by Mira Bailee
“When you’re ready, let’s talk about what you saw.”
I nearly forgot I wasn’t alone in here.
I take a deep breath and sit up. I let the silence linger as I try to sort through my thoughts. Yes, I want Devon. I won’t deny it. But a scene playing out in my head doesn’t guarantee he actually feels that way. I need him to prove it. The Devon I’ve gotten to know over the past couple weeks, he’d stop at nothing to get his way. I just have to be patient. Either he’ll come back to me, or he’ll make it clear there’s no more to us.
I can be patient. It’s only a matter of time.
“Are you ready to tell me what you saw?”
I consider being honest, but then say, “It was the same as before. The stuff with Jared.” I don’t want to psychoanalyze my Devon issues.
She opens her mouth to speak, but hesitates a moment. “Well, I think you should take advantage of your revelation. You’re a twenty-two-year-old woman, and as you said, it’s up to you to take action. How about you find some time to visit Jared’s gravesite? Go to him and say goodbye. Use it as a chance to do something for him, honor him.”
“Honor him,” I repeat. Natalia comes to mind. “What about a charity gala? Would being a guest of honor, there on his behalf, suffice?”
“That’s very bold of you, but simple steps may be best. Organizing an event like that would—”
“It’s already been organized. I’ve been invited to attend. It’s meant to honor Jared and others like him, just like you said. The problem is, I’m supposed to have Devon there with me, and with us being apart right now, I just don’t know how to make it work.”
“Maybe there’s someone else you can bring. Someone who shared in your loss, and who understands what all you’ve gone through.” She’s looking at me as though this all makes perfect sense.
“Who? My mom? Dad? I haven’t spoken to them in years, and I don’t think I’m ready to confront them now.”
“No, not your parents. Someone else. Who loved Jared too. Who felt his death as deeply and as personally as you did.” She waits to see if I put it together. “You should invite Rhys to attend this gala with you.”
“Rhys? I haven’t heard from him since I moved. I don’t know where he is. What he’s been up to.”
“Sounds like a perfect opportunity to take action. Put in the effort to contact him, and see how it pays off.”
Contact Rhys. Contact Jared’s first and only boyfriend. The kid I grew up alongside because he was Jared’s best friend before he’d become more.
That evening, I sit down at my computer wondering where to look first. Rhys Everton. The Rhys I remember had shaggy blond hair, like he was always returning from surfing. I remember his messy eyebrows that hovered over his dark brown eyes. In middle school, I even had a crush on him, but he and Jared teamed up like annoying little brothers—hogging the living room, playing air guitar in their boxers, making fun of my boyfriends, playing tricks on me—and I quickly got over wanting to date him and instead wanted to punch him.
Rhys Everton, who, one day was a part of the family and the next—after Jared’s funeral—wouldn’t look any of us in the eye. Even if I found him, what are the chances he’d want to speak to me?
I begin by doing a basic Internet search. Several Rhys Evertons show up, but none appear to be him. I check results in the news section and come across an article written shortly after Jared’s death. There’s a school photo of Jared with a group of friends, and Rhys is mentioned in the caption. It’s like after everything happened, all of us ceased to exist. Our world stopped, and here it was frozen in time.
A knock at my door breaks my concentration.
“You hungry?” It’s Maddie. “I’m ordering pizza. That’s okay, right?”
When has pizza ever not been okay? “Sounds good.”
“What’s wrong?” She walks into my room and stands behind my chair leaning down to rest her chin on my shoulder. She looks at the photo on my screen. “Your brother?”
“I’m trying to find someone. Dr. Shannon suggested I invite Rhys to the gala. That it would help with closure.”
“Who’s Rhys?”
“This guy,” I say, pointing to the grinning blond in the photo. “Jared’s best friend. Boyfriend.”
“Wow. Lucky for you it’s easy to hunt people down online now.”
“You think? This is the only result I’ve gotten so far, though I’m sure I can find more as I keep looking.”
