hadn’t known why I needed to take the shoes. But I put them in a box and let them wait until the time was right.

  “That’s the way life goes,” I say. “You take the bits and pieces, and one day it makes something you didn’t expect.”

  “Is this one of those things?” Jack puts his arms around me, pulling me to him.

  “I believe it is.”

  “Good,” Jack says. “I’m not letting go this time.”

  Jack closes his eyes and releases a breath so hard it seems he must have been holding it since we parted. He kisses me, soft and somewhat hesitant at first, but then his arms tighten around me and his lips press sure and sweet over my own. Jack’s body is warm and right against mine, and his arms hold me together in all the places I was afraid had fallen apart.

  ◆ ◆ ◆

  Later, when Jack and I go back inside to collect Cassie and say good-bye to Mom, I find Dad back on the kitchen table. The house is warm and still smells of spice pie and turkey. Tomorrow, as tradition, we’ll search for a Christmas tree, then come home to hot cocoa and tree trimming and tales of Christmases past.

  I hope Lola will bring Chris and share some time with us before they head off to Peru and whatever adventure comes after that. I hope Nicole and Michael will come, making an old tradition new. I hope Ray will let loose his devils. I hope I will too. I hope.

  I leave Jack and Cassie in the kitchen with Mom. I pick up Dad and take him to the living room. I set the urn on the mantel and step back to evaluate the placement.

  “I think we’re going to be ok, Dad,” I say. “And don’t worry, I promise I won’t strap you in the front seat tomorrow and take you to the Christmas tree lot.”

  Pick out a big one, Sweet Pea. Don’t worry if there are a few too many wonky branches. It’s better that way.

  It’s amazing, how life is laid out. The way we have to ride through the laughter and the tears. How hope is a release into the space around everything that hurts, giving all our pain somewhere to go, so that peace can find its way home.

  Acknowledgments

  What a blessing it is to have an opportunity to thank people for helping me reach this part of my publishing journey. First, I thank and praise God for all the undeserved but so greatly appreciated blessings in my life, one of which is this book and the chance to see it in print.

  I thank my husband, R.J. Burle, for his unfailing support and encouragement. People always ask me how I find the time to write amid raising four children, teaching, and keeping the day-to-day world of my family spinning. God gave me a partner in life and love who has my back at every turn, and as far as writing goes, that means graciously taking over household and kid duty while I head to a nearby bookstore to write.

  I also thank my children, who don’t begrudge their mother the time to write and work toward a goal. I hope they will see it as an example of how important it is to pursue their own dreams, whatever they may be.

  I thank my mother and father and well as my brother and sister—about whom this book is not. Except for the love—that part is true. Family is a delicate thing. If we’re lucky (and I was), we come out with an understanding of unconditional love and unflappable dedication. Family is our first knowledge of self and where we fit into this world. All my love and devotion to you, my first loves, always.

  Thank you to the myriad writers who have helped me along the way, including Luke Whisnant, my first writing teacher at East Carolina University. Long had I held the secret desire to be a writer, but not until that first class did I believe it a real possibility. Thank you to my very first writer’s group: Luke, Heather Burt, Chip and the late Ann Sullivan, and some others who came and went along the way. Thank you to Judi Hill and all the writers at Wildacres Writer’s Workshop. Thank you to the Missouri writing groups who showed me the importance of having a trusted writing community as well as the value of having friends who write. Thank you, Samantha Redstreake Geary, my current writing partner in crime—I mean, fiction—for keeping my creative soul alive and well fed.

  Thank you to my amazing agent, Julie Gwinn. I knew as soon as I saw your listing that you were the agent God had selected for me, and although I’m not right about much, I had that one pegged. I couldn’t be happier.

  Thank you to Lisa Mangum, my editor, for falling in love with these characters and working on their behalf in a way that humbles and delights me, thus making this book everything I meant for it to be. Thank you to everyone at Shadow Mountain Publishing for make this dream come true, especially Heidi Taylor Gordon.

  Thank you Malaprop’s Bookstore in Asheville, North Carolina, for letting me take up a seat in the café for hours at a time writing, plotting, planning, and dreaming. (I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee even now as I write these acknowledgments.)

