We held each other once more, and when we did, Colin sighed, his heart beating slowly underneath my head. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and he put his arms around me so that we were sharing the warmth of his jacket. I closed my eyes, taking one of my hands and pressing it to his chest.
"I like the way your heart beat feels," I mused.
He chuckled lightly, taking his hand and placing it over mine.
"You should tell me how much you 'just love me'," he joked.
I grinned up at him, our gazes locking. His green eyes shone in the moonlight, as I breathed deeply.
"I just love you," I said, my eyes widening as his heartbeat quickened between the both of our hands. It was beating nearly twice as fast as it was before, and I was shocked that my words alone could do that to him. "Wow."
"Did you feel that?" Colin murmured.
I nodded lightly, realizing, not for the first time, that what we felt for each other was much deeper than what people our age were supposed to feel. We had to be too young to be so deeply in love, right? We had to be too young to feel that way...it had to impossible that we could have known each other for such short a time and affect each other so much.
"Say it again," Colin pleaded, his eyes closing.
"I just love you," I whispered with a giggle.
His heartbeat quickened again, and I left my hand there, loving how magical it felt for us to be touching so intimately.
Colin's eyes tightened. Whether he was feeling what I was feeling, that it was unnatural how hard and how fast we'd fallen for each other, I wasn't sure, but I could tell that all of this was brand new to him as well.
"I could never get tired of hearing you say that to me," he said, his words coming out strained. "They aren't words I hear very often, and every time you say them, I can't even...I can't even explain what they do to me."
Oh, my sweet boy. My heart ached for him and what he'd just confided in me, and I made it a point to tell him how much I loved him as often as I could. I gave him a soft kiss as I whispered, "I just love you."
Colin groaned and his hand tightened over mine, squeezing it lightly as he reacted to my words once more.
"God, how do you keep doing this to me?" he wondered aloud.
"I just love you," I said with a shrug, by way of explanation.
He chuckled darkly, tipping my head back with a gentle tug of my hair and devouring my mouth with a stolen kiss.
"Don't stop," he replied, in between kisses.
I grinned, this time stealing a kiss from him, eliciting a moan from his luscious lips.
"I," I said. I planted another kiss on his lips, smiling as I did so.
"Love," I kissed him one final time, making it one to remember. I opened my mouth slowly, allowing him to make it a dance, a story being told without words. His tongue probed slowly into my mouth, and the lover's dance we did with our lips was amazing beyond explanation.
"You," I breathed as I kissed him a final time, our limbs intertwining as we lost ourselves in the magic of our kiss.
When he pulled away from me, one of his hands resting at the nape of my neck, and the other at the small of my back, he smiled at me, the most brilliant expression of triumph, of hope, of happiness that I had ever seen.
"I love you," Colin said, giving me an Eskimo kiss.
I rested my head in my favorite place, his shoulder, where I knew that we fit together perfectly, like missing pieces of a puzzle, finally finding their way to each other. Colin was the other half of me. He was what I had been missing all along.
"Colin, before you came into my life, I didn't know where I was going," I said. "If you hadn't saved me, I don't know where I'd be. You brought light back into my life. You brought hope back to my soul. And for the first time, you brought love to my heart, setting my life on fire with every touch, every kiss, every 'I love you' between then and now. I was just wandering aimlessly, with no direction, no hope, no possibility of love--before you, I didn't even have a clue what love was. Now I do. Now I know what it's like to love and be loved, and that's all because you found me in the darkness. You found me when I was lost."
Colin cradled me gently, kissing the top of my head.
"Nickayla, you're mine now," he said. "I promise we'll never lose you again."
Epilogue.
ONE MONTH LATER
"Babe, that's the last box, I swear!" I exclaimed, trying to escape Colin's incessant tickling as we brought yet another box of my shoes into his--our--bedroom. I writhed and wiggled away from him, trying to avoid the torture of his fingers against my sides. "I swear, that's the last one."
