Rage of Winter

by Sam Herrera

  “Dim the lights,” I told Mara, sitting beside me in the cockpit. Nodding, she turned them off, leaving us all in shadow apart from our torches, then lowered the ramp. I gratefully inhaled the chilled, fresh air. There was so little chance for it in the caves. I’d heard people went nuts from the claustrophobia and the sense of injustice from having to be here at all. I could relate even though I was used to it; their right to freedom of speech and religion had been stolen from them. I led the well-wrapped mourners, shivering in the cold air, to the spot we’d chosen. Sam and Caleb carried the cloth-wrapped body between them. Caleb, his eyes ringed and red, began to read out a slow, sad melody from a sheet of paper:

  “On wings, I flew, guided by you. My father. My aid.

  You were our rock. Through you, we were made.

  You were there in my tears and there in my joy.

  You offered more than a cuddly toy.

  When we were down, you lifted us.

  When we were broken, you fixed us.

  When all seemed dark, you saw the light.

  You refused to go down without a fight.

  Even though you and I are forever apart,

  I will never forget you and your warm, loving heart.”

  I smiled, hearing Mara’s voice through his. She was always the wordsmith while he was the artist. She, opposite the grave, smiled at me, reading my mind.

  “You saved so many of us and you were one of the bravest of us. We will miss you,” Sam said.

  “You were more than just a fellow believer to me: you were like my brother. Even though you were afraid, you never gave up on us. Goodbye,” Richard said.

  When my turn came, I drew a blank. I just could not think of anything to say.

  “Goodbye, my friend,” I whispered, just copying Richard now. We stood and watched as Caleb and Sam began digging the grave. In about half an hour David Grey was buried under a patch of sand that looked no different to the rest of the desert. A rough crucifix, made from two sticks tied together with rope, was placed to mark it because we could not afford to have anything lasting or distinguishing in these dangerous times. I caught up with Mara as the mourners began to disperse.

  “I’m guessing you wrote that?”

  “Of course,” she smiled. “Who else would?” We both smiled down at Ryan as he squirmed in his mother’s arms, wondering no doubt when his next meal was coming. “Honestly, I wrote the words, but Caleb spoke from his heart.”

  “Yeah. I’m happy for you two.” I grew distant, as I always did, whenever the painful topic of marriage and children came up. This whole funeral was one huge, painful reminder of all I had lost and I resented it. David Grey deserved to be mourned and remembered, sure; everything they were saying about him was true. But all I could see now was fucking Sarah and fucking Michael and I didn’t need it. I smiled slightly and let the tension go, feeling Mara lightly run her hand up and down my arm. Even after all this time, she could read me so well.

  “I miss her too.”

  “Joy and tragedy, huh?”

  “You read it?”

  “Uh, huh. It was beautiful.” She nodded, her eyes cloudy with sadness.

  “Wanna hold him?”

  “Okay,” I blinked, a little surprised. I bounced the little bundle in my arms, my eyes observing, by the light of my torch, the light-brown tuft on his head. Michael had had my blond hair, I remembered, and Sarah’s twin violet beauties. Ryan Grey had Caleb’s baby blues I saw when he opened them and smiled at me. His smile faded and an indignant frown appeared on his forehead when he saw I wasn’t his mother. Who the fuck are you? I smiled warmly down at him and got nothing but more sulking in return.

  “He likes you,” she smiled.

  “Sure. He talking yet?”

  “No, Einstein, he’s just been born,” she scoffed.

  “Merry Christmas, by the way.”

  “It’s Christmas?” she blinked.

  “I guess it’s good that one of us keeps a calendar, huh, Einstein?” I looked around for what must have been the millionth time. It was more than nostalgia that was bothering me: a feeling of being watched, of the hairs on the back of my neck rising, had been plaguing me for some time now. But I could see nothing.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”We all gathered the next morning in the cavern to witness Richard officially christen Ryan in the swimming pool.

  “What is this?” a confused-looking Ethan asked, standing beside me, a frown just under his lowest horn.

  “It’s a christening.” Just as I was trying to properly explain, Richard dipped a naked Ryan in the water.