  And finally, although I already thanked Him (once is never enough), I give my undying gratitude to God for every breath I take. It’s all your design, and I am happy to be a part of it.

  Discussi
on Questions

  1.Mother and daughter relationships are central in this novel. What are some opportunities that Nina has either missed or taken in order to have a better relationship with her daughter as well as with her own mother? Where did Nina and her mother fail or succeed in their relationship?

  2.The theme of fatherhood also runs throughout this story. Discuss the fathers in this novel and the roles they play. Discuss the roles that men play in a family as a whole and how their absence and/or presence is felt.

  3.Family is the tie that binds, but those bonds can sometimes feel like restraints. Discuss the ways in which family ties are used in this story. To what degree are those constraints true or the product of misunderstandings?

  4.In this novel, Nina wants desperately to achieve a goal that is out of her control. What role does Nina’s own desperation play in the demise of her marriage? Have you ever let your own desires for something negatively affect a relationship? Were you able to see it in time to save that connection? If so, how did you change the course of your thoughts and actions? If not, what would you do in hindsight to have kept the relationship intact?

  5.Hindsight is 20/20. Characters often misunderstand each other throughout this story. What are some of the major misunderstandings or misconceptions that affected the lives of these characters?

  6.Both Nina and Oliver are looking for the right path for their lives. Each has a hesitation that is brought on by fear. What fears are keeping them from their true paths? Have you ever hesitated to follow your true path because of fear? What was that path and the fear that kept you from seeking it? What did you ultimately do, and would you do anything differently if you had a chance?

  7.The unique connection between siblings is a powerful part of this story. Despite the tensions within the family, Nina, Lola, and Ray have a bond that, although tested, seems unbreakable. Discuss the importance of this familial bond and the role it plays in shaping our ideas of love as well as the length to which we go for others in our lives.

  8.Nina is experiencing a lemonade year. Everything that can go wrong seems to be going that way. Some of these things are considerable losses. Discuss her ability or inability to reach out for help and to recover from loss. How does that affect her decisions throughout the novel? Are there losses from which you have not recovered? What avenues for help have you sought or rejected that might make a difference to you?

  9.There is a family secret at the heart of the hard feelings and dysfunction within Nina’s childhood family. Do you think Ray, Nina, and Nate were asked to go too far in keeping that secret? What role does truth play in the outcome of this family’s life? Nina asks if things would have been better had they all been truthful. When there may be no clear cut path to follow, how do you decide what to do?

  10.When Nina notices a cross hanging on the wall of Oliver’s house, she asks him if he’s religious. He answers with the question “Would it bother you if I was?” Is there something about yourself or a loved one that you have hidden or avoided because you thought you would be judged because of it? Discuss the outcome.

  11.Reconciliation and forgiveness are important themes in this novel. Discuss the scenarios in which the characters have an opportunity to both give and receive forgiveness (Nina with her mother, daughter, and/or ex-husband) and the incidents in which a character may not be able to (Ray with his deceased father). Discuss the characters’ ability or inability to forgive themselves. Have you ever given or withheld these gifts, or had them given or withheld from you? How has that affected the story of your own life?

  12.The book ends with hope and the possibility to begin again. Discuss the ways in which Nina, Ray, Lola, Jack, and Oliver have a chance to begin again. Based on what you know of these characters, what are your predictions for their futures?

  Interview with the Author

  Q What inspired you to write The Lemonade Year?

  The voices in my head—and one from the backseat of my car. I typically start by hearing a character speaking like I’m overhearing a conversation in a café. Not out loud—don’t have me committed yet—it’s more like I hear it in the part of my brain that won’t stop making up stories no matter how much laundry there is to do.

  Nina came to me, telling me the story of a childhood trip to Disney World in which her father took care of her at a time when her mother couldn’t. It was a nice memory, but then I realized that her father had just died and she was brokenhearted. She didn’t tell me outright at first, but her marriage was also in trouble and her sister was suffering from some sort of strange illness, and I felt so sad for Nina. Everything that could go wrong seemed to be going that way.

  Her story was originally a short story, entitled “The Conspicuous Absence of Knowing,” mostly because Nina wasn’t all that eager to share her thoughts with me (typical Nina) and it took a while for her to open up.

