He thought
You looked really pretty
(He catches himself.)
Or . . .
It looked pretty cool
When you put indigo streaks in your hair
ZOE (Laughing): He did?
EVAN:
And he wondered
How you learned to dance
Like all the rest of the world isn’t there
But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
“If I could tell her
Tell her ev’rything I see
If I could tell her
How she’s ev’rything to me
ZOE:
But we’re a million
But we’re a million
Worlds apart
worlds apart
And I don’t know how
I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could tell her . . .”
But whaddaya do
When there’s this great divide?
He just seemed so
Far away . . .
And whaddaya do
When the distance is too wide?
It’s like I don’t know
Anything
And how do you say,
“I love you”?
I love you
I love you
I love you
But we’re a million worlds apart
And I don’t know how
I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could . . .
(Evan kisses her.
It’s impulsive and rash and he does it before he even thinks about it
She pulls away, stunned.)
ZOE: What are you doing?
EVAN (Fumbling for something, anything to say): Um . . . I just um . . .
CYNTHIA (From off): Dinner’s ready, guys. Guys?
ZOE: Tell them to eat without me.
(She hurries out the door.)
TWELVE
Evan and Jared, online.
Jared laughs, utterly incredulous.
He wears a button with Connor’s face on it.
JARED: You what?
EVAN: I didn’t mean to, it just happened.
JARED: I can’t believe you tried to kiss Zoe Murphy on her brother’s bed. After he died.
EVAN: Oh my God.
(Jared points to his button.)
JARED: Hey asshole, aren’t you going to say anything?
EVAN (Noticing the button for the first time): Is that a button with Connor’s face on it?
JARED: I’m selling them for a nominal fee at lunch tomorrow.
EVAN: You’re making money off of this?
JARED: I’m not the only one. Haven’t you seen the wristbands with Connor’s initials on them that Sabrina Patel started selling during free period? Or the T-shirts Matt Holtzer’s mom made?
EVAN (Not interested): What am I going to do about Zoe?
JARED: Are you kidding? After last night? You can never walk into that house again. Besides, this whole Connor thing? In another few days, it’ll be played out anyway.
EVAN: But you just said about the T-shirts and the wristbands . . .
JARED: Exactly. We are at the peak. Which is why I’ve got to move these buttons before the bottom drops out of the Connor Murphy memorabilia market. Because pretty soon, there will be some Third World tsunami to raise money for, and Connor will just be that dead kid whose name no one remembers.
EVAN: That’s . . . that’s terrible.
JARED: Hey. At least it was fun while it lasted. You got to have some quality time with your fake family, snuggle with Zoe Murphy . . .
EVAN: But that’s . . . that’s not why I was doing it. I was trying to help them. I just wanted to help them.
JARED: Regardless, bro. It’s over. A week from now? Everybody will have already forgotten about Connor. You’ll see.
(Lights on Jared snap out, as they snap up on Alana.)
ALANA: Everybody has forgotten about Connor. A week ago, the whole school was wearing those wristbands and the buttons with his face on them. People were talking to each other that never talked to each other before. And now . . . it’s all gone. Completely. You were his best friend. You can’t let this happen.
EVAN: Well, I know, but . . .
ALANA (Lightbulb): Maybe you can ask Zoe to do something. Or maybe you guys could do something together.
EVAN: Zoe?
ALANA: Yeah, she’s the perfect person to help get people interested again. You guys could write something together for the blog . . .
EVAN: Yeah, it’s just . . . I don’t know if that’s the best way for us to get people to remember him . . .
ALANA: Well, I can guarantee you that if you don’t do something, then no one will remember him. Is that what you want?
EVAN (Struggling to respond): But I’m just . . .
(Alana, exasperated by his indecisiveness, exits in a huff.
Evan sits there, alone.)
What am I supposed to do?
CONNOR: Why don’t you talk to Zoe?
(And suddenly Connor is there beside him.
There is nothing spectral or spooky about Connor’s presence, and Evan is not at all surprised to see him.)
EVAN: I can’t talk to Zoe. I already ruined everything with Zoe.
CONNOR (Dismissive): Says who? Jared? Why are you even talking to Jared about this?
EVAN: Who else am I supposed to talk to?
CONNOR: You can talk to me.