“Get up.” Maddie stands straight and pushes on my shoulder. “Get up and let the professional do it.”
“Professional what? Snooper?” I laugh.
Maddie takes her place in my seat, and logs into her social media profile. I’ve avoided those sites. I’m not sure Internet friendships and virtual walls filled with other people’s drama would benefit me much.
“Last name?” Maddie clicks on a search window and starts typing.
“Everton.”
Search results pop up with a handful of matching names and variations of: Reece, Ryan, Riles, Everman, Evanston, Everly.
She starts clicking through to the ones that match, but the profiles are either set to private with no identifying information or are clearly not the Rhys I once knew.
“I don’t know, Maddie. Who’s to say he even has an account?”
“Oh ye of little faith. Persistence is key here.”
I’m not completely computer illiterate. I can do research and use all the basic software without any hitches, but tracking down human beings? It’s just not my thing.
Maddie continues typing and clicking, while I stand behind her feeling useless. The sound of the doorbell is a welcome surprise and gives me something productive to do.
“I’ve got it.”
Assuming it’s the pizza man, though I don’t remember seeing Maddie finish her order, I swing the door open wide, anticipating the lovely smell of grease and cheese. To my surprise, Natalia waits at my doorstep.
“Oh, hey,” I say, trying to think of how she’d know my address.
As if she heard me, she starts by saying, “My boss gave me the directions. I hope it’s not too late, but I’ve started planning your agenda and needed to touch base with you.”
I step aside to invite her in, and we take a seat on a couch. Maddie emerges from my room balancing my laptop on one hand. She stops when she sees Natalia.
“You have a way with figuring out private information, huh?” She looks to me. “Hey, maybe she can help locate—”
“Nope. No, that’s okay.” I give her a death stare. I don’t want anyone to know who I’m trying to find right now. It’s still too weird for me.
“‘K. Then I’ll just be in here.” She nods her head toward her bedroom before retreating to it and shutting the door behind her.
“You have a great friend,” Natalia says, pulling a notebook from her purse. “But it must be easy to be your best friend, as nice as you are.”
“Thanks.” I pick at my fingernails, scraping at bits of polish. “You mentioned an agenda? I thought you said everything would be taken care of?”
“Absolutely. All the work is on us. Don’t worry. No, you, my dear, are getting the full star treatment. Dress fittings, jewelry pairing, hair, nails…Hell, I can get a teeth whitening session in if you’d like.”
I want to laugh. Is she serious? Am I about to become a human Barbie doll? I’m sure a boutique could donate any dress, and I’d love it. “Is all that necessary?”
Natalia flips her hair behind her shoulder and laughs. “You know? In all my time doing this, I don’t think I’ve ever come across someone who wasn’t thrilled to be spoiled.”
Spoiled. Alright, fine. It could be fun. It’s not like I have other plans this week, and it would certainly take my mind off my feelings for Devon.
“So what first?” Certainly, this all shouldn’t be too big of an ordeal.
“Tomorrow morning, you have an appointment with Raul Xavier—he’s one of the top stylists of
the stars. He’ll make your beautiful hair even more beautiful.”
Right. “But it won’t stay that way through Saturday…”
“Of course not, he’s just giving you a cut and dye job tomorrow. He’ll be there Saturday, along with Trish Martinez—a fabulous makeup artist—to get you all ready right before the gala.”
That thought about all this not being a big ordeal was way off. This is going to be a whole fiasco leading up to the event, isn’t it? Still, a little glamour would be a nice break from everything that’s been happening.
“O!” Maddie’s door flings open. “Liv-ee-uh! I need you in here a moment, please and thank you.”
I laugh at her. “I’ll be just a second,” I tell Natalia, and join Maddie in her room.
Closing the door behind me, I ask, “Did you find him?”
“Yeah.” She points at her screen. “I also found this.” Her voice has an angry tone. Someone’s in trouble.
