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The Opposite of Spoiled

Page 20

by Ron Lieber


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  Gans, Joshua. Parentonomics: An Economist Dad Looks at Parenting. Cambridge, Massachusetts: The MIT Press, 2009.

  Godfrey, Joline. Raising Financially Fit Kids. Berkeley, California: Ten Speed Press, 2013.

  Godfrey, Neale S., and Carolina Edwards. Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children. New York: Fireside, 2006.

  Grant, Ruth W. Strings Attached: Untangling the Ethics of Incentives. New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2012.

  Hacker, Jacob. The Great Risk Shift: The New Economic Insecurity and the Decline of the American Dream. New York: Oxford University Press, 2008.

  Hausner, Lee. Children of Paradise: Successful Parenting for Prosperous Families. Irvine, California: Plaza Press, 2005.

  Hoefle, Vicki. Duct Tape Parenting: A Less Is More Approach to Raising Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Kids. Brookline, Massachusetts: Bibliomotion, 2012.

  hooks, bell. Where We Stand: Class Matters. New York: Routledge, 2000.

  Hulbert, Ann. Raising America: Experts, Parents, and a Century of Advice About Children. New York: Vintage, 2003.

  Kasser, Tim. The High Price of Materialism. Cambridge, Massachusetts: The MIT Press, 2002.

  Kobliner, Beth. Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance in Your Twenties and Thirties. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2009.

  Kurson, Ken. The Green Magazine Guide to Personal Finance: A No B.S. Money Book for Your Twenties and Thirties. New York: Main Street Books, 1998.

  Labanowski, Phyllis, and Pamela Freeman. Created Equal: A Curriculum for High Schoolers and Middle Schoolers on Class and Classism. Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts: Class Action, 2012.

  Lamb, Sabrina. Do I Look Like an ATM? A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible African American Children. Chicago: Lawrence Hill Books, 2013.

  Lareau, Annette. Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2011.

  Levine, Madeline. The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids. New York: HarperCollins, 2006.

  Lickona, Thomas. Character Matters: How to Help Our Children Develop Good Judgment, Integrity, and Other Essential Virtues. New York: Touchstone, 2004.

  Livingston, James. Against Thrift: Why Consumer Culture Is Good for the Economy, the Environment, and Your Soul. New York: Basic Books, 2011.

  McElwain, Sarah, editor. Saying Grace: Blessings for the Family Table. San Francisco: Chronicle Books, 2003.

  McKinley, Kevin. Make Your Kid a Millionaire: 11 Easy Ways Anyone Can Secure a Child’s Financial Future. New York: Fireside, 2002.

  Mellan, Olivia. Money Harmony: Resolving Money Conflicts in Your Life and Relationships. New York: Walker and Company, 1994.

  Mogel, Wendy. The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children. New York: Scribner, 2001.

  Nagler, Tim. Pine Island Camp: The First One Hundred Years. Belgrade Lakes, Maine: Pine Island Camp, 2002.

  Nucci, Larry. Nice Is Not Enough: Facilitating Moral Development. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Merrill, 2009.

  Olen, Helaine. Pound Foolish: Exposing the Dark Side of the Personal Finance Industry. New York: Portfolio, 2013.

  Opdyke, Jeff D. Financially Ever After: The Couples’ Guide to Managing Money. New York: Collins Business, 2009.

  Owen, David. The First National Bank of Dad: The Best Ways to Teach Kids About Money. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003.

  Paul, Pamela. Parenting, Inc.: How the Billion-Dollar Baby Business Has Changed the Way We Raise Our Children. New York: Times Books, 2008.

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  Pink, Daniel H. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. New York: Riverhead, 2009.

  ———. To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others. New York: Riverhead, 2013.

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  Price, Susan Crites. The Giving Family: Raising Our Children to Help Others. Washington, D.C.: Council on Foundations, 2003.

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  Richards, Carl. The Behavior Gap: Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things with Money. New York: Portfolio, 2012.

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  Rubin, Gretchen. The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun. New York: HarperCollins, 2011.