(Evan laughs, a ridiculous idea.)
Unless you have other options.
(Evan realizes he has none.)
EVAN: I don’t know what to do.
CONNOR: Look. Zoe, my parents . . . they need you. You’re the only person who can make sure everybody doesn’t just forget me.
(Beat.)
Oh right. They already did.
EVAN (Empathetic): After two whole weeks.
CONNOR: And once they’ve forgotten about me, what do you think happens to you? I mean, nobody cares about people like us.
EVAN: “People like us”?
CONNOR: Connor Murphy: the kid who threw a printer at Mrs. G. in second grade. Or Evan Hansen: the kid who stood outside a jazz band concert trying to talk to Zoe Murphy, but his hands were too sweaty. You know. People like that. Look:
DISAPPEAR
CONNOR:
Guys like you and me
We’re just the losers who keep waiting to be seen
Right? I mean . . .
No one seems to care
Or stops to notice that we’re there
So we get lost in the in-between
But, if you can somehow keep them thinking of me
And make me more than an abandoned memory
Well, that means we matter too
It means someone will see that you are there
No one deserves to be forgotten
No one deserves to fade away
No one should come and go
And have no one know
He was ever even here
No one deserves
To disappear, to disappear
Disappear
EVAN (Beginning to be convinced): It’s true.
CONNOR:
Even if you’ve always been that
Barely-in-the-background kind of guy
EVAN/CONNOR:
You still matter
CONNOR:
And even if you’re somebody who can’t escape the
Feeling that the world’s passed you by
EVAN:
You still matter
CONNOR:
If you never get around to doing some remarkable thing
EVAN/CONNOR:
That doesn’t mean . . .
EVAN:
That you’re not worth remembering
CONNOR:
Think of the people who
Need to know
EVAN:
They
need to know
So you need
To show them
I need to
show them
CONNOR/EVAN:
That no one deserves to be forgotten
EVAN:
No one deserves to be forgotten
CONNOR/EVAN:
No one deserves to fade away
EVAN:
To fade away
CONNOR/EVAN:
No one should flicker out
Or have any doubt
That it matters that they are here
EVAN:
No one deserves
CONNOR:
No one deserves
EVAN/CONNOR:
To disappear
To disappear, disappear
CONNOR:
When you’re fallin’ in a forest
And there’s nobody around
All you want is for somebody to find you
You’re fallin’ in a forest
And when you hit the ground
All you need is for somebody to find you
(And Connor is gone.
Evan, now at school, speaks to Alana and Jared, sharing a homemade pamphlet with them.)
EVAN: I’m calling it The Connor Project.
JARED (Skeptical): The Connor Project.
EVAN: A student group dedicated to keeping Connor’s memory alive, to showing that everybody should matter, everybody is important.
ALANA: I am so honored. I would love to be vice president of The Connor Project.
EVAN: Vice president?
ALANA: You’re right. We should be co-presidents.
EVAN (Just pleased she said yes): Yeah. No. Definitely. That works for me.
ALANA (To Jared): You can be treasurer or secretary. Unfortunately, the co-president position has already been filled.
JARED: Well, shit. I guess I’m going to have to order new buttons. Unless you think I can squeeze the words “Connor Project” onto the old buttons . . . I mean, depending on the font size . . .
EVAN (To Jared): Do you actually think we should do this?
(Alana answers for him.)
ALANA: Are you kidding, Evan? We have to do this. Not just for Connor. For . . . everyone.
(Evan, emboldened by the success, allows a small smile.)
EVAN:
’Cause no one deserves to be forgotten
ALANA/JARED:
No one deserves to fade away
EVAN:
No one deserves to fade away
(Jared hands each of them a button, unable to resist getting caught up in the excitement.
Lights shift and Evan, Alana, and Jared are with the Murphys at their kitchen table, Cynthia and Larry eagerly perusing a pamphlet.)
We’re calling it The Connor Project.
CYNTHIA (Trying it out): The Connor Project.
EVAN: Imagine a major online presence.
ALANA: With links to educational materials.
JARED: A massive fundraising drive . . .
EVAN: . . . to help people like Connor.
ALANA: And for the kickoff event, an all-school memorial assembly next week. Students, teachers, whoever wants to, they can get up and talk about Connor, talk about his legacy.
