It killed Graham to know that Vanni could send one smoldering look her direction and she melted right at his feet. Graham kept waiting for that moment when the flame would finally extinguish so that she could get over him at last. Even with his nearly killing someone, a hooker at that, it didn’t touch Andy’s endless hero worship. To her Vanni was still the ideal.
So, as was always the case, all Graham could do was wait it out. In many ways he and Maggie were very similar. Just as Maggie had to be a supportive, positive force leading him in the right direction for a complete healing, he was that to Andy as well. One day, just as sure as he was that he’d walk again, he knew that Andy would realize what she had in him and they could be together at last.
He could only hope it would intersect in the very near future.
His hand slipped under the water to indulge this constant fantasy of consummating his love affair with Andy. Each day he’d get a little further, so he was pretty far along in his solo activity when the door swung open.
“Okay, Mr. Pruney Man,” Maggie sang cheerfully. Her voice trailed off when she realized the kind of personal moment she had interrupted, as he awkwardly attempted to cover himself and regain his composure. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbled as she exited the room as quickly as she had entered.
After several minutes passed Maggie once again entered the room. Graham had pulled himself out of the water, dried himself and covered himself with a plush terrycloth robe. He said nothing as she hoisted him back into his chair and then rolled him into his bedroom. She discreetly left him to dress himself without a word more on the matter.
Eventually he rolled himself out of the bedroom and toward the kitchen where he knew lunch would be waiting. She busied herself at the counter cutting up fresh veggies to compliment the hearty sandwich she’d prepared. “Would you like your lunch on the deck?” she asked without looking his direction.
“That would be fine,” he murmured before he rolled himself toward the patio doors, which he opened and slid through with ease.
She brought the tray onto the deck. It was a little chilly so she started a fire in the nearby fireplace. He watched as she kept finding more and more chores to do as if it would fill up the awkward silence between them.
“I think we should talk about what happened,” he finally said.
She sent him an embarrassed glance. “Totally my fault. I should have knocked. My apologies.”
“You’ve seen me in more embarrassing positions over these last few months,” he offered with a self-effacing grin. “Besides, it’s perfectly natural.”
She nodded. Without looking at him directly in the eye she forged on through the conversational minefield. “Actually I would venture to say it’s a very positive sign that things are happening… in that area,” she tapered off. “I mean, you’d have to check with your doctor and all but I would think resuming an interest in that part of your life is healthy and natural and positive.”
“Well I certainly hope to regain sexual function whether I walk again or not,” he said as casually as he could under the circumstances. After all, she was more than just an attractive or vibrant member of the opposite sex who had seen him naked almost daily for the last few months. She was his healthcare provider. “I am a man after all.”
She nodded again, as if the very notion of his masculinity was a brand new concept. Maybe he was just a patient before that afternoon. “Of course,” she said.
He hated seeing her so uncomfortable. This was as flustered as he’d ever seen her. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I didn’t mean for things to get weird.”
She brushed it off with another embarrassed chuckle. “It’s really more my issue than yours, Graham,” she said before she finally plopped into the chair opposite his wheelchair. “It’s just been a really long time since I’ve thought of men in that way,” she confessed softly. “I’m afraid I’ve regressed back into awkward virgin territory.”
Graham’s heart went out to her. She wore the heartache quite plainly on her sleeve. How had he missed it before? “Was he a patient?”
She sighed as she nodded. “The first, actually,” she said. “He was my husband.”
The revelation dropped like a grenade in the middle of his patio. They had never really discussed her private life before. With a sinking feeling in his stomach he sensed he was about to find out why.
“He was injured in the war in Iraq. Early on, actually, in 2004. He lost both his legs at the knees. The best we could do to get him mobile were prosthetics. But I didn’t care because he was my husband. For better or worse, in sickness and in health. I started training specifically in this field to help him acclimate to this new life. We even thought about having a family.”
She trailed off. Graham couldn’t believe as his strong, happy, unflappable nurse sat across from him with tears chasing each other down her face. He’d never seen her break, even when he was screaming all sorts of horrible obscenities at her. She smiled and patted him on his lifeless legs and told him to let it all out if it made him feel better. She wasn’t going anywhere.
Now he could see a temperamental, entitled rich guy was the least of her trials.
“There were… complications,” she whispered. “He developed a clot in his heart and died of a massive coronary when he was only 36 years old. He simply went to sleep and never woke up again.”
Graham rolled over to where she sat and took her hand in his. “I’m so sorry, Maggie,” he said softly. All her strength and all her positivity had come at such a huge price. Where others might have given up, she instead dedicated her life to helping people just like him. And every single patient that followed her husband walked. Graham knew that was because she had created a miracle out of her sheer indefatigable will. He didn’t remember ever admiring anyone as much as he admired Maggie Lawson in that moment.
Uncharacteristically she allowed him to pull her into a hug and comfort her for a change. She hadn’t cried about Mitchell in a long time, but for some reason the dam broke loose that overcast afternoon. No words were needed, but both seemed to realize they had reached a pivotal point in their relationship.