  Salwen, Kevin, and Hannah Salwen. The Power of Half: One Family’s Decision to Stop Taking and Start Giving Back. New York: Mariner, 2011.

  Schor, Juliet B. Born to Buy. New York: Scribner, 2004.

  Schulman, Michael. Building Moral Communities: A Guide for Educators. Portland, Oregon: The Council for Spiritual and Ethical Education, 2006.

  Sethi, Ramit. I Will Teach You to Be Rich. New York: Workman, 2009.

  Siegel, Judith P. What Children Learn from Their Parents’ Marriage. New York: HarperCollins, 2000.

  Simon, Katherine G. Moral Questions in the Classroom: How to Get Kids to Think Deeply About Real Life and Their Schoolwork. New Haven, Connecticut: Yale University Press, 2001.

  Singer, Peter. The Life You Can Save: Acting Now to End World Poverty. New York: Random House, 2008.

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  Streit, David, editor. Good Things to Do: Expert Suggestions for Fostering Goodness in Kids. Portland, Oregon: The Council for Spiritual and Ethical Education, 2009.

  ———. Parenting for Character: Five Experts, Five Practices. Portland, Oregon: The Council for Spiritual and Ethical Education, 2008.

  Tough, Paul. How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012.

  Ulrich, Carmen Wong. The Real Cost of Living: Making the Best Choices for You, Your Life, and Your Money. New York: Perigee, 2010.

  Weber, Lauren. In Cheap We Trust: The Story of a Misunderstood Virtue. New York: Back Bay Books, 2009.

  Weil, Zoe. The Power and Promise of Humane Education. Gabriola Island, British Columbia: New Society Publishers, 2004.

  Weston, Liz Pulliam. Easy Money: How to Simplify Your Finances and Get What You Want Out of Life. New York: Financial Times Books, 2007.

  Yates, Joshua J., and James Davidson Hunter, editors. Thrift and Thriving in America: Capitalism and Moral Order from the Puritans to the Present. New York: Oxford University Press, 2011.

  Zelizer, Viviana A. Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of Children. Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1985.

  Index

  The pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was created. To locate a specific entry, please use your e-book reader’s search tools.

  Abercrombie & Fitch, 76–77

  Advent, 83

  alcohol, 201

  Allowance Manager, 55

  allowances, 14, 45–70, 94, 200, 207

  bank and, 54–56

  budget and, 49

  chores and, 45–46, 55, 66–70, 83

  clothing and, 57–60

  containers for, 52–53

  debit cards and, 79

  essay requirements and, 61

  giving and, 49–52, 129, 130, 131

  interest e
arnings in, 51

  saving and, 47, 49, 51–52, 54

  spending from, 47–52, 55 (see also spending money, by kids)

  taxes and, 52, 62

  and wants vs. needs, 56–66

  when, how much, where, and how, 48–54

  alma maters, 131

  American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, 66

  amusement parks, 79, 193–94

  anxiety, fear, and worry, 19, 23–24, 94

  Apple, 205

  athletic activities, 106–8, 116, 153, 179

  college admission and, 106, 108

  paying for, 161–64

  authoritarian parents, 31–32

  authoritative parents, 32

  automobiles, 55, 57, 61, 64–66, 68, 115

  bake sales, 109

  banks, 205

  allowances and, 54–56

  checking accounts, 55, 56

  saving accounts, 53, 54–55

  banned items, 61–62, 98

  bar and bat mitzvahs, 117–18, 141–42

  Beels, Margaret Rabi, 22

  behavioral economics, 3

  Bella Ha, 141

  Belpedio Schreiber, Katie, 78

  Bible, 144

  Deuteronomy, 175

  Biddle, Ed, 186–87

  Biddle, Pippa, 185–87

  bills, 37–38, 39

  Birch Rock Camp, 190–91

  birthdays, 102, 104, 105–6, 118

  gifts and (see Gifts)