Colin chuckled darkly, releasing me from his arms as he laid back on our bed, stretching his arms behind his head. He watched me from where he lay, a satisfied smirk resting on his face.
I leapt off the bed and knelt on the floor as I pulled box after box of my shoes out of the bigger box, arranging them at the bottom of the closet right across from his own--much smaller--collection of shoes. I looked up and around the room at all the progress that we'd made, the bedroom looking more like ours than just like his.
We'd finally finished moving my things in earlier in the week, but even as I climbed into the bed to join him for a late night movie and pillow talk, I couldn't believe that this had become my reality.
The day I started moving out, my parents had cried and begged me not to go, but they knew that my mind was made up. I belonged with Colin, and we all knew it. After that initial day, however, they'd finally let me go--although that didn't stop them from insisting that we have dinner with them once a week.
It was definitely an adjustment living with Colin, and we'd had more arguments in the past month than we'd had over the entire course of our relationship, but I wouldn't change anything about us for the world.
"What are you thinking about, pretty girl?" Colin asked as I scrambled up the bed, resting my head on his chest. His arm relaxed on my waist, holding me close.
"You and me," I said, "and how much we've argued since I've moved in."
Colin laughed, kissing the top of my head.
"You're not having second thoughts about living here are you?" he asked playfully. "Because our fights aren't that bad. In fact, I'm pretty partial to those hot makeup make-out sessions."
I shoved him playfully, a goofy, traitorous grin taking residence on my face.
"Yeah, right," I retorted. "I don't think it's the kissing you're partial to. It might have something to do with the fact that sometimes I let you 'accidentally' touch my boobs."
Colin raised his hands in surrender, not bothering to hide the confident smile that absolutely made my heart melt, even though it was slightly irritating when he smirked at me like that.
"Hey, I'm not gonna deny that I like the accidental boob grazes," he said. "But honestly, the best part about you being here is that I get to go to sleep with you in my arms and wake up to your beautiful face every morning." A beat. "And your morning breath."
I fake-pouted, trying to pretend that my feelings were hurt.
"You're not very nice, Mr. Westwick," I accused, extending my lower lip and forcing it to quiver, laying the guilt on thick.
"I said your face was beautiful, didn't I?" he joked.
He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger, pulling me in for a tender kiss. I closed my eyes, immediately reacting to the feel of his lips on mine. I grinned against his kiss, tugging on his shirt with a giggle.
"Take your shirt off," I said. "I really like your abs."
He laughed, breaking our kiss momentarily to pull his shirt over his head, ball it up, and toss it into the clothes hamper that was by the door.
"You're much nicer than I am," he said. He tapped his chin for a second, as though he was thinking. "I really like your ass."
I playfully pushed his smiling face away from mine, shaking my head.
"Well, tough luck, mister, because I'm not taking off my shorts for you," I said.
Colin grabbed the remote control
, turning on the TV, changing it to a different input so that we could watch something on Netflix. I beamed up at him when he selected the third season of Sons of Anarchy.
I nestled my head in his shoulder once more, moving my legs so that I could get underneath the blankets.
"I just love you," Colin mused. "I'm so glad I found a hot girl who appreciates my love of the Sons."
I kissed his cheek quickly, sighing as the episode started and Colin began to hum the theme song.
"I just love you," I replied, placing my hand above his heart just in time to feel his heartbeat quicken beneath my touch at the sound of my words. "And for the record, I'm glad you found me, too."
Colin's chin rested on top of my head and I was vaguely aware of the fact that he wasn't really watching what was taking place on the episode. Instead, he was watching me, his breathing labored and quick.
"You wanna know something I just realized, babe?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Hmm?" he responded, his green eyes never leaving mine.
I ran my hands along the ridges of his abs, unable to resist touching him. His eyes widened, and then softened.
"I didn't just find myself when we got together," I said. "I found something much better."