(Cynthia and Larry share a look.)
CYNTHIA: I don’t know what to say.
LARRY: I didn’t realize Connor meant this much to people.
ALANA: Oh my God. He was one of my closest acquaintances. He was my lab partner in Chemistry, and we presented together on Huck Finn in tenth grade. He was so funny. He kept calling it . . . well instead of “Huck” Finn . . .
(From Larry and Cynthia’s faces, she thinks better of finishing the story.)
Nobody else in our class thought of that.
(Evan turns to Zoe, cautiously, testing the waters.)
EVAN: For the assembly, I was thinking maybe the jazz band could do something . . .
ZOE: Oh. Yeah. Maybe.
JARED: Great idea, Evan.
(Evan glares at him.)
EVAN: Thank you, Jared.
JARED: No sweat.
CYNTHIA: Oh, Evan . . . this is just, this is wonderful.
(Cynthia takes Evan’s hand, unable to express her gratitude adequately in words.)
No one deserves to be forgotten
EVAN:
No one deserves to fade away
CYNTHIA/JARED/ALANA:
No one deserves to disappear
(Lights shift, as Larry, Cynthia, and Zoe exit.)
EVAN:
No one deserves to disappear
ALANA/JARED/EVAN:
No one should
Flicker out or have any doubt
That it matters that they are here
EVAN:
No one deserves
ALANA:
No one deserves
JARED:
No one deserves
EVAN/JARED/ALANA:
To disappear
To disappear
EVAN/JARED:
Disappear
ALANA:
No one deserves
To be forgotten
JARED:
To disappear
EVAN:
Disappear
Disappear
Disappear
Disappear
(Jared and Alana exit as lights shift to find Evan standing in Connor’s bedroom.
Cynthia holds out a nondescript necktie.)
CYNTHIA: For tomorrow. For the assembly.
EVAN (Unsure of what she means): Oh.
CYNTHIA: When Connor started seventh grade, all my girlfriends said, here comes Bar Mitzvah season. He’s going to have a different party every Saturday. I took him to get a suit, some shirts . . . a tie.
(Beat.)
He didn’t get invited to a single one.
(She extends the tie to Evan.)
I thought you could wear this for your speech.
(Evan goes cold, the familiar tingling sensation returning to his palms.)
EVAN: My what?
CYNTHIA: Well, Alana said that anyone who wanted to would have a chance to say something tomorrow. I think we all assumed that you would be the first to sign up.
EVAN: I don’t, um . . . the thing is just, I don’t really do very well with, um, with public speaking. I’m not very good at it. You wouldn’t want me to. Trust me.
CYNTHIA: Of course I would want you to. I’m sure the whole school wants to hear from you. I know Larry and I do, and Zoe . . .
(Evan says nothing.
She puts the tie in his hands.)
Think about it.
(She exits.
Evan sits there for a moment, staring at the tie, paralyzed.
Finally, he stands.
He slowly puts on the tie, a certain reverence to this.)
ZOE/CYNTHIA/ALANA:
To disappear
Disappear
To disappear
JARED/LARRY:
Disappear
Disappear
Disappear
ALANA/JARED:
To disappear
LARRY:
Disappear
ZOE/CYNTHIA:
Disappear
Disappear
Disappear
Disappear
To disappear
Disappear
Disappear
(Evan takes a deep, deep breath.
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a handful of note cards.
He turns and the lights shift.
The school auditorium.
Evan stands there, utterly alone on an empty, endless stage, staring out into the darkness, the note cards shaking in his trembling hands.
He begins slowly, tentative, terrified.)
EVAN: Good morning, students and faculty. I would, um, I would just like to say a few words to you today about . . . my best friend . . . Connor Murphy.
I’d like to tell you about the day that we went to the old Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. Connor and I, we s
tood under an oak tree, and Connor said, he wondered what the world would look like from all the way up there. So we decided to find out. We started climbing slowly, one branch at a time. When I finally looked back, we were already thirty feet off the ground. Connor just looked at me and smiled, that way he always did. And then . . . well, then I . . .
(His palms begin to sweat.
He nervously wipes them on his shirt.
It doesn’t help.)
. . . I fell.
(His anxiety only builds, as he continues to wipe his hands.)
Dear Evan Hansen Page 6