  Biskar, Neal, 144

  blessing before meals, 175–77

  Bone Room, 104

  books, 75

  Born to Buy (Schor), 18

  Boston Gear Works, 164

  bottles and cans, redeeming, 147–51, 166–68

  Brandeis Hillel Day School, 118, 141–45

  Briskman, Pam, 104

  budgets, 203, 204

  allowance and, 49

  charitable giving, 132–34, 207

  clothing, 59

  prepaid debit cards and, 78–79

  vacation, 75

  camps, overnight, 97–98, 187–91

  cans and bottles, redeeming, 147–51, 166–68

  cars, 55, 57, 61, 64–66, 68, 115

  Carter, Christine, 177

  Central Carolina Community Foundation, 135

  Cepeda, Agustín, 176

  Cepeda, Lisa, 175–76

  Cepeda-Benito, Antonio, 176

  character traits. See values and character traits

  charity, 34, 41, 47, 106, 119

  budget for, 132–34, 207

  ECHOage and, 105

  solicitations for, 129–30, 132

  See also giving

  Charles Schwab, 24

  checking accounts, 55, 56

  Cheerful Money (Friend), 17

  Chicken Soup for the Soul books, 137

  chores, 55, 98, 155–57

  allowances and, 45–46, 55, 66–70, 83

  appropriate, for different ages, 155–56

  expectations for, 155

  meal preparation, 156–57

  paying for athletic pursuits through, 163

  choruses and orchestras, 179–80

  Christmas, 102, 106

  Christmas Carol, The, 83

  Clarke family, 147–50

  class, 111, 172–74

  and gaining perspective through teammates, playdates, and field trips, 177–83

  clothing, 57–60, 86–87, 94, 96, 114, 145, 202, 203, 204

  Colbert, Stephen, 72

  college, 5–6, 54, 204–5

  financial aid for, 5, 40–41

  paying for, through work, 151, 164–66

  saving for, 55, 61, 65, 134, 138

  sports and, 106, 108

  student loans and, 5, 6

  college admissions, 166, 185

  jobs and, 152–53, 166

  Columbia University, 182

  commercials, 85, 94–95, 100, 101

  Common Cents Penny Harvest, 125

  communities, 187, 200

  diversity in, 171, 177

  giving and, 120–21

  community service. See volunteering

  compassion, 126

  competence, 155

  Complete Guide to Creative Gift-Giving, The (Yates), 82

  consumerism, 92–98

  See also materialism

  conversations about money, 15–43, 113, 200, 207

  age-appropriateness and, 17, 18

  about athletic involvement, 108

  emotions and, 4, 19

  gender and, 24–25

  about giving, 119–22, 129, 131, 134–35

  about giving to homeless, 123–28

  lying and, 19–20

  need for, 1–14

  parents’ fights and, 19, 23

  about parents’ spending decisions, 96, 201–5

  social class and, 173

  social media and, 174

  values and, 9, 12–13, 14

  See also questions about money; silence around money

  Council for Economic Education, 9

  counselors, 110

  coupons, 77–78

  custom, 101, 106

  credit cards, 55–56, 203

  offers and rewards from, 129–30

  credit unions, 55

  curfews, 98

  curiosity, 11, 12, 21–22, 36, 39, 194

  See also questions about money

  Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The, 169–70

  Damon, William, 92, 155

  Dario, Jim, 40

  Dartmouth College, 153

  Davis, Magnolia, 38–39

  debit cards, 55–56, 59, 203

  prepaid, 78–79

  Deering, Rich, 191

  Degeneres, Ellen, 118

  delayed gratification, 47–48

  Dell, Michael, 174

  Delta Dental, 102

  depression, 94, 175, 177

  deprivation, 111, 115

  symbolic, 187–88

  Deuteronomy, 175

  developing countries, volunteer trips to, 166, 185–87

  Dewey, Bramson, 89–91, 99, 113–16

  Dewey, Mike, 89–91, 113, 116

  dignity, 96