Colin sat up, intrigued. His arms tightened around me and I sat up with him, turning and splaying my legs across his lap, knowing how crazy it drove him.
"What else did you find?" he asked, his voice gruff and strained.
I grinned, grazing my fingers along his jaw line and watching it tighten beneath my touch as he gritted his teeth, trying desperately trying to keep his composure.
"I found a smokin' hot boyfriend who'll leap tall buildings in a single bound if I ask him to," I said jokingly.
His eyes flashed quickly down to my legs and back up to my face as he gave me a forced smile.
"Yeah, that's much better," he said sarcastically.
I kissed his nose, then kissed his cheek, finally stopping with a tender kiss on his soft, pink lips. He tensed, and then gave in to my advances. His hand found my back, and he pulled me quickly into his lap so that I was straddling his legs. I kissed his bare chest, looking up at his eyes that were blazing with desire.
"Honestly, Colin, what I really did find was much better," I said softly, my eyes locking with his. "I found home."
Acknowledgments
I’d like to thank my wonderful Beta readers, who fell in love with Nickayla and Colin’s story from the very beginning and encouraged me to keep going: Katelyn Grummett, Sandra Vessels, Jennifer Watt, Maria Munoz, Yarida Aguina, and Danielle Nance. You all have been the most supportive group of ladies anyone could ever ask for, and your love for my characters has honestly moved me to tears.
Thanks Ashley Nichols, a truly amazing, hardworking, and supportive friend who was with me when the idea for Losing Me began, and who stuck with me, writing with me nearly every day and providing me with feedback until it was finished. Your support has been unmatched, and I can’t wait to watch you blossom as a writer yourself.
Thank you to Selena Betancourt, for the cover photo that has brought my story to life, and Milena Betancourt for modeling for my cover and encompassing Nickayla better than anyone else ever could.
To the bloggers who took part in my original blog tour: Jamie Canosa, Tara over at Just One More Chapter, Betsy at Badass Bitches Book Blog, Kyla Grabowski, Ashley Nichols, and Summer Clark. Thank you. I know I might be insane for organizing my blog tour by myself, but you all made it a breeze.
To the indies who embraced me wholeheartedly, thank you.
Cass, also known as author C.S. Janey/Violet Haze, your assistance on this project has been phenomenal. Without you, there are so many hurdles I never would have gotten over. You’ve answered my hundreds upon thousands of questions, talked me through the times I wanted to yank all my hair out even if you didn’t know it, and are seriously my role model. I wouldn’t know what to do without you and I don’t ever want to find out.
Thank you to my best friend Elizabeth who has continuously encouraged me and my creative endeavors since high school.
To my cousins, every single one of them, who supported me, liked every post on Facebook, repeatedly asked me how my writing was going and much more, thank you.
To my grandmother, who helped feed my craving for creativity when I was fourteen years old and allowed me to steal her laptop every night, provided me with all the caffeine I could ever want, and bought me my very first flash drive, thank you.
And last but not least, thank you. Yes, you. Whoever is reading this right now, who’s purchased Losing Me, who is interested in not only me as a writer but as a person, thank you. Thank you for taking a risk with me and for taking a chance on me, and investing your money, your time, and your faith in me by supporting my work. I hope that I haven’t let you down.
About the Author
Jasmine Carolina is a twenty year old college student who has been passionately writing from the age of ten. It was the love of the Harry Potter series and the Chronicles of Narnia that sparked her love for writing and all things involving creativity. She currently resides in Los Angeles, California with her family and two dogs. Along with writing, Jasmine has an enthusiasm for books, musicals, travel, makeup, and doing hair, however, she’s not afraid to get her hair messed up or her nails broken. She is the author of two novels, Losing Me, and Never Let Me Go. She’s currently working full-time on three new novels, coming soon!
You can follow Jasmine on Facebook HERE!
Follow on Twitter HERE!
View Jasmine’s Blog HERE!
Losing Me Page 37