Instead of seeing each other as a nurse and a patient, they now saw each other as a man and a woman, and all the brilliant dimensions that implied.
The next day he gave even more of himself in their session, pushing himself harder now that he fully recognized the scope of her strength. There were no excuses he could give or pity parties he could throw. If she could show up after all she had been through, it was the least he could do to meet her halfway.
They were rewarded with the miracle they both had been waiting for: his first step. At first neither could believe that it had finally happened, but his leg had moved on its own volition. It had been millimeters only, but it was cause to celebrate. He told her to pick out her fanciest dress. They were going to go out on the town.
Maggie was shell-shocked at his complete about face. He hadn’t ventured past the safe four walls of his home since they returned from Philadelphia. But he was feeling like a man again, like the man he was before the shooting, and he was ready to treat his miracle worker nurse to some of the finer aspects of L.A.
He made all the reservations and hired the car himself. He even insisted on getting himself around in his wheelchair. He told her she was his companion only. They ate at one of the finest restaurants in Beverly Hills, who welcomed Graham back with open arms despite any physical condition he might have been in.
In fact, everywhere they went people treated him like a king. It was red carpet treatment all the way, so much so that Maggie felt a bit embarrassed and out of place. Graham, however, was proud to have her figuratively on his arm as they rolled down Rodeo Drive. He even enlisted her help to pick out a birthday present for Andy, who was due to arrive home within a few days.
She modeled several outfits for him through embarrassed giggles and protests. She really didn’t see how she could help him choose what was best for a woman who was much younger a
nd far different. But he was a hard man to refuse when he really wanted something, so she allowed him to call the shots until they headed back home to Malibu.
The minute she walked into her bedroom she saw several boxes piled high on the bed. She turned around to find Graham sitting in the doorway, looking quite proud of himself with a smug smile on his face.
“What did you do?” she asked as she opened up one of the top boxes. It was one of the outfits she had modeled, supposedly for Andy.
He shrugged. “I just thought you deserved some nice things. After all, you’ve put up with me for all these weeks.”
She put one hand on her hip. “And you think this is going to cover it?” she teased, which made him laugh.
She really liked to hear him laugh.
That night they made dinner together, and finished the evening off watching a movie on his big screen TV.
It was an intimacy she hadn’t known in quite a while. She was lost in thought as she twirled the wine around in her glass.
“What are you thinking?” he mused from where he lounged on the sofa.
She glanced up at him. What had she been thinking? She shrugged. “It was a good day,” she finally said.
He nodded. “It was a good day.”
Then, because she had to, “Andy is a lucky girl.”
His eyes met hers. “You may want to tell her that.”
He looked so sad it broke her heart. “She knows, Graham. Deep inside, she knows.”
He shook his head. “Not yet. But she will. When it’s right.”
“How long have you been waiting?”
He sighed. “A lifetime,” he finally answered. “But it’s been worth it. She’s worth it.”
Maggie nodded. “She’ll be real happy to hear you took your first step.”
He smiled. “Let’s keep it our secret for a while.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to do more than take one tiny, incremental step. I want to walk towards her. It’s the only way I’ll be able to offer her my world.”
“You want to marry her,” Maggie said softly.
“I’m going to marry her,” he clarified. “Everything I do is for her.”
Maggie weighed her words carefully. Finally she said, “You have to do this for you, Graham. In the end you are all that you’ve got.”
He understood that she learned that lesson the hard way. He hated that life had dealt her that kind of blow, especially given how truly remarkable she was as a human being. “What are you always telling me? Thoughts become things. As long as you believe, anything is possible.”
She gave him a reassuring smile as he scooted over into his chair and rolled from the room. As she watched him disappear down the hall she realized that was true in almost every way, except for matters of the heart.
In the end no one can make anyone love them, no matter how much they wish it into existence. And that night, for some peculiar reason, the thought bothered her more than it should have.
She turned off the lights and went to bed.
Alone.
Again.
Chapter Sixteen
October 21, 2010. New York City.
Vanni
He couldn’t believe it as he lay there on that big bed watching her sleep. He kept touching her to make sure she was real and not another sadistic figment of his imagination. He ran a finger along the delicate ivory curve of her back, which was barely covered by the sheet. Slowly his fingers then traveled over the covers to the ample swell of her hip, where his hand fanned out to cup her possessively. His Andy. His beautiful Andy.
He wanted to wake her with tender kisses along every square inch of her exposed skin, but it was such a sweet moment just watching her dream. In that moment, in their tiny cocoon, nothing could harm them. Nothing could rip them from their romantic daydream and thrust them back into the ugly complications that waited for them beyond a fancy New York City hotel.
He’d have been just as happy to stay in the room for the rest of the trip. He wanted to make love to her and memorize how her body molded against his own. He wanted to indulge all his senses: to smell the hint of her perfume along her neck, to taste her lips and touch her body… to hear her soft whispers as he lost himself inside her eyes.
