by Mallory Funk
Tara drives most of us home and Claire drives the rest since she didn’t have anything to drink and the rest of us wanted to have a few drinks.
Noah and Luke stay behind since they met up with some girls. I don’t miss the glare that Noah sends Claire to not make any jokes. When I look back at her, I see her lips twitching in amusement and she makes a zipping motion on her lips towards him.
The rest of us head home and I strip down to my boxers and automatically cuddle with my woman. It doesn’t take us long to fall asleep.
I wake up the next morning and I’m naked. I could have sworn that I wore boxers to bed, but I can’t find them anywhere in the room. There is nothing on the floor. None of the clothes I threw on the floor last night are anywhere in sight.
I head to the bathroom to have a shower and, when I get out, I notice all the towels are gone.
I walk into the bedroom and wonder where Tara is. When I look at the bed, all of the bedding is gone and there is nothing but the mattress. The pillows are also gone. She must be doing laundry.
I walk to the dresser to grab some boxers, but they are all empty. Tara’s clothes aren’t anywhere in sight either.
I open every drawer and then move to the closet and it’s fucking empty. The only thing that is left is a fucking dress, hanging right in the middle with a note attached.
“I think this one will go great with your eyes.” I crumple the note.
“Motherfuck-” I growl and look around the room. I hear a noise outside and a bunch of squealing. I see Tara and the girls outside, and Tara’s family is climbing out of an SUV. When I look across the street to my brothers’ house, I see Liam, Cole, and Sam at their windows with scowls across their faces.
I have a very fucking good idea that they also don’t have anything in their rooms but a fucking dress either.
I look down at the women again, and Tara is looking at me with a shit eating grin across her face. They fucking planned for us to meet her parents dress like women.
I look back at the dress and I can’t help but shake my head. I already know that I cannot avoid meeting them. I’m either going to have to go out naked or wearing a dress.
I reluctantly put the dress on and I stand at the door to my bedroom with my forehead against it, taking a minute before I make my way downstairs.
Tara has her parents and siblings out in the backyard sitting and drinking coffee. They had brought some dining room chairs outside since there are only enough for us guys with our girls usually sitting on our laps.
I grab my coffee taking it as slow as possible before I head outside to meet my future in laws… in a fucking dress.
Tara
I wait for the guys to make their grand entrance.
“So, what’s taking your man so long? Do you need to wake him up?” my mother asks. Maybe I should have told my family that there is an ongoing prank war with the guys, but then I think, where is the fun in that?
“He should be down soon. They are all probably making sure they look their best for you guys,” I say with my lips twitching in amusement. I can see my parents look at me curiously before the back door opens and they all step out with their heads hung low as they take their seats.
I look at my family when I stand up to go and sit on Derek’s lap. Their eyes are wide and open in shock. The girls and I burst out in laughter.
The dresses we got were all identical asides from them all being different colours. They were a little short and maybe a bit form fitting.
“You guys are evil,” Derek growls into my ear, but I can hear the amusement in his voice.
Courtney is on the floor laughing and holding her stomach. Claire has her head on the table and is shaking back and forth laughing. Paige has her face covered by her hands and is laughing.
“But you guys look so GOOD,” I say loudly making us all laugh harder.
“What the hell is going on here? Honey, why are these men in dresses?” my dad asks curiously. I notice that he is fighting back a smile.
“Well, daddy, we took their clothes,” I say seriously, and he nods his head in understanding, like he’s not even shocked that I would do such a thing. I knew my parents wouldn’t be weirded out by this. I’ve seen my fair share of pranks growing up. I just never mentioned that fact to anyone. That’s where the idea came from to prank the men months ago. I just didn’t know that it would turn into an ongoing war.
“Well, that sounds like something you would do,” my brother says with his lips twitching.
“Yeah, Rich, where’s the dress that Tara had made you wear in high school?” my sister Caroline asks with laughter in her eyes. My parents snort in amusement.
“She made you wear a dress too?” Trevor asks curiously.
Richard nods his head. “Oh yeah, my dear sister was a little punk. She liked to pull lots of shit on me when we were little,” he says seriously.
My brother tells the guys about all the pranks that were pulled as a family and the guys reveal the ongoing prank war with the men and women. My family laughs at everything we have done.
Claire’s phone dings with a text and we all look to her. “Oh goody, Thomas is on his way,” she says with a smile.
“Who is Thomas?” my sister asks, which makes all the guys groan.
“Oh, he’s this MAN who lives down the street. He looks out for us girls when the guys pull pranks on us and has claimed us as his daughters,” Courtney tells them. The rest of us nod our heads in agreement.
“Oh, that’s sweet that you girls have someone on your side since you’re outnumbered,” my mother says with a small smile looking at everyone and clearly noticing that the odds are in the guys’ favour.
Before anyone can say anything, Thomas comes out to the backyard with a cup of coffee. He doesn’t join us everyday, but once a week he does. He likes to check in with us and, if I’m honest, I think he thinks of the guys as his sons too but doesn’t show it. They definitely have a mutual respect for each other.