I step closer to find her looking at a photo of Corey, surrounded by two half-naked girls. “What am I looking at, Madd? What did you find about Rhys?”
“Never mind him for a second. I looked for Corey before, but I figured, since he’s a little more high-profile than other guys I’ve dated, it wasn’t worth much of a search—he wouldn’t have a public account. But then I find this. Look, he’s using this ridiculous username, Master VIP, to disguise himself. I only found him because your Rhys happened to be at an event Corey was also at. It’s crazy that I even noticed this, but the worst part. Look at when he posted this picture of him with two whores.”
I squint and lean in closer. Yesterday.
“Maybe it’s old?”
“It’s from a party over the weekend, so no…not old.”
“Right. I’m sorry, but I have to say it.” I step back and sit on the edge of her bed. “You hooked up with the guy at a party. You said you’ve seen him a couple more times, but are you two more serious than a casual fling? Did you agree to exclusively date each other?”
She sighs. “No. And I really wouldn’t care if he saw other people at this point, but he was so quick to post this photo, where are the ones with me and him?”
I try to contain it, but a burst of laughter escapes me anyway. “That’s what you’re worried about? Why your photos aren’t appearing online?”
“It symbolizes way more than that, Liv.” Now she’s forcing back a smile. “Trust me. This pisses me off.”
“Then go kick his ass.”
“I should.” She stands up. “You know, I will. I was supposed to meet him later tonight anyway. Maybe I’ll show up early and surprise him and his girlfriends.”
She starts digging through her closet for something, an outfit, shoes, a golf club to hit him with—who knows with Maddie.
“Before you get too sidetracked, can you tell me about Rhys, please?”
She stops what she’s doing and comes back to the computer. “Right.” She clicks a couple times. “He’s right here. And he seems to be doing well for himself.”
I move to her desk, sitting down and preparing for whatever I might see.
Rhys Everton
Location: Silicon Valley
Occupation: CEO and Founder of Everton Tech
Relationship Status: Married
Wow. He’s all grown up now. When you consider he’d only graduated high school two years ago, making him twenty, he’s done far more than I have.
I scan through his photos and feel a sharp pang in my heart. Still with his shaggy blond hair, the photos document his happiness. Pictures of him surrounded by friends, accepting awards, buying a house. An entire album is dedicated to his wedding, and I click inside to see gorgeous photos of him at the alter staring lovingly at his tall, dark, and handsome husband.
I’m happy for him. I truly am. But a part of me can’t stop seeing Jared standing there instead. Sure, very few relationships at fifteen last long enough to make it to this point, but without Jared here, and with their relationship cut so short, who knows what could’ve become of them.
“So what should I do now?” I can’t just stare at Rhys through the glass wondering “what ifs” on my brother’s behalf.
Maddie clicks a button and my email opens with his address ready to go. The message window taunts me, blank, ready for me to make initial contact.
“Right. I’m really doing this.”
“Unless you want me to write it for you?”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve got it. Besides, you’ve got a man to set straight.”
As I type, I listen to Maddie shuffle around her room, getting ready to go. She puts on a shorter skirt and does her makeup extra smoky and sultry. This is Break-Up Maddie. She’s going to go show him what he’ll be missing out on.
I try to keep my message concise and find myself typing and deleting sentences over and over. Finally, I end up with this:
Rhys,
It’s Olivia Margot, Jared Margot’s sister (but I’m sure you know that). I’d like to talk to you about something. I’ll keep it brief, but if you could call me, I’d really appreciate it.
Hope all is well,
Olivia
I finish by typing my phone number and hover the mouse over “Send” as I contemplate whether or not I should be doing this. He moved on with his life. He was doing great. Why bring up past memories? It would only be painful and—
Maddie pushes down my index finger, and the message zooms away through virtual pathways straight to Rhys’s computer.
Maddie finishes getting ready with no further comment. I’ve left Natalia waiting all this time, so I push Rhys from my mind, and return to the living room.