  Once I started writing her story as a novel, I was thinking about a title and my youngest daughter, Delia, was singing a made-up song in the backseat of the car. She sang the line, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Bam, there it was. Life had given Nina all kinds of lemons. This was her lemonade year.

  Q What was the hardest part of writing this book? What were some of the obstacles you had to overcome?

  For me, the hardest part of writing any book is that I don’t typically write chronologically. And I’m not a big “pre-plotter,” which makes figuring out what’s going on difficult sometimes. Usually I hear a voice or see an image and then I start writing so I can uncover what it’s all about. Along the way, I take some wrong turns and spend time off in the weeds. But sooner or later, one of my characters will get me back on track by doing or saying something that I hadn’t expected.

  Even though my method results in a huge chunks of “highlight and delete,” I actually love when that happens, because it sets me back on course. I love the revising and editing stages of writing, but one of the things that is hard for me to accept is when I know that something I’ve been trying to make work just isn’t right for the book.

  This book has taught me a great deal about letting the true story unfold. I’m glad I did. I couldn’t be happier.

  Q Nina’s relationship with her family is at the heart of this book. Tell us a little about your own family, both growing up and now.

  My family is my heart. No one’s family is perfect, and mine wasn’t (isn’t) either, but one of the greatest lessons that I learned—and one that continues to be reinforced for me—is that no matter the issue, there is no giving up on anyone. I can’t think of anything I could do that would cause my family to shut the door to me and vice versa.

  While The Lemonade Year is not the story of my childhood, I do have a brother and a sister, for whom I would stop the universe if need be. My parents are not Nina’s parents, but they are the sun and moon to my little world.

  God has blessed me with four kids and a patient and loving husband, and my family is everything to me. We’re learning and growing together. I probably mess up as often as I get it right, but then again, there is no right, only love.

  Q Nina learns to find peace and hope in her life and her relationships. What would you say to a reader who might be struggling to find that same peace and hope?

  There’s a place in the book where Nina’s mother tells her to “let go.” Pardon my getting very personal, but for me, the ability to let go and find peace is found in my relationship with Jesus. I turn to Him for everything from lost keys to surviving personal devastation. Things don’t always turn out the way I want them to, but I am able to be at peace because He’s with me.

  I find hope in knowing that it’s not my job to control the turnings of the world. Someone with a better understanding than I have is running the show. My hope is found in Jesus and in the knowledge of His love. I would tell readers to reach out for help when you need it. You are not alone. God is with you.

 
Q You’ve written both short fiction and novels. How do you decide which format to use for your stories? Do you find one length easier to write than the other?

  I joke that I have two word counts—either 1,000 words or 100,000. I don’t decide on the length, the characters do. I always aim to tell the whole story when I start out, and sometimes as that 1,000-word mark approaches, I know that I’ve told all those characters needed me to tell. But sometimes I know I haven’t, and in those cases, I take a breath and stare off into space for a moment while the reality sinks in, and then I say to them, “Ok, guys, here we go,” and I start a new novel.

  Q Fast Five Favorites!

  Favorite book: Could I get an easier question, like “What is the meaning of life?” I’ve been in love with so many books, I couldn’t narrow it down to just one, and the answer would change in a month anyway. I will say that the book I’ve read the most number of times is Hula by Lisa Shea. It’s the first book I fell in love with as a grown-up reader.

  Favorite movie: Too many to name! My husband can attest that I will watch the same movie over and over until I can practically recite it. I love stories no matter what form they are in. I’m a sucker for a romantic dramedy, especially if it’s heavy on character and relationships. But no jump scares, please, my startle reflex is too strong and I don’t want to knock over my snacks.

  Favorite food: Sushi. (Wow, I answered that in one word!)

  Favorite place to vacation: Pioneer Park, Lake Michigan. I grew up in Kure Beach, North Carolina, and now live in Asheville, North Carolina, so I’ve been blessed to live every day in vacation spots. Lake Michigan is beautiful, but it’s my favorite because it’s a week-long campout with family. Each year, relatives that I don’t see often enough meet there for a reunion. Campfires, cookouts, gorgeous sunsets and all day to relax with family—my favorite.