“Hey ladies,” he says before he looks over and sees my family staring at him. Well, my mother and sister are gaping at him while my dad and brother narrow their eyes.
“Oh, you must be Tara’s family. I’m Thomas.” He holds his hand out to shake their hands and my dad stands up and puffs out his chest before he shakes his hand with as much force as he can. I can see Thomas’ lips twitch in amusement.
My brother catches this and holds back laughter. He shakes his hand and nods his head while saying his name.
When Thomas looks at my mom and sister, they are still sitting there with their mouths hanging open at him.
“And you must be Tara’s mother and sister. I can see that beauty runs in the family,” he says with a wink. I’m pretty sure they both stop breathing. Both of their cheeks turn pink.
It takes a moment for both of them to break out of their trance and get up to shake his hand eagerly.
“So, because you guys are in dresses you can’t feed my poor Tara?” Thomas asks, and I can’t help but laugh when the guys all get up and run into the kitchen to start breakfast like they didn’t realize that they haven’t fed me yet this morning.
“How did you do that?” my mom asks in awe.
Thomas laughs. “These guys will do anything for a pregnant woman. Since the scare with Tara, we all make sure that she is fed and takes her vitamins.” They nod their head in agreement with Thomas.
We tell my parents that there are two rooms across the street they could stay in, and Thomas offers his house if they don’t want to get in the middle of pranks since his house has automatically become the safe zone. My brother and sister take the rooms at the brothers’ house and my parents decide to stay with Thomas. They will be here for two weeks. I hadn’t spent this much time with them in a long time. I’m glad that they are taking the time off to get to know my new man and the family we had created with everyone.
While my family goes to settle in, we give in and let the guys have their clothes back. Paige had a room in th
e basement that has a lock on the door that I don’t think that Trevor even actually knew about.
We plan on grilling burgers and hot dogs for lunch. The men wanted another chance to redeem themselves- to meet my family without wearing skin tight dresses.
Chapter Five
Derek
I can’t believe I had to meet my woman’s parents in a fucking dress. I must admit that it was a good prank, but I didn’t intend for my future in-laws to see me in such a skin-tight dress. Once we finally got the clothes back from the women, we decide to have a BBQ. It’s usually our go to with cooking or grilling. Hopefully I can redeem some points with Tara’s parents and do what I planned to do this weekend.
When I get downstairs, I don’t see any sign of Tara’s family, but I do see Cole, Noah, Kyle and Trevor. When they see me enter they start grumbling about the dresses.
“Let’s just get this BBQ started. They honestly thought it was funny and didn’t look at us in disgust.” I tell them and, after a minute of thinking about it, they agree.
“We’ve got to think of a way that we can get the girls back. It just has to be something that won’t do any harm to Tara,” Cole says as he grabs the homemade burger patties from the fridge.
“We will think of something, I’m sure we can think of something. I just know that she would be more pissed if we started to exclude her because she was pregnant,” Trevor says and we all nod our heads in agreement.
Tara loves this prank war as much as we do. It’s a good way for us to let go after a stressful day or week at work, or to distract ourselves from whatever else we may be dealing with in our lives.
While we get all the food ready for grilling and head outside, Sam, Liam, and Luke come back and start making sides. We stop talking about pranks because you never know if one of the girls is hiding behind something to listen in. Call us paranoid, but in this game of war we have to be alert.
It doesn’t take long before the women join us wearing proud smiles on their faces. Tara texts her parents to let them know that lunch is almost ready.
A couple minutes pass before Tara’s parents come walking in with Thomas. He doesn’t bother knocking anymore since we are always walking into each other’s houses.
Following behind him is Tara’s dad, Hank. I can see that she looks a lot like her dad. They have the same blonde hair and dark eyes. Her and her dad’s hair is straight while her mom and other siblings have curly hair. Her mom’s hair is a lighter brown and she’s short like Tara. Hank has a big build like Thomas.
“Good to see you guys in something that’s not a dress,” Hank says with a chuckle.
“I sure didn’t mind,” I hear Tara’s sister Caroline mumble, and when I look at her I see her cheeks turn pink. I don’t think she realized that she said that out loud. I give her a wink before I give Tara a peck on the lips.
“Me either, honey. We got to see what nice backsides these men were packing,” Tara’s mom, Delores, says with a wink and has Cole, Trevor, and Noah choking on their beers. I can’t help but laugh. She’s exactly like Tara described her to be.
“Well, at least we passed inspection,” I say and wink at Tara’s mom. She automatically blushes and walks away.
“What was that all about?” Claire says on a laugh.
Tara laughs back. “She has this thing for deep masculine voices. I’m pretty sure if Derek said, ‘what do you need, baby?’ right now she would melt.”
The girls all laugh and I can’t help but join them.
“I’m glad it takes more than a deep voice to get me into bed,” Courtney says in a low voice.
Paige smirks at her and I have a feeling I already know what’s coming.
“Oh yeah, what was it about Cole that made you want him in your bed?” She crosses her arms over her chest and raises an eyebrow at Courtney. I don’t miss how the rest of the girls fall quiet and stare at her.