  “He’d better not throw up in it,” Chloe muttered darkly to Abby.

  “That would be just like his mother.” Mara scowled at the sniggering duo before taking her son back. He looked a little grumpy at being wet but was happy to be back with his parents. Caleb, looking very wistful, wishing, no doubt his own father was here, took his turn bouncing his son up and down. When the stiff ceremony was out of the way, the Christmas party started.

  MARA

  As we all took seats on the floor, I saw the Nativity cast in all their get ups and wondered, chortling, where they had got all the outfits. The baby Jesus(Ryan) squirmed in his manger, looking curiously up at the angel Gabriel(a miscast and embarrassed Ethan) hovering, with a tinsel halo on his head and his leathery wings spread, eagle-style, above him. The costumes they’d grabbed on their last raid had, I suspected, not really been intended for Nativity plays. I couldn’t help snorting into my clenched fist, seeing the veiled and gowned Mary(Steven Walker) getting a piggy-back from his donkey(Caleb) who looked with his bear outfit, headscarf and button nose, more like an Ewok. He was closely followed by the cloaked and waist-coated Three Wise Men, who looked more like hobbits, (Abby, Kyle and Snow). Alison, Steven’s mother, didn’t even try to help it; she just threw her back her head and roared, seeing Joseph (her husband) welcome them at the door. He looked more like Obi Won Kenobi. And then, at Richard’s summoning, I led them all in a Christmas choir, the Wise Men and all the angels:(Ethan, Chloe, me, him and Kristen).We sang ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’, ‘Sleigh Bells Ring’ and, lastly, ‘Good King Wenceslas’, arguing lyrically though the last one.

  “Good King Wen-ces-las looked down on the feast of Steeeeven

  When the snow lay round-a-bout, deep and crisp and eeeeeven.”

  “I can-not believe the shit you’re always put-ting meeeee through.”

  “Shut up will you? You’re em-barr-assing me in front of the audiiiience.”

  “I’m the one em-barra-ssing you? Are you ta-king the piiissssss?”

  It was then, just as we were in the middle of this very original carol, that Ethan collapsed. Everyone stopped singing to stare down at him.

  “I couldn’t…stay up there any…longer,” he panted, kneeling on the floor.

  “When an angel came in sight, loo-king really ex-hau-steeeeddddd,” Chloe sang. I bit my lower lip while Ethan scowled up at her. Hostilities were forgotten as Richard announced it was time for presents.

  KYLE

  The half-year-old was still learning to eat proper food. I looked at him as he started squirming in Mara’s arms and sucking on his thumb, his bright eyes staring back curiously.

  “How’s your little bundle of joy?”

  “He’s good,” Mara smiled as she sat next to me.

  “Ah, hell,” I muttered as he started crying.

  “It might take a while to calm him down,” Mara sighed as she started bouncing him up and down.

  “Not so good then, huh?” Ryan went instantly silent. “Well, what happened there?” She shrugged, puzzled. Whatever it was, it only took a too-short while; Ryan began to bawl again after only a few minutes. “I’ll leave you two to it,” I sighed, getting up. I stopped when the baby went quite again. Mara looked from me
to her spawn with a gleam in her eye. Oh, no. Oh, hell. The next few minutes were spent reading the kid stories when I should have been teaching target shooting. When my school came past the entrance to the pool area to look for me, there was much sniggering and pointing and I wished the ground would swallow me whole. Awww, God. Caleb seemed especially interested in my embarrassment.

  “What’s going on, hon?” he asked, coming up and stroking his son’s head.

  “I’m the only one that can shut him up, apparently. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

  Mara sniggered and indicated for me to continue. With the air of a martyr marching to the pyre, I picked up the damn book and carried on reading it.

  *

  I smiled as I woke up the next morning and saw Kristen and Chloe sitting on their sleeping bag, hand-in-hand, with the afterglow coming off them in waves.

  “How was your night? It sounded most energetic.” The two of them instantly went scarlet.

  “You were listening?” Chloe glared.

  “No, you woke me up in the middle of the night: I, the whole of the caves and, I suspect, the entire nation. If they discover us I’ll know exactly whose fault it was.”

  “Perv,” Kristen scowled. I smiled and nodded. Boom, boom, boom.

  “What’s that?” Chloe asked.

  “Another bombing I expect. Put everyone on alert.” As soon as I said this, I smelt and heard it: a kind of hissing and a reek.

  “Aww, God,” I gasped, coughing and gagging. “Gas!” I realized. “Get everyone out.” I raced from cave to cave as the air got worse and worse, thicker and harder to inhale. Fighting a dizziness that suddenly flooded my mind, making it hard to focus, I yelled, “Mara! Caleb! Wake the fuck up!” Caleb sat up, dressed only in his boxers and T-shirt.

  “Where the hell’s Mara?”

  “I thought she was with you. Shit. We need to get everyone out now. Save as many people as you can, but make damn sure you, her and the kid get here.” I raced to the largest cavern we had, the Winter’s parking spot. At least it had been. Now it was just an empty cave.

  “Kyle!” I turned. Mara raced towards me, Ryan in a sling across her back, bawling and coughing for all he was worth.

  “It’s gone. We’re fucking trapped.” I pressed my sleeve into my face as another gas grenade, fired by an unknown attacker, whizzed through the opening, right by my face, and hit the floor, spilling its contents all over the place in a sickly green cloud.

  “There’s…another…way.”

  “Ethan?”

  “There’s another way,” he repeated as he raced in at the head of the others. His eyes were now more red than blue, his face was now more gray than green, his posture was stooped and his hand was to his chest. “There’s another way: I…will fly you all out. If I can make it we might have a chance.” I sighed, doubting Karden would have left anything to chance. But what choice did we have?

  “Alright.”

  “Kyle, what about the prisoners?” Mara yelled. Oh, shit! “We can’t leave them.”

  “They’re fucked anyway,” I yelled back. “Have you forgotten everything Richard tried to teach us?”

  “That’s up to God,” she retorted. “And you are not God. Get them and take them to the chamber once my son, husband and everyone else is safe.”

  “Shit,” I hissed, knowing she was right, but hating her for it. “Where’s Chloe?”

  “Where d’ya think?” Sighing and shaking my head, I grabbed Ryan from her and held him out to Ethan, cursing them and their fucking consciences.

  “Here,” I yelled, thrusting the kid into his arms. “Now let’s get these people out of here.” I watched as he took the baby and beckoned Mara over, kneeling so she could get on his back. I grinned, seeing them become a dot on the ground far below. “Alright, everyone,” I yelled, “stand by the hole and get as much clean air as you can. Ethan will come back for you.” Where in blue fuck was the Winter?!

  *

  I ran to the chamber where we’d kept them. We had no cells, not even restraints, here so we’d posted guards who, if they had any sense of self-preservation, would have run by now. If I die for nothing, I’ll be so pissed and never talk to Mara again. I neared the place. The guards had, sure enough, run and now our hostages were utterly lost in this maze and milling about like scared sheep.

  “Come on,” I yelled. They looked at me in confusion, already coughing and gagging. “Come on, goddamnit! The gas is going to flood the place and kill you. Do you want that? Chloe.” I found her kneeling over the body of some small boy. He was clearly dead and they all knew it, even his heartbroken mother, but she wasn’t willing to leave him.

  “Chloe, c’mon. You can’t help him.”

  “What are we going to do?” she wailed, looking up at me, tears in her eyes.

  “Ethan will fly us out, one at a time. Go. Take the others to the hole. Walker, get your ass up!” I yelled, yanking her to her feet. Snapping out of it, she led them out, knowing the way. I stayed behind to make sure all who were still living made it out, though my lungs were burning. I saw a truly heartbreaking sight, looking back: two furry bodies, lying side by side a few feet away from the boy. Cujo and Cuffy as inseparable in death as they had been in life. Fighting back tears, I raced out after the others. I grinned to see Ethan had been busy while we had been away; precious few of us were still waiting for a lift. Oh, my God. Ethan looked truly terrible as he fluttered back up. I could see he was choking, his eyes watering. But he shook it off and hoisted Chloe in his arms while the mother of the dead kid climbed on his back. I leaned out, watching them land and inhaling as much clean air as I could before stepping back and pushing some other woman out so she could get some as well.