He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone. Just once was never enough. He could have buried himself inside her and never care to withdraw ever again. She was his home. She was his heart. She was his love.
She murmured as she slowly awakened. Her eyes filled with joy as they focused on his face. With a gentle smile she reached up to caress his check. He turned toward her hand and kissed the sensitive palm before he reached down to toy with those full, tempting lips. She pushed aside the covers to pull him toward her. They fit together, head to toe. He slid a knee between her thighs. She parted open for him willingly.
As hard and ready as he was he took the time to savor her body and prepare her for him. His hands were masterful and they knew just where to touch. He was deliberate and playful as he planted kisses along her neck and across her chest. He captured one nipple in his mouth as he lifted one of her legs in the crook of his elbow, opening her wider so he could finally bury himself deep within her.
She cried out as he filled her, which made him even harder for her. She fit around him in a tight sheath made precisely for the rigid contours of his body, which made him murmur promises and declarations of love he normally would never dare. Within her arms he was as high as he could possibly be. And he never wanted to be sober again.
He was a slave to her demands as she urged him on. He flipped over onto his back, straddling her across his body, buried deep inside her to the point her head tipped back in unrestrained ecstasy. He loved to watch her writhe on top of him, her body undulating with the pleasure he knew she could never find but at his fingertips.
She looked like a goddess with full breasts that swayed hypnotically above him. He grabbed her hips with hungry hands as he guided her movements atop his body. It was so sexy that he came first this time, just seconds before she quivered and lost herself in spasms of pleasure.
She collapsed on top of him where she lay catching her breath. He stroked her back as he kissed her hair. “Happy birthday, beautiful,” he whispered.
She smiled at him. “Best birthday ever,” she whispered before another slow, open-mouthed kiss.
He wrapped his arms around her waist. “And it’s just starting,” he said with an evil grin. She could feel his body jump within her.
They took their time as they rediscovered each other. They were in no hurry to face the real world. Instead they ordered room service, where Vanni got creative with the fruit tray once it arrived. He trailed a juicy strawberry along the curves of her body, following the trail with the strong tip of his tongue as he turned her into a sexy sundae.
He wanted to order champagne for their celebration but she told him no, then proceeded to use the chocolate sauce and honey in ways that made him forget all about the bubbly.
They cleaned up in a shared bubble bath, where they frolicked until it grew tepid. They took turns drying each other off but it ignited their passion once again and they ended up tangled once more on the dampened sheets of the rumpled bed.
They may have been content to stay there all day but the persistent buzzing of his cell phone could no longer be denied. He cuddled Andy in the crook of his arm as he answered. “Yeah, Holly. What’s up?”
Andy toyed with the hairs smattered along his muscular chest as she waited for the call to end. But from the way he tensed she knew that something was wrong.
“No, I told you that was not necessary. Everything is under control.”
Andy leaned back to look up into his face. He gave her a roll of the eye and shook his head. “But you didn’t need to come to New York,” he said. Andy sat up a bit as she waited. “No, not today. Today I’m booked.” He paused. “You know, interviews and what not. I have the interview with my dad tonight at six o’clock.” Anot
her pause. “No, I’m having dinner with some old friends. I’d love to invite you, Holly, but it’s going to be kind of intimate.”
She watched as his face soured. “No, you don’t need to worry about that. Trust me, I’m fine. No alcohol. No prostitutes.” He smiled at Andy. “It’s actually been a great trip. A real homecoming that was long overdue.”
She snuggled back into the crook of his arm and waited for him to finish. “Yeah, I’ll see you soon. Maybe tomorrow. Bye, Holly.”
He disconnected the call. “She’s in New York. I told her that I was fine but I guess she’s worried.”
Andy opened her mouth to say something but then her cell phone rang. It was Holly. It was Vanni’s turn to wait while Andy made her way through the conversation. “I can appreciate you’d be worried, Holly, but I’m sure he’s fine. Otherwise we’d hear about it.” A pause. “At some point we just have to trust him.” She ran a finger along his naked thigh. “He’s a big boy,” she added with a teasing smile Vanni’s direction.
With yet another evil grin he eased her back against the bed and kissed a path down across each breast and over the swell of her belly. She tried not to gasp as his head disappeared between her thighs. “I’d love to help you, Holly, but I’m in Tennessee. I’m sure he’s fine.” Her eyes closed as he did sweet things to her nether regions. “Trust him,” she finally said as her free hand clutched a handful of his hair. “He knows what he’s doing. I gotta go, Holly. Grandma’s calling me.”
She didn’t even wait for a goodbye before she disconnected the call and threw her phone on the floor. “You’re evil,” she breathed as her hips gyrated around his talented tongue.
He crawled his way up her body. “But you love me,” he said with that insufferable smirk that melted away all her defenses.
“Forever,” she instantly assured. The strength of her promise didn’t even surprise her. She’d love Giovanni Carnevale until she drew her last breath. Of that, she had no doubt. She pulled him down for another kiss.
The Complete Groupie Trilogy Page 47