“What do you expect? I was drunk, and he was there,” she says waving a hand in the air dismissively. I see Cole out of the corner of my eye stop what he’s doing at the grill.
“Ex-fucking-cuse me?” he says loudly causing everyone to stop what they are doing and, I swear, you could hear a pin drop.
Courtney doesn’t flinch and turns around and looks at him from across the deck. “You heard me. A lot of jack helped get you into my bed that night.”
“I beg to fucking differ there, honey,” he says crossing his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes at her.
“What makes you think that? For all you know, I thought I was taking Liam to bed that night,” she says. I hear a snort and I look at Liam who is trying to hold back laughter. We have all heard her try to argue that point before.
Cole slowly walks towards us. “I don’t fucking think so, darling. I believe it was my fucking name you were screaming that night. You can try and blame it on the alcohol all you want, baby, but don’t for one second think that I didn’t notice you checking me out every time I was in the room, and every evil glare you shot me every time a girl came close to me licking her lips like she wanted a piece of me.”
Courtney’s mouth drops open in shock, and I kind of want to applaud my brother right now, but I think that might end in me getting hit so I clap for him on the inside. I look at my brothers and the Johnsons and they are all wearing shit eating grins.
“I wonder how long we will have to stay quiet while they stare at each other,” Richard whispers loudly causing everyone to laugh. He smiles proudly that he broke the tension in the room, and it also gives Courtney a chance to head back into the house.
I walk over and start making Tara a plate once I notice that the food is almost ready. I set it down in front of her, and she looks up at me like she doesn’t know me.
“Seriously? All you are giving me is salad and a burger? Why can’t I have a hot dog or pasta salad. You know I don’t care for garden salad,” she says on a pout.
“I know, baby, but it’s not good for the baby. I’ve been reading on what you can and cannot eat and that deli meat in the pasta salad isn’t good for you or the baby. Same with hot dogs. Have you even read the books my brothers bought?” I ask with a sigh.
I get up to make my own plate and everyone takes a seat.
“What’s the point of reading those fucking books if you and your brothers are constantly telling me what I can and cannot eat or do; I figure that you guys will just tell me, but if you guys think for one second that I am not having any brownies, you’re dead fucking wrong and I will gladly part you with your manhood should you get in my way,” Tara says before she takes a big bite of a burger and smiles sweetly at everyone.
I notice the men all shift in their seats. Her brother and dad seem to feel the pain that is threatened at our ‘manhood’.
“You said it, sister,” Caroline says out loud and high fives Tara which earns chuckles from the other women.
“Why is it that every time a woman wants to threaten a man, it’s always his ‘manhood’?” Luke says, and he actually uses air quotes.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” Claire says with a smile and pats him on the hand.
Chapter Six
Tara
Lunch passes by and I can already tell that my family loves Derek and the rest of my friends. We spend the afternoon with my family getting to know everyone. They had made sure to come on the weekend so that they could get to know everyone before they went off to work. Paige and Courtney had insisted that I take time off while my family was here since it’s been a long time since I have seen them. It took some arguing because I didn’t want to leave them with all my clients, but they really didn’t give me much of a choice.
We had made arrangements during the week so that my mom and sister could come out to the salon and get whatever they wanted done.
My dad and brother were more than happy when Derek and Sam had offered to let them use the gym while they were here. They do love to work out since my dad is huge. I would not want to see him pissed off
but, since I’m his baby girl, he rarely ever gets pissed at me. The only time I did piss him off was when I had told him that I was moving with Jeff away from home. It wasn’t a secret that he didn’t like him. He made it well known telling me that once I realized what an asshole Jeff was that my room would always be waiting for me.
I was very glad I had met Courtney, and that I was able to move in with her and Paige. I love my family, but they do tend to drive me crazy from time to time.
It had also led me to Derek. He has been doing everything to make sure my family is comfortable when they are here. He asked me what foods they liked and what they like to do, so all three houses are stocked with food and, since my family loves board games, Derek had reluctantly bought more. I had to laugh when Derek and Liam’s face had paled when I told them that my family liked games. They were no doubt thinking about Paige and how she gets when we play games. I actually couldn’t wait for tonight to happen to bring out the board games. My brother and my dad are pretty serious like Paige is, and I have no doubt I will be spending the night laughing at them.
It’s not long before the guys take off to ‘run errands’ and I have to laugh since I know that they really are just leaving to plan their revenge against us.
My brother looks at me when all of them leave together with some lame excuse. “Do they do that a lot? Make up an excuse and leave together? I mean who says, ‘I ugh got to go fold laundry’,” he says trying to mimic Cole’s voice. My lips twitch holding back laughter.
Claire lets out a laugh and everyone looks to her. “Well yeah, they are planning our revenge since we made them wear dresses this morning. It’s easier for us girls to plan since all we have to do is meet up at the salon since I’m the only one who doesn’t work there.”
“What revenge?” My dad sits up clearly intrigued.
I sit up straight and look my father in the eye. “Well, we have this war going on with the guys. It started as an innocent water balloon ambush and then turned into a huge battle of the sexes. Clearly, the women are winning,” I say with a smug tone to my voice.