  “Fuck,” I whispered, seeing the rifles and handguns I had gathered. How could he carry me and all of them? I watched as, two by two, they were rescued the exact same way until it was my turn. My fears for Ethan increased as I saw and heard him hack and cough, his skin now totally gray. But, braving the gas that was setting both of our lungs completely on fire, he grabbed me and we took off. Our landing was streamlined and graceful, but it cost him the last of his strength. We crashed, hitting the desert floor in a cloud of dust, rolling over and over. I lay on my back, gulping in good, clean air.

  MARA

  I felt like crying as I tilted my head back, inhaling great lungfulls, the relief just overpowering. I held Ryan close. He gurgled happily as he sucked on the little wooden horse Kyle had made for him.

  “We’re…safe,” I wheezed.

  “Thank Go…No,” Caleb gasped, looking up at the sky. I looked too and tears of despair came to my eyes.

  They were distant dots, black against the red sky, at first. But as they drew nearer and nearer, I saw what they were: four sleek jets cast of the same silvery, metallic cast as the Winter. They flew straight for us and I realized, with a terrible certainty, that they had dropped the gas and were now returning to finish the job.

  I fell to my knees, hugging Ryan tight, my heart breaking. My son, is your life to be so short? I kissed his warm, soft forehead. His small hands dabbed at my tears as they trickled down my face.

  “I love you,” I whispered. BOOM! We looked up in stunned, astonished relief as the first of the jets was swatted from the air by a missile that seemed to come from nowhere. I watched as it performed crazed cartwheels on its way down. The Winter. I watched the ship fly at the enemy, wondering who the hell was flying. Kyle, Chloe and I were down here. So was Ethan. Whoever it was, they were clearly a rank amateur; they were throwing missiles like candy and they hadn’t turned on the invisibility. The other jets returned fire and they found their mark. I felt more tears gather in my eyes as I saw the Winter explode. Chong. It must have been him; everyone else stood around me. He had flown away but he had come back and tried to save us. I had never liked him but now I was almost sorry he was gone. Kyle gr
oaned, looking pretty choked up himself, as whatever was left of the Winter rained down in flaming debris. That machine had been a part of our lives for so long. But I didn’t have time to grieve. The other jets flew off but only because they were no longer needed. It came, marching through the still desert haze, looking like a tidal wave of darkness, swallowing up the red sands: a solid wall of soldiers in black: black body armor, black tramping boots, black gleaming rifles. The only variation was their silver gleaming visors, which reminded me of the pitiless eyes of insects. For they were pitiless; they were here to finish us if the gas and planes didn’t.

  “Here.” I looked up to see a filthy, wheezing Kyle, offering a handgun. He threw the large sack he was carrying off his shoulder at our feet. In it were rifles.

  “Where’s Ethan?” Chloe asked, coming forward.

  KYLE

  Ethan. Shit. Cursing myself, I ran to the side of the fallen, green form, lying on its back on the sand.

  “C’mon we’ve got to go,” I urged, dropping to my knees and holding out a hand, my head whipping around to the marching black-and-silver wall of guns, bearing down on us. “C’mon!”

  “It’s too late for me,” he said, his voice a strangely calm whisper. Mara joined me at his other side, her eyes overly bright and her lip trembling.

  “Are you…dying?” He nodded.

  “Goodbye,” he smiled, reaching up with one hand, which she grabbed, holding tight. “I would like to have seen Ryan become as a big a brat as your father was.” They both smiled at the baby, Mara swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

  “I will tell him of Ryan and of what you have become, soldier.”

  “Thanks for saving us,” I said. He nodded, looking over at me.

  “Fare…well.” We watched his eyes close for the last time. “C’mon,” I told her, “we’ve got to go.” I dragged her away just as the first bullets began to fly at us. My own chest and throat were tight with unshed tears as I recalled all the harsh words of distrust between us that he had repaid by saving our lives. Fuck You, Karden. If I get my hands on you again, you’ll stay dead this time.