  economy of, 93

  dignity gauntlet, 93–94, 96, 111

  Disney World, 78

  Dismorr, Blanche, 67

  diversity, 171

  divorce, 28–29

  dollar stores, 80–81

  Dominican Republic, 186

  donations. See charity; giving

  Dorsch, Travis, 107

  downward mobility, 7–8

  Drouillard, Andrea, 162–63

  Drouillard, Cali, 162–63

  Duckworth, Angela, 154–55

  Duong, Jonathan, 202

  Dutton, Andrea, 28–29

  Dwight, Bill, 60–61

  EARN (Earned Assets Resource Network), 68

  Earnings. See income

  ECHOage, 105–6

  economic crisis of 2008, 8, 73

  economics, behavioral, 3

  economy of dignity, 93

  education. See school

  Egypt, 175

  Ehrenreich, Barbara, 144

  Elixir Entertainment, 118

  Embrey, Lori, 78–79

  Engelhart, Talia, 206

  Engelhart, Yoni, 205–8

  emotions, 3–4, 19, 113, 203

  empathy, 126

  employee pension plans, 6

  Engel, Susan, 124

  entitlement, 11, 66, 67, 69, 95–96

  envy, 3, 5, 115, 174, 175

  evolution, 122

  Facebook, xii, 61, 74, 103, 163

  family businesses, 65, 151, 158, 172

  farms, 158–60

  Family Guy, 24

  FamZoo, 55, 60

  farmers markets, 77, 193

  farm families, 158–60

  fear, anxiety, and worry, 19, 23–24, 94

  feelings, 3–4, 19, 113, 203

  Feiler, Bruce, 103–4

  financial crisis of
2008, 8, 73

  financial difficulties:

  from divorce, 28–29

  from job loss, 26–28

  First Kids Bank, 206

  First National Bank of Dad (Owen), 54

  Fogarty, James A., 10, 20

  Fong family, 66

  food preparation, 156–57

  401(k)s, 6, 52

  Fowler, Blair, 85

  Freakonomics books (Levitt and Dubner), 3

  Friend, Tad, 17

  Fun Ratio, 74–76, 81

  Gallo, Eileen, 126

  Gallo, Jon, 126

  Gans, Joshua, 201

  garage sales, 127

  Garner, Dwight, 81

  Gates Foundation, 168

  gender, 24–25

  generosity, 11, 12, 14, 82, 106, 119, 120, 122, 130

  See also giving

  gifts, 61, 106, 119, 142

  blank-check approach to, 134

  custom coupons as, 101, 106

  ECHOage and, 105–6

  Gilchrist, Lucy, 183–84, 185, 187

  giving, 14, 117–45

  allowance money and, 49–52, 129, 130, 131

  to alma maters, 131

  at Brandeis Hillel Day School, 141–45

  budget for, 132–34, 207

  challenge grants and, 143

  communities and, 120–21

  conversations about, 119–22, 129, 131, 134–35

  Giving Bag project and, 126–28

  happiness and, 120, 121–22

  to homeless people (see homeless, giving to)

  how much and what, 134–41

  making more meaningful, 129–30

  to organizations helping animals, 129, 130

  to organizations helping people, 130–31

  by parents, in kids’ names, 129–30

  in person, 130

  as regular event, 133–34

  to religious institutions, 131

  rules for children vs. parents about, 131

  Salwen family and, 135–39, 145

  Solimene family and, 139–41

  tax deductions and, 105, 129, 131

  volunteering, 51, 119, 136

  wants and needs and, 120, 132

  See also charity; generosity; gifts

  Godfrey, Joline, 18, 33–34, 36, 163–64

  Golden Rule, 76

  Google, 16, 20, 39, 40

  Gordon School, 179

  grace-saying ritual, 175–77

  Gradinarova, Aleksandra, 149–50

  grandparents, 35, 59, 65, 100, 106

  gratitude, 14, 174–77

  gratitude interventions, 175

  Greater Expectations (Damon), 155

  Greater Good Science Center, 177

  grit, 154–55

  Gross, Teddy, 123–25

  Gross, Nora, 123–25

  Grosso, Justin, 143

  Gutierrez, Lucerito, 166–68

 

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