“So sorry that took so long,” I tell an empty room. She’s not here. Her bag sits on the floor, so she hasn’t left. “Natalia?”
She walks out from the direction of my bedroom. “Sorry, I was looking for a bathroom.”
“Right there.” I point to the closed door near the kitchen.
Maddie walks up behind me. “She can track down your apartment, but she can’t find a room with a toilet?”
I elbow her. “Be nice.”
“I’m always nice.” She gives me a quick hug and slings her purse over her shoulder. “Now, I need to go beat up a boy. I won’t be too late.”
She leaves and Natalia comes out of the bathroom. Instead of sitting, she picks up her purse as if to leave.
I smile, the adrenaline from finding Rhys settling in. “So hair tomorrow morning. Anything else?”
She pulls a paper from her notebook and hands it to me. “After Raul, you’re going to stop by Calypso Day’s studio for a dress fitting, and that takes care of Wednesday. Then we don’t need you again until Saturday.”
I look at the paper she’s given me. It’s complete with times, locations, and directions.
“Sounds good.” I give an encouraging smile, though I’m still pretty sure all this fuss is too much. No one will be paying that much attention to me at the gala.
Natalia gives a little squeal and hugs me. “You’re going to have a ton of fun. I swear. Thanks for being so great about all this. Your brother would be proud.”
Proud of what, I’m not sure, but Natalia knows more about this event than I do. Surely, it’ll do good things for youth all over the country. That’s something to be proud of.
“Now first things first.” She plops back down on the couch, her notebook in hand.
Apparently, our work here isn’t done.
She clicks a pen and pats the cushion next to her. “I’m sorry. This part will be a little difficult. I need you to tell me about the events surrounding Jared Margot’s death.”
Wow, cutting right to the chase. I sit down, but I’m nowhere near prepared to talk about this.
Dr. Shannon’s office. My revelation. We hadn’t done anything to help Jared then. Is this my chance to do something now?
For the next hour, she interviews me, asking questions that bring all my nightmares into the spotlight.
What wa
s Jared like before it happened?
Were there any warning signs?
A boulder-sized lump wedges itself in my esophagus as I choke through these answers.
Was anything done to prevent it?
How did he die? When? Where?
By the time she’s done, my face is wet with tears. My shaky hands clutch a pillow in my lap, and I can feel myself shutting down. Closing off. I want to run away from it all. Be left alone. But the harsh reality is it would just keep following me.
No, I need to face it. I have to.
It’s for a good cause.
Once Natalia leaves, I collapse onto the couch, feeling exhausted like I’ve just lost a brutal battle. I start to doze off, but my phone rings. I force myself off the couch and into my room where I’d left it charging.
Or I thought I did. It’s not on my nightstand, so I must be even more tired than I thought. It rings again, and I follow the sound to my desk. No, not on the desk but laying on the chair instead.
“Hello?” I answer. That reminds me. Maddie never called in that pizza order.
“Olivia?” a male voice responds. “It’s me. Rhys.”
“Rhys. Hey! Wow, that was quick.” My legs shaking, I sit down.
“Yeah, I’m away on business and happened to be wasting time on my phone when your message came through.” He sounds just like the Rhys I once knew. “So you wanted to talk?”
“I do. If you have a few minutes now, I can probably—”
“How about we meet up? I’m in LA. Your mom said you live here, right?”
I push my hair behind my ear. His easygoing tone is relaxing and contagious. “I do. If you’re busy though—”
“Nonsense. I’m here. You’re here. Let’s catch up. I’m free all day tomorrow. We can do lunch.”
I remember tomorrow’s schedule with the salon and Calico Day—or whatever her name was. “I think I can do two o’clock. Does that work?”
“Perfect,” he says, sounding excited.
He gives me the name of a diner, and my face almost hurts from smiling as we hang up. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow.
And I can’t wait any longer for pizza. I place an order, looking forward to eating as much as I can by myself before the celebrity beauty gurus